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Pre E - My story so far

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  • Pre E - My story so far

    Hi all,

    After lurking on this site for the last few weeks I thought it was important to share my story with those of you who are fighting similar battles. Firstly, I'd like to give a big shout out to Pegasus, Spanky, Minuteman, BiggyD, Drummer and everyone else who has taken to time and effort to post thoughtful, intelligent and insightful information on this matter.

    I have suffered from premature ejaculation for as long as I can remember (currently I am 23), usually lasting 1-2 minutes. Although a number of times in both sex and masturbation I have been able to last over 10 minutes and other times barely 10 seconds. This wide range gives me hope and belief that I can definitely beat the problem. Anxiety over my problem has led to a number of terrible sexual performances where I have blown under 2 minutes, which has then led me to avoid sex for weeks until I was ready to go again, only for the same thing to repeat itself. I have always been quite sensitive, I remember when I was younger I would twitch and jump merely at the touch of my first girl friend. For the last 5 years or so I have run away from the problem, avoiding sex. When I did have sex or masturbated I would simply hope that I would last longer this time, although hope is never enough. Also, when I masturbated I was always in a rush to reach my orgasm rather than enjoying the experience. I believe this has played a major role in my problem. My anxiety built, leading to confidence issues and all sorts of other problems. Basically I have had the chance to sleep with women but been too scared. Even with a long term girlfriend, we would have sex and it would last only 2 mintues. Then I would be too scared to try again for a week, only for the same thing to happen all over again. I don't know how she put up with it.

    Over the years I have attempted to do research, only to find sites promising pills, miracle solutions and all sorts of other bullsh*t so I soon gave up hope. Thinking maybe as I grew older the problem would solve itself. Unfortunately it doesn't work like that. I stumbled across this amazing site and its community, which has given me great hope through reading about other peoples battles and their successes.

    I am only beginning to understand what I have read about arousal levels, kegels, reverse kegels and edging but I believe with persistance I can overcome the problem. Last week I decided to tackle the problem head on, edging regularly while attempting to understand my arousal scale (thanks biggyD) as well as discovering my PC muscles.

    The first day my arousal levels were through the roof and I lasted all of 30 seconds. The next day I was much more calm, and slow about the process. Not rushing into it and simply feeling, enjoying. On the second day I lasted around 10 minutes before I reach PONR, and decided to stop without orgasming. (WOW i thought, 2 minutes to 10 mintues in a day, this will be easy haha). Much again on the third day, I lasted around 10-15 minutes before reaching PONR before stopping without orgasming. I have soon noticed that I involuntary kegel quite often on the downward stroke, which I believe is making me reach orgasm quicker. I am slowly learning about reverse kegeling and I believe that when I do this successfully it helps keep off the orgasm. As for kegeling, well this just seems to make me want to orgasm quicker. I got a little bit excited by minutemans log and thought i could kegel my orgasm into a DO straight away but this never happened. Currently I can hold a kegel for all of 2 seconds but my reverse kegel can be held for 10 seconds easily. Finally on my fourth day my arousal levels were very hard to contain. I had some success with RKs and stopping but I could feel a lot of involuntary kegels I couldn't control and mentally I could feel my arousal almost at a 9 straight away. I believe this may be from having masturbated the last couple of days without orgasm. As a result I managed to hold off orgasm for maybe 5-10 mintues before I lost control I just wanted to finish too bad (old habits!!).

    Now this is where it went a little downhill. I lead a busy life and unfornutaley didn't have the chance to practice for 5 days. When I finally had some spare time I decided to have another edging/masturbation session. I must mention this was yesterday. I was a little anxious and nervous. Within 1 mintue I was ready to orgasm and absolutely nothing I did could take me away from the PONR. I could feel myself involuntarily kegeling on every stroke. I must mention for some reason my RKs weren't working nearly as well as they did the previous week. My penis was extremely senstive. I decided to stop. After losing my erection I decided to give it another go. But once again 5 strokes in I reached the PONR. Once again bad habits came in and I thought F*ck it, orgasming quickly. I must point out it was not enjoyable at all compared to my last experience where I had managed to build up tension and time. Afterwards I felt depressed, anxious, down... Basically negative about myself and everything. Thinking I would never be able to cure this. That night I didn't sleep well and woke up angry.

    So now here I am today. After a good gym session (body weights not penis related) I came home a lot more relaxed, less anxious and less tension. So I decided to give it another go today. I found it hard to get aroused (maybe due to yesterdays failure) but after watching a little porn I was ready to go. Today I managed to edge for 20 minutes without any troubles at all. I noticed only a couple of involuntary kegels but I was able to counter these quickly with a good RK. I didnt get close to the PONR after 20 minutes and only gave it up as unfortunately I didn't have the time to go for another half hour (although I felt I could). In addition, my arousal levels were still nowhere near yesterdays even with porn. (Yesterday I had no porn). I am beginning to think that time period between my last orgasm may be somehow affecting my problem. Although I'm not sure. Maybe I was simply more relaxed and in control today. The massive differences in performance tell me that I can easily overcome this problem if I take the time and effort to figure it out.

    I also haven't learnt control over my Kegels and RKs. I haven't had the time to implement a training schedule, which I believe is absolutely necessary to overcome this. Hopefully soon I will be able to find some time to work on these properly. At the moment it is just edging when I get the chance and exploring my boundaries. Something I have never done as masturbation was always just a race to orgasm for me.

    I hope to use this thread as a bit of a blog, posting once every week or two with my progress. I welcome any advice/comments/questions and hope this helps anyone else fighting the same problem. I apologise in advance if I don't reply quickly but I will do my best!

    Looking back at this post it seems to be a bit of a rant on my behalf, sorry! Clearly I needed to get this off my chest as I have never mentioned my problem to anyone. Another reason why I have never been able to face up to it. I hope this can help atleast one person fighting Pre E.

    Cheers

  • #2
    Do you have an out of sex K/rk routine?

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    • #3
      Will you quit spamming
      Last edited by DemOne; 12-20-2011, 06:49 PM. Reason: Removed quoted spam

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      • #4
        Pegasus - I haven't got a K / RK routine yet. I'm not even sure if I have figured them out properly yet. I seem to find it easier to 'feel' my K and RK when I have an erection. Without an erection I'm still learning them properly I think. In saying that though, what would you recommend as a routine for me just starting out? From what I have read I was thinking it would be best to start with more emphasis on RK?

        Friendlyuser - I'm not sure why you thought this is spam?

        As an update - I had an interesting learning experience the other day. After two days of edging without orgasm it came to the third day of my routine (I am trying to edge three days in a row, 2 without orgams and orgasming on the third, and then one day off). On the third day I reached PONR rather quickly, maybe 3-5 minutes. I had no luck trying to RK away from PONR so I slowed down to just massaging the head and after telling myself to drop arousal mentally I seemed to back away. Also my erection almost went flaccid but not quite. After this I was able to go on again for another 10 minutes before reaching PONR. So now I'm thinking that my problem may be more to do with arousal levels. At the moment I'm having trouble keeping a strong erection without a high arousal level. Every time I try to drop my arousal level I seem to start to lose my erection which isn't really a good thing? Maybe I just need more practice though.

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