At the end of my rope

[Tyrael Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Tyrael]

So I have terrible terrible premature ejaculation. At first, i did kegels for about 3 months straight with no RKs. Bad idea i now know. It seemed to work for a while but not really more than a few times. I have a lot of tension and constantly have bad involuntary kegels all the time during masturbation and intercourse. It's like my body thinks that a forced kegel hold or constant flexes is necessary to be turned on. It seems that nothing is working. I changed my eating habits. I quit smoking, I meditate, i life weights and do the punching bag, but it seems that no matter what, nothing works.

There there is the other issue, which is my girlfriend. When i have a sexual problem, she gets mad at me. She doesn't understand how it feels to be a man who sucks at sex. Sometimes i secretly take painkillers to dull myself, and when i do, im a sex god. When i dont, it's extremely awkward and bad. I mean sometimes randomly (mostly while drunk but sometimes not) i do okay. She won't ever give us a chance to try again because she gets mad, also her vagina is very sensitive and we usually have to wait a day or so before we can try sex again.

You guys, i need something bad. I keep feeling worse and worse, and although i would NEVER EVER hurt myself over bullshit like this, it's been bad enough and depressing enough for me to see how someone might be tempted too.

Is it me, is it her, is it both of us?

I am getting to the end of my rope fellas.

I am currently doing, in an attempt to repair: ByggD's arousal control exercises, Soto Zen Meditation 20min/day, High protein low fat fruit based diet, 10 daily relaxation yoga, heavy bag, weights and cardio.

Mon: 40 5sec RK Holds, 20 5sec kegel holds
Tue: 20 5s RK holds
Wed: 40 5sec Rk Holds, 20 5sec kegel holds
Thur: 20 5sec Rk holds
Friday: 40 5sec RK Holds, 20 5sec kegel holds

I edge when I can and hold off orgasm to about every three-seven days, i take the weekend off kegels altogether.

I just want to be a normal guy who can have about 15 minutes of sex.

I did this to myself with bad masturbation habits and excessive porn use.

I just dont know how to get my gf to work with me, and i feel SO BAD. SO ******BAD.

Any insight about my routine (just started this week, i took 3 weeks off to try to reset. Didn't work) or my relationship would
be appreciated.

I think that her attitude and the way sex feels like a test are the worst things.

[CUSP82 Administrator Admin of the Month Dec 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CUSP82]

Let's see when you do drugs or are drunk you are a sex god. So what's not working well when you do them? You guessed it; your brain. Now you got a girl who is a bit less compassionate than most and gets mad when you're not a sex god. What does that do? Well it puts more stress on your brain and since you've trained your brain to premature ejaculate then that's the signals your brain sends. I think your problem is far more mental than physical. What about you?

[Tyrael Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Tyrael]

i definintely believe its mostly mental. And my brain isn't wonked up on drugs all the time, i just recently discovered the painkiller thing because i had a tooth out. But yeah, i have no problems when im edging i could edge for 4 hours if i wanted i just can't do the real thing. Im sex obsessed because of this, its terrible. Definitely mental. I keep asking her if she would like to have a "sexy day," as i call it and "practice" but no go. It happened last night, and she literally started talking about breaking up. I think your spot on about being drunk though, im distracted and not worried so it's no problem. Hmm. Maybe ill start a journal or something and that'll help

Edit: does the rk/k routine look good to you guys?

[someone_like_u Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close someone_like_u]

I don't know about the routine stuff, so hopefully a male will chime in soon enough for ya.

I'll address the girlfriend part. The both of you really need to sit down and talk. The question: Why is she getting so mad at you? I have two assumptions. 1. She's a selfish girl that doesn't deserve you. 2. She's getting mad because she thinks your PE issue is a reflection of her, your desire(lack of possibly), or any other silly thing she can conjure in her head, making your PE about her.

I'm leaning towards option two. So, sit down and talk it out. Let her know how she makes you feel.

[CUSP82 Administrator Admin of the Month Dec 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CUSP82]

Get your mind right and while you're at it find a new girl.

[NCGUY1972 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close NCGUY1972]

Definately have a talk with her. If she knows what your doing and why and she cares about you and your goals you can work on it together and there is nothing better than having a supportive partner to work through these personal issues. Wouldn't it be great to smile at each share some passion and giggle with each other knowing your giving it another try each time you try.

She may be mad because she knows your struggling and you wont open up to her so get everything off your chest! Dont be embarrassed there is no need to be especially if this is someone you intend to be with.


IMHO the worst problems are the ones you try to deal with alone especially when they affect other people.

[JamesMonroe Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close JamesMonroe]

Yeah... She sound like an immature selfish inconsiderate B.
If she really loved you she would help you on that sex day and never be mad at you.
Yes... Do Byggd's program. Also At some point, watch porn for like a month without touching yourself at all and then stop watching it completely!!! And the last and most important thing you have to do is STOP the regular kegels! Regular Kegels and masturbating to porn is what gave You prem ejac!!! Only do Rev Kegels for now until you are better at sex.
When you edge ALWAYS use lube. How have you had your hand grip this hole time? Light or tight?

[QuickTrigger Member Find all posts View Profile Close QuickTrigger]

OP, is your pre-e as bad the second time around as the first? What I mean is: if you ejaculate (whether through sex or masturbation) and then shortly thereafter engage in sex again, is it just as bad?

I know that for me, my first time is always a disaster: 0 to 90seconds, tops. But, if I'm graced with the opportunity to go again, then I usually last a respectable 10-15 minutes or more. If you're like me, then I would suggest finding a way to ejaculate before sex. If your gf is unwilling to get you off with oral or a hand job before actual penetration, then try masturbating beforehand.

Good vibes your way, OP.

[capital255 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close capital255]

So I have terrible terrible premature ejaculation. At first, i did kegels for about 3 months straight with no RKs. Bad idea i now know. It seemed to work for a while but not really more than a few times. I have a lot of tension and constantly have bad involuntary kegels all the time during masturbation and intercourse. It's like my body thinks that a forced kegel hold or constant flexes is necessary to be turned on. It seems that nothing is working. I changed my eating habits. I quit smoking, I meditate, i life weights and do the punching bag, but it seems that no matter what, nothing works.

There there is the other issue, which is my girlfriend. When i have a sexual problem, she gets mad at me. She doesn't understand how it feels to be a man who sucks at sex. Sometimes i secretly take painkillers to dull myself, and when i do, im a sex god. When i dont, it's extremely awkward and bad. I mean sometimes randomly (mostly while drunk but sometimes not) i do okay. She won't ever give us a chance to try again because she gets mad, also her vagina is very sensitive and we usually have to wait a day or so before we can try sex again.

You guys, i need something bad. I keep feeling worse and worse, and although i would NEVER EVER hurt myself over bullshit like this, it's been bad enough and depressing enough for me to see how someone might be tempted too.

Is it me, is it her, is it both of us?

I am getting to the end of my rope fellas.

I am currently doing, in an attempt to repair: ByggD's arousal control exercises, Soto Zen Meditation 20min/day, High protein low fat fruit based diet, 10 daily relaxation yoga, heavy bag, weights and cardio.

Mon: 40 5sec RK Holds, 20 5sec kegel holds
Tue: 20 5s RK holds
Wed: 40 5sec Rk Holds, 20 5sec kegel holds
Thur: 20 5sec Rk holds
Friday: 40 5sec RK Holds, 20 5sec kegel holds

I edge when I can and hold off orgasm to about every three-seven days, i take the weekend off kegels altogether.

I just want to be a normal guy who can have about 15 minutes of sex.

I did this to myself with bad masturbation habits and excessive porn use.

I just dont know how to get my gf to work with me, and i feel SO BAD. SO ******BAD.

Any insight about my routine (just started this week, i took 3 weeks off to try to reset. Didn't work) or my relationship would
be appreciated.

I think that her attitude and the way sex feels like a test are the worst things.

I'm kinda in the same boat as you are. I use to do kegaling for a little bit as well but I also heard that it can stimulate more pre-cum in the prostate and uretha which is not a good thing. I currently have a girlfriend too and when ever we do have sex with her I bust within a 2-60 or 2 minutes if i'm lucky on my first try. Lucky she is understanding on my condition but a woman can only take so little satisfaction which in future could end up in a breakup.

I only train by doing edging, balloning at least 20 minutes 4 times per week and rest on weekends but its only been about a month. Just do more reverse kegaling and no regular kegaling at all. Also trying something new called Natural Ejaculation control Technique..Look it up..it could help

[JamesMonroe Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close JamesMonroe]

I'm kinda in the same boat as you are. I use to do kegaling for a little bit as well but I also heard that it can stimulate more pre-cum in the prostate and uretha which is not a good thing. I currently have a girlfriend too and when ever we do have sex with her I bust within a 2-60 or 2 minutes if i'm lucky on my first try. Lucky she is understanding on my condition but a woman can only take so little satisfaction which in future could end up in a breakup.

I only train by doing edging, balloning at least 20 minutes 4 times per week and rest on weekends but its only been about a month. Just do more reverse kegaling and no regular kegaling at all. Also trying something new called Natural Ejaculation control Technique..Look it up..it could help

Guys with a caring constant sex partner are very lucky. Getting slowly used to the most intense sexual positions and having sex 2-3 times in a row often, is the best way to cure prem ejac.

[capital255 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close capital255]

Yea to help there pe james but like you mention slowly, it will take time and a very understanding girlfriend to help you overcome it.

[Tyrael Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Tyrael]

way less bad if we do it again, i can do it normally the second, if we go thee im in control. Im switching to all RKs i guess as well.

edit: The most important thing for me guys, is to believe that i can actually get better. If i can believe that doing RKs only for a while will help me then it will be way easier for me to cope with things. If i can feel like i really know what the problem is and that RK's will fix it it'l be much better. I know a chunk of this issue is mental, but it would be nice to have a reliable fact to link this all too. Im pretty sure that pelvic floor imbalance is my problem, along with nervousness, and that RKs are the fix. I just read all the essential threads (implications etc). It was nice just to talk to you all about it. First time i have talked to anyone about this stuff really.

[JamesMonroe Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close JamesMonroe]

way less bad if we do it again, i can do it normally the second, if we go thee im in control. Im switching to all RKs i guess as well.

edit: The most important thing for me guys, is to believe that i can actually get better. If i can believe that doing RKs only for a while will help me then it will be way easier for me to cope with things. If i can feel like i really know what the problem is and that RK's will fix it it'l be much better. I know a chunk of this issue is mental, but it would be nice to have a reliable fact to link this all too. Im pretty sure that pelvic floor imbalance is my problem, along with nervousness, and that RKs are the fix. I just read all the essential threads (implications etc). It was nice just to talk to you all about it. First time i have talked to anyone about this stuff really.

Yeah but there's also edging and ballooning with lube, ByggD's arousal control program, death grip, abstaining from porn, watching porn for 1-3 months without touching yourself, proper breathing and jelqing, which helps prem ejac indirectly.

[JamesMonroe Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close JamesMonroe]

Yeah but there's also edging and ballooning with lube, ByggD's arousal control program, death grip, abstaining from porn, watching porn for 1-3 months without touching yourself, proper breathing and jelqing, which helps prem ejac indirectly.

The goal is to ultimately never watch porn again, unless you're cured and can handle it, including masturbating to it. Porn and prem ejac is the work combination, especially while doing reg kegels without rev kegels. And yes.... it's a great idea to stay clear from reg kegels for a while.