APT Caused Premature Ejaculation Journal

[SergeantSuper Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close SergeantSuper]

To introduce myself, I have always struggled in a sense with PE, but I never had actual sex till getting married to my wife In February of this year. First time we had sex last literally 1 second, but she was tired after the wedding and such so she didn't care much. Next morning we tried again and I lasted like 1.5 minutes. Which I would say has been my average since then. I obviously wanted to improve so I have spent since then reading a ton of theory, tried all the usual advice. Kegels, reverse kegels, not masturbating, no porn, edging, ect. With that I found that I was able to edge without even getting close to the PONR, but still whenever we had sex once I got on top and started humping I would feel like I lost control and was about to burst. When she is on top and doing the movement or giving me a blow job I literally have no issues whatsoever which is why I am convinced that this is entirely because of my muscular imbalance.

Thankfully about a month ago I discovered this forum thanks to some comment on r/prematureejaculation (fuck those guys, their advice is so bad the vast majority of the time). I have APT for literally as long as I can remember, I don't even remember being able to touch my toes once in my life it was so bad, I started working on that flexibility about a 4 months ago and now can kinda do it. But I still have a way to tight back and weak glutes and core.

Last Wednesday I went to see a pelvic floor physio who kinda just told me what I already knew, but also did some dry needling on my lower back which released those muscles for probably the first time in a decade. Literally immediately after doing it I stood up and touched my toe. She gave me a couple stretches for my psoas and exercises for my glutes.

This Saturday had sex with the wife, lasted about 5 mins and actually made her orgasm. She told me she doesn't like me to make her without my dick so its been a struggle. But now its time to fix this for good. Any advice would be appreciated specifically how I can better move my hips during sex, I'll try to update this thread a couple of times a week.

[skyisthelimitpe Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close skyisthelimitpe]

If you feel comfortable post a posture pic. I know you’ve went to multiple people already but can’t hurt. Just wanna know to what degree you have APT.

Do you have forward neck and rounded shoulders ?

[SergeantSuper Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close SergeantSuper]

If you feel comfortable post a posture pic. I know you’ve went to multiple people already but can’t hurt. Just wanna know to what degree you have APT.

Do you have forward neck and rounded shoulders ?

I can post a posture pic in a couple of hours when I get home, but it definitely is APT by butt sticks out way behind my ears when I am standing at rest. And yes I do have rounded shoulders and a bit of forward neck. I spend all day sitting at a desk for work, and in the past deadlifted and squated really heavy (relative to my weight) with pretty bad form which made this issue worse.

I've been following along your thread for the last couple of weeks, you helped to bring the idea to me that it was my posture causing these issues so thank you! Best of luck to you on this journey!

[skyisthelimitpe Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close skyisthelimitpe]

I've been following along your thread for the last couple of weeks, you helped to bring the idea to me that it was my posture causing these issues so thank you! Best of luck to you on this journey!

That makes me happy man glad I could help. I really want to see people stop doing crazy shit to relax their pf and I want to see a lot of men stop stressing and get their confidence back. PreE has really hurt my libido and confidence and I don't want that for everyone. Thanks to the people on this forum I believe we can save a lot of men from making constant mistakes that are detrimental to their PreE.

But yes please post a posture pic when you get the chance. Also remember that rounded shoulders and forward neck are very important to fix when on this journey

[SergeantSuper Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close SergeantSuper]

Totally agree with you, this forum feels like it is onto something that the rest of the internet seems to be blissfully unaware of. Its quite shocking how bad most of the advice is for this, it maybe will help someone who has never had sex out. But anyone truly struggling its going to do nothing for. I was reading the subreddit today and there are people suggesting random kids hop on SSRI's to cure this, which is just truly insane. You should not be fucking with your brain to solve a muscular issue.

Here are the posture pics.

back.jpg
left.jpg
front_neutral.jpg
right.jpg
front_pushing_hips_forward.jpg

The final pic is me trying to push my hips forward, as you can see it helps flatten my stomach too and get rid of the bulging at the top of my hips. I am excessively looking downward in these pics, more than I normally would. But I definitely do it to some degree at all times.

*Edit

Noticed that the forum turned my pictures on the side, sorry about that not sure how to fix.

[Anthony Gerio N Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Anthony Gerio N]

How is your flexibility?
Sometimes there's no significant postural issues and it is just a lack of hip power and general stiffness due to not being active.
You have weak abs and a bit of rounded shoulders, other than that the rest are ok.

General core workout.

[skyisthelimitpe Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close skyisthelimitpe]

Yeah I didn't think it was APT but wanted to wait before confirming that.

You did last 5 minutes which honestly is solid. I wasn't even able to last 10 seconds and that was every single time. Like Anthony said, weak core and hips. Then address those rounded shoulders and working on standing with good posture all day. If I were you I would just make a lifestyle change. Get a good and balanced gym routine going, some cardio, maybe a sport. I think you'd benefit from yoga as well.

Given that your average is 1.5 minutes and you have moments of 5 minutes, I'd say that with the lifestyle change mentioned above and practicing keeping that pf relaxed throughout the day you'll see a solid increase in lasting time

[SergeantSuper Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close SergeantSuper]

My flexibility is awful, until very recently I wasn't able to even come close to touching my toes with my legs extended, either sitting or standing. I have been working on that and on stretching my psoas which is extremely tight. The problem is when I try to do core workouts my hip flexors, specifically the TFL, do all the work. Any advice on how I can do less of that and engage my core more? I really wouldn't consider myself as not active, I regularly go for walks and until my stupid province shut down gyms I was hitting the gym too. When the weathers nice I do a lot of cycling as well. I live in Canada and its currently -25C and everything is shut down because of covid. So I can't get out as much as I would like or need to.

When squatting I have a butt wink very early into the squat, its caused by my lack of hip and ankle mobility. And it may seem my posture is okay when standing, but you don't have sex standing. My posture (maybe its wrong to call it that) really breaks down once I get on my knees or side. In my opinion, and that of the physiotherapist I saw, the root of all of these issues is at the root of my body. My psoas is incredibly tight, it constantly is tense to support my body. Which in turn pulls my hips backwards, then my quads compensate for that by having to hold more of the weight of my body (look at my quads in the pics they are very large and tight). That puts excess pressure on my knees which is compensated by calves and shins holding tight which prevents my ankles from having the correct mobility. Simply working out my core will do nothing to address these issues, but I definitely do have a weak core so I will include core workouts in my training.

I appreciate the reply, hope I don't sound rude.

[SergeantSuper Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close SergeantSuper]

Yeah I didn't think it was APT but wanted to wait before confirming that.

You did last 5 minutes which honestly is solid. I wasn't even able to last 10 seconds and that was every single time. Like Anthony said, weak core and hips. Then address those rounded shoulders and working on standing with good posture all day. If I were you I would just make a lifestyle change. Get a good and balanced gym routine going, some cardio, maybe a sport. I think you'd benefit from yoga as well.

Given that your average is 1.5 minutes and you have moments of 5 minutes, I'd say that with the lifestyle change mentioned above and practicing keeping that pf relaxed throughout the day you'll see a solid increase in lasting time

Honestly there is some degree of APT, the bulging stomach and tail bone sticking out show that. Its not as bad as some, but as you also mentioned my PE isn't as bad as most people either. I've also spent almost a month working on fixing it at this point. I made the title click baity to hopefully encourage others that this can cause it.

I completely agree I need some lifestyle changes, but as I pointed out. Its -25C and snowing, plus gyms are closed and team sports are banned. Once that changes I plan to join on recreational soccer team and get back to the gym, but for now I will just have to find a way to make do in my apartment, I'm moving to a bigger place at the end of the week so I will have room to actually workout at home soon. I also have to spend my day sitting at home for work as well, I am a software developer so I could use some advice on how to sit proper, or if its worth while for me to invest a different chair, or even if sitting on an exercise ball would help.

[skyisthelimitpe Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close skyisthelimitpe]

No need to apologize man you’re not sounding rude. This is all healthy debate this is how this community grows and a lot of us have no idea how our bodies work and that’s why we’re here.

But I do think you’re underestimating just how important the core is and how much a it can improve everything for you. To my understanding, core workouts are awesome for the psoas. Now I could be wrong because I am still learning, but making your core stronger is going to lessen the tension on that psoas and is going to help you a ridiculous amount.

As for hip and ankle mobility, I don’t think that’s a postural issue necessarily. What helped me with my hip mobility is split squats with focusing on really using the heel of my foot when I go down in the squat. Reverse lunges, camporini step backs, all those types of exercises help too. Your situation could be different.

When you say you do core workouts and your hip flexors are activating you may want to change up the type of core workout. Someone correct me if I’m wrong, but this is a sign of a weak core.

A stomach bulge and tailbone sticking out yes can be a sign of APT, but the degree that yours is doesn’t show that. A bit of a pelvic tilt is normal. I’m just not seeing APT in you.

The whole covid thing and gyms closing definitely blows but there are things you can do in your apartment to help. Especially core workouts

[Anthony Gerio N Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Anthony Gerio N]

My flexibility is awful,

Predictable. It is a general lack of mobility.
The thing with postural issues is some muscles are particularly out of order and training needs to be designed around that fact. But when body is in lack of general mobility, you don't have to be worried about those stuff, just increase training and decrease continuous sitting.

The problem is when I try to do core workouts my hip flexors, specifically the TFL, do all the work

I am really interested to see how is that possible, as in ab workouts rectus femoris and psoas are the ones who can intervene. TFL really is not designed or even able to do that type of work Jeff Cavalier has some really amazing points on how to prevent hip flexors out of the equation in ab workouts. Watch him on Youtube about ab workouts, you learn a lot.

A stomach bulge and tailbone sticking out yes can be a sign of APT, but the degree that yours is doesn’t show that. A bit of a pelvic tilt is normal. I’m just not seeing APT in you

:thumbs_up:

[skyisthelimitpe Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close skyisthelimitpe]

With all this being said and being in your situation on lockdown, my recommendation is getting a yoga mat and going on youtube and doing an online yoga class, pilates, core workouts, etc. Try to take random walking breaks throughout the day if you're sitting for too long

And then once lockdown is over (which hopefully should be soon) develop a solid gym routine, get a good diet, maybe attend some yoga, martial arts, pilates classes throughout the week. Throw some cardio in there. Then obviously maintain great posture throughout all of this as an add-on. I guess you could edge too and learn how to relax that pf during it.

I promise you will see great improvements with your lasting time with these changes

[SergeantSuper Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close SergeantSuper]

Alright, appreciate the feedback. I'll put more of a focus on my general mobility, definitely need to work on ankles and hips in that regard. As well as strengthening my glutes, hips, and core.

I watched this video which helped me to understand further what area of hip mobility I needed to work on. Like the guy in the video my external rotation is lacking in strength, so I will look for a few exercises I can do to strength that. While my hip internal rotation strength is quite strong.

And then once lockdown is over (which hopefully should be soon)

The government of Alberta said yesterday they have no time line for reopening... So I shouldn't get my hopes up in that regard, just need to get a solid routine that I can maintain at home. Once it finally does reopen I certainly will start getting active again.

I am really interested to see how is that possible, as in ab workouts rectus femoris and psoas are the ones who can intervene. TFL really is not designed or even able to do that type of work https://e5v4d7a2.stackpathcdn.com/fo...es/biggrin.png Jeff Cavalier has some really amazing points on how to prevent hip flexors out of the equation in ab workouts. Watch him on Youtube about ab workouts, you learn a lot.

I guess it isn't really my TFL in most cases then, I was just thinking about when I did decline situps and or planks how I always could feel that muscle holding tightly. I don't really know much about anatomy so take what I say with a grain of salt haha.

I'll get a routine together in the coming days and post it here for feedback. Gonna just work on clams, 90/90 hip lifts, hip bridges and generally walking more but its going to be really fucking cold till the friday though so that might be tough. I'll add in some planks with my feet pressed against the wall, I tried this and can really feel the engagement in my lower abs this way, and a couple more of the exercises outlined in this video. I will still need to do something about my rounded shoulders, any suggestions for that? I have a feeling strengthening my hips and core will have the added result of fixing those.

I am moving on Friday so after that I will get a real routine prepared and post it here for feedback.

[skyisthelimitpe Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close skyisthelimitpe]

Awesome!

For rounded shoulders I’d work on your upper back. Bunch of exercises available online that’ll teach you how to target your upper back area. Your case isn’t too bad so you can probably fix it pretty easily.

I think other than that you’ve got a solid foundation to go off of. Build a routine, post it here, and then go hard. I like to eat a high protein diet as well. Just a recommendation

Again, I really recommend Pilates and yoga at least once a week. You should really look into that as they’re very easy to do in a house and you’d benefit a lot from them. I’ve done some Pilates classes that have destroyed my core and it was great. You can google all the benefits of it for your psoas!

[Anthony Gerio N Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Anthony Gerio N]

Again, I really recommend Pilates and yoga at least once a week. You should really look into that as they’re very easy to do in a house and you’d benefit a lot from them. I’ve done some Pilates classes that have destroyed my core and it was great. You can google all the benefits of it for your psoas!

Before all these Covid stuff, around March 2020, I went to a Pilates and calisthenics mixed session with some professionals, most of them girls. I was considering myself good in core. Man I was the idiot in the class who cannot do anything, been training for it for months to get back at them after lockdown lol