How much should we be having sex?

[rffspinz Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close rffspinz]

Hey guys and gals,

So if any of you have read any of my previous posts, you know I'm in a very long term relationship (10 years) and have struggled with Pre-E during most of it. I'm doing a lot of work with a sexologist, and a lot of self work (edging, RK's, regular kegals, breathing exercises), however intimacy with my better half is here and there lately, some due to the fact that we're both a bit nervous starting all over again (we have gone long periods of time without having sex due to my lack of performance and the tension it has caused as I have let it go on a long time)

My question to is this: Is it normal that I come really fast after we haven't been intimate in a few weeks? Can I make any progress if we only have sex once or twice a week? I don't want to force the issue, but I feel like nothing is going to progress unless we can at least do 3-5 times a week. Am I crazy? Am I asking too much?

Please give honest opinions, as I need some please.

As an aside - please know that my GF and I are VERY much still in love. I'm not delusional thinking this either - we have a very strong bond, are each others best friends, and lately have actually been falling in love with each other all over again. Don't haze me for sounding corny guys ;-)

[nugentmcn Member Find all posts View Profile Close nugentmcn]

Yes rffspinz it is absolutely normal to cum quick after not having your penis in a vagina for a few weeks and you can absolutely improve your sexual lasting time with sex only 1-2 times a week, however, the progress will be gradual because you will only get to practice sex that often. What I strongly suggest to speed up the process is....Buy a FLESHLIGHT! I have several and they feel so real its unbelievable. This way you can practice when away from your GF. I have made huge improvements with my P.E. using a fleshlight. I do Kegels,RK, and edging too and these help your penis become less sensitive and increase stamina but theses exercises don't do much to train your pelvic floor muscles to relax during actual fucking, so you need to Buy a fleshlight and you can practice many different sexual positions at your own pace and patience to train your weener to stay hard for long time and the rest of your mind/body relaxed while pumping away! Welcome to the GYm!

[rffspinz Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close rffspinz]

Yes rffspinz it is absolutely normal to cum quick after not having your penis in a vagina for a few weeks and you can absolutely improve your sexual lasting time with sex only 1-2 times a week, however, the progress will be gradual because you will only get to practice sex that often. What I strongly suggest to speed up the process is....Buy a FLESHLIGHT! I have several and they feel so real its unbelievable. This way you can practice when away from your GF. I have made huge improvements with my P.E. using a fleshlight. I do Kegels,RK, and edging too and these help your penis become less sensitive and increase stamina but theses exercises don't do much to train your pelvic floor muscles to relax during actual fucking, so you need to Buy a fleshlight and you can practice many different sexual positions at your own pace and patience to train your weener to stay hard for long time and the rest of your mind/body relaxed while pumping away! Welcome to the GYm!

Hey nugentmcn - thanks for answering my post.

I actually have a fleshlight, and surprisingly do very well with it - lol. For instance this evening I went for 38 mins with the fleshlight with some doggy style thrusting and some upright thrusting as well. I have a liberator fleshlight holder so I am able to replicate sexual positions well. I just have a real issue when I'm with my GF. I really have to work on my arousal with her. I was with her last night and it lasted just a couple of minutes.

However I think I had a Eureka moment today in that she's been the one on top as I've gone by standard wisdom that this is the best position for pre-e sufferers, however I am discovering it's not so great as I don't really have any control in that position. So going forward I think I will forgo that position for the start of our sessions, and either start doggy, or missionary. That way I can have full control.

[Livin Life Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Livin Life]

Hey nugentmcn - thanks for answering my post.

I actually have a fleshlight, and surprisingly do very well with it - lol. For instance this evening I went for 38 mins with the fleshlight with some doggy style thrusting and some upright thrusting as well. I have a liberator fleshlight holder so I am able to replicate sexual positions well. I just have a real issue when I'm with my GF. I really have to work on my arousal with her. I was with her last night and it lasted just a couple of minutes.

However I think I had a Eureka moment today in that she's been the one on top as I've gone by standard wisdom that this is the best position for pre-e sufferers, however I am discovering it's not so great as I don't really have any control in that position. So going forward I think I will forgo that position for the start of our sessions, and either start doggy, or missionary. That way I can have full control.

Definitely take control of the situation so you can slow up the pace when you need to, and when you are feeling like you are going to cum in the next 10 seconds slow down and start thinking about something else for instance you can count from 100 backwards until you have control and then get back to business.

[rffspinz Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close rffspinz]

Ok, thanks for the input to those who have - I appreciate the feedback. Truth be told, I would rather practice more, but right now my confidence is pretty low in this area, so I don't really feel like I can initiate much. I feel like if I get her excited and then can't follow through with satisfying her, then I'm kind of failing, and then I feel shitty. Kind of a Catch 22 situation....

[JamesMonroe Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close JamesMonroe]

Ok, thanks for the input to those who have - I appreciate the feedback. Truth be told, I would rather practice more, but right now my confidence is pretty low in this area, so I don't really feel like I can initiate much. I feel like if I get her excited and then can't follow through with satisfying her, then I'm kind of failing, and then I feel shitty. Kind of a Catch 22 situation....

I suggest using the fleshilight often and ejaculating 2-3 times per session. You will last longer each time and train your body/mind to repeat those new longer lasting times. Also have some edging sessions once in a while where you don't ejaculate at the end.
I also suggest getting rid or regular kegels for a while, get really good at reverse kegels and NEVER masturbate/edge to porn. Trust me.

[CUSP82 Administrator Admin of the Month Dec 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CUSP82]

How about cutting off your head. No not that one the one that sits on your shoulders. So you have a bit of pe at times so what's the big deal? You think you're the only one that does? How about just making love to the woman that you care for. If your best friend isn't working right or if he has a quick trigger just forget about it and do other things to please your woman. You do know that women can get much pleasure from other parts of your body if you just use them; you know tongues, fingers, etc. The more you realize that you can satisfy her in a myriad of ways the less pressure you'll put on yourself and the better everything will work.

[rffspinz Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close rffspinz]

How about cutting off your head. No not that one the one that sits on your shoulders. So you have a bit of pe at times so what's the big deal? You think you're the only one that does? How about just making love to the woman that you care for. If your best friend isn't working right or if he has a quick trigger just forget about it and do other things to please your woman. You do know that women can get much pleasure from other parts of your body if you just use them; you know tongues, fingers, etc. The more you realize that you can satisfy her in a myriad of ways the less pressure you'll put on yourself and the better everything will work.

We've been doing this for 10 years - trust me I'm a master at everything else other than penetration - I can say that because she has told me that numerous times. However there comes a time where that just isn't enough, and understandably so. My GF is capable of having vaginal orgasms, and good ones at that. I want to be able to give these to her regularly. The question I asked was based on the frequency of penetration, and the answers given were pretty solid - thanks to everyone.

I also spoke to my therapist yesterday who told me that for the progress that I want to hit, we MUST increase the frequency to at least twice a week. If we stay at this once every 3 weeks, progress will be extremely slow, if not at all. I do alot of work on my own, but the elephant in the room is actual sexual intercourse with my GF

[Stamina Man Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Stamina Man]

We've been doing this for 10 years - trust me I'm a master at everything else other than penetration - I can say that because she has told me that numerous times. However there comes a time where that just isn't enough, and understandably so. My GF is capable of having vaginal orgasms, and good ones at that. I want to be able to give these to her regularly. The question I asked was based on the frequency of penetration, and the answers given were pretty solid - thanks to everyone.

I also spoke to my therapist yesterday who told me that for the progress that I want to hit, we MUST increase the frequency to at least twice a week. If we stay at this once every 3 weeks, progress will be extremely slow, if not at all. I do alot of work on my own, but the elephant in the room is actual sexual intercourse with my GF

I think your problem is psychological. What are you doing to control anxiety and arousal levels?

[hawkua Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close hawkua]

We've been doing this for 10 years - trust me I'm a master at everything else other than penetration - I can say that because she has told me that numerous times. However there comes a time where that just isn't enough, and understandably so. My GF is capable of having vaginal orgasms, and good ones at that. I want to be able to give these to her regularly. The question I asked was based on the frequency of penetration, and the answers given were pretty solid - thanks to everyone.

I also spoke to my therapist yesterday who told me that for the progress that I want to hit, we MUST increase the frequency to at least twice a week. If we stay at this once every 3 weeks, progress will be extremely slow, if not at all. I do alot of work on my own, but the elephant in the room is actual sexual intercourse with my GF

Oh gosh this is to quirky and technical for me

[rffspinz Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close rffspinz]

I think your problem is psychological. What are you doing to control anxiety and arousal levels?

I believe so as well. It's kind of like a Catch 22 situation that I am in right now. If I don't have sex more often, than I'm going to have a hard time relaxing when it's time to happen. I think in the back of my mind that I must do well, because it may not happen for another couple of weeks or so. In doing so, I put stress on myself during the act, and I end up blowing my load due to stress, and anxiety.

However the flip-side to that (as I mentioned above), is that I feel if I'm the initiator, and I don't satisfy my partner, then I leave her wanting, and then I get down on myself for lack of performance.

Oh gosh this is to quirky and technical for me

I'm not sure what you mean by technical and quirky? Could you explain, because my GF does say that she wants things to happen organically and naturally, so the last thing I want is to be technical. Is that what you are getting towards?

[CUSP82 Administrator Admin of the Month Dec 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CUSP82]

Like I said before; you have to control it. There is nothing physically wrong. You have to believe that you can do it and if you fail try again and again and again. Believe in yourself and it will help you out in the bedroom and life as well.Hey do you have any extra cookies? I'm hungry!

[snuffy Member Find all posts View Profile Close snuffy]

Yeah, her on top is not a good position for a guy suffering from PE. Missionary is good. I will enter my GF, and go until I feel the urge that I am close to cum, and than I pull out and go down on her until I can bring my excitement level down. Than I am ready for more sex. This allows her to stay super excited, and me the chance to last longer.