Finally learning to control orgasm!

[BeatIt]

"pleasurable feeling" I would say I am capable of sending a "pleasurable feeling" up my spine by tensing certain muscles somewhere between my back and chest, also with controlled breathing. Do either of you experience this? Are you capable for willing a "chill" up your spine?

I never really thought of this as an orgasm

I mention something like it in my first post

[Minuteman]

"pleasurable feeling" I would say I am capable of sending a "pleasurable feeling" up my spine by tensing certain muscles somewhere between my back and chest, also with controlled breathing. Do either of you experience this? Are you capable for willing a "chill" up your spine?

I never really thought of this as an orgasm

I mention something like it in my first post

Using the taoist definition that is moving your chi up the spine and it is a part of a "Big Draw". This is a good beginning point towards experiencing wave orgasms, work on it more so it can become the orgasm, try including slight rocking of the pelvis to make those stronger, but don't be to hung up on wave orgasms or you might fall in a vicious cycle of always edging just to experience it, which will in return make it more harder to experience it. I almost fell down in that trap, but Pegasus helped me avoid it with good advices, and i helped myself by enjoying the now and not rushing to experience it (in other words "If it comes it comes, if it doesn't it doesn't")...

Also when experiencing a wave orgasm it involves all of your body, now the center of that wave can be your penis, your back or your head/brain or all of them depending on the power of that orgasm, but it is always a full body.

[km0]

Quick question: How do you locate the BC muscle? I always thought it was just the PC muscle and this BC muscle is a new term for me.
(When I first read the post, I thought you were misinformed and meant the PC muscle not BC muscle lol)

What I do is kinda like squeezing my asshole. Is that how you flex or am I doing it wrong b/c I feel like I am.

[Minuteman]

Don't bother with muscle names.

Just try to flex your asshole, and just behind your balls. Also when erect try to lift you dick flexing those muscles and you got the right ones. If nothing helps go to pee and stop your urine, you will then notice what muscles did you use, and that is it.

[ravenous101]

I read many guys sating "Its so weird sometimes i cum so fast and just the other day I lasted SOOO LONG!!" Well chances are you were more relaxed that day.

this is so true, being able to relax your body and mind and staying relaxed during sex is the ultimate key to lasting longer.

[Ezzer]

I'm a tad confused are you talking about doing kegal exercises or reverse kegels? I was always under the impression that you couldn’t "improve" the muscle you use when you do a reverse kegel

[spanky]

It's starting to seem like we should basically just be working every damned muscle down there to achieve control. Sorry, that's a genuine comment/question - I don't mean that to sound as sarcastic as it does

[Pegasus]

It's starting to seem like we should basically just be working every damned muscle down there to achieve control. Sorry, that's a genuine comment/question - I don't mean that to sound as sarcastic as it does

Yes.

[Minuteman]

Indeed, but it kinda has a weird progression curve, in the beginning is very steep, so steep that many of the people don't even notice it as an option. After some time the curve becames more flattish and it becomes much easier, in fact it can become so easy you start to wonder why didn't you do this before. It may change depending on the person but once your body grasps the intention it becomes much easier and the "working every damned muscle down there" becomes a much clearer goal so don't give up

[spanky]

Thanks for the words of encouragement! I'm determined to beat this thing.

The more time I've spent doing this, trying and variously succeeding/failing to isolate individual muscles, it's certainly true that I've become aware physically of far more dynamism in my body down there than I realised, and I'm slowly gaining more variation over what muscles I can control. A bit like opening your eyes in the morning and seeing your room slowly come into focus

With the exception of ab-focused RK (as opposed to anal), I haven't really gained any ejac. control along with that, and I wouldn't really call RK "control" anyway, it's more like just a higher wall at the PONR.

As I've said elsewhere, RKs are by a long way the most effective thing I've found so far, which seems odd as it doesn't feel like you're even working the pelvic floor, but I'm not complaining. That doesn't reduce arousal or sensitivity however, which still gets real high real quick, but before doing RKs I'd be inside and suddenly PONR would pop up and I'd find myself unable to even move without blowing my load, let alone pull out in time for a breather. RKs have changed it from a "cumming too soon" problem into a "needing to cum too soon" problem. It's not a fix by any means, but it's progress.

Ideally of course I'd be able to stave off lower levels of arousal with equal effectiveness, which I imagine would come pretty close to having total control, but I haven't found a magic bullet like RKs for that yet. I wonder though, as my muscle control down there "comes into focus," should I be expecting control to gradually come along with that? Or maybe will there be a moment (like isolating RK) where I'll newly "discover" a muscle I can isolate that I couldn't before and I'll have the keys to the kingdom?