Important information you might find helpful!

[nibbles]

I'm on my iPhone so I can't type too much but..

You may have read that I've been doing reverse kegels and the stop and start technique with deep breathing and i've noticed some better control when getting a blow job from my girlfriend but none with actual sex.

I use a fleshlight and normally just lie down and use my fleshlight but tonight I thought I'd try to put the fleshlight in a position that resembles the missionary position as if I was actually having sex. I found it so much harder to control anything and after a bit of playing around I noticed something.

When I get a blow job I'm usually lying down and my penis is put pointing straight up like a 90 degree angle from my body. This is exactly the same penis position when I'm using my fleshlight!

When I attempted the missionary position with the fleshlight my penis was bent facing more down that at a 90 degree which seemed to have a major effect on control. I'm quite certain that practicing with your penis facing down, straight and facing toward your belly button could majorly help. I thought it was weird how I could control my penis better when getting a blow job and no change in sex and i think this could be the reason.

It would be great if you all could try masturbating with your penis pointing straight up then next time put it facing down more and see if you notice any difference too I think with the fleshlight depending on position different areas of your penis get stimulated more or less

[Padawan787]

You cum quicker during sex due to the physical exertion, you aren't doing anything during a blowjob so your muscles are loose and relaxed, that is why you can last longer for a BJ

[nibbles]

So practicing actual thrusting rather than just using my hand is the way forward?

[ktrp]

I don't think its the direction, its thrusting vs. not thrusting.

Thrusting definitely used to make me cum faster, but I'd say now its normally reversed. I made huge strides in holding off while thrusting when I became more aware of involuntary kegels, and focusing on keeping a (sounds gross but helps me) 'loose ass'. Focus on keeping your ass/perineum loose and relaxed. Its actually almost _easier_ to do when thrusting because you kind of shake the muscles out. Of course if you're not focused, you can easily be tensing those muscles while thrusting.

[Only19ButMyMindIsOld]

It varies person to person and corresponds with your LOT (loss of lug). @OP

Your LOT is probably like most people's (including mine) and is at the 6 o'clock position.

[eworthi]

I agree. My wife and I are in the missionary position almost exclusively and that is the worst position for PremE as it is physically exhausting to support the upper body and it tenses so many muscle groups. So my exercise routine has developed over the past 4 months to go straight after the exhausting and high stimulation nature of the missionary position. I currently use the fleshlight with its suction cup mount mounted to the floor with me on my hands and knees thrusting away into it. It's very uncomfortable on the old hands and knees, but I can go 10 minutes straight like that now and stop before PONR, which is a huge improvement in both exercise and sex. And your comment on keeping a "loose ass" is true for me as well because while in that position I can't isolate a reverse Kegel very well but I can press out a decent reverse root lock and the reverse Kegel seems to occur when I do that and i can feel my arousal level drop. Sometimes I laugh at myself as I'm hunched over, half in the shower, having sex with a latex flashlight and trying to fart to keep from getting too excited...but I don't stop thrusting.

I don't think its the direction, its thrusting vs. not thrusting.

Thrusting definitely used to make me cum faster, but I'd say now its normally reversed. I made huge strides in holding off while thrusting when I became more aware of involuntary kegels, and focusing on keeping a (sounds gross but helps me) 'loose ass'. Focus on keeping your ass/perineum loose and relaxed. Its actually almost _easier_ to do when thrusting because you kind of shake the muscles out. Of course if you're not focused, you can easily be tensing those muscles while thrusting.