Arousal Techniques

[Insomnia]

Got linked here by a nice fellow on the forum. I'll definitely start to follow these steps! I stopped all porn like 6 months back, so there's no problem for me to masturbate without any stimuli.

[X Black]

Thank you Drummer for this amazing thread!

[mwiener]

That was a long read, but worth it.

[FrenchD]

Hey everybody,
I guess to explain the situation, I should start from where all problems start... the beginning. I started masturbating at a very young age (before I could even cum). I remember the cumming sensation and wonder why nothing would come out. After some time, I hit puberty and the ejaculation came with it. At this point in my life, I was jerkin it every night before I went to bed. It got to a point (very quickly) where I couldn't fall asleep without cumming first. This wasn't really a problem at the time because I was still a virgin and had no understanding of what real sex was really like.

As life moved on and had girlfriends, I continued to masturbate every day and I mean every single day. Often, it would be more than once. These "sessions" were always rushed and with the single objective of finishing. From what I can understand, this is where my problem starts. I can remember, with my first real girlfriend (not the first time), that the sex was short (around 2 minutes) and never satisfied her. This was when I realized that I had a problem.

Years later and several girlfriends past, I was still in the same boat. Masturbating every night before bed and not being able to sexually satisfy the women that I was with. It got to a point (and still is) where I don't want to have sex because I know what the outcome will be... me finishing to soon and her staring at me wondering what just happened.

About 5 months ago, I decided that enough is enough and I'm going to master my PE. Thats when I found PEGym and started reading up on anything that I could find. The two most notable articles are:

ByggD's Guide to Controlling Your Ejaculation Response
and this article by Drummer19

So here I am today. I still have the same problem but now I can identify the main causes and that's where I'd love to hear your advice.

Step 1) I have stopped jerkin it before I go to sleep. I realized (thanks to ByggD's article) that it was extremely counter productive and that was where I needed to start. Since then, I have had several sexual encounters and still have PE but at least I'm moving forward.
Step 2) Controlled masterbating. I focus on what I am feeling and no longer jerk it just to finish. I try and appreciate the experience and make it last as long as possible.
Step 3) Arousal control and this is where it gets tricky. Thanks to Drummer19, I have identified my causes of over arousal and am trying to overcome them.

I personally have an extreme sensitivity to the sound of a women getting pleasure. It took me a long time to identify the cause of my PE but now (thanks to Drummer) I know. When I have sex, my goal is to please her (I think because I have had problems with it in the past) and when she starts moaning, my arousal peaks almost immediately and I go from a 7 to a 10 in less than a second. For example I can masturbate for a while, while using ByggD's techniques, and concentrate on how my body is reacting, but the second that I introduce audio (from porn) my arousal level gets out of control. As you can imagine, this has the same effect during sex. I can last, and appreciate the experience, but as soon as she starts to get into it (around the 2 minute mark) I blow.

No matter how hard I try, as soon as I hear her pleasure, I know that I'm not far behind. I was wondering if anyone else could relate, and if so, how can I overcome this? I've tried masturbating with audio but it always ends uncontrolled. Unfortunately, the only way that I can have good sex is if I'm drunk.

[Drummer19]

FrenchD,
I have had similar background as yourself. I also had a strong arousal reaction to audio. ByggD's program helped with that, however, his program wasn't my full solution. As you can see I include his thread inside of this program. That should help you a good bit with solo edging. By the end of the arousal techniques program you should have a better arousal reaction.

Your steps sound pretty accurate. Overtime you will add to this, just start small.


Everyone, thanks for the kind words!

[beatpe]

I would just want to say thank you to anyone who has contributed to this thread! I read through a bunch of pages and I've came to the conclusion that the majority of my PE problems have came from my extreme arousal in sexual situations. I really need to work on my breathing and relaxing my muscles. I get really tense and have tended to hold my breath once I got down to business which obviously leads to me bursting in t-minus 30 seconds.

I have my ways to go, but this thread has realllllly helped me in pinpointed my downfalls and lead me in the direction to fixing them.

[Drummer19]

Awesome! Good to hear, now practice!

[geordie4life]

Does anyone have a link to anyones progress thread, where they have recorded themselves performing this routine?

[hoochiNn]

I have a big question / dilemma:


In some daily activities such as sport or play console, frequently I realize that my legs tense, the muscles of the face, breathing rate ... all of them true arousal symptoms.


My question is: should stop doing these practices in order to gain control? (...)

[Pursuit]

This is one great post i should say!!
And it's greater to find that i do that myself!! I know i don't suffer from involuntarily kegels anymore, unless when my inner clothes touch the frenulum even in a low erection. I'm over-aroused, i know it, i've always tried to have an erection once i tap Enter on porn and always managed to have one! Even more, i started edging for about a week now, all i have realized so far that if i can control my mind i WILL get rid of that premE problem for good!

This post lightened me up, i was frustrated because last night i looked at some porn pics and felt crazy and horny in no time. Now i understand that it should take time to control those arousal levels and plus it may be hard for many guys who never looked at porn in their lives to control their arousal because of the "new experience".

I think i'm aware of my arousal levels and can split it from the erection levels, i can go erect for no reason and can feel aroused with a very soft penis. The good thing here is that although i can start from the Basic steps right away, i have already started it this week, i go edging with breathing and no fantasies, also with a slow movement, sometime very slow, but it works, really!!
The awesome thing in this post is, i read what i already do before i read anything, if that tells anything it should say i read my vital signs out of my body very well! Like the "Snap out of it" i already figured that if i talk to myself and let myself hear my voice talking in any other thing except sex i can get over my arousal level, that whole point is to find a distraction tool, once i'm distracted and eased i can go slowly focusing again but not too much focus as it will get me to ponr real quick!

Now i should be able to keep this routine for 3 more weeks to master it, then move on to the next step. I have to develop more breathing techniques and practices along with starting ballooning.

Thank you Drummer!