Premature ejaculation coaches corner.

**Drummer19** · 06-25-2012

Originally Posted by spanky

I would add here for clarity that that anxiety is not just performance or surface sexual anxiety, and that underlying issues, stress, trust, depression and other unrelated concerns that as you say are not always easy to identify can be just as destructive.

You have to remember that you are a sexual being. This is what your body has evolved to do, so submit to it and become it. It's what you are.

Great point spanky! Anxiety from other underlying issues are just as destructive! It could be as simple as not being comfortable with your sexuality that causes Pre-E. I know for me personally, I was always uncomfortable with being a sexual being but now that I realized this about 2 months ago I have been working on it a lot!
I started learning how to dance to boost up my sexuality and confidence and dre I say it I had casual sex for the first time! I always thought until recently that casual sex was a terrible thing to do, morally. These two things are just examples, but when combined with many other things that make you anxious they compound and that helps your mind over-react during sex, aiding in worsening Pre-E.

It is important to note Spanky's exact words on his last line... If you don't recognize your sexuality and accept it your body and mind will not be on the same page.

Thanks for bringing that up Spanky!

**JamesMonroe** · 06-25-2012

Originally Posted by cris_jos

Or may be there are two ways to do it.
Stretching--which is as Imac says a not so forceful activity. It is supposed to relax the whole area. It does not require any assistance from other muscles, but any muscle is capable of stretching and relaxing on it own. So the maximum strength in this case can only bring the soothing/relaxing sensation.

Forcing-- which is how James does it. It requires assistance from other muscles (abs, diaphragm etc). It stretches/forces out the muscle to its "full potential".

I'd say the former requires a lot more practice as it involves isolation. But both should do the job and as Minuteman said after a while everybody has their own definition of Reverse Kegels. Everything is fine as long as they do the job and have no side effects.

Agreed, but I just don't see how muscles can stretch on their own. Can someone please explain that???
When you stretch in the gym, you need other muscles to be able to stretch, how else are you able to move your body 1 inch without some kind of muscle. The only time I can see a muscle being stretched without a muscle and just by using gravity is when we bend over and touch our toes. How could a muscle inside our body like the pc muscle be stretched with gravity and without the help of any muscle at all??? How its the "stretch" possible?

**JamesMonroe** · 06-25-2012

yes.... Like iMac says.... I also do light relaxing pushes/stretches to keep relaxed and keep spasms and PONRs at bay, but I think both him and I have and agree that we have stregthened that area over time, weather one of us pushed harder than the other doesn't matter. I think we both strenghened the lower abs/diaphragm or whatever is enabling us to PUSH well, down there.

**JamesMonroe** · 06-25-2012

We have built something down there stronger over time, i dont think its about precision or execution or the right form.

**JamesMonroe** · 06-25-2012

iMac has been doing reverse kegels forever since he was young. He did them before regular kegels. I did reverse kegels after mastering regular kegels and as soon as I tried to de reverse kegels, I could not do them....
It took hard training and lots of time to isolate and be able to do them without using too much abs.
Btw... I noticed that today when I do a hard reverse kegel as to stop ejaculation, I HAVE to use my lower abs or diaphragm.

**bigmoe5067** · 06-25-2012

i have yet to read anything other than the 1st post. my believe is that the best technique is based upon assesment. people develop pe for different reasons. assessing your cause, or if you dont have pe then your weakest attribute should in turn be the guide to who's style of approach you should seek.

i was once a hard clench masturbator. over tensed, very powerful kegel muscles. i destroyed my pe with a simple month of 90/10 rk/k training, similar to what imac suggests.

doctors dont fix broken bones with anti biotics, and thus PE should be the same way. assessment > diagnosis > prescribed treatment > treatment > reassess

**JamesMonroe** · 06-25-2012

As for the arousal point... I agree... maybe thats why I can last long with my gf now. Like I said, now I'm used to her. What if I get with a new girl.... that might give me prem ejac again cuz of the new arousal levels. OR maybe ill he ok, cuz I have been trained well by now and I can handle high levels of arousal now.....

**bigmoe5067** · 06-25-2012

i have been having success doing 15 minutes of kegels in 30 second holds (15 seconds between hold) on mon/wed/fri only, with reverse kegels done all throughout the week when i remember to do them, except for taking sundays off completely from anything pe.

my meditation and pranayama has been a major factor as well

**Cantona7** · 06-25-2012

Originally Posted by JamesMonroe

Agreed, but I just don't see how muscles can stretch on their own. Can someone please explain that???
When you stretch in the gym, you need other muscles to be able to stretch, how else are you able to move your body 1 inch without some kind of muscle. The only time I can see a muscle being stretched without a muscle and just by using gravity is when we bend over and touch our toes. How could a muscle inside our body like the pc muscle be stretched with gravity and without the help of any muscle at all??? How its the "stretch" possible?

You got me wrong there. Our bodies are complex structures with more than one muscle and majority of movements do require multiple muscles working together. What I meant is you can kegel or reverse kegel without any kind of help from other muscles (that is if you have that degree of isolation). You can also do the same movement with the help of other muscles as in your case. For instance, you are moving your finger up and down, it takes intention (will power/signal to the brain) and your ability to differentiate the finger you want to move (if its your pinky or middle finger or w.e.). Now you are moving your hand up and down, this is more complex as it involves more than one muscle (wrist movement etc) where the former was a simple movement and was more specific.

I didn't mean to say there is no help from other muscles because our bodies are not that simple. Its more like learning to move each finger separately (which still is complex action and requires other muscles' assistance but the end product is movement of whatever you wanna move specifically)

**Cantona7** · 06-25-2012

Originally Posted by bigmoe5067

i have been having success doing 15 minutes of kegels in 30 second holds (15 seconds between hold) on mon/wed/fri only, with reverse kegels done all throughout the week when i remember to do them, except for taking sundays off completely from anything pe.

my meditation and pranayama has been a major factor as well

I am glad you've had success. I, for example, have Pre E but I know its mostly psychological. I have problems with being over arousal and the level of excitement is very high. I do Reverse Kegels 1 day on and 1 day off. I stayed away from Regular Kegels thinking they were the culprit, but my erection quality has suffered a bit from this routine. I was wondering if there a way to tell if your pelvic floor is totally balanced? I can start with a kegel routine, but I'm afraid it might make mt Pre E worse. And I do 30 sec holds with 30 sec breaks. I have read somewhere the time you hold a muscle should be equal to the time you give it to relax.

Also, does meditation help with arousal control? and what is pranayama?