Nibbles diary

[nibbles Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close nibbles]

I've been advised to do a diary to keep track of progress. Hopefully whilst updating my diary you guys can jump in and suggest new things or just give me some good luck and inspiration

I'm doing a reverse kegel heavy routine at the moment although from the looks of things involuntary kegels have pretty much disappeared now and I've only been doing them for 2 weeks.

I plan to edge as much as possible using my fleshlight stu. I live with my parents so will have to so my edging seasons at night before a go to bed. I aim to go for atleast 20 minutes and keep it slow and controlled with heavy breathing. Every few weeks I'll track progress and see if my time has increased before I reach the PONR.

I had my first edging session today working my way up until I knew I was a stroke or two away from an involuntary kegel leading to ejaculation. I managed to stay really calm through out and went for 30 minutes. Didn't take not of how long it took me to first reach the PONR but I'll make a note every couple of weeks to track progress.

Extra info: I'm using a fleshlight stu with waterbased lube whilst lying down on my bed. New positions will be added but I want to make some progress lying down first, small steps first

I hope I manage to increase my stimulation time and overcome my pe and hopefully make a usual inspiring thread for you all to follow

[Minuteman Member of the Month March 2013. Find all posts View Profile Close Minuteman]

You should track the time befor PONR but also overall time of that session. There is no problem to reach ponr several times for example as long as the total of active time is more or less 20 minutes per session.

Good luck on your journey.

[nibbles Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close nibbles]

I will do

I was with my girlfriend last night, lying on the bed things started heating up and we started kissing. My hands were just on her waste but I got so turned on I literally was stokes away from blowing my load as soon as she slightly rubbed my penis through my jeans so not even direct contact.

I stopper her from rubbing as otherwise I'll ejaculate and started on her. Fingering her she started to make a few noises as she got more aroused and I blew my load. I couldn't stop it and she wasn't even touching me :/ I felt awful.

How can I last longer in bed when I can't even get to the stage where the trousers come off :/ help please, what can I do?

[Minuteman Member of the Month March 2013. Find all posts View Profile Close Minuteman]

Spend more time with her, get used to the smell of her body and her voice, try to touch her and be gentle with her more, that way not all touching will lead to sex and slowly you will get used to her. Get to know her, people consciously and unconsciously fear (are anxious) of the stuff they don't know. Get used to the being called woman.

Also did you notice something about your pelvic floor while she moaned did your pelvic floor tighten on some reflex? When you where on the bed where you expecting sex, was it spontaneous or did you plan to have sex?

Since now she knows that you have a tendency to blow your load fast next time you feel "literally was stokes away from blowing my load" tell her that, tell her that you want to go even slower. Women are in general much more understanding when it comes to intimacy than men and to some point even appreciative when they are entrusted with something intimate. So learning how to communicate with her is very important.

For some people with premature ejaculation overcomming that first PONR correctly is a very big deal, for some people outright fixing their PE problem (if it was mostly psychological).

Also try this:

Get naked with her and let her touch your body with no intention of having sex, try to get used to the way she is touching you, then do that to her in return try to get used to that, to feel relaxed. Even better tell her to give you a massage and give her one in return.

This is all hapening because you are too anxious, people with premature ejaculation almost always have a similar psychological pattern where they are always thinking to much ahead and overanalyzing stuff, always in some sort of fear/anixiety over how things should be. For us it is really hard to really connect with people and ourselves because of that and in return that effects much our sexual performance.


Don't give up and don't despair it might look hopeless but it really isn't that much.

[nibbles Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close nibbles]

Thanks mm

I've been doing stuff with this girl for well over a year and I still get this :/

I know for a fact I unconcisiously think way to far ahead and know that this session will end up in me ejaculating but I can't help but think that. It's so annoying. I'll continue edging and hopefully my body will get used to being turned on without always leading to ejaculation. I'm sure if I can tackle this issue it would be a huge help in fixing my pe

[TruuCamp Member Find all posts View Profile Close TruuCamp]

Nibbles bro , listen to minute man.

Try this too

- Understand that it is just sex - its normal , the people that can last longer are human just like you.

- If you are in a place that puts pressure on you that might not help. Example , when i have sex with my girlfriend and my parents or her parent are home i get anxious and blow faster.

- Relax Relax Relax - As much as it has been said and you believe you are , YOU ARE NOT. When you are relaxed you dont think to yourself to relax - Its like a zone - ( This might seem supernatural but once you achieve it you will understand )

- FORGET ABOUT PERFORMANCE - WHY ? You think perform and your brain will recall memories of times you couldnt perform and replay it. Think of sex as something you enjoy and you are good at. For example , I enjoy soccer so i dont think about how good or bad i'm going to play i just play for the fun of it - Adopt the same mentality to sex. Doesnt mean detach your sex - just know that its not all about performance.

- Celebrate every PROGRESS and ACCEPT every mistake - Pro's make mistake , even guys having sex for 20 years have their early blow days - DO THEY SIT AND CRY ABOUT IT ? NO ! Just move on and think positive.

The tips go on and on - if you want more PM or ask me to post for the public.

Keep up with your RK > Kegels routine. I just took an Intro to Psychology course and you will be amazed how much of an impact your brain has on everything you do. Slight shift to positive thinking could be all you need to gain your confidence.

Good luck to you and everyone who acknowledged their issue and is working hard to overcome it . Good Day

[nibbles Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close nibbles]

Thank you for your kind words

Had a edging session today nag logged some times:

Time to reach first PONR - 1 minute 35
Overall edging time - 30 minutes

I noticed that it all seemed very tense down there and I couldn't relax the area. Would continuation of my reverse kegel routine loosen and relax the area with time? I also noticed a few involuntary kegels not big ones but I felt them still, I kept a few strokes away from the big kegel/tense up that leads to ejaculation and waited until I was more relaxed before I carried on.

[zunamary Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close zunamary]

Keep it up man! I remember when I first started I reached the PONR in less than a minute sometimes. You just need to try and see what suits for you. When you're with your gf or edging, don't think about what you will do, about how you will perform.. just be present and concious of the feelings, focus on your breathing and sensations. Maybe this could help a little bit

[nibbles Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close nibbles]

Whilst edging last night I noticed quite a few involuntary kegels that were definitely pushing me faster to the PONR. I always stop penetration when i know the big kegel at the end which shoots me to ejaculation is just a few strokes away but i think i need to attempt to keep all my muscles relaxed down there whilst i am edging.

I tried to stay relaxed but it didn't help eliminate the kegels so I'll carry on doing reverse kegels and maybe every time i do feel a little involuntary kegel i'll follow it with a reverse kegel

[nibbles Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close nibbles]

Quick update. Was having sex with my girlfriend last night and couldn't even get in with feeling the urge to ejaculate. Anyways i ended up ejaculating twice and on the third time i had a lot better control.

We had sex and I noticed how relaxed my penis was and when i did feel a kegel i'd notice my arousal shoot up. I'd stop for a bit (either inside her or not) and then after a while i could go for a few more pumps before it happened again. I'm sure the involuntary kegels are what's causing me premature ejaculation. As soon as my penis was relaxed I could go for 20+ seconds before a involuntary kegel came and i hit the PONR which for me is really good.

Will definitely start to avoid all involuntary kegels from now on instead of working through them

[TheSnitch Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close TheSnitch]

Hey Nibbles. Are you doing reverse Kegels? I'm not an expert, or even a beginner on the PrePE stuff - but I was under the impression that you can help relax your PC muscle by doing reverse kegels in order to last longer?

[nibbles Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close nibbles]

I am indeed. Have been doing them for just over 2 weeks now. Can't say i feel much different yet but i believe thats only half the battle. No matter how strong the reverse kegels your brain is still trained to flex rather than relax so edging with relaxation techniques must be needed

[nibbles Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close nibbles]

Had a really good edging session today

Went for just over 30 minutes but this time i went slower and really tuned in to my penis and made sure it stayed relaxed and didn't have any little spasms.

As soon as my level of arousal got too high i'd stop for about 10 seconds then carry on. Was amazed how calm my penis remained.

I had sex not so long ago and my spasms were going crazy, each one pushing me closer and closer to the PONR. Hopefully doing this will eventually result in putting a stop to that though

[nibbles Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close nibbles]

Okay so lately i've not been edging as much as i've wanted. In fact I didn't do it once last week. I've been very busy and absolutely knackered when i finally get home. I know I know it's not good but I'm starting up again today.

I was just wondered which is a better edging technique?

Masturbate all the way up to the PONR, stop wait for the urge to cum to disappear and start up again

OR

Masturbate up to about a level 7 on the arousal scale and just hang round there. When i feel my arousal going up i stop and let my arousal drop back to a level 7?

[Minuteman Member of the Month March 2013. Find all posts View Profile Close Minuteman]

The point should be to get used to high arousal, but the point also should be to find your confort zone (the one you feel most pleasure but not enough to ejaculate and can keep at it for a longer time, in your case probably level 7).

So basically you should focus on both. When edging try not to fall in the pattern too much since then you are just replacing one habbit with another it is better to condition youself to unpredicatiblity by doing different stuff.

By the way, when you are overworked and just don't have the time, don't force it, give it a shot with a slow and sensual session and if you just don't feel it just stop and do it later on, it is not a good idea to force yourself to much when you have low libido.