THE AROUSAL SCALE (and a Way of thinking about it)

[hoochiNn]

When we say "loosing attention" we are loosing attention on what? Body, control arousal symptoms, etc.?

[alexaustin]

Dummer19, I see what you're saying in regards to the relation of arousal to EQ, but how are you supposed to have sex and maintain an erection if you're trying to lower you're arousal, thereby decreasing the strength of your erection. I don't think it's as simple as you're making it out to be, unless I'm missing something. This would imply trying to have sex with a semi-hard penis. Am I incorrect?

[alexaustin]

Bump.

[Drummer19]

Dummer19, I see what you're saying in regards to the relation of arousal to EQ, but how are you supposed to have sex and maintain an erection if you're trying to lower you're arousal, thereby decreasing the strength of your erection. I don't think it's as simple as you're making it out to be, unless I'm missing something. This would imply trying to have sex with a semi-hard penis. Am I incorrect?

I am saying that with a steady arousal, you can maintain a steady erection. You cannot fully control your mind, so whenever you train yourself to lower your arousal you shouldn't have to think about it so much. You more or less naturally can just maintain your erection through arousal control. It is a pretty simple concept.
Maybe you can explain further what you are confused about?

[alexaustin]

I am saying that with a steady arousal, you can maintain a steady erection. You cannot fully control your mind, so whenever you train yourself to lower your arousal you shouldn't have to think about it so much. You more or less naturally can just maintain your erection through arousal control. It is a pretty simple concept.
Maybe you can explain further what you are confused about?

Gotcha. It made more sense to me when I re-read your original post just now. All you're saying is that you can lower/control your arousal enough to maintain a steady enough erection to have sex. I think I was just confused about, 'well if I lower my arousal, how can I keep an erection?' Now I think it's more about maintaining a proper equilibrium between the two to help prolong sexual endurance.

[nemi]

My observations about arousal and erections from about 4 days of monitoring my body:

1. The heart-rate: My heartbeat increases tremendously and I'm not able to keep it down. How do I work on this?

2. Erection: It does sound rather obvious, but it's harder to get erect if you don't touch yourself. I've not gone beyond a 2 on the erection scale in the past 4 days without touching myself. Just patting or yanking or tugging it takes me up to a full blown fucking 9 and then I'm kegeling to keep from nutting. I don't even know if I'm kegeling right, but I'm basically contracting the area that's behind the balls. Yesterday, after two days of zero to negligible arousal, I was possessed (that's seriously how it felt) by a rock solid erection that lasted almost 2 hrs with me stroking it once in a while, all the time watching porn. I kept going with just a few strokes every minute. I was tugging back at the pelvic area really hard at times. I have a concern here about retrograde ejaculation. I didn't ejaculate throughout, and after I went limp I took a piss that was kinda cloudy, so I'm worried if my kegeling is leading to that. Again, I haven't read enough to know what I'm doing, and I know it's about time. I guess there's a fair deal of denial and just wishing the PE will go away. I'll get over that and start reading about the exercises tonight.

3. Arousal: I discovered how little control I have over this. I go from 0 to 6 and then to 10 and by that time I'm struggling to keep from ejaculating. I need to figure this out... if I lay off the porn for an extended period, will the arousal patterns reset themselves?

4. Masturbation: I'm still in the clutches of this habit, and I think I'm beginning to understand how badly it needs to stop. I've begun to isolate some triggers, and I'm working on eliminating them. Mostly I yank without lube, and when I lube it gets sensitive and makes me cum faster. The underside is terribly sensitive. Like the arousal, I'm wondering here if I stop masturbating will the sensitivity decrease?

5. The spasm: The spasms at PONR are like kegels, if I'm doing them right. There is really no difference to me. So when you kegel, is it like you're already contracting the muscles that spasm so you're not allowing it to happen? In my past experiences, if I release the kegel even slightly, the spasm takes over and cum dribbles out. I'm confused here. I don't know what to do.

6. The exercises: I have this strange feeling that no matter how much I read about these exercises, I'll end up sabotaging my attempts to do them because of worrying that I'm not doing them right. This is really fucked up.

So, that's that. Looking forward to some guidance.

Thanks,

nemi.

---

Um, most of the stuff about spasms and shit is explained in imac's thread, which I just saw now after posting. But still, I have this weird hesitation to do the exercises coz I'm not sure about them. It's kiddish to say the least. I'll try to get over it.

[Oorlogsman12]

nemi, I am also new here, but I think that to counter premature ejac. reverse kegels will benefit you alot more than regular kegels. From what i've read on this site regular kegels could even make it worse.

[Drummer19]

I did regular kegels along with reverse kegels for a very long time and was fine.
Reverse kegels only will work too.

[deanmark]

am new here. please, which one is reverse kegel and what is EQ?

[Robeto]

am new here. please, which one is reverse kegel and what is EQ?

A reverse kegel (different to front kegel) focuses on your PC muscles, you can locate it by trying to force out urine while you urinate (as opposed to stopping the stream, which is a regular kegel). You can clarify confusion with reverse kegels here.

EQ is refering to erection quality (firmness of your unit while erect).

Here is a list of abbreviations and acronyms that might help you out around the forums.