A newbies log to overcoming PE

[Mudita Member Find all posts View Profile Close Mudita]

Hello there,

I'm new on this forum and pretty much new to all the exercises too. Since I don't really understand how everyone here is going about beating PE, I felt like creating a log for myself would help me with some clarity. Hopefully there will be activity and helpful responses in this log.

Just a short story about my problem: At first I never experienced PE. But then at a certain point with my new girlfriend it came out of nowhere. Of course every now and then I came quickly before that. But now it slowly started becoming a problem. Due to my hefty anxiety responses I started experiencing PE everytime during sexual intercourse. I couldn't bare it anymore and after reading a thing or two online I immediately went to the doctor and got a prescription for Paroxetine (SSRI). This has helped me tremendously while taking it everyday for three months. For obvious reasons I got back to square one when I stopped taking the meds. So here we are again, trying to find a way out of this mess.

Sex is a really important, close and spiritual experience to me. So hopefully I will get through this in time.

A thing I mainly can't get to understand are the reverse kegels. I feel like this exercise would be most helpful in my situation since I experience "extreme" amounts of involuntary contractions. As soon as I start masturbating or having intercourse I already notice the contractions. If anyone has suggestions or more topics to read about this I would find that helpful. I've read the following topics on this forum:
- https://www.pegym.com/forums/prematu...se-kegels.html
- https://www.pegym.com/penis-exercises/ballooning
- https://www.pegym.com/forums/prematu...echniques.html

The past few weeks I am trying to get rid of my porn use or rather addiction. I managed to do no fap for three weeks, with watching porn like a fucking animal for two weeks and edging, only the last week I did completely nothing. After my relapse I've proceeded to not watch porn for a maximum of a week. So in this log I will also log my journey to noporn. I am not sure if I am going to get rid of masturbation completely, since this might help me on my way to beating PE. If I do choose to masturbate (with exercises for PE) this will be a maximum of once a week.

A summary of the things I will focus on to beat PE:

- Pelvic floor health (everyday): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oyGEVPuumtk
- Getting more conscious about mental and physical responses during sex or masturbation
- Ballooning exercises with breathing exercises to get control over involuntary contractions
- Reverse kegels (hopefully I will start to understand how this works some day)

Supplement routine:

I have started taking St Johns Wort from today. I will see what influence this will have on my PE in a couple of weeks. If it doesn't improve anything I will switch to 5 HTP. Since St Johns Wort cancels out a lot of other supplements due to interactions.

Next to this I am taking: Magnesium citrate, Vitamine D3 and Omega 3 fish oils. In the near future I am going to add probiotics, zinc and boron.

Currently I am not working out due to Covid. Hopefully I can start doing this again in the near future. My focus has always been powerlifting but this will be switched to bodybuilding and a shitload of focus on conditioning training. Sexual stamina also involves actual physical stamina.

I will be updating here at least once a week about my progress. If anybody has questions, feel free to ask.

[Mudita Member Find all posts View Profile Close Mudita]

Didnīt masturbate, watch porn or have sex for a while (7/8 days). Yesterday I had sex again and came in like 10 seconds.

The last time I actually did masturbate I found a way of holding it back. Which sadly didnīt work now. I could masturbate and then do a kegel hold (not at the point of dry orgasm) to keep myself from ejaculating.

So yesterday I basically was thinking about it already as soon as sex started. Because I didn't masturbate for a while and that gives me even more anxiety about ejaculating quickly. Then during intercourse I first just stayed in and didn't thrust at all, tried to breathe for a bit, then started thrusting and felt it immediately. I think I started having no control and anxious thoughts there. Because as soon as I feel it to quickly I feel like there is no way in hell I am gonna be able to last long that session. Then I tried to pull out and do that kegel hold technique which I did during masturbation and then I ejaculated.

I am consistently doing the stretching routine for pelvic floor which I posted here but with all the exercises in the stickies I really don't know where to start. Should I be doing the Arousal Technique, the kegel exercises, the reverse kegels or where should I even start? There is so many things laid out in this forum. Would like some reactions in my log for some help.

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

If you go to the stickies in the pre e forum there is a comprehensive pre made routine .

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

https://www.pegym.com/forums/prematu...aculation.html

[Mudita Member Find all posts View Profile Close Mudita]

https://www.pegym.com/forums/prematu...aculation.html

Thanks for the link!

So for now my goals would be to build a habit of doing these things:

- Reverse kegels 5 min every morning and evening
- 5x a week stretching routine (or more)
- Ballooning 5 min every evening
- Educating myself more on the arousal scale and every technique

With regards to edging. Is this something you are supposed to do everyday? Or would be once or twice a week enough to do?

Edit: I was gonna quit masturbating with ejaculation completely. Since I ejaculate really quickly when I don't do it for a while even during edging, I will keep doing this. So once a week I will ejaculate from masturbation but will never be allowed to watch porn.

I find that everything gets a bit too overcomplicated for me with all the exercises and how to do them. So to make it easy for myself I am gonna let myself keep it simple for the first 2 to 3 weeks.

So the new set rules for the upcoming 2 to 3 weeks will be:
- Ejaculate only once a week
- Have sex whenever I want to
- When edging aim to breathe, relax and last 20 minutes
- Reverse kegels 2x 5 minutes every day
- Pelvic floor health exercises 5x a week

I still don't understand the RK. Does this need to be done during eding and sex as well? I tend to not be able to breathe in a relaxed manner anymore when I do RK. My abs contract, and breathing becomes harder. So for me it's either I am relaxed or completely focused on RK and no relaxed breathing.

[fams33 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close fams33]

Hi Mudita,

In one of the ByggD's post, he recommends to edge daily if possible, so that we get accustomed to the arousal process and sensations quickly. If not atleast three to four days should be better.

[Mudita Member Find all posts View Profile Close Mudita]

Just relapsed with porn. Did do RKīs for 5 minutes before starting and then during watching porn too. Eventually relapsed no fap too. Came in seconds and noticed that as soon as I started stroking I basically reached the PONR immediately. While doing the RKīs and no touching I managed to not get completely erect and feel calm and didnīt notice strong IK. Quite curious how everything would help if Im able to stay calm and do RKīs but then as soon as touching happens I immediately reach PONR.

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

So rk can be done as part of an out of sex routine and they can be done during sex also .

With edging my personal view is ejaculate or not as you please AFTER you have achieved your goal . So if that is 5 min fine do that then ejaculate .

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

Here is a little speil I had on edging.

https://www.pegym.com/forums/prematu...tml?highlight=

[Mudita Member Find all posts View Profile Close Mudita]

Thanks for all your replies. Iīm sorry that Iīm kind a slow with learning about this, just have hard time understanding all the resources.

Thanks to the link youīve shared I realized I should simplify everything even a bit more for myself. I see that I should just mainly focus on edging and RKīs. For now it would probably be smarter for me to do RKīs only outside of edging and just use the start stop method while edging.

So my updated plan would be:

- Stop/start edging daily (at least 5x a week): https://www.pegym.com/forums/beginne...ing-101-a.html
- Reverse kegels 2x 5 mins a day outside of sex only
- Read the stickies and topics on a regular basis to learn about everything
- While edging be aware of all the sensations and learn about my responses to everything

Up until now I have been trying to RK and Kegel during sex or masturbation without really knowing when or how to do it. Constantly breathing in such a way that I am not relaxed anymore due to the RK. So I think I got the regimen correctly for now.

Really appreciate your help a lot!

!!!! @pegasus : Something I am still really confused about is the IK though. Because every time I masturbate I get completely anxious now as soon as I feel any contractions around my pelvic area and immediately think I am doing something wrong (in my mind any contraction is related to cumming since reading this forum, might have misinterpreted some things) and need to RK. Should I just focus on breathing normally and stroking slowly without focusing too much on if IK is happening or not. And then just stop when I feel I am about to cum, wait till it subsides and then continue again?

[Mudita Member Find all posts View Profile Close Mudita]

Doing the RK consistently everyday. Still not sure how to isolate the BC muscle. All I feel with pushing out is the middle and back RK I suppose. Where the penis meets the skin I just can't contract or push out any muscle. How long does it usually take to be able to do a RK?

One thing is for sure: I use too much pressure and have a hard time breathing everytime. Everytime I breathe out I do not feel anything push out anymore. I do feel relaxed in the pelvic area but no "balloon pushing out" which I do feel while breathing in and putting pressure through my abdominal area. Are you supposed to feel the RK in between your anus and ballsack? I do feel my anus expanding a lot too and not much in the actual front (where the penis meets the skin).

I am also way overdoing it now. During the whole I keep trying to do the RK just because I get frustrated by the fact that I feel like I'm not doing it right. I also notice now that even during the day my muscles are contracted there sometimes. Is a light contraction there a bad thing or is it only bad when you feel intense contractions? Still not sure what the difference between some contraction and a IK is too. Should it be completely relaxed (also during sex for example) or is a light contraction there not bad and only when you feel intense spasms it's bad?

[Mudita Member Find all posts View Profile Close Mudita]

Had sex yesterday. Tried to not think too much about the sex, arousal and everything and focus on breathing in through my belly while doing RK. Right before I started intercourse I also tried to do RK before going for it so I wouldn't become too aroused immediately. I was able to control it in missionary for a bit, reached PONR still pretty quickly (1 minute or something), but felt good for getting to know control a bit more. I suppose I started moving quickly too soon which caused me too feel the PONR. Then I didn't really handle it correctly, stopped thrusting for maybe 10 seconds and breathing, but then went immediately again and was at the same point within a second. Then I changed positions were she was in control which ofcourse led me to ejaculate.

Do remind that this was after not ejaculating for almost a week. So normally would've came and feel IK and uncontrollable arousal within 10 seconds. It's pretty cool to see what awareness and doing RK and knowledge about the subject can do within a week.

Update with regards to exercise routine: Did RK everyday for 2x 5 minutes. Didn't really do my pelvic mobility routine that much this week. Tried to edge in the shower with lube yesterday or something. I didn't even reach PONR at and got impatient after a while which made me stroke fast etc, still nothing, got bored so I stopped. Funny to see how I get like that, shows so much that my mind is completely used to porn and will become impatient during edging even with 100% erection. OFcourse I knew that ejaculation isn't the goal, but for some reason I still became impatient.

[Mudita Member Find all posts View Profile Close Mudita]

Had sex again yesterday. Came within 5 seconds of entering. It hurt as well, I suppose because of my tight foreskin. Is this something I should do stretches for or should I go to see a doctor for a creme?

Edit: I am moving since this week and didn't have any time to focus consistently on RK and stretching. Also not a lot of sleep, bad eating and stress so that could be the reason for yesterday.

[Mudita Member Find all posts View Profile Close Mudita]

Noticed that I'm having way more IK now even during the day. Might be due to moving, stress etc like I said in the previous post. Will be doing the stretches again from tomorrow and the RK consistently from today again.

For today I'll take some Phenibut in the hope that will prevent me from ejaculating too quickly in case I'll have sex today. I haven't done any edging for a while since I didn't have the chance to do it. My girlfriend is around a lot and have been really busy. Also didn't ejaculate from edging for even longer, the last edging session was without ejaculation. Probably didn't ejaculate for almost two weeks.

[Mudita Member Find all posts View Profile Close Mudita]

Just did an edging session with ejaculation after a long time. Set an timer for 20 minutes, under the shower using lube.
I didnīt have any trouble at all to prevent me from ejaculating in the 20 minutes. I did use RK every now and then when I thought I felt IK coming up. I am not 100% sure if it was an Ik though, since I just think every type of īcontractionī is an IK. Focused on breathing and sometimes slowing down a little bit, breathing in with RK and breathing out through my mouth. I noticed that every time my erection went up I started doing RK too and then it went down again. I find it kind a sad that you canīt allow your erection to fully develop. Do I understand it correctly that we will actually be trying to keep the erection down a bit? During sex that would be kind a sad tbh. Sex with a fully erect penis would be way better imo.

After the timer of 20 minutes went off I let my control go and tried my best to ejaculate. Which took a couple minutes as well but eventually I managed to do it.

So my question for today: Should I try to let my penis get more erect and then try to see how far I can go without coming to close to ejaculation. I think I got a bit of anxious now if my penis gets even close to fully erect because then everything starts to tense up a bit. I guess I should just experiment a bit more with this and try to get to know my body more.

Also doing hindi squats every couple hours through the day. I am working from home and will do a hindi squat with some RK breathing when I feel like my body needs it.