Implications

**Optimistic** · 02-13-2011

I've been lurking these forums for quite a while now. And all I want to say is thanks to all the people that take their time to help others and not just sit there quietly like I did.

The thing is that my PE started with my previous partner. As she was more of a f buddy than a girlfriend, I didn't bother too much at that time. However when I found a new girl I really liked, the same situation happened. I am talking about lasting no longer than 30 seconds to 1 minute.
I started to do usual Kegels. When masturbating it seemed to help me edge very significantly, however during the act it only made the things worse. From 1 minute man I became a 10-20 second man. Even though my girl said that it doesn't matter, I could really see in her eyes that it did. It got me devastated. I started to do more research on it.

Then I saw the two advices that really changed everything:

Reverse kegels + not thinking like a pornstar (concentrating on the penis during the act).

Now I start the act really slowly just to adapt. I start doing reverse kegels straight from the beginning just to feel the muscle. I also concentrate on kissing my girlfriend neck, lips, holding her arms, thinking other thoughts just to concentrate on other things. The thing is, when people think they implement not thinking about what is going on down their, they are fooling themselves. You need to really concentrate and enjoy.

After the first two minutes I already feel the confidence and it goes smooth sailing from there on. The first act I did this lasted 5 minutes (I thought this was enough), the second one 10 minutes, then 20 minutes. Incorporate a change of positions, time outs just to finger her and it can last forever.
This has worked for only a week now, therefore I am not claiming I won the war, but a few very important battles for sure.

Wish all the best of luck to all of you. It really is a fixable problem. Either it is physical or psichological.

**Chicco** · 02-13-2011

hey.... i have found a way to train myself to last longer... by myself.... no shame !! sold as a 'device' to treat p e....... £30 at boots.. the "delay device" and i have only used it for three of the six weeks they say and already I am more in charge..... i was getting desperate and the more i freaked out the more i freaked out but i am not alone in that.... give it a go someone and let me know how it goes? i guess this is really a male vibrator because i am actually having fun with this thing and out psyching it!!!!

**jimmy05** · 02-13-2011

Originally Posted by Optimistic

I've been lurking these forums for quite a while now. And all I want to say is thanks to all the people that take their time to help others and not just sit there quietly like I did.

The thing is that my PE started with my previous partner. As she was more of a f buddy than a girlfriend, I didn't bother too much at that time. However when I found a new girl I really liked, the same situation happened. I am talking about lasting no longer than 30 seconds to 1 minute.
I started to do usual Kegels. When masturbating it seemed to help me edge very significantly, however during the act it only made the things worse. From 1 minute man I became a 10-20 second man. Even though my girl said that it doesn't matter, I could really see in her eyes that it did. It got me devastated. I started to do more research on it.

Then I saw the two advices that really changed everything:

Reverse kegels + not thinking like a pornstar (concentrating on the penis during the act).

Now I start the act really slowly just to adapt. I start doing reverse kegels straight from the beginning just to feel the muscle. I also concentrate on kissing my girlfriend neck, lips, holding her arms, thinking other thoughts just to concentrate on other things. The thing is, when people think they implement not thinking about what is going on down their, they are fooling themselves. You need to really concentrate and enjoy.

After the first two minutes I already feel the confidence and it goes smooth sailing from there on. The first act I did this lasted 5 minutes (I thought this was enough), the second one 10 minutes, then 20 minutes. Incorporate a change of positions, time outs just to finger her and it can last forever.
This has worked for only a week now, therefore I am not claiming I won the war, but a few very important battles for sure.

Wish all the best of luck to all of you. It really is a fixable problem. Either it is physical or psichological.

thanks for this post. quick question... when you're doing reverse kegels during sex do you do long ones that you hold? or short rapid ones? i just need clarification on how i should be properly doing them (or at least how you do them)... thanks!

**spanky** · 02-13-2011

Originally Posted by Chicco

hey.... i have found a way to train myself to last longer... by myself.... no shame !! sold as a 'device' to treat p e....... £30 at boots.. the "delay device" and i have only used it for three of the six weeks they say and already I am more in charge..... i was getting desperate and the more i freaked out the more i freaked out but i am not alone in that.... give it a go someone and let me know how it goes? i guess this is really a male vibrator because i am actually having fun with this thing and out psyching it!!!!

I saw that for sale in Boots the other day and I did wonder. What is it, precisely?

**Optimistic** · 02-14-2011

Originally Posted by jimmy05

thanks for this post. quick question... when you're doing reverse kegels during sex do you do long ones that you hold? or short rapid ones? i just need clarification on how i should be properly doing them (or at least how you do them)... thanks!

I do only long ones (with long ones I mean 5-15 seconds during the act). When doing it not during sex, I do 1-2 minute reverse kegels. I try to concentrate and push really hard.
During sex, when you feel that the reverse kegels is starting to kick in, then move all your thoughts to concentration on other parts of your body. Start very slowly. It always takes time to feel it at the beginning and don't worry if you won't feel the effect in the first minute or so.

**spanky** · 02-14-2011

Originally Posted by Optimistic

I do only long ones (with long ones I mean 5-15 seconds during the act). When doing it not during sex, I do 1-2 minute reverse kegels. I try to concentrate and push really hard.
During sex, when you feel that the reverse kegels is starting to kick in, then move all your thoughts to concentration on other parts of your body. Start very slowly. It always takes time to feel it at the beginning and don't worry if you won't feel the effect in the first minute or so.

I think that sort of thing is really difficult to do during sex, it must take great discipline, you're so overwhelmed with everything else that's going on.

**spanky** · 02-14-2011

Originally Posted by Optimistic

Then I saw the two advices that really changed everything:

Reverse kegels + not thinking like a pornstar (concentrating on the penis during the act).

Straight up great advice there.

**jimmy05** · 02-14-2011

Originally Posted by spanky

I think that sort of thing is really difficult to do during sex, it must take great discipline, you're so overwhelmed with everything else that's going on.

how long do you do them during sex?

**spanky** · 02-14-2011

Well, I can't realy be authoritative, The last two times I had sex were either side of coming here and learning all this stuff. The earlier time didn't go well. The last time did.

I was stopping her and doing kegel holds at lower levels of arousal instead mainly. The couple of times I had to RK myself out of trouble I (again) stopped her moving and held for maybe 10 secs? She was on top too, so I was directing her to an extent, and also she could go for different movements rather than just in/out/in/out. I don't think I'd have found it as easy if I'd been in missionary, I'm quite tall so I find that a really uncomfortable way to have sex anyway.