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  1. 02-08-2013 #321
    Pegasus
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    This thread underlies much current practise.
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  2. 03-18-2013 #322
    throwback
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    I'm a bit late to this thread, but I felt compelled to join the forum and share my story. The short of it is that reverse kegels have done wonders for my stamina, and I will explain why I think this is below.

    I learned to give myself orgasms at a very young age--about age 7. To do this, I would do lots of kegels and rub my dick (thought I didn't understand what I was doing at that time). Flash forward to the present, and I think I have continued the extreme-kegling action during mastrubation and sex as an adult. The result, I think, was an extreme pelvic floor imbalance, and PE. I tried kegels to fix my PE, but that just made things worse--squeezing those muscles when I approach the ponr just brings me over that point very reliably and fast. Now I understand what is meant by being a "tight-ass" white guy. That was me.

    After reading this thread, I tried reverse kegels. To learn to control these muscles better, I found it useful at first to engage in a bit of assplay in order to learn what it feels like to relax those muscles completely--I focussed on relaxing my asshole. At the same time, I massage the tip of my penis and learned how to hold an erection while my kegel muscles are totally relaxed. Sometime a bit of jelqing was also required to get hard while fully reverse-kegeled, but this skill increased rapidly such that I can now easily maintain and 80% full erection while keeping those muscles totally relaxed. For me, this was a revelation. During sex, I have tended to tense up my dick and balls into a tight-ass state. This usually led to big, full erections, but getting it up has never been my problem: I have strong kegel muscles. My problem is lack of control. Not any more. After a few days of reverse kegels while maintaining an erection, I found that I could maintain this state for as long as I wanted. It also helped me to imagine a flow of sexual pleasure entering the tip of my spine and flooding through my whole body. Perhaps this is my version of the tatranic stuff whereby you are supposed to diffuse the pleasure away from your dick and balls and towards the rest of your body. Or maybe it is just me learning to relax.

    If I decide to come (at my choosing!), I simply flex those muscles via kegels. This brings my erection up to 100%, and I can come when I want. My wife is amazed (and pleased!) that I fixed my problem after so many years of PE. Many thanks to this thread--it was the key to figuring out my issues.
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  3. 03-19-2013 #323
    Pegasus
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    You are welcome , glad you got a good result so quickly.
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  4. 03-22-2013 #324
    throwback
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    Well, "quickly" is a relative term. Before I found a routine that worked for me, I went through jelqing, start/stop at ponr, breathing, mastrubation before sex, kegels, change positions, think of grandma, etc. None of those helpe me with my problem. Different strokes for different folks..literally!
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  5. 03-22-2013 #325
    billybrown
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    "think of grandma"
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    02/10/12: NBPEL: 6,75" (17cm) MidEG: 4,75" (12cm)
    04.04.13:
    NBPEL: 7.25" (18,4cm) MidEG: 5" (12,7cm)
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  6. 03-23-2013 #326
    spanky
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    Quote Originally Posted by throwback View Post
    Different strokes for different folks..literally!
    Yes and no. I think pelvic floor balance is a pretty regular problem, just a really hard one to identify until you explore all the possible angles. And a pretty hard one to describe and assess for yourself too.

    When I read people's success stories on here, and consider my own I'm sure there are only ever a handful of the same common and frequent causes. Sometimes one, sometimes a bit of each.

    This is one. No question. Glad to hear of your success. Feels awesome to have it under control doesn't it?
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  7. 03-23-2013 #327
    Wolfemother
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    LOL...Thats extreme
    Quote Originally Posted by billybrown View Post
    "think of grandma"
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    Mighty oaks from little acorns grow!
    Wolfemothers Progress Log

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  8. 03-24-2013 #328
    hoochiNn
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pegasus View Post
    You might also be less focused during sex,zero in less on your dick, allow positive sensation to spread to your whole body.
    So when edging/sex, focusing our mind 100% at Pelvic Floor control its a wrong idea?
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    Sorry about my poor english, I'm on it!

    My Pre-E cure log: https://www.pegym.com/forums/prematu...ion-log-2.html
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  9. 03-24-2013 #329
    spanky
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    Quote Originally Posted by hoochiNn View Post
    So when edging/sex, focusing our mind 100% at Pelvic Floor control its a wrong idea?
    Well in a word, yes.

    Sure you can, and at first you might need to. I know from my own experience that the first sex I had after starting this journey, I was near enough 100% concentrating on my own pelvic floor. And hey, after a night of it, kegel holds and RKs to keep myself at bay, I had the best sex I'd had for years. But when you do this you're missing out on so, so much. Sex is not just about your cock, it's about the pleasure you give her and she gives you.

    And yor arousal control is not just about your cock and pelvic floor. It's about your mind too. Not in a "think of grandma" way (lol) but in an "I am in control of myself" way where your control becomes second nature so you can drown yourself in the pleasures of sex and the pleasures of her, and concentrate on her pleasure.

    I started seeing this girl who I slept with above, and honestly I kind of stopped thinking about my pelvic floor and kegels after a short time. I had gained enough control to feel like I could put it to one side. I didn't have amazing stamina or anything, a fair few times I still came really quickly, but I didn't let it faze me or let it define our lovemaking/fucking, and that was the trick really.

    ... and from tht place I grew and got better and better. There was more to my journey of course, it didn't stop there, but once you start to get to that place where you feel like it is starting to be under your control, it's kind of effortless because you're not fighting, you're growing. Is that a bit esoteric? maybe.. but just as Peg has said elsewhere, you're learning to manipulate an *energy* inside you, not just your cock. Once you have some balance re-established in your pelvic floor, even a little, you still need to learn this skill. Pelvic floor balance is a *TOOL* and not an *ANSWER*.

    Good luck hoochiNn
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  10. 03-24-2013 #330
    throwback
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    I think the perceived differences among various posters relate to where on the pelvic floor balance one lies. In my case, I was an extreme "squeezer," meaning that I associated both hard-ons and orgasms ONLY with the kegel contraction. Thus, the advice to do kegels to cure PE was counterproductive. The breakthrough for me was to understand that it was possible to relax (to push out, as in pissing or farting) and still maintain an erection. It took a week to be able to isolate this sensation and understand that blood can flow into my dick even when I am relaxed. I don't think it was a case of muscle-strenghening as much as is was a case of learning how to isolate certain muscle groups. And yea--it feels awesome.
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