I need help with arousal control

**Big Al** · 03-02-2021

Originally Posted by VirgilD5to6

any advice, or a thread with information to help better control the arousal? I have a problem where I constantly get IKs during foreplay and get non-wanted erection, despite fighting it with belly breaths and RKs, calming the mind and thinking of something else. Quite hard and frustrating.

IKs during extreme arousal are not a sign of anything wrong- on the contrary.

In cases where there's no anxiety but there is overarousal, you'll need to learn how to slow down as needed and when to still the mind. Practicing the techniques of Emotional Visualizations to get the desired effect is still recommended in this case, and performing them during sexual intercourse will allow you to practice and learn mastery.

**Rapid_Fire** · 03-02-2021

Originally Posted by skyisthelimitpe

I completely agree with this. A lot of people want to skip and go right to mental. That's not going to be effective for 95% of people. Almost every person that posts a posture pic here has something wrong physically. Gotta fix the physical before the mental your body needs to be fixed

I am addressing both at the same time and from my experience, I think progress in arousal control hits a wall until there is progress on the physical.

For example, I can now edge and control my arousal to some porn and last okay, taking things down a notch when i feel the arousal levels rising. But there are still times where my arousal goes beyond control.

During my edging session today, I was watching a hot girl masturbate and i was in control keeping my arousal down when it went up, remembering to breath and to relax. However, when that video ended i switched to a vid this chick sent me of her maturbating (this vid always gets me super aroused because I know her) So I hit PONR very quickly and tried to calm myself down but I couldn't get back onto the plateau. My IKs at this point were so strong that i just couldn't calm them down and was stuck on the PONR. The Iks were so strong and i did not have the ability to calm it down in my head.

I'm still not sure whether it is arousal or physical that is the key for me. some people, it may be arousal control only, others physical only. i think for me.. it is both.

**VirgilD5to6** · 03-03-2021

Originally Posted by skyisthelimitpe

I get IK's when i get a bit aroused and my PreE has almost disappeared at this point. Like a bit of a tingle down there. I don't believe in all this stuff about desensitizing your mind and all that. That sounds very unnatural. Fix the imbalances and you'll see results.

Everyone is different and controls the arousal differently. There is nothing unnatural about it. You should get aroused when you are actually having sex and be able to control it. Porn and quick masturbation has caused many people get over-aroused which ceases the arousal control. By applying these techniques you train your brain to not get aroused on watching porn but to be a natural and get aroused when it actually has to.

**VirgilD5to6** · 03-03-2021

Originally Posted by Rapid_Fire

I am addressing both at the same time and from my experience, I think progress in arousal control hits a wall until there is progress on the physical.

For example, I can now edge and control my arousal to some porn and last okay, taking things down a notch when i feel the arousal levels rising. But there are still times where my arousal goes beyond control.

During my edging session today, I was watching a hot girl masturbate and i was in control keeping my arousal down when it went up, remembering to breath and to relax. However, when that video ended i switched to a vid this chick sent me of her maturbating (this vid always gets me super aroused because I know her) So I hit PONR very quickly and tried to calm myself down but I couldn't get back onto the plateau. My IKs at this point were so strong that i just couldn't calm them down and was stuck on the PONR. The Iks were so strong and i did not have the ability to calm it down in my head.

I'm still not sure whether it is arousal or physical that is the key for me. some people, it may be arousal control only, others physical only. i think for me.. it is both.

It's both, but mostly arousal control. You need to find your own way to control it. I for example do it with different breathing techniques, kegels and reverse kegels, using almost all muscles.
I keep in my mind that sex is just normal thing to do, fun thing to do, everyone does it, sex is like a comedy movie - fun and enjoyable.