Hi there, I've been following this forum for a while now and well I seem to be making progress in some sense, but obviously not others. I first had sex last year when I was with my girlfriend, the first time was obviously a huge disappointment on my part. But she was cool with it, even when this kept happening. When we went to Uni, we broke up and I figured it'd solve itself. Anyway, I wouldn't say I'm that unattractive (despite a few issues about being self conscious), so it was inevitable I'd sleep with someone. However, when I was with this girl, I couldn't bring myself to actually have sex with her (I like to think it was because she wasn't a looker... A VERY drunk night. However it's probably because I was scared.). So yeah, then I realised I was too scared to ask anyone new on a date or w/e in case I was laughed at.
I tried doing kegels for a while and figured it'd solve it quickly enough and I'd be on my way. However it didn't seem to help and I stopped. However a few weeks ago I decided there were aspects of my life I wanted to change, this being one of them so I started trying some things. I cut out porn and low and behold I was able to go 10 -15 (perhaps longer, I tended to get a bit bored) so I could only imagine that the masturbating quickly to porn in my youth had screwed me over. I cut it out for a while, then I figured I'd try it to see if I'd made any improvement the other day. Nope. Still 30 seconds or whatever. I noticed that I was a lot harder when I was watching it, much like when with a girl. I'm pretty confused where to go from here. I want to solve this, it's obviously an arousal level thing, but I don't know how to solve it. I've tried the whole, think of things, but it's really difficult.
I noticed a few of you on here can hold a kegel for 2 or so minutes, is that the level I want to be at? I got it up to 30secs or so. But I think if I cut out porn again, I'll be fine, but will it cure anything? Not sure if I should be mimicking the same arousal level and try and keep it down? Any ideas? Sorry for the longish post, figured it'd help
I tried doing kegels for a while and figured it'd solve it quickly enough and I'd be on my way. However it didn't seem to help and I stopped. However a few weeks ago I decided there were aspects of my life I wanted to change, this being one of them so I started trying some things. I cut out porn and low and behold I was able to go 10 -15 (perhaps longer, I tended to get a bit bored) so I could only imagine that the masturbating quickly to porn in my youth had screwed me over. I cut it out for a while, then I figured I'd try it to see if I'd made any improvement the other day. Nope. Still 30 seconds or whatever. I noticed that I was a lot harder when I was watching it, much like when with a girl. I'm pretty confused where to go from here. I want to solve this, it's obviously an arousal level thing, but I don't know how to solve it. I've tried the whole, think of things, but it's really difficult.
I noticed a few of you on here can hold a kegel for 2 or so minutes, is that the level I want to be at? I got it up to 30secs or so. But I think if I cut out porn again, I'll be fine, but will it cure anything? Not sure if I should be mimicking the same arousal level and try and keep it down? Any ideas? Sorry for the longish post, figured it'd help
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