Reverse kegels 101 premature ejaculation and pelvic balance

[Pegasus]

What I've come to recognise through doing kegels is that it's more than this for me, there's a continuous low level general "background" tension in my BC, maybe PC too, which has two effects. 1) brings on ponr as we know, and 2) makes the stronger involuntary spasms much more likely and much harder to anticipate or catch as there's less "distance" for the muscle to go.

I don't think I'll be able to fully hold off the involuntary clenches without first getting shot of that low background tension.

Does that ring true for you too? Or is that just me?

Hmm this is very interesting ,what do other members think on this?

[Pirate]

I know the background tension to which Spanky refers. I have noticed it also. It is however possible to consciously reduce that tension.
To practice try this, next time you pee (why do we always end up talking about peeing? anyway)the next time you pee instead of kegeling or reverse kegeling think about relaxing so that your pee stream slows down.
A word of caution, make sure that you follow this up with both kegels and reverse kegels. If you get in the habit of relaxed peeing you run the risk of losing some of your pc/bc strength. You are only doing the relaxing exercise to improve your control. It is not a conditioning exercise.

[Mr. Optimistic]

Well I have gotten better Pegasus, but since I am doing multiple things, like trying to relax my pc/bc muscles, so its hard to tell which treatment is benefiting me the most but Im sure each of them is helping, which helps but there is a certain point maybe after 5 minutes of masturbating where the involuntary kegels become strong and become very hard to fight off, its like Spanky said I have that built up tension that makes the involuntary kegel so very close from happening, its like a hair trigger to disaster.
I've got the back reverse kegel down but I am having some trouble with front, but standing up seems the best way to do it for now so hopefully it will get strong enough to where I can do it in any position which would be helpful

[Know Thyself]

Hello PEGym! I am new to the forums so please be patient. Anyways I should start by saying thank you all for this glorious site! I have been lurking for about two weeks reading as much info as I can.... there is A LOT!
So i found this thread through my "lurking" and have to say I think it changed my life! I have had PE my "whole" life (I'm 25, began having sex at 14, so 11 years). When having sex i usually only last 2minutes tops. This has always created a mass of shame and doubt in my mind. I have tried many different approaches throughout the years but nothing has worked. I had all but given up until an "injury" occurred about a month ago. While I was browsing the net trying to figure out how to heal said injury, I stumbled across this site.
What caught my eye was not the enlargement exercises, (which caused my injury-too bad i did not find pegym sooner!) but the forum dedicated solely to premature ejaculation. At the top I read the words "Reverse kegles". This caught my interest, as I am familiar with standard kegles(I did them for 3 years) but had never heard of RK. What really shook me though was the theory that PE can be caused by an imbalance in the pelvic floor muscles. So I read on. The more I thought about it the more I realized that this imbalance really was my problem. I have always taken psychology's belief that masturbation habits as a child affect your sexual stamina as an adult. Looking back I was always tense when I would partake in such pleasures (as some members have also stated).
Perhaps this could have been the cause of imbalance, but I believe... in retrospect... that my imbalance occurred earlier than this. After giving this matter some thought it dawned on me that as a much younger child I did not like to go to the bathroom (anal retentive?). So I would hold my pee in for very extended periods of time to the point of great pain. Does anyone think this could have helped create my imbalance? Anyways the point is that my pelvic floor has always been tight, not just when I'm aroused. So I read on.
I had mentioned earlier that I have done kegels in the past. I did them for three years or so with little results in regards to pe. It has been a long time since i consciously did them. So I tried and could hold a kegel for a long time (though they used to be much stronger) with no use of abdominals. I can still isolate them also. What really shocked me was that I could not do an rk to save my life! This only further proved to me that yes my pelvic floor is in imbalance and yes I need to start building my rk. It amazed me just how weak they were. I remember when I started regular kegels years ago I picked it up almost instantly (more proof of an imbalance I suppose?), but reverse was very hard for me.
Through everybody's shared wisdom on here I am getting the hang of them. I have been doing a 100% reverse routine for about a week. I still have a long ways to go but I can now do them while breathing, moving, etc. I can isolate the front from the back but not back from front. Like I said I have a lot of work to do. I was eager to start edging and try them out, but because of the injury I mentioned before I could not masturbate or have sex (this had been the longest month of my life!)

Now for the real reason of this post!
So my injury is healed and I have been 100%rking for a week. My wife and I finally had sex again last night. OH GLORIOUS DAY! We decided to take it nice and easy so as to not flare up my injury again. I really wanted to incorporate my rk's into edging first but I said "what the hell". Right off the bat I found that as always my pc's/bc's were tense. So I relaxed them with a little rk. They stayed relaxed for ten seconds at most and then started to tense again. So I did another more forceful rk and let off. I continued this process the whole time we were having sex. At first it seemed labor-some but the longer I continued the more I was able to focus on her. By doing this I was able to hold off my ponr for quite a while-20 to 30 minutes! That may not seem like much to the average joe but for me and my pe it was an eternity! I finally stopped rk'ing out of sheer exhaustion and as soon as I did my muscles clenched and I climaxed. We had sex again this morning and i tried to have a repeat performance, but I only lasted 5minutes (still twice as long as normal!). I just did not have the strength to keep my pc/bc muscles relaxed with rk's (fatigue).
I cannot believe the results I had with my rk's! I know that perhaps this is not the ultimate and the ultimate goal being BALANCE, but it did help immensely. I also realize that there are a lot of factors that could helped in my stamina. The two main ones that I can think of are:
1)I have not had sex or masturbated in a month(but in my experience that has always made me shoot quicker)
2)The tempo last night was much slower than this morning, enabling me to focus more and manually relax with rk's more easily

I believe that I will continue with my 100%rk routine for another week and then incorporate my standard kegels back in(as they are already stronger). I will also start edging to play around with rk's more. I will let you guys know how this works if interested. I am in no way claiming I have cured my pe, but for now I can calm it somewhat. And after 11yrs that is more than I ever expected or let myself hope for. Thank you all so much for bringing this imbalance to my attention, I feel like for the first time I have hope that pe can be cured and is not just mental. I now truly believe that for me it is physical, it is the imbalance, and it can be cured.
I am sorry if this post is too long, placed in the wrong thread, or just not productive. I am new and just wanted you guys to know that you really are onto something here. My life has been a losing war with premature ejaculation, and last night i feel like i found the mother f'n ABOMB! Thank you again. I am for forever grateful.

[Hanma]

Well, I get involuntary kegel / spasms when I am close to PONR or when I am getting an erection while in the aroused state. I noticed when I am getting erect without being aroused I don't get as many spasms.

Any tips, suggestions or ideas, people?

[Pegasus]

Ok guys I have done physio for months at times to recover from injuries and don't get me started on my rotator cuff.
So mr O continue your training, it seems to be having a good effect. Likewise spanky. Hanma you might in the same situation.
Thank you for the kudos from myself and the team know.

[spanky]

I'll be honest I haven't seen any significant improvement yet ... but, and this is a big but, I'm infinitely more aware of my body and my response now than I've ever been and it's empowering because although I'm now aware of how much work I need to do, I'm wholly confident of being on the right path and cracking this thing.

You work tirelessly on this subject Peg, and you're an asset to this place. You already know how much I appreciate the efforts you make... and your patience with me asking random questions like a dog with a bone. So to speak

I'm just looking forward to the day it all comes together. When it does, it might be worth publishing all these conversations more formally than having all the good stuff buried in a forum. I've said this before, but it's really hard to find any practical information on the subject online, and for something that affects so many people, that's a massive omission.

[spanky]

Really inspiring story @KnowThyself. I haven't been so lucky as to see such solid results yet myself, but I 100% share your enthusiasm for the pelvic floor balance theory. Your testimonial just cements my confidence in it, which was even just in theory already ten times more plausible any other diagnoses I've heard.

congratulations on your successes man, long may they continue

[Know Thyself]

Thanks for the kind words. I have been smiling from ear to ear today! Im not sure how to get the quotes in the reply so i will just address them as follows:

Pegasus- I owe you a 747 filled with kudos! I honestly gave up on trying. I am filled with a new found hope. Through reading on this site, (just silently taking it all in right now) I think my goal for a while will not be enlarging exercises but going for mmo. I have heard them described on here and believe I have experienced something close to this. That was during some heavy ecstasy days (the only time I could last longer) and would very much like to accomplish this without mdma. Is this something I should keep a log on? Thank you again for what you do here "I would not have seen far if it were not for the shoulders of giants".

Spanky- Thanks for the support. I am having trouble repeating my success so I am still new also. I am sure both you and I are well on our way to making this problem part of the past. I also agree that this is the most plausible explanation presented thus far. I do believe that there are psychological scars that coincide, but in my case I cant recall realizing that this was a problem at first. This leads me to believe every day, with more and more conviction, that my pe is that of a physical nature. Anyways I also wanted to say thanks for asking all the right questions and sharing your analytical knowledge! I don't think I would be picking this stuff up so well if you had not.

I too feel that I have this back round tension that you were talking about. That whole area (thighs, abs, back) is always tight. I think that this is where breathing can really help. What seems to be helping me subdue the tension a little is inhaling deep into my stomach and rk'ing at the same rate. Then when I exhale I try to release it slower than my exhale. I am probably the last person you should be taking advice from, as I barely know what I'm doing. But it helps me so I thought I would throw it out there. I really cant wait to try these methods out and contribute some insight, pay it forward kinda deal.

Taking some rest as I think I worked the kegels a little too much (hit the ground running!) I think I will start edging tomorrow.. what a better way to start a friday!

[Pegasus]

Thank you guys and good work.