Depressed and Really Want to Fix This

[Omies13 Member Find all posts View Profile Close Omies13]

I'm back again..my usual routine seems to be I'm here starting a routine and then get haphazard about it and it falls off. Then my wife and I have sex which is very rare (maybe every 4-5 months) and I cum in 30-45 seconds sometimes even before I get inside of her). She gets super upset and it motaviates me to hop on here and try something new. I love my wife soo much and I really don't want to keep doing this to her and want us to have a normal and enjoyable sex life. We've been together for 10 years and have had this issue the entire time. Its gotten to the point that she avoids sex because it's so disappointing. This really is the only part of our relationship that has issues, we are such a strong and amazing couple otherwise and I know if I can solve this it will bring our relationship to the next level.

Anyways, about three months ago I bought a fleshlight and have learned a lot about myself. The first thing I learned is that my PE is casued by over arousal. I believe this has been created by too much porn when I was a youngling and quick masterbation. The reason I believe this is when using a FL, I can last about 12 minutes laying down on my back doing about 4-6 strokes a minute and RKing with each stroke. The second I introduce any kind of stimulation either audio, visual or even written I get uncontrollable IKs and I cum in about 3-5 strokes. The other thing I have discovered is I can only last 12 minutes in the position described above, if I try any other position and/or add thrusting I cum in the same 3-5 strokes.

What can I do to fix this? Will continuous and constant edging sessions with the FL do it? At this point I just want to see some results. I've tried things on and off for several years with not much to show for it.

[JustALilMore Senior Member Member of the Month August 2020 Find all posts View Profile Close JustALilMore]

Yep. Keep practicing with the FL. 4-6 strokes per minute is on the very low end. Ideally you’d be at around 50 per minute. The first step is to stay calm.

I was in the process of making a program based on strokes per minute, and slowly increasing the SPM until you reach a certain level, but I fell off as well. If you want to give it a try, feel free. I think I posted it in my PreE log.

[Pelvis Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Pelvis]

I'm back again..my usual routine seems to be I'm here starting a routine and then get haphazard about it and it falls off. Then my wife and I have sex which is very rare (maybe every 4-5 months) and I cum in 30-45 seconds sometimes even before I get inside of her). She gets super upset and it motaviates me to hop on here and try something new. I love my wife soo much and I really don't want to keep doing this to her and want us to have a normal and enjoyable sex life. We've been together for 10 years and have had this issue the entire time. Its gotten to the point that she avoids sex because it's so disappointing. This really is the only part of our relationship that has issues, we are such a strong and amazing couple otherwise and I know if I can solve this it will bring our relationship to the next level.

Anyways, about three months ago I bought a fleshlight and have learned a lot about myself. The first thing I learned is that my PE is casued by over arousal. I believe this has been created by too much porn when I was a youngling and quick masterbation. The reason I believe this is when using a FL, I can last about 12 minutes laying down on my back doing about 4-6 strokes a minute and RKing with each stroke. The second I introduce any kind of stimulation either audio, visual or even written I get uncontrollable IKs and I cum in about 3-5 strokes. The other thing I have discovered is I can only last 12 minutes in the position described above, if I try any other position and/or add thrusting I cum in the same 3-5 strokes.

What can I do to fix this? Will continuous and constant edging sessions with the FL do it? At this point I just want to see some results. I've tried things on and off for several years with not much to show for it.

Every 4-5 months - seriously? So what’s the deal with this ? Are you happy with this frequency?
If she’s abstaining from sex are you at least having fun without PIV ?
PreE is difficult enough without an empathetic partner.

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

Read this . You need to work on your pelvic floor as well as arousal .

https://www.pegym.com/forums/prematu...aculation.html

[Omies13 Member Find all posts View Profile Close Omies13]

Every 4-5 months - seriously? So what’s the deal with this ? Are you happy with this frequency?
If she’s abstaining from sex are you at least having fun without PIV ?
PreE is difficult enough without an empathetic partner.

No we are not doing any kind of fooling around or anything. She had been empathetic but we are 10 years in and dealing with the same nonsense she is kind of over trying over and over and getting disappointed. We are also in one of the most difficult times in our lives, we just lost our baby girl after three months in the ICU with her. She had a major birth defect called CHD. It was our first and the loss is monumental.

[Drjohn Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Drjohn]

Pm me and i will write you a guide How to make sure what your PRE E are coming from and How to attack it, usually its a combination of alot of things...

[Pelvis Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Pelvis]

No we are not doing any kind of fooling around or anything. She had been empathetic but we are 10 years in and dealing with the same nonsense she is kind of over trying over and over and getting disappointed. We are also in one of the most difficult times in our lives, we just lost our baby girl after three months in the ICU with her. She had a major birth defect called CHD. It was our first and the loss is monumental.

Understood. I wish you all the best.

[Johnny D ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Johnny D]

No we are not doing any kind of fooling around or anything. She had been empathetic but we are 10 years in and dealing with the same nonsense she is kind of over trying over and over and getting disappointed. We are also in one of the most difficult times in our lives, we just lost our baby girl after three months in the ICU with her. She had a major birth defect called CHD. It was our first and the loss is monumental.

Really sorry to hear that. I honestly can't even imagine. Take good care of your wife and yourself. All the best!