"From PE to MMO"- Minuteman's Orgasmic log

[Minuteman]

Had a very good session (about a 45 minutes or so) and it was pretty good. But I noticed that I can rarely have a soft wave when it isn't night or morning. Everything just distracts me to much to really focus to the level needed for ponr.

During the edging sessions I noticed an interesting thing about how useful for me is writhing down my thoughts and making guides is for both your confidence and memory during an edging session.

First of all when you teach other people or make the post in a way they can be educational you teach yourself all over again, purifying your knowledge more and more with every pass casting away the unfamiliar (which in many instances is one of the sources of anxiety). That way you test your own knowledge, and you become more sure of it with and it also brings your confidence up.

That is why I constantly motivate people to open their own logs not only does that benefit them, it benefit other people, I mean it might just be your observation or opinion that actually leads to some great discovery, not to mention that your past posts can also help with your present perspective, be they wrong or not, sometimes they remind us of some small but crucial observation that slips out mind, or by seeing just how little we lasted in the beginning we take pride in knowing that many of those then imposible to solve things are behind us.

The other thing that I learned is just how much writing that DO guide actually helped me to remember many things and categorize my knowledge. I mean there are so many aspects that simply slip my mind and now since I recalled many of them I was able to notice more and more things while I was edging, and in that clarity I found confidence and relaxation. Write down "Remember to breathe while edging" many times and you will eventually remember it.

So my contributing is also for my own selfish benefit.

[Minuteman]

Interesting morning today, I was kinda had that pre-waking morning erotic dream and my morning wood was all primed and ready. So as I usually do in the morning just to test things out I give it an edge or two.

This morning I noticed that I was kinda fat down there, hard as usual but more fat and sensitive in a good way and in my hand it felt more complete. So I got up and noticed that my penis was erected and fatter than usual but also kinda shorter than usual.

Since it was very sensitive and I was very aroused from the dream I turned that into a short masturbation session (aron 5-15 minutes) since I really didn't care to make it long, I tried out a few times to dance around the ponr and to back down and saw that I have no problems and just proceed to ejaculation.

All in all it was a nice session, it got me right out of bed. As for the fatter penis I it allso happened to me around a year ago when i was much more active and I think i had a fat penis now because about a day or two before I had a high arousal edging session that laster for about an hour and some.

The other interesting thing that I noticed is that my ejaculation speed and length (how far I shoot) is proportionate to the time spent erect, the more I am erect and edge the further and stronger will I shoot, which kinda makes sense.

[B_RIE]

Hello MinuteMan this is a fantastic thread you have here and your progress from your name sake to MMO is truly inspiring. I'm a newbie here at the forums but I have been lurking around for some time now and I'm just now ready to begin my journey to MMO. My problem is really coming up with a good starting point and work out routine for me so I would like your help for coming up with one. From reading I have discovered I have a VERY imbalanced pelvic floor muscle, when I'm aroused I get involuntary kegels all the time and I've noticed when I have sex it's constantly tensed up and I have to try and force it to relax. I hope that bit of background info helped and I look forward to hearing from you.

[Minuteman]

Hello MinuteMan this is a fantastic thread you have here and your progress from your name sake to MMO is truly inspiring. I'm a newbie here at the forums but I have been lurking around for some time now and I'm just now ready to begin my journey to MMO. My problem is really coming up with a good starting point and work out routine for me so I would like your help for coming up with one. From reading I have discovered I have a VERY imbalanced pelvic floor muscle, when I'm aroused I get involuntary kegels all the time and I've noticed when I have sex it's constantly tensed up and I have to try and force it to relax. I hope that bit of background info helped and I look forward to hearing from you.

Sorry for the late reply.

I get this question allot and I am frustrated by the fact that I can't help you in any "Do this and that this many times" way. A big part of premature ejaculation problem is your (our) psyche and without having short of a psycological session with you, helping you in that way is almost impossible. The one way I try to help is by posting here my experiences and hoping that people who read it will be able to help themselves trough it.

What follows is a almost a knee-jerk response to that question (this is a response to the pm send to me by cris_jos you can read more here):

First of all tank you for politeness. I have no problem reading long letters and since your is well formed (both in paragraph structure and politeness) so it is even easier.

Now, the very first thing I recommend to people asking me for advice is to open up their log in the premature ejaculation forum, as you have seen in my case that helps tremendously.

We have a tendency to overcomplicate matters and to use out brains far to much that most of the times makes us out of synch with out body and as you know that desynch doesn't help our condition.

Masturbation, edging and even sex is a very simple thing but understanding that takes time. Before you can understand that you must start and try to undersand yourself.

I always say that observation is really the bigest asset that you have. From observation comes understanding and with understanding you eliminate the unknown factors, for me those unknown factors where also the source of my frustrations with premature ejaculation.

So in order to keep this message short I am going go straight to recommendation.

The very first thing you need to know is not to do many thing at once, concentrate on one thing at a time until you are confitable with it and build up upon it.

The very first thing you need to do is to understand your arousal and in order to do that you have to be under it for extended periods of time.

So how to do that? Well first of all from now on you will ejaculate ONCE every three days.

DAY 1:

On the first day you will start slowly don't attack your penis at once get private and get naked and try to feel your body don't thing any extra sexual thought try to learn from touch, caress yourself but don't jerk of just let your penis slowly get fully erect with ocasional thug and stuff. If you lack proper arousal watch a short porn clip but don't do anything just accept the hornyness.

This sounds silly I know, caressing your body and stuff but you NEED to understand how your body reacts to both sexual and non sexual stimulation.

Now that you are fully erect just SLOOOOOOOOOWLY edge until ponr, don't think about anything neither good nor bad just try to bask in sensations, see where they come from and where they go, see how your breathing changes. When you get near ponr, and I mean VERY NEAR stop all movement and stand still, breath deep but not hard, close your eyes and feel it all over your body. In many first tries this is going to be hard, since you will ejaculate, if that happens try to enjoy it and try the same thing again tomorrow.

Now once you are at ponr and you really felt it, stop. Don't return to edging just stop. Lay down on the bed, or get your clotes and go out, anything but do not continue.

The only excuse for ejaculation in the treed day method is when you actually get blue balls (very rare) in other words your balls and starts to hurt, then you should ejaculate in other to alleviate the pain.

You can try to edge once again later on during a day but whatever you do ejaculation is not an option.

DAY 2:

Start the process in the same way that you did yesterday, but now given that you have not ejaculated you will(should) feel extra horny, but agan DO NOT RUSH. Take your time let it go full erected before any serious edging. Remmember, your goal now is to feel your body, you DO NOT CARE HOW LONG YOU LAST and to enjoy as much as you can. Play around, experiment, change positions frequently try stuff. When you come to ponr, again like last time, stop and just observe. After your ponr subsides and you penis goes a little limpish slowly continue again. Repeat as many times as you like BUT DO NOT EJACULATE.

People look down upon pleasure enjoyment during edging sessions seeing them as some sort of enemy the cause that makes them ejaculate early, but that is not the case. Most of the time you ejaculate because you are not horny enough, because your brain still think instead of focusing on sensations.

DAY 3:

By this day you should be feeling very... well you will see.

This is the 'field day' this the day where you can ejaculate and do it in any way you want. You can do it like yeasterday slowly experiencing it, you can just mastubate, whatever.

The point of this day is to ejaculate and give yourself and your body some down time.

After this you can do the 3 day again the next day or pause it is up to you.

The point off all this is to dissasociate ejaculation with orgasms and ejaculation with pleasure, most people have a hard time understanding that it isn't your ejaculation that brings orgasm it is most of the time the other way around. Ejaculation in essence is just that, ejaculation, and you might even notice it when you during some masturbation just ejaculated but felt nothing... terrible experience.

So for now, if you want to follow my advice, throw all the kegels, minutes and stuff out and just focus on this, you should do for about two weeks or more.

Also don't expect anything just enjoy the ride.

This brings us to sex and how all this connects.

The biggest frend of any premature ejaculation person is gradualness, that is why i told you to do it slow. Also in sex, make it slow, be sure to give her a lot of foreplay, be gradual. Tease yourself and her, don't just plunge into her, let your penis stay very hard for a while. Insert your penis into her and just make out with her, let your penis feel the warmth and try to get used to it, you are having sex there is no need to rush, she knows that you have premature ejaculate, she understands so anything you do better will only help her and reassure her of your progress. Let her teach you how to give her oral. Avoid missionary positions since they are hard for people with premature ejaculation at least in the beginning, try to do her doggy style or her on top of you.

Always be aware of your breathing and your state of mind during edging, don't think negative thoughts but don't thing to much positive thought, work on that your mind is mostly empty (this is really hard... but very possible and effective). Deep breaths help much. Also a part of your body will almost always tense up, try to notice what part is it and relax it. There are all "little things" but they build up on one another and their returns later on are much more than you think.

Solutions to premature ejaculation are simple ones, but most of the time out overanalytical mind desires it be something more complicating, but it takes time to really understand this.

Well for now that is it, try it out see how it goes, open a log and post your experiences, create a solid foundation and progress will be easy.

Good luck.

My reasoning behind 3day routine (Post from the topic here):

That is one of the reasons most of the time I recommend to people to first try a 3day routine and build some kinda of foundation where they can build upon, just asigning you a bunch of routines doesn't fix the core problem, this way you are teaching youself and aside from some beginning steps and confidence boost from others you are your greatest mentor, and greatest tormentor.

kegels and other stuff comes when you have observed yourself enough and understand your body enough to actually notice what those exercises do for you, that way you can make any adjustments that I can possibly predict that you will need.

Also form the typical psychological standpoint people with premature ejaculations are inpatient and what everything to work NOW and that is a downward spiral, some things for some people take months to really work right but inpatient people start jumping from routine to routine from this to that and thing that it is actually the last thing that helped when in reality that is mostly not correct, or profess that certain routines or stuff doesn't work after trying it for "FULL TWO WEEKS". I mean you had your lifetime to build up this psychological and physical monster that is PremE it is not going to go away that easily.

Also many people rely more on their analytics and less on sensations and emotions, sex isn't a calculation it is a ancient primal dance (to put it in a more "romantic" views) analytics came much much later. Not to mention that the smarter you are (and less emotionally intelligent to be honest ) the more intricate psychological traps and barriers you are making without knowing it, when all you need to do is relax and let go, for people whose works and activities revolve around stuff that requires analysis and more thinking this becomes ever much harder. (but on the other hand once they get right they will reap full benefits, if they get it right).

So for now just stick to your 3day routine (for several more "reps"). Also once you are with your wife you will be able to get better together and there is not a better way to fix premature ejaculation problems than with lots of sex

I appologize for what looks like a stock answer but it is made from whatever experience I have with this problem.

[Nachos87]

Hey, are there any other benefits from Kegels / Reverse Kegels, apart from DO and MMO?
Like shooting distance, number of 'squirts' etc...

[Minuteman]

Soft wave orgasm is an elusive thing, coupled with our typical male mentality of being too direct and "work the machine" point of view it is really no surprise that when every you try to grasp it, it just slips away, add to that the analytical mind of a premature ejaculationist and there you have it.

The more you get into the this matter the more you will understand that your mind, however capable of helping you, if you greatest deterrent. All good, mind blowing orgasms and sex is done with little to no presence of mind in its typical role. If we look it historically (or even better evolutionary) reproduction and orgasms came way before the developed human brain did.

So how do you get to that state where your mind acts more just as an reciever to your pleasure and little else, while your body is relaxed? The answer is the morning daydream.

Morning daydreaming is an almost perfect platform (foundation) needed for experiencing soft wave orgasms. It has all the prequisits a soft wave orgasm needs and more. Now, same with soft wave, you don't make morning daydreaming you make most of it when it happens. That is the most important point. You really need to be so connected with your self to actually have a soft wave on demand. To this day (and probably for who knows how long) I wasn't able to make it happen, I just managed to get most out of it when it happened.

Here is how it went down for me this morning:

It was morning and I was half awake, my body relaxed from a good night sleep and my erection typically just being there, halfish. Then I started to think about having sex with some girl and was simply letting the daydream build its form (you know of this days when almost everything you think about simply gets in your daydream), my penis reacted positively to that but I didn't touch it I just proceeded to daydream.

I did this for a while (time really doesn't matter) and my daydream grew in intensity, all the time my penis was fully errect, and the only motion that I have done was the slight swing/thrust from my hips (more unconscious than conscious) in order to more facilitate the reality of my daydream. I didn't do it because I knew that it would have that effect, my body did it from the desire I had.

From time to time I would absentmindedly put the hand on my penis simply to feel is it wet with precum that usually forms when I have daydreams like this. My body was fully relaxed with no typical stress tightness that we all have and have to make more than conscious effort to actually relax different parts of the body even when we lie down to edge, sometimes not even noticing because we spend all of our day worth with this, which is actually very sad.

More time passes and the daydreaming goes on, I begin to very slowly massage my penis and with time precum flows out, the daydreaming gets even more intensive. Now the crucual moment starts when I start to edge still in my daydream and my body with its bad habits starts to tense to much, because I am already pretty aroused and in normal situation with my nervous self it would be a pointles battle ending in premature ejaculation. But since I am in bed in the morning still daydreaming that morning relaxness helps me to relax much better then I would during the day.

At this point the performance isn't important only pleasure, and that is one of the key things, in my mind I am preforming just the way I want. This makes me confident and since my body is fully relaxed the pleasure circles trough my body making the pleasure to stop concentrating in one point (groin area), as this goes on my body starts to handle enourmus amount of arousal with ease because it is balanced out, what little surplus energy from that spills over is released by breath-outs and moans. I stop when I want to stop, I go when I want to go, but most of the time the arousal and pleasure are there in my body. When I can't get the pleasure to spread I just imaggine that a person from my dreams is embracing me and I can feel the touches and caresses on different areas on my body.

Time passes and I notice the ease of which I can continually edge, my penis gets just a little softer (actually if feels more like it gets more fluff? , but it doesn't lose the erection almost at all) and before I know it soft wave orgasms start, sometimes they are so delicate, like little wave that just touches my legs with I'm standing at the beach, or that little breath of perfume that passes you by when a beauty passes your way, that I almost can't notice them, on the other days they are so moving, strong yet gentle, that it is like being washed away by the most gentle tidal wave there is.

Time passes again and when the waves go down (the eventually go, and that is a good thing, too long of the good stuff, isn't so good) I am left with my erection and with PONR that I can now every so easy just make go away. And to complete the session I slowly get up and go ejaculate. I know I did it right when i feel energized after the act and I can feel echoes of both my ejaculation orgasm and soft wave orgasms within, sometimes even the next day.

-----------------

Once you manage to feel it this way, you will be able to recall it more easally in different situations. But it will almost never be by the push of a button. Soft way orgasms are simply that way. So if you even get to have one of those daydreaming mornings where you have the time to just be in your bed and the mind/dream welcomes the imaginations you send it's way give it a shot

I hope this will help somebody out there to have his first soft wave orgasm.

[B_RIE]

Thanks MMO for the reply! and your response is well appreciated. I'm going to start with what the article suggests and start the 3-day cycle for 2 weeks. I'm in a great mindset to overcome my PE because from reading multiple posts here I feel like that is the first step. I'm gonna start my PE log and track my responses to arousal. I'll check back in in 2 weeks to let you know how it goes.

[Minuteman]

Thanks MMO for the reply! and your response is well appreciated. I'm going to start with what the article suggests and start the 3-day cycle for 2 weeks. I'm in a great mindset to overcome my PE because from reading multiple posts here I feel like that is the first step. I'm gonna start my PE log and track my responses to arousal. I'll check back in in 2 weeks to let you know how it goes.

See you in two weeks. Try to write up as much obsevations and impressions you can, it will help both you and the people who will read that.

-------------------------

Since my libido decided to come back (even though it is autumn) I have been able to have very satisfying sessions and was able to experiment and improve upon certain aspects. One of these aspects is ejaculation. Here I will try to point out just how important it is for us that have premature ejaculation.

Since I have tried so hard to disassociate ejaculation from orgasm it kinda created a blind spot where I would just see ejaculation as a that and nothing else and didn't pay attention to it, that crated a feeling that something was missing in my sessions but I wasn't able to see what it is.

When I was young (and horny) the masturbations that I had then was all about pleasure, since my body was always relaxed and self-image and stress where non-existing I saw every part of masturbation as something that is bringing me pleasure, rather than a thing I have to get out of my mind to concentrate on more "important" things. Then came the later years where due to the porn, routine and bunch of stuff the whole masturbation thing became an default routine, from the way I masturbate to the way I ejaculate. Then came the pegym days where my sessions where suddenly the best I had but due to my tendency do disassociate ejaculation (and unfortunately associating ejaculation with failure) from orgasm I didn't improve upon the ejaculation part till about last two weeks.

What I did was, very simple, change the position I ejaculate. Little thing I know but the things it improved where not. Since I am generally a person who dislikes mess I always tend to ejaculate while standing over an toilet. By it self this isn't a big deal, but what I unconsciously did was associating this with my "routine" days and even though I didn't notice that it created problems. One of those was my diminishing ability to shot out sperm, mostly I was dribbling it, which resulted in not so great feeling. Mind you I had full body orgasms while ejaculating but the only thing it (aside for lighting me up as an christmas three) did was mask the problem I still had.

So instead of having that old way, I decided to use the position I used when i was younger. What I would do is sit down on the ground bend my legs in about 45 angle with feet on the floor, with my back in a sitting position but a little bit back. What I didn't notice during my regular sessions that of all the position this was the one where I get the least of the bad stimulation and the most of the good, since I don't pressure my prostate and my legs and whole body is in a relaxed position, if I do this with my back on the floor (bed) then I pressure the prostate more. When I was younger I chose this position unconsciously. I put a streak of toiler paper down of course since I still don't like to mess stuff up to much.

During the about two weeks of using that position my ejaculation improved and with it my orgasm during an ejaculation improved even more. What the problem was with the regular standing ejaculation was that my legs where under more stress during the ejaculation and most of the time I would dribble rather than ejaculate, while in this other position due to how relaxed I was the ejaculation would shoot out very far and mostly for each spasm. It just felt right, because when you dribble a lot of sperm actually is in the canal, but with shotting it out you get the feeling that everything down there is empty and you simply feel better.

This made me realize several very important things about ejaculation and premE.

- First of all by finally stopping the routine ejaculation I am able to disassociate my past bad ejaculations and habits (quickly ejaculating from porn etc) from the good ones, that means that after the ejaculations I would feel better both consciously and unconsciously.

- Second, ejaculation even if we don't want it to, it effects our view of our performance.

I mean just look at the situation like this: You have a excellent session and it is all going as it should, you even lasted more than usually BUT you suddenly ejaculate... And you feel (even though you performed better) like you achieved nothing, even though you know that isn't trough you can't shake the feeling that it just isn't good, this happened at least once to you.

So what we need to look to improve in our sessions isn't just the time we last, it is how we feel about ejaculating. The more good ejaculations you have the better you will feel after it and more accomplished.

In other words lets look the situation in reverse: Today I masturbated about 10-15 minutes which with my usually 30-45 minutes is bad, but since I had a very satisfying ejaculation+orgasm (I actually shoot out of bounds, length vise, of the toiler paper which is impressive for me) I feel much better, then when I have a 20-30 minutes session and I end up prematurely ejaculating. That is because even if you don't want to you are associating it with the times when you had even worse premature ejaculation.

- And finally by having a good ejaculation you are healing your mind since you will feel more masculine and also more proud of yourself (it is silly but it is true). And that will further speed up your fixing process since you will now both enjoy the duration and the end. If you, for example, are doing 3day routine and manage to after a 2 day build up one the third day have a satisfying ejaculation regardless of the time (which is the point of the third day) you will progress so much faster than those that instead of letting go of themselves and simply enjoying that third day ejaculation try to last longer on the third day only to (as it is because you just had 2 day of non ejaculation edging) blow extremely fast and feel like they did nothing (which is not true).

This might feel as an unimportant thing for those who don't have a problem as specific like this and who even though the have premature ejaculations do enjoy their ejaculations, but for those, like me, this is a big relevation and a step forward. So try to find your ejaculation position or way or whatever that makes you feel much better when you ejaculate, and above all else (even the amount of time you last) be sure that at the end of the session you plan to ejaculate you ejaculate in a way that leaves you satisfied.

[immortal96]

I have a question.

Even though during sex i have an orgasm and i ejaculate stll i am erect. I had orgasm 3 times during sex and still i was erect and ready to go for more.

But when i masturbate and the first time i ejaculate my penis goes limp.

Anyones got an idea what this is? or anyone experienced something like this???

[Minuteman]

I have a question.

Even though during sex i have an orgasm and i ejaculate stll i am erect. I had orgasm 3 times during sex and still i was erect and ready to go for more.

But when i masturbate and the first time i ejaculate my penis goes limp.

Anyones got an idea what this is? or anyone experienced something like this???

Depending on how old are you, how long the sex last versus the mastubation, and most importantly how aroused you are, staying hard after ejaculating can happen. Also if you during the sex somehow manage to not trigger the 'last spasm' (the one that sends the message to your brain that you have ejaculated and that refractory phase should begin), this can happen by holding a mild reverse kegel (or trying to relax as much as you can during the ejaculation) while ejaculating and causing the spasms to subside while your ejaculation just dribbles out (multiple ejaculations).