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ByggD's Guide to Controlling Your Ejaculation Response

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  • ByggD's Guide to Controlling Your Ejaculation Response

    Yeah, it is a long opening thread. "If I had time, I would have written a shorter letter." -Cicero

    There we were sitting on the couch. She looks over at me, moves closer, and leans in and gently kisses my lips. She climbs on top of me, slowly glides her arms behind my neck, kisses me again and bites my bottom lip. She looks into my eyes with that look that would make me say yes to anything and says, "Can I suck it." I get a cheeky grin on my face at her innocence and say, "Oh my god yes." She has never given a blowjob before and she is extatic to hear I want her. We make out and she starts to slide down my body, taking a detour at my earlobes, takes my shirt off, then works her way down on her knees. Kissing above my belt line she unbuckles my belt and sees my cock sticking out of my jeans. She teases around it, kissing and licking, then gently blows air on my cock. "Holy shit, you sure you have never given head before." A smile is her only response as she unbuttons my pants, pulls them down, gently grabs my dick in her petite hands. She wraps her mouth around my cock and...I cum. All over in a matter of seconds. That intense pleasure I felt in a second is soon over and I am feeling bad about myself. She looks at me, after swallowing, and smiles like she is on top of the world. She just made her first guy cum while I immediately start to think of how poorly I performed.

    That was me not too long ago. Now, it is quite different. I can last almost as long as I want in bed...still working on it though (some girls just have the right moves and thier eyes...holy moley am I attracted to women's eyes). I am still *practicing at becoming the kind of performer I want to be, but this process takes time. Don't get on the fast track here, this is a process that requires behavioral changes and possible lifestyle/nutritional changes.

    A quick note about the author: I studied various theories related to neurobiology and human behavior (training dogs to perform various tricks is a form of shaping, for example; teaching children to ride a bike is another form of shaping; guiding a student in algebra is another example) in college. Recently I began studying/practicing, in my spare time, Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP). NLP is essentially "programming" your mind to perceive the world more positively and to better understand your behavior. For more information, I encourage you to read through the link provided below (Link 1). What I am about to tell you may not sound like a whole lot of fun. You may say that you don't even want to try it because you think it is unfounded malarky. You may wish to get a quick fix like surgery or something else. Well, there is no decision in life that is without consequence (good or bad). For example, taking that next step has a consequence. You will either be one step closer to your destination or you might stub your toe on the sofa leg. So, let's get started with programming your mind to perform the behaviors that are most desirable (such as lasting longer in bed).

    Link 1: http://www.nlpinfo.com/intro/txintro.html
    Link 2: http://www2.hu-berlin.de/sexology/AT...e_respons.html

    Here are the 20 steps. These steps are AN EXTREMELY ABBREVIATED VERSION OF WHAT IS BELOW. After 3+ hours working on this I decided I should spend 30minutes making a simple version and put the recaps at the end of each week. This is one hell of an opening thread (greater than 5600 characters!). So, if you want more information, I encourage you to read the section which you are most confused about. I strongly encourage you to read up until the end of week one before posting a question or comment. Also note: You are going to come across several repetitive statements. This is because I want to be blatant as possible that those steps are crucial. I am not trying to bore you, but if you see something several times that means it is very important.

    Abbreviated version of what you see below.
    Week One
    1: Learn to rate your arousal, or sexual excitement
    2: Be one with your cock. Complete darkness and no auditory stimuli.
    3: Learn to stroke your cock and increase intensity ONLY WHEN YOU ARE READY.
    4: While stroking away, think of how GREAT it would be to last longer. Think of how CONFIDENT you will be during sex when you can last as long as you want. DO NOT think about the word ejaculate, orgasm, or anything related. If you are trying to bring excitement level down from a 9 to a 7 then tell yourself that. “Let’s get this down to an 8, 7 okay ready to go.” Think positive here.
    5: Masturbate at different positions (standing, sitting, laying down).
    6: Masturbate in successive increments (Day one: 3 minutes; Day two: 6 minutes; Day three: 10 minutes; day four : 15 minutes; Day five: 20 minutes; Day six: 25 minutes; Day seven: 30 minutes. This is what I suggest anyway. However, if you feel that this adds time too quickly then listen to your body and slow down. Each one of us is different here and my suggestion is only a guideline not a scientific assertion).
    7: Don’t let your arousal control you! Get control of your arousal.
    8: Enjoy the experience of being human. We are here to improve our sex lives. Let’s have some fun with this! We have a limitation. Let’s extend the boundary of our limits.
    9: Make a goal. How long do you want to last during sex? I think you can last as long as you want! You should think that too. My goal is to last at least 30minutes, but an hour or more would be great on some days (this should probably be step one but I am too lazy to change it).

    Week Two
    10: Reevalute your goal you made in week one. Do you want to last longer than you thought? Do you not want to go around thrusting or having a chick bounce on your cock for 30 minutes? Do this for you and your lover. Or, if you are like me and you don’t have a significant other then do this for you only.
    11: Become an expert at that scale. Know how to understand your arousal.
    12: Add auditory stimuli first. Days 8-13 you get to listen to women getting pleasure.
    13: Add visual stimuli second. On day 14 you get to start viewing pornographic photos. When you start looking at photos, don’t get carried away and look at several photos. Just look at 1-3 different photos per session and focus on each photo for at least 10 minutes. We are trying to control our urges here, not reinforce them.
    14: Keep yourself honest and maintain control. If you experience a step back then no need to dwell on it. Learn from it. I spent about three years of my life dwelling on it and I left behind countless opportunities to lay some pretty hot women. But, I was afraid of getting a bad reputation for a two pump chump so I abstained from sex. Don’t do that. Let’s get control now so we can start having some amazing sex.

    Week Three
    15: Add porn if you feel you are ready. If you are ready then start with five minutes of video and add to it as you please. Moderation is key. Also, make sure you start by getting your erection going yourself. We don’t want to rely on porn to get an erection. That wouldn’t be good for us. We don’t want to reprogram our mind to the point that we have ED. Or at least I don’t.
    16: If you are not ready then you can start watching porn fully clothed and when you do, pay attention to what the male porn star is doing. He will often reveal “tricks” that helps him last longer and you can utilize them. Also, you can take notes on what he is doing. I do and it helps a lot. If your significant other finds them then just say you are trying figure out how porn stars last so long because you want to please him/her more. If they say porn is disgusting, point out to them that studies indicate populations where porn is illegal have greater incidence of sexual related crimes. Evidence:
    http://www.slate.com/id/2152487/
    http://www.hawaii.edu/PCSS/biblio/ar...-abstract.html
    http://classic.the-scientist.com/2010/3/1/29/1/
    http://www.xbiz.com/news/118241

    Week 4:
    17: Get the rest of your body acclimated to sexual performance. Practice, my friend. On my knees works best for me when thrusting because I am working out my hamstrings and glutes more.
    18: This will take patience and dedication. I cannot tell you how long it will take you to last up to 30mins during sex. I do not know and I cannot know. Way too many things to consider.
    19: Watch porn whenever and for however long you want. I still think you should get yourself excited by yourself first. Then add porn.
    20: This is a learning experience and you have to understand that. This is not a scientifically founded program. I don’t have the funding to conduct research on it so I never will. This has helped me and a friend. If you want a quick route, then this is not for you. I strongly encourage you to evaluate yourself often. Ask yourself if you are being honest, accurate, and if you are setting reasonable goals. If you last less than two-seconds during sex then setting a goal for 2-hours in 30 days is not reasonable. Just be honest, have fun with this, and don’t worry so much. I started taking life less seriously recently. Why: Because I am not going to survive life anyway; I am much happier and having more fun compared to when I worried too much. Get to work on improving. And let us know how things are going.

    Week One:
    Goodbye Porn. “What! Blasphemy! I will kill someone if I don’t get my porn.” Okay, perhaps that is not exactly what you are thinking. However, you may be disappointed to know that you are going to stay away from porn for the entire week. This is all to help you last longer during sex. This isn’t torture; trust me. I am not a doctor, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn last night.

    Step One: Master Masturbation.
    How: Learn to rate your arousal level, not your erection level. We are talking about the psychological, not the physical. From this point forward you need to learn to understand your emotions (arousal in the sexual sense I am speaking is an emotion).

    This first week you need to “reprogram” your brain physiology. So, you need to be in complete darkness as close to complete silence as possible. If darkness isn’t an option then you should get a blindfold; if silence isn’t an option for you then invest in some ear plugs or some ear bud headphones. Why: reprogramming your mind starts with “rewriting” your previous brain physiology. Yes, your brain is much like a computer; a very complex computer. Scientist are currently, and successfully I might add, mapping out the human brain and I believe we will see a robot pass the Turing test by 2035 (investigate “human singularity” and Ray Kurzweil if you want some impressive information about humans and technology).

    How to master arousal:
    This is the scale I use:
    1: Not excited
    3: Damn! That chick on the treadmill is hot (no erection though)
    5: Noticeable erection (50-70%)
    7: 90-100% perceived erection, but arousal is still controllable (you can have sex/masturbate and not ejaculate).
    9: Intense feeling of pleasure and just about to…
    10: Orgasm.

    Understand this scale; learn it; become as familiar with it as possible because it is key. While you are masturbating you are going to routinely estimate your arousal level. As you are stroking, or thrusting away, you need to keep yourself at a level 7. You are erect, you are excited, you are happy about the entire experience at this point. This is the level you need to maintain for as long as possible. As you start to creep into the level 8 (which is moderately intense feeling) you need to literally tell yourself to get back to a level 7. You need to consciously understand what a level 7, 8, and 9 feel like. More on this a little bit.

    This is how you master masturbation. First, make sure you are in the dark and have silence and have lube (I like baby oil). I can’t stress strongly enough that you need lube. Your hand and your cock alone are not enough to simulate a woman’s mouth or vagina. Second, when you are masturbating don’t go crazy on your glans. Build up the intensity. Stroke your glans to you midshaft 3-5 times then go all the way to your base 1-2 times. Each stroke, regardless of distance, should take at the very least 2 seconds (don’t go pumping away at five strokes per second—this is the mistake I made when I first started because, damn it, it feels good). I know it feels good, but you are not here to *just make yourself feel good. You are here to increase your lasting power and to feel good and that will make you feel like a freaking champ in the sack. Wouldn’t you rather have a woman begging you to cum, and you being able to, rather than cumming too soon? You should do the 3-5 mid strokes and 1-2 full strokes for about three minutes. Then, if you feel like you are ready (YOU MUST BE ABSOLUTELY HONEST WITH YOURSELF HERE. You are not competing with anyone, not even yourself. You are simply improving yourself not competing. I am a competitive person it was tough for me to understand this, but you must force into your mind that you are improving, not competing), again, if you feel like you are ready you can increase the reps to 5-8 mid strokes, but keep 1-2 full strokes consistent. Why the full strokes: it gives your glans a bit of a break. 5-8 mid strokes should last about three minutes as well (we are up to six minutes here).

    What to do if you are not ready for the 5-8 mid strokes: Stop completely for about 30 seconds or so. At some point you will be able to just pull your dick away when you get to level 9, stop for a couple seconds, then start going again while you are at level 7? Does that image seem familiar? If you watch porn it should. Sometimes I watch porn only to understand with the guy is doing. How he is doing it and when. Sure, I don’t know what his conscious experience is (I don’t know if he is literally at a level 9 then he pulls out for a couples seconds, or switches positions). But, are you willing to bet against me that porn stars don’t understand their arousal better than the average man out there? Thought not.

    Reprogram your conscious experience. This is the part many people won't do. You need to do this though. If you are unwilling to do this then you will not see the results as quickly and you may not see the results at all. Your nervous system has been programmed to ejaculate quickly and you do not have control of it. It is time to get control of your behavior. You can do it if you work at it. While you are masturbating, without any auditory or visual stimulation during this first week, you also need to be thinking to yourself, "How *great would it be if I could last as long as I wanted." Imagine that, "You have complete control of your erection." Think to yourself, "I have the *confidence to perform as long as I want."

    You want to use positive words here. Your brain cannot function in opposites. For example, if I told you NOT to think about football, you are going to think about football. If I tell you NOT to think of a triangle, you are going to think of a triangle. If I tell you to NOT think about ejaculating, you are going to think of ejaculating. So, talk to yourself with positive words and emotions. The only time you should talk to yourself using "NOT" is if you are NOT having a *great day.

    Think of this, college students were brought into the neuroscience department to engage in a study about physical aggression. There were two groups. One group was told to think of physically punching someone in the face. Just to think of it. Another group was told to physically punch a human dummy in the face. Researcher saw the same brain regions light up at almost the same intensity in both groups. Basically this means your brain cannot identify the difference between the physical world and the mental world (this is also why movies/books are effective; even though we know they are actors/actresses and it isn't real we still get scared, teary-eyed, or nervous; it is just a fictitious mental world that our brain registers as a physical world). Thus, just thinking of performing a behavior elicits the same neurophysiological responses as actually performing the same behavior. Let's relate this to premature ejaculation. IF you tell yourself to NOT ejaculate your brain is going to register this stimulus and submit a response that intensifies the behavior. You will ejaculate. Now, if you tell yourself to lower your arousal level from a "9" to an "8" to a "7" then you will start to do that; provided that you have an understanding of your own arousal as well as the scale (LEARN THE DAMN SCALE). Note: you are not going to become a sex god overnight. Baby steps.

    Next, think of the position you want to perform better at (doggy style, cowgirl, missionary, pile driver, ect). This is the position you should be masturbating. Note: I perform at three positions (because I need to get better at all of them): 1: Standing up; 2: Siting down leaning back in a chair or siting down on the ground with my back against the wall and my legs flat on the ground—I do this because I stretch out my hamstrings too and I am trying to correct my posture from years of not so good posture; 3: Laying down on my back with my legs place at various angles and sometimes straight or bent. Why: You need to get your body familiar with different sexual positions. Do you think a WR in football only practices one route during practices and suddenly learns body control with other routes? No: You need to practice.

    This is the not so fun part. You are only going to orgasm every three days (or only once a week; up to you—it has been 10 days since I last ejaculated)! Why? You have already programmed your nervous system to ejaculate. During this first week you are "rebooting" that system and training your brain to respond differently to stimulation. Think of how long you want to last in bed. Is it 15 minutes? 20 minutes? 3 weeks straight? Whatever it is you need to build up to that point. Baby steps my friend, baby steps. I started at 15 minutes on day one, 20 on day two, 25 day three, etc. Yesterday I masturbated for two and a half hours and still didn't blow my load (I could have many times but because I have trained my body to have control over it, I just chose not to).
    *********************
    Addendum: (You can see the entire post on page 8 of this thread)

    I have receive a couple of messages from individuals who using fleshlights. Here is my suggestion (this can also be utilized for anyone who wishes to do this--even for those who do not have fleshlights):

    Instead of increasing your duration of masturbation each day, you should focus on simply increasing duration over a longer stretch of time. What I mean is, perhaps it is better to increase the amount of time you are masturbating every five days rather than every day. This makes sense as you are creating "mini goals" and you will only increase time spent masturbating after you have passed the goal. The following guideline is to illustrate what I am talking about:

    Days 1-5 work on consistently lasting 5 minutes
    Days 6-10 work on consistently lasting 10 minutes
    Days 11-15 work on consistently lasting 15 minutes
    Days 16-20 work on consistently lasting 20 minutes
    Etcetera

    Basically you could be lasting up to 30 minutes in 30 days. That sounds like one hell of a deal to me.
    *************************
    How do I know this is likely to work? Well, when you first learned to drive a car you had to consciously think of putting your foot on the break, putting your vehicle in "Drive," slowly releasing the break then gently touching the gas. You had to think of whether up on the turn signal was to signal a left turn or a right turn. And so on. After you are done with this controlling your ejaculation could be as easy as driving a car; you may not need to consciously think of these things in the future and you may be having sex with that special women for forty minutes before you realize that it has been such a long “drive.”

    Last note. If you should decide not control your ejaculation and you cum then you must forget that day even happened and backtrack. For example, if you at on day three and you masturbate for 10 minutes and then say, “It feels so freaking good. Ah, to hell with it,” and you ejaculate you are only reinforces your body’s urges to ejaculate. Stop doing that. We are trying to get control of our arousal not let our arousal control us. C’mon now. So, if you did that on day three, then you must pretend that day three starts again tomorrow. I strongly encourage you to resist every temptation of ejaculating. Resist the urge as is, “Okay, let’s bring this back down to a seven.” Not, “I feel like I am going to *ejaculate (blow my load, cum, ect).” Let’s get control of our arousal.

    Here is a recap:
    1: Learn to rate your arousal, or sexual excitement
    2: Be one with your cock. Complete darkness and no auditory stimuli.
    3: Learn to stroke your cock and increase intensity ONLY WHEN YOU ARE READY.
    4: While stroking away, think of how GREAT it would be to last longer. Think of how CONFIDENT you will be during sex when you can last as long as you want. DO NOT think about the word ejaculate, orgasm, or anything else. If you are trying to bring excitement level down from a 9 to a 7 then tell yourself that. “Let’s get this down to an 8, 7 okay ready to go.” Think positive here.
    5: Masturbate at different positions (standing, sitting, laying down).
    6: Masterbate in successive increments (Day one: 3 minutes; Day two: 6 minutes; Day three: 10 minutes; day four : 15 minutes; Day five: 20 minutes; Day six: 25 minutes; Day seven: 30 minutes. This is what I suggest anyway. However, if you feel that this adds time to quickly then listen to your body and slow down. Each one of us is different here).
    7: Don’t let your arousal control you! Get control of your arousal.
    8: Enjoy the experience of being human. We are here to improve our sex lives. Let’s have some fun with this! We have a limitation. Let’s extend the boundary of our limits.
    9: Make a goal. How long do you want to last during sex? I think you can last as long as you want! You should think that too. My goal is to last at least 30minutes, but an hour or more would be great on some days.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Week Two (days 8-14):
    So, you have been stroking away, you understand the scale quite well now, but you are not a pro yet. So, LEARN THAT SCALE. Great news here, you don’t have to cut yourself completely off from the senses; you get to add auditory stimuli to your routine! Yay!! You are also going to add some visual stimuli too! Oh my freaking god! It has been a week since you have seen a picture of a naked woman and your eyes are getting pissed at you. Okay, that is how I felt anyway. So, let’s get to it. FYI, if you have a special someone then you need to talk to them about PreE. You need to ask them for their help. Tell them you want to please them more and that you two should work in tandem. If you do not do this, premature ejaculation may always be a problem. I am not trying to be mean with that last statement, it is the truth.

    You are going to do the same thing as week one, but you are going to add some things. You need to add auditory stimuli first. So, keep that darkness. Don’t worry, it is only six more days. But, now you get to listen to porn. I know it isn’t as fun as watching, but we will get there. So, for the next four days you get to listen to porn. If listening isn’t an option for you then I encourage you to keep the exact same routine as week one (absolutely no auditory or visual stimuli). Adding auditory stimuli first is very important but I don’t know how important. Successive steps, my friend.

    On day 14 you get to look at pornography photos. Not videos though. Don’t get too excited here. We are talking baby steps. So, for days 8-13 you get listen to porn and on day 14 you get to start looking pornographic photos. Quick note: When you are looking at photos don’t go quickly through photos. Control your behavior. This is all about control here. So, chose a single photo and stick with it for at least 10 minutes. After that, you can look at another photo (I went from a cowgirl position photo to a blowjob photo; that worked for me—my two favorites).

    As you are going through this process some days it may seem like you feel like cumming sooner than the day before. I understand completely. But, control your guy and you will be happier in the long run. If you are at say, day 10 and you feel like cumming within a few minutes then stop completely until your erection goes away. You are essentially punishing your penis for wanting to cum to soon. Then, when your penis is flaccid, get the guy up again and go at it. Don’t fall into the temptation to ejaculate quickly though. Control your behavior.

    Recap:
    10: Reevalute your goal you made in week one. Do you want to last longer than you thought? Do you not want to go around thrusting or having a chick bounce on your cock for 30 minutes? Do this for you and your lover. Or, if you are like me and you don’t have a significant other then do this for you only.
    11: Become an expert at that scale. Know how to understand your arousal.
    12: Add auditory stimuli first. Days 8-13 you get to listen to women getting pounded.
    13: Add visual stimuli second. On day 14 you get to start viewing pornographic photos. When start looking at photos, don’t get carried away and look at several photos. Just look at 1-3 different photos per session and focus on each photo for at least 10 minutes. We are trying to control our urges here, not reinforce them.
    14: Keep yourself honest and maintain control. If you experience a step back then no need to dwell on it. Learn from it. I spent about three years of my life dwelling on it and I left behind countless opportunities to lay some pretty hot women. But, I was afraid of getting a bad reputation for a two pump chump so I abstained from sex. Don’t do that. Let’s get control now so we can start having some amazing sex.
    --------------------------------
    Week three (days 15-21)
    No needed explanations anymore (I hope). You get to add pornographic videos to your routine. Be honest with yourself though. Are you actually ready for the porn videos or do you just want to watch some porn. If the latter is true then you can start watching porn again. Just don’t masturbate. Do it fully clothed. Seriously, it is good for you mind. You can also start watching porn stars and monitor their behavior. You can see when they slow down, they look up, and I imagine they do as I do which is say, “9…8…7” as I bring my arousal down and then I can start pumping faster. Sometimes they pull out completely then insert, pull out, insert. Anyway, you get to see some tricks if you look at porn that way. It will also help you when you are having sex. Social Learning Theory asserts that humans engage is similar behaviors as the witness (or learning by seeing then doing). So, all you need to do is understand what the porn stars are doing and maybe you too could perform that long.

    If you do add porn then watch maybe five minutes to begin with. Don’t go overboard. Control your behavior. Also, you don’t want to add the porno at the beginning. We want to be able to control our erection and arousal. So, get to practicing then after 10 minutes you can bring porn into the equation.

    Recap:
    15: Add porn if you feel you are ready. If you are ready then start with a five minutes of video and add to it as you please. Moderation is key. Also, make sure you start by getting your erection going yourself. We don’t want to rely on porn to get an erection. That wouldn’t be good for us. We don’t want to reprogram our mind to the point that we have ED. Or at least I don’t.
    16: If you are not ready then you can start watching porn fully clothed and when you do, pay attention to what the male porn star is doing. He will often reveal “tricks” that helps him last longer and you can utilize them. Also, you can take notes on what he is doing. I do and it helps a lot. If your significant other finds them then just say you are trying figure out how porn stars last so long because you want to please him/her more. If they say porn is disgusting, point out to them that studies indicate populations where porn is illegal have greater incidence of sexual related crimes. Evidence:
    http://www.slate.com/id/2152487/
    http://www.hawaii.edu/PCSS/biblio/ar...-abstract.html
    http://classic.the-scientist.com/2010/3/1/29/1/
    http://www.xbiz.com/news/118241
    ----------------------------------
    Week four (days 22-28)
    This is when you should start getting the rest of your body in action. Everything else I previously mentioned still stands. But, now you should start thrusting yourself. Don’t use your hand so much and start getting the rest of your muscles involved. I find it best to masturbate when on my knees. It seems as though I contract my gluets more which cause greater tension on my PC musles and, of course, my hamstrings. So, get a pillow, put in on the ground, and get your knees at a comfortable position and start thrusting. At this point, you should understand you penis, erection, and arousal far better than day one. You are still not an expert and neither am I. Just start practicing and eventually your muscles will get used to all of this muscle contraction.

    As you are thrusting if you notice some intense pleasure immediately then stop completely until your erection goes away. And start again. You should be able to figure things out now rather than listen to me go through all the steps. If that isn’t the case the you can certainly post messages here and those who understand will help. If you need clarification anywhere then just let me know.

    You can now watch porn whenever for however long you want. Just be honest with yourself. If you are feeling pretty horny one day then don’t watch porn and just practice. Also, I cannot explain how long it will take you to reach your goals. I don’t know and I cannot know. There are so many variables involved that I couldn’t possible know. I don’t even know why some days I just get an erection out of nowhere. Not even thinking sexual thoughts, my dick is just happy, and I am happy too. I don’t know why some days feel like I can blow my load within seconds. I have a theory on it, but I just spent two hours rewriting, editing, a post this thread (which is 7 pages long in Microsoft Word!). So, I will talk about my theory later if people are interested. I am going to go eat, then come back and post my first month gains. I am pretty freaking happy right about now. But, very hungry.

    Recap:
    17: Get the rest of your body acclimated to sexual performance. Practice, my friend. On my knees works best for me when thrusting because I am working out my hamstrings and glutes more.
    18: This will take patience and dedication. I cannot tell you how long it will take you to last up to 30mins during sex. I do not know and I cannot know. Way too many things to consider.
    19: Watch porn whenever and for however long you want. I still think you should get yourself excited by yourself first. Then add porn.
    20: This is a learning experience and you have to understand that. This is not a scientifically founded program. I don’t have the funding to conduct research on it so I never will. This has helped me and a friend. If you want a quick route, then this is not for you. I strongly encourage you to evaluate yourself often. Ask yourself if you are being honest, accurate, and if you are setting reasonable goals. If you last less than two-seconds during sex then setting a goal for 2-hours in 30 days is not reasonable. Just be honest, have fun with this, and don’t worry so much. I started taking life less seriously recently. Why: Because I am not going to survive life anyway; I am much happier and having more fun compared to when I worried too much. Get to work on improving. And let us know how things are going.
    Last edited by ByggD; 08-10-2011, 01:49 PM.

  • #2
    It seems that we have came to similar conclusions for different angles.

    Points

    - Edging with no distractions of any kind
    - Observation
    - Ejaculating every 3 days in order to retrain and to get used to the feeling of being aroused (I used this in the beginning allot and was very beneficial)
    - Giving scale for your erection and arousal
    - Reflex and Habit

    If you are interested in more you can visit the link in my signature where I have logged my experience following similar points. (do note that most of the post are long )

    One of my basic resources for this where
    - Barbara Keesling - How to make love all night
    - Mantak chia - The Multi-Orgasmic Man

    While the from the chia's book i used just some of the things a book from Barbara Keesling was useful in its entirety so it is a very very recommended read, as with thins forum I was very glad that i was able to find that book.
    premE FAQ

    Comment


    • #3
      Amazing post! I am so glad I've already been doing pretty much all of what you mentioned here. Its seems like I'm on the right track!!! ;0) I've gone from 2 minutes to and hour and 15 minutes masturbating using these techniques. The only things I see missing here are reverse kegels, ballooning and proper breathing. Sorry if I missed anything. Can't wait for your next post....
      Started MAY 2011 BPEL 5 and a 1/2 inches. EG 5 and a 1/2 inches.
      Now MAY 2012 BPEL 6 and a 1/2 inches. EG 5 and a 1/2 inches.
      I have cured myself of prem ejac, now I am working on a bigger shlong.

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      • #4
        ByggD,

        Nice post! And just the beginning of the story which leaves me wondering what will come next (bad pun!). Today I have officially been on PEGym for a week and I've been all over this particular subject (Pre. Ejac.). Your post puts me into a reality check. Learn to walk before you try running. Just as in Barbara Keesling's book (Thanks, Minuteman!); you have to be able to clearly recognize your arousal level and learn to stay at that plateau comfortabley before you move on to more intermediate and advanced practices. Thanks for the reminder and sharing.

        Minuteman, your posts have been an inspiration. My log is coming along (another bad pun!).

        JamesMonroe, thanks for your support and insights. Your contributions are always creative.

        I'm off to vacationland, see you all next week!

        OldRocker

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        • #5
          One more thing. Your approach is from the proper attitude; focus on what you want (Long, fun, gratifying happy sex) rather than what you don't want (premature ejaculation). Your mind will follow your focus. "Whatever the mind can concieve and believe it can achieve". A quote from somewhere I don't recall (Henry Ford or Napolean Hill?).

          I recommend putting subliminal affirmations, meditation and self hypnosis into the toolbox.

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          • #6
            Great post ByggD. This is what it's all about as far as I can tell. All the kegelling and edging exercises help towards this goal of controlling your response. Those little signals from the brain are what cause us to tighten up and ejaculate and we have to learn how to control them and turn them off. Look forward to trying your program.

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            • #7
              Great post - nice to see someone applying NLP in this area. I'm sure it would be helpful in PE too.

              I've gone from having a premature ejac problem to lasting long enough for my girlfriend. Still want to master the MMO equation but haven't yet. The only thing I have trouble with now is fucking my girl hard and deep. For some reason this makes me cum much faster.

              Unless she uses her hand I never give it up for a blow job anymore cause I don't want to.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Minuteman View Post
                It seems that we have came to similar conclusions for different angles.

                Points

                - Edging with no distractions of any kind
                - Observation
                - Ejaculating every 3 days in order to retrain and to get used to the feeling of being aroused (I used this in the beginning allot and was very beneficial)
                - Giving scale for your erection and arousal
                - Reflex and Habit

                If you are interested in more you can visit the link in my signature where I have logged my experience following similar points. (do note that most of the post are long )

                One of my basic resources for this where
                - Barbara Keesling - How to make love all night
                - Mantak chia - The Multi-Orgasmic Man

                While the from the chia's book i used just some of the things a book from Barbara Keesling was useful in its entirety so it is a very very recommended read, as with thins forum I was very glad that i was able to find that book.
                Thanks for the comment, Minuteman. I appreciate your response and contribution to the thread; same with the others that have responded (A big thank you for your contribution!). It appears, I need to spend more time in the Sexuality Section at my local Barnes and Noble. I haven't read any books about the subject. I have just been applying various techniques I have learned in my psychology courses, research projects, and jobs. We have limits and not "problems" because this is an area that we can extend past our current mental boundaries.

                I should also note that I have a friend that has done some of the things I mentioned. He previously lasted 2-3minutes during sex and now he can last up to three hours! Yeah, he always has lube on hand for the ladies and I can tell you that girls seem to "love" him more now compared to when he didn't last long. Most women now get full body orgasms and he has to put his arms to their side so they don't shake off the bed (I know this is true because I have heard them in the bedroom before). Yeah, think of doing that to your woman. Making her orgasm so much that she cannot control her body and her nervous system starts to shake from intense pleasure. Yep, he went from not being able to make a woman orgasm at all from penetration to being able to give ALMOST EVERY WOMAN multiple full body orgasms. Most women said they had never had a full body orgasm before him. I CANNOT WAIT UNTIL I CAN PLEASE A WOMAN THAT MUCH!! He hasn't changed much of his other behaviors (he is still the same guy, mostly), but he is a freaking god in bed and girls go wild for it and seem to stick around and put up with him more (by the way he also has pimples on his face, back, and a few on his chest).

                I don't have time to add to my thread yet. However, after I get the next section up you will see that I am going to suggest people move from the complete lack of auditory and visual stimulation to successive addition of more stimuli. This is where the actual shaping (I said "modeling" before, it is actually "shaping") of behavior comes into play and the complete reprogramming of your sexual behaviors get the updated version. I know, I left you guys something to look forward to; shame on me, right?
                Last edited by ByggD; 07-01-2011, 02:55 PM.

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                • #9
                  Anxiously awaiting the next parts haha

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                  • #10
                    I am very excited to see this! I learned some stuff from this haha.
                    Arousal Techniques-Techniques to overcome Pre-E.

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                    • #11
                      When you say rate from 1-10 and would want 7 as the level to be at.. does that mean not a full erection while masturbating? Or just conditioning it so it feels less intense.

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                      • #12
                        A hard erection, but not a 'throbbing' erection if you get what I mean. You're stiff, but you're not massively excited.

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                        • #13
                          Sounds great! I will follow this plan and hopefully see some results. One question, once i feel my arousal begin to rise from a 7 to an 8, should I reverse kegel, as well as stop stimulation? This may help relax the tense PC muscle and prevent involuntary kegel spasms.

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                          • #14
                            I love this. Bump!
                            The Dick is the Best Toy Ever!

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                            • #15
                              This is great stuff! I haven't been on the forum in a long time and there's so much more awesome info out now! I'm pretty much suffering from PE (i'm 21 and have a new gf lol) so I'd like to overCOME this problem and I feel your advice will do wonders for me, along with the advice from other members of the forum. I will begin putting this to practice TODAY.

                              I'll be waiting for the other parts

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