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  • A few questions

    Hi there, I've been following this forum for a while now and well I seem to be making progress in some sense, but obviously not others. I first had sex last year when I was with my girlfriend, the first time was obviously a huge disappointment on my part. But she was cool with it, even when this kept happening. When we went to Uni, we broke up and I figured it'd solve itself. Anyway, I wouldn't say I'm that unattractive (despite a few issues about being self conscious), so it was inevitable I'd sleep with someone. However, when I was with this girl, I couldn't bring myself to actually have sex with her (I like to think it was because she wasn't a looker... A VERY drunk night. However it's probably because I was scared.). So yeah, then I realised I was too scared to ask anyone new on a date or w/e in case I was laughed at.

    I tried doing kegels for a while and figured it'd solve it quickly enough and I'd be on my way. However it didn't seem to help and I stopped. However a few weeks ago I decided there were aspects of my life I wanted to change, this being one of them so I started trying some things. I cut out porn and low and behold I was able to go 10 -15 (perhaps longer, I tended to get a bit bored) so I could only imagine that the masturbating quickly to porn in my youth had screwed me over. I cut it out for a while, then I figured I'd try it to see if I'd made any improvement the other day. Nope. Still 30 seconds or whatever. I noticed that I was a lot harder when I was watching it, much like when with a girl. I'm pretty confused where to go from here. I want to solve this, it's obviously an arousal level thing, but I don't know how to solve it. I've tried the whole, think of things, but it's really difficult.

    I noticed a few of you on here can hold a kegel for 2 or so minutes, is that the level I want to be at? I got it up to 30secs or so. But I think if I cut out porn again, I'll be fine, but will it cure anything? Not sure if I should be mimicking the same arousal level and try and keep it down? Any ideas? Sorry for the longish post, figured it'd help

  • #2
    I don't know that much in regards to this but I'll still try and help.

    You need to be consistent with kegels, and it's not going to be an "overnight" kind of thing. Someone with more experience will be able to give you a better grasp for kegels and a routine. I've also seen people get stamina units from FleshLight (there are probably other brands as well), if you have some extra money you could possibly try that.

    Edging can also help (I think that's basically the idea of the stamina unit from FleshLight). Here's a link for ballooning (similar, but different than edging) Ballooning 101, by KingPole.

    Sorry if none of these help. Just trying to give you a few suggestions since there's no responses yet.
    Nothin2ItBut2DoIt
    Senior Member
    Last edited by Nothin2ItBut2DoIt; 03-10-2011, 03:01 PM.
    Nothin2ItBut2DoIt's Progress Log

    "The doctor told me I can't do any heavy lifting so I'm going to need someone to help me go to the bathroom or else I'm going to have to sit down to pee."

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    • #3
      yeah, I've tried edging but I'm just confused as I'm fine without the porn but I just tend to get WAAAAY too aroused when with a girl. Well maybe that's a lie, I'm fine mostly with handjobs and blowjobs, it's just when it comes to the actual sex. However, I'm not sure if this is with ALL girls, or just someone I have a connection with. I need to learn to manage it I suppose.

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