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  • Virgin & Facing PE (PMs & Log)

    I recently joined this forum & started out my conversation with few of the members in PM as I was not very confident to start a new thread & share with everyone but now as suggested by Minuteman I should start a thread & log so it would be helpful for other members as well & they can also give suggestions.

    So first of all I would share my PM conversation with other guys which will be a little long read and then a regular posting. I hope & expect response from other male & female members.

    So here is how this all started 2 weeks ago..

    I am 28 years old and getting married in 2 months, I am facing PE for long time but never really cared about but since now I am getting married in 2 months so I am very worried about this situation.

    How I know I have PE?
    I am very much addicted to porn & always masturbate to porn, what I normally do is watch porn for 2 3 hours & get several erections between that time which make me highly aroused and then as soon I touch my penis, I ejaculate (within few seconds)

    I would like to mention that I NEVER had a physical relation with any girl before so I am not really sure how worse my PE is going to be after marriage. All I fear is I will not even be able to enter vagina for the first time as I think I will either ejaculate while foreplay or trying to enter.
    I think I have good erection, though I don't really know what good erection is for penetration but it looks hard enough.

    I started to work on kegels few months ago and practiced or trained my PC so that now I can hold PC for about 20 to 30 seconds but all I noticed is a hard erection & intense ejaculation but no benefit on PE, though I was able to hold ejaculation at PONR for once along with some breathing pattern.

    So here are few queries I need to ask and I hope you will be able to guide well based on your personal & forum experiences:

    1. Should I post this as a thread or keep this in private message?
    2. Can I overcome PE or at least improve myself a bit (I am not looking for having hours or intercourse, 5 to 10 mins in the start will be good enough & satisfactory for me)
    3. Where exactly I should start?
    4. I have not done edging yet, I'm confused how to do? Edging along with breathing? Adding kegels or simple edging?
    5. I'm done with forward kegels but cant understand at all reverse kegels & their importance from this forum
    6. I studied few ebooks and never read anything like reverse kegels
    7. I hope I'll not watch any porn during these 2 months and just edging and stuff but then I'm afraid I'll be highly excited & aroused on my marriage night to face PE for sure
    8. Do I need any medical treatment? though I've already got all medical tests & I'm perfect (just few hormonal disorders)
    9. How to control my arousal during foreplay? because no matter how much I practice, it will be my first experience with any girl.
    10. My fiance is virgin too, any suggestions on that matter? I mean breaking hymen & all?

    Here are replies to this PM from few members (so thankful to them)

    First reply from Pegasus...

    1. Up to you . The downside is negative feedback from guys who don't want to underastand where your background or are just bad people.
    2. You can certainly improve . In the westwern world guys are supposed to boast and they do, 5 min is actually the nornal time for intercourse ,plus some foreplay
    3 also 4 Start with basic stop /start edging, masturbate until you get to a level of arousal you have decided beforehand . stop till your arousal goes down a bit start again and so on. You can move to more advanced forms as you become more experienced. Begin learning reverse kegels.
    5. Kegels strengthen the pelvic floor . Reverse kegel relax ,tone ,balance. Doing kegels without reverse kegels can put strength out of balance and increase pre e issues.
    6. I did not invent reverse kegel (rk), but I have helped popularise them , they are becomeing better known through this site .
    7. Do not expect to be perfect when you first learn a skill , it is enough to be commited to develop.
    8. I do not know what medical treatment would help at this point and in any case this can have dangers.
    9. a boxer trains hard in the gym but ar some point he must have his first actual bout .
    10 . Oh boy . Take your time .

    Some of your questions may be better answered by a female . We have some female mods here I could bring in on this. (I would really appreciate if some female member or mod is reading this & could help with any of the matter she thinks)

    Next reply is from another Senior Member Spanky, a very good read & it was very helpful to boost my self-confident (thanks man)

    "
    Hey boy, congratulations on your marriage, and good luck for the future.

    Don't be shy about posting on here - it's anonymous unless you tell people your name and address, and you're not alone on here.

    First thing I want to say to you is RELAX!

    You have a whole load of things in your favour here that should take the pressure off. Treat the whole thing as an adventure that you BOTH can share, it's a wonderful thing, and you know, just like anything new in this world, as you find your way you're going to stumble and fall, and learn and grow in the process. You bth get to share that, and you really shouldn't put the pressure to perform like a porn star in your way - You can have sex like that, but you both need to be in that zone, and pretty comfortable with each other. The biggest obstacle to great sex is to my mind all psychological. You can only have sex like that when you're both in absolutely filthy moods, and utterly confident and comfortable with what you're doing.

    That takes time. And practice. For everyone.

    Nobody has great sex their first few times. That doesn't mean it'll be bad by any means - sex is great fun whatever happens, and that's where you need to be. It's fun you share together, not a performance. If you cum really quickly, don't worry about it. Laugh it off. Say to her "haha, I was so worried that was going to happen" and carry on anyway because you both want to see what happens next... DON'T roll over and go to sleep - that's the WORST thing you can do.

    Now all that state of mind stuff out of the way, there are things you can do NOW to help yourself if that mental relaxation doesn't get you over the finish line on its own.

    Give the porn a break. I know everyone says this, but really. Do. Half the reason it makes you cum so quickly is because it's arousing you so much before you're hard. There is a huge difference between mental arousal and physical, I mean let's say you're out with someone and you know you're going to get some, you're basically going to be aroused ALL DAY. You won't be hard all day, but as the night approaches yu're going to be thinking about it, looking forward to it, maybe flirting like crazy ... now ok, if you're a virgin you may not relate directly to that but I hope you can see what I'm getting at. Porn does that too. Like if you're sat down and feeling horny, you're journey to orgasm *already started* .. then as you go and find some porn to put on, you're already hot for it, filled with anticipation.. looking forward to watching all that silky glistening skin and hearing her moan... and that's before you've even got your penis out of your trousers.

    You can control that mental arousal. Breathe slowly. Relax. Consider that the journey TOWARDS orgasm is just as delightful (sometimes more so) than orgasm itself. Women are far more like this in their approach to sex than men anyway. So realise that. Take a leaf from her book, and enjoy it. With your partner, take pleasure from giving HER that journey.

    I diverted again. But I wanted to make the point about the way we deal with porn, because porn doesn't know you. Porn isn't there with you, taking pleasure from you or loving the pleasure you give it. Your wife will be. It's a different experience.

    Porn is designed to make you cum.

    Sex is a sea of pleasure to swim in.

    Don't get them confused.

    Plus, your wife to be is a virgin too? She's not going to judge you. That takes an *immense* amount of pressure off you as far as performance goes, becaue she's not going to be able to compare you to other guys. I can tell you that of the women who have slept around that I've asked, they say that MOST men are bad in bed, so the fact that you're making the effort puts you up in the top flight already. Seriously. But just don't worry about being amazing on day one. Nobody is. It's your ATTITUDE that makes the difference. And you will learn something new all the time. I've been about a fair bit, maybe not hundreds, but enough, and every time is a new adventure, and I still learn new stuff every time. More about me, more about her, more about women in general.

    And it's all new to HER too, so spend your energy on making this an adventure for her instead of freaking out about yourself.. you'll both have a much better time this way I promise you. Shift your focus and perspective. It'll make a massive difference.

    Ok, so now that's all I can think of to say n the mental side, let's look at the physical side.

    1) Give the porn a rest. For starters if your sex life is all that, the porn won't be half as inviting. Otherwise as I said, porn can't take you on a journey like sex does. It ruins your relationship with orgasm. From time to time, sure. We all "just want to cum" sometimes, but that's not sex.

    2) Start edging. And use it to get familiar with how arousal feels ALL THE WAY UP from start -> cum. Slowing down or stopping to control yourself may not teach you how sex feels, but it will teach you how YOU feel, and it will let you discover the effects of kegels and reverse kegels among other things. When it comes to real sex, it's REALLY hard to stop at a 9/10 right at PoNR, at least a first. But it's much easier to hover around a 6 or 7/10. You'll find this with practice.

    3) Reverse kegels are the opposite of forward kegels. By pushing the muscles from inside rather than squeezing frm the outside you're competing with your forward kegels, and having fitness in both those areas helps you gain a good balance across your pelvic floor. Being well balanced here is kind of a basis to physical stamina there. Pegasus talks about balance a lot in threads I've linked before. It's kind of a scientific approach, but there's a lot of wisdom in his words. Some people have had GREAT success using reverse kegels to keep ejaculation at bay. JamesMonroe is a notable one. And I found they helped when I started working on myself too. Less so if you're right at PoNR, but if you're at 8/10 and want to stop for a second and drop down to to a 7 where you have more control, relaxing your kegels is about the best way to do it. Reverse kegels are an aggressive way to force you to relax those kegels by in theory stopping your body from being *able* to kegel o its own.

    4) don't judge based on ebooks - the best information is here on this site. I'm not being paid to say that, I'm saying that as someone who's done a LOT of deperate research. There are loads of people here who really know their stuff. Doctors really don't. Sounds crazy, but they don't. That's why they'v started prescribing SSRI Antidepressants, because they DO work. But it's not a sustainable way to live. I suspect based on my journey that a short course of SSRIs can really help if serotonin levels are at he root of a PreE problem, but it's not a given that that's the reason.

    Besides, It's too soon for you to say for definite how much of a problem you have as a virgin, you might still find that when it comes t real sex that you're completely fine!

    In truth though, the fact that you're taking the time to make this journey will equip you to be in far more control than most guys. And that's a promise.

    As far as further work or (gulp) medical treatment - put that to the back of your mind. At the end of the day, sex is different to masturbation, it's not necessarily as intense, it's not as constant an experience, just enjoy it, like you enjoy a kiss, but with more squishy bits

    Re your wife to be being a virgin, I don't think I've ever taken a girl's virginity, s I can't speak with any authority, but I know a lot of girls say their first time hurt and was unpleasant, so I guess be gentle with her. As long as she knows you're looking after her and not going to get angry with her or something, she'll be comfortable with you and she'll enjoy herself a lot more. And the more comfortable she is with you, the more she's going to be willing to do with you.

    Hope that was interesting ... as usual I wrote a whole load more than I meant to. Good luck x"


    Another very helpful reply & a proper routine suggestion from Minuteman which I'm following right now....


    "Here is a very similiar situation:

    Virgin/Suffering From PE

    also read this (especially the 3day routine):

    Curing Premature Ejaculation- My Story So Far

    Now to answer your questions:

    1. Feel free to post this as a tread you can also make your journey log.

    2. I am certain you will be able to rise to at least 5 minutes with 3 day routine and by reading the links i have psoted

    3. Virgin/Suffering From PE and Curing Premature Ejaculation- My Story So Far

    4. Edging is masturbation with a specific goal in mind. Let say that your goal is to mastubate until you feel the need to ejaculate and then stop, then work on making that time longer.

    5. They are like stretching exercises you do before and after you run, or/and counter balance exercises you do to make your pelvic floor return to balance, for many they have been a lot of help.

    6. Reverse kegels are not so well documented, but then again many things here are not and yet are effective.

    7. Form this point on i would suggest to stop watching porn all together. Also as with naj, you should have came and asked for help a little bit earlier, but it is never to late.

    8. Most people in this forum are against any medical usage, so if you opt to follow mine advice you will need no medicine or drugs.

    9. The best way to do it solo is simply to gain better understanding on how your arousal works, but without the effect of porn which warps that understanding. The main thing to remember is to get used to your own naked body (if you are not comfortable with it), also spending more time with her in general will also help, naked or not naked she is still a same person. Also take your time when you are with her during foreplay, there really is no rush, get to know her body and let her get to know yours, when you feel you are overstimulated focus more on her, or just slowly stop her from doing what makes you overaroused. I mean it will be her first experience with a naked man, and it is not that you didn't watch enough porn so that you have no idea how a female naked body looks.

    10. In case you didn't know i am a virgin too, so knowledge of sex you should seek of other more experienced members. But generally since you are both virgins how you preform isn't that important. Use a lot of lube and go slow, lots of foreplay ect, are the most commons sense suggestions/advices. Also when you first enter her vagina don't pump like crazy, be still and simply make out with her with you penis inside of her not moving, get used to that sensation.

    So, go ahead and open the topic on the premature ejaculation sub forum and ask other members also for their oppinion in the mean time read the two links and also stop watching porn."
    "When the Premature Ejaculation is over...then you have my permission to fuck" lol

  • #2
    So after reading all these helpful replies & changing my way of thinking about sex & over all situation I started out with a 3 day routine suggested by Minuteman this was the experience followed by their answers once again....

    This was my first experience EVER to masturbate without porn...

    First of all I got some control on RK & stopped the Kegel routine for few days to see the change, so here's what happened.

    Day 1:

    On saturday, I started edging using baby oil with physical stimulation & NO erotic thoughts in mind, all that time my mind was focused on the things happening in & around the my penis (Pelvic floor)
    I started with simple start & stop technique.
    After first 10-15 minutes i felt little excitement or arousal so i stopped. i was little surprised to notice i did edge for 10-15 mins (I was looking at watch whole my edging session but mostly when i stopped)
    So during my first stop which was about 1 minute or so, i just lay down, relax, breath deeply & do some RKs (no Ks during whole session at all)
    I started again and this time i added heavy belly breathing & some RKs during edging as well.
    I constantly kept changing positions (standing, on knees & lay down).
    and i got over 30 mins easily and had to stop cause either i was exhausted or felt little more aroused (but no urge to come at all)
    Whenever i felt little urge, i stopped relax, breathe RK & start again.
    I had to leave so after 40-45 minutes i set a target to edge for 1 hour keeping the same routine (changing positions, stop, relax, breathe & RK)

    I was completely SURPRISED that i edge for 1 HOUR & never got to PONR AT ALL...WOW..what an experience & gave me HUGE confidence. I took shower & left out with friends with no feel to cum at all.
    Here are few things i noticed during 1 hour edging session and i would be so thankful if you can answer or each one by one.
    1. Arousal lever goes high up if not breathing or RK at all
    2. Feel intense involuntary kegel whenever Frenulum is directly stimulated (almost impossible to avoid)
    3. Much easy to edge while standing & on knees as compared to laying down (arousal goes high while lay down as i cant keep my hip relax)
    4. Edge & RK at the same time gives high erection & more control
    5. Tried to keep the pelvic floor simply relax or RK during whole 1 hour & it was very effective in a good way (but using my hand)
    6. BUT whenever i tried to do a thrust motion & keeping the hand still, felt HUGE tension in pelvic floor & no way to avoid it & it also lead to high arousal & urge to cum so i had to stop every time i did this
    7. Most of the stops i made very either due to direct & over stimulation of Frenulum & glans or trying to do thrust motion
    8. and also my erection was going up & down again & again, i was UNABLE to maintain a proper erection when relax or breathing only.
    9. Though most of my edging was based on the shaft area & very less glan & frenulum but still i felt so good to edge for 1 hour as it was my first time & still feel relax (not horny at all)

    2nd Day:

    Almost same routine on sunday, again keeping in mind 1 hour goal, but on 2nd day i was feeling little bit more horny & my arousal was going high over & over again but still i made it to 1 hour.
    BUT I think i reached to PONR and i felt that the base of my penis is or has started to filled with semen cause this time urge to come was stronger but still i managed not to come & left out but

    1. I felt very uncomfortable for next 2 3 hours
    2. Whenever i tried to urinate, I felt burning for few hours (as i read previously it happens after sex or maturation if urine & semen get mixed)
    3. I was going to washroom again & again and every time it felt like little drops of semen are coming out or may be not (i am not sure)
    4. Later i though i would have ejaculated during edging but anyway.

    3rd Day:

    Sorry I didn't get time for edge 3rd day i was so busy. lol

    What I learned or experienced from these 2 days session is that most of my PE issue is based on over arousal as i was always masturbating to porn which turns me on too much & i last just for few seconds but this is just my assumption.
    Or may be breathing, relaxing & RKs has helped me a lot.
    As there was no visual stimulation so my arousal level was like going no where during edging session or you can say not horny at all.
    I felt good to have 1 hour session but still i am not sure what will happen next.

    So i request you to suggest me what to do.
    Continue this routine for few days or weeks?
    Add some fantasy or visual stimulation?
    How to avoid involuntary kegels from frenulum, glans & thrusting motion?
    and what should i do next, how to proceed?

    Thanks a lot

    Now followed by the answers of guys to this 2 days of workup...

    First reply is from Minuteman which was very helpful as usual...

    "
    First, a common pit fall for many people with premature ejaculation is over-analysis of the situation. The point of the 3day routine is to make you and your body more used to sensations and arousal, don't bother much with kegels and stuff, but try to observe what your body does (like you did to a point). Also remmeber that arousal isn't your enemy, you are just not used to higher levels of arousal, as you progress the goal is to get used to it to some point and to learn how to accept it and control it. Also note that you should be, as you do your 3 day routine for about a month or so, tend to stroke all of your penis, but gradual progress is never the less a good idea.

    As before I suggest you to open a topic in the forum and copy/paste both of the pm so that other may benefit and not just you, because in the same way you feel confident and glad for somebody helping you, maybe somebody will feel the same because you shared the experience, there is nothing to be ashamed of in this situation but the shame itself.

    Also since you didn't finish the first 3day routine I suggest you do it in full, most if not all things you ask me you will be able to find out on your own as you learn how your body works, there is a point of ejaculating on a third day after 2 days of stimulation.

    What you had in your second day was a failed dry orgasm (so to speak), it is a MMO technique that you should not attempt, do not try to shut down your ejaculation, if you feel the ejaculation coming and you can't avoid it (like during that second day) just let it go and ejaculate.

    Request? , Anyway first finish the 3day routine, try not to over-analyze, and open a topic so that others may read, share the experience and maybe even help more."

    Another long but very helpful read & always confidence building & boosting reply from Mr. Spanky

    "Hey man, you're doing GREAT Get ready for the best journey of your life.

    See my experience was slightly different to yours. I already had something of an active sex life, but I had PreE come on gradually. I have some different thoughts now about the how and why, but that's not really the point. Ultimately though it led to the end of my then relationship. In retrospect, that was probably for the best and that relationship was probably not for me. Thing is I had had a fulfilling sex life in the past, or at least I thought I did, so while I tried to beat my PreE, I was trying to get back to where I was before. I think now that that was the wrong thing to do, because my sex life now is so, SO much better. I know myself much better, I have (and give) way more pleasure than I ever did before, and I know it's all only going to get better too. I'm kind of envious of you actually, because I wish I'd had this journey twenty years ago!

    Anyway.. your questions..

    1. Arousal lever goes high up if not breathing or RK at all - ok I'm guessing here, but I think that's all psychological, and it's because you're concentrating just on your journey towards PoNR rather than just exploring the sensations. That is probably a good thing for you right now as you're learning, and I don't you'll find this if you let yourself just feel the pleasure without worrying about it. Plus during sex, if you're good, you won't be thinking about yourself in that way, you'll be in the moment with her

    2. Feel intense involuntary kegel whenever Frenulum is directly stimulated (almost impossible to avoid) - Yeah, I got that too. You CAN overcome that. I'd suggest trying to concentrate on stopping those involuntaries as much as you can. It's harder if you're bringing them on by stimulating your most sensitive parts too, so don't get frustrated if you can't, they're pretty normal, but I think you will in time. Personally I found it was actually quite easy, though I may be unusual in that. It's also possible that they become weaker and easier to overcome as your pelvic floor gets fitter, so doing your kegels and RKs may help. Certainly at first. Best way I suggest is to consciously relax that kegel muscle as much as you can - it's a bit like stopping hiccups. It may be that I held a gentle RK at the time and that's how I beat them but I wasn't deliberately doing that. I'd know I stopped one though, because you feel it, you feel the energy that would have tensed up your kegel spreading out instead. It's really quite nice.

    The other way to beat them, which I had a lot of success with, is Minuteman's approach where when you have an involuntary, you hold the kegel yourself for a few seconds, kind of to overpower the involuntary and tell your body that it's under your control. Then release. And you'll release further and more relaxed than you were before. That's where you want to be. THAT relaxed. When you're in that place, I think it's effortless to control yourself. Now I know it's not easy to stay in that place, but that place is gold. And it's kind of what holding an RK helps you get to.

    I still get involuntaries occasionally. It's fine. But what I don't have now is uncontrollable twitching like I used to have. That's basically a sign of a poorly toned pelvic floor, and it will be a problem. It might be just a symptom rather than a cause, I don't know. But really do try to work on them because either way, they don't help.

    3. Much easy to edge while standing & on knees as compared to laying down (arousal goes high while lay down as i cant keep my hip relax) - OK, interesting, I can't say I noticed that difference myself. But it's your body, and you have to learn about it, I can't tell you everything

    4. Edge & RK at the same time gives high erection & more control - Yeah, same here. I don't really edge any more, but I do RK sometimes to help my erection.

    5. Tried to keep the pelvic floor simply relax or RK during whole 1 hour & it was very effective in a good way (but using my hand) -Again, same here, and kind of what I said up there about involuntaries. That's where you want to be. It'll become automatic with time and you won't even think about it.

    6. BUT whenever i tried to do a thrust motion & keeping the hand still, felt HUGE tension in pelvic floor & no way to avoid it & it also lead to high arousal & urge to cum so i had to stop every time i did this - This may be harder to work with when lying down, that thrust motion, especially if you're squeezing your butt as you do it, cos that's going to tense up your kegels too, and that will drive you forward. Best thing I can suggest is practice here.

    Interestingly, I find (or I did at first) doggy style easier than missionary for precisely that reason, because on my knees or standing up I can thrust more smoothly and without tensing my pelvic floor at the time, but with missionary I'm really squeezing and tensing as I thrust. Now I'm a tall bloke, and my last regular GF was really short, so that made things worse in missionary, and the girl I'm seeing at the moment is closer my height which makes things easier. You'll fond your way here though. Practice practuce practice

    7. Most of the stops i made very either due to direct & over stimulation of Frenulum & glans or trying to do thrust motion - Again, practice makes perfect. I'm sure you'll find this far easier over time. When I started edging I deiberately trie to do the mowt sensitive things so as to test myself. That may have helped me, I'm not sure, but I typically edged dry, with my foreskin pulled back. Try Ballooning as well. I think that will help. Plus, the ore actual sex you're having, I'm confident you'll find that settles down.

    8. and also my erection was going up & down again & again, i was UNABLE to maintain a proper erection when relax or breathing only. - Yeah again, that happens. Try viagra if you like, but you'll be fine. The trick is not necessarily to expect everything to be perfect overnight, it's about you getting used to yourself and learning about your own response. I can't give you a 100% roadmap to yourself, I, and the other guys on here, can only guide you. Trust in yourself and the things you find out.

    9. Though most of my edging was based on the shaft area & very less glan & frenulum but still i felt so good to edge for 1 hour as it was my first time & still feel relax (not horny at all) - Like I said above, you're doing GREAT. Don't rush it. Take your time. And pay attention. But it looks from all this detail you've got here that you're already doing that

    So KEEP DOING WHAT YOU'RE DOING and ENJOY IT

    Day 2

    Honestly, I've not felt burning as such, but I kind of know what you mean, I certainly know about that swelling feeling at your base, that's totally normal. I think you did well to stop ejaculation from there. Actually I think you probably didn't quite stop it, as that sounds like partial to me. Maybe ask about that on forum for some more clarity?

    Moving on..

    as I say, keep doing what you're doing. I think you're doing great. And I think you're going to be fine actually. Porn is a real killer, because it messes up your view of sex. I think you'll find, like me, that once you're having a good sex life and getting what you want and need from it, the porn will just not be as attractive as it was. Of course it's exciting and all that, but it's just not a patch on the real thing.

    You might want to try Peaking exercises. They're GREAT. I've got this in an ebook somewhere, I'll dig it out and forward you a link or an attachment, however this site works.

    If you need another confidence boost, you're noticing things about yourself here that took me weeks, maybe months to pick up on. So keep it up, you'll be fine. And when you get down to real sex, if you cum really quickly anyway? Don't let it get to you. Really. It's fine. Just do it again. And again. And again "
    "When the Premature Ejaculation is over...then you have my permission to fuck" lol

    Comment


    • #3
      best of luck to u buddy, will be following this for sure!!

      Comment


      • #4
        Hey, something else you should bear in mind (and I'm sorry, I had a good bit more to say but my browser crashed and I lost it!) is that sex is just not the same as masturbation. It doesn't feel the same, it doesn't affect you the same, it's not even something you can ever properly simulate. When you start an active sex life you'll find different things out about yourself, your response, and how to approach it. Obviously the work you're doing now will help, and there are plenty of us here on site who can advise you, but in the end, it's a new adventure. As I said up there already. treat it like that. A new experience for both of you to explore and discover, and within that are a whole load of new experiences to have. Some you'll like, some you'll want to change, whatever.. It's like you're going on holiday to paradise. Look forward to it, sure. Try to prepare, sure. But it'll still be filled with new stuff. Just embrace it, and let it blow you away.

        And I'll tell you what, with that attitude, were you a single man, you'd be a lot of women's best lover ever.

        x
        spanky
        Senior Member
        Last edited by spanky; 09-13-2012, 10:31 AM.
        "I want to go to my death bed one day knowing that even when my heart led me into the fire, I fucking did it anyway, and I have the story to tell."

        Everything I know about Premature Ejaculation

        Your dick is almost certainly big enough. Relax

        Comment


        • #5
          Thanks up2me.


          and Thanks spanky for appearing here as well but from your this post I'm actually confused that either you're trying to warn/scare me or just trying to heighten my excitement & confidence?
          But in both cases I think its almost impossible or at least very difficult to imgaine the actual sex feeling & sensation unless I actually experience it.
          I will definitely keep in mind everything you said or I read on this site but still it's a mystery which will only be solved once I'm done with my first experience and I'll definitely share that here


          And now in next post I'll be sharing my 2nd 3-Days routine and this time I completed it & ejaculated at the 3rd day as insisted by Minuteman....
          "When the Premature Ejaculation is over...then you have my permission to fuck" lol

          Comment


          • #6
            OK so I carried this 3-Day routine once again and tried to complete this time....

            Day 1:

            Previously I did edging for 1 hour but as suggested by Pegasus "Your pelvic floor seems not to be conditioned for the amount of work it is getting"
            I decided to edge for 30 minutes goal this time, so I easily went with 30 minutes edging session but this time less stops and tried to continue.
            and also didn't try or focus on any kegels/reverse kegels this time just simple breathing & focus.

            Day 2:

            Same as day 1, nothing special, still feeling involuntary kegels when over stimulation glans or frenelum and nothing special to my knowledge or noticed any difference.

            Day 3:

            Now 3rd day was very crucial & learned a lot of stuff on this day which opened my mind about few other expects related to PE.
            Since I already knew and had in mind that I've to ejaculate today so my excitement level & arousal was already going high even before I started edging.
            So I had little bit difficulty to carry on for long time & had to stop again & again as my mind was focused on the ejaculation I'm going to have at the end of this session.
            Anyway I somehow made it to 30 minutes and then sat down & focused on ejaculation and started to stimulate my glans & frenelum more rapidly...
            What I noticed was that just during few seconds my arousal level got so high suddenly & I ejaculated.

            It was quite surprising for me because it happened so sudden that I even missed to enjoy the feeling of orgasm and there was definitely strong tension in pelvic floor whole this time.

            So my question is what was that??
            Is it mean that ejaculation or PE is much more related to brain & less to your pelvic floor contractions & glans stimulation or what ??
            During first 2 days I didn't really feel high arousal level or urge to come just because I knew I am not going to ejaculate or I was relaxed down there ??

            I hope other guys will help me with this especially Minuteman because this 3 Day routine was all his idea & I'm definitely going to continue this because it's going very helpful so far.
            "When the Premature Ejaculation is over...then you have my permission to fuck" lol

            Comment


            • #7
              As you can see, you have learned new stuff trough 3day routine on your own. Now, it may irk you but I suggest doing a few more 3day routines, and see try to note what will change. Sometimes repeating the same will net you more that doing new stuff rapidly.

              As spanky noticed, edging and sex are different worlds, but you will be prepared more for sex as you begin to understand yourself better.

              So for now all I can tell you is to try 3day routine a few more times and draw conclusions from that.
              premE FAQ

              Comment


              • #8
                i dont have much advice for your because i'm also a virgin at 21, i just wanted to say you are really lucky for what u have, even if things dont go right your first time just always remember that.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Bane007 View Post
                  ... and Thanks spanky for appearing here as well but from your this post I'm actually confused that either you're trying to warn/scare me or just trying to heighten my excitement & confidence?
                  But in both cases I think its almost impossible or at least very difficult to imgaine the actual sex feeling & sensation unless I actually experience it.
                  I will definitely keep in mind everything you said or I read on this site but still it's a mystery which will only be solved once I'm done with my first experience and I'll definitely share that here
                  Haha, sorry, I didn't want to scare you at all. I had had a few beers when I wrote that! More simply put, and kind of what I've already said to you, is that sex is really quite different to solo play. But that doesn't mean you can't prepare. Which you ARE doing.. and doing WELL. Otherwise, just consider it an adventure, a journey where you get to learn a bunch of new, cool stuff. And remember what I told you earlier, honestly, that I'm still learning too, despite having been around the block.

                  If I'm trying to do anything it's to shake off any sense that it's EVER something that'll be perfect or that you can be perfect at. You just have to lose yourself in it and enjoy it. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad, sometimes it's MINDBLOWING...

                  ... but one thing it's not EVER, is a test x
                  spanky
                  Senior Member
                  Last edited by spanky; 09-13-2012, 10:40 PM.
                  "I want to go to my death bed one day knowing that even when my heart led me into the fire, I fucking did it anyway, and I have the story to tell."

                  Everything I know about Premature Ejaculation

                  Your dick is almost certainly big enough. Relax

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    first time i had sex i only lasted about 20 seconds!! nothing to be ashamed of. it gets better!! If your soon to be wife loves you then she will not care
                    CURRENT
                    6.75 BPEL x 4.8 EG


                    SHORT TERM GOAL
                    7.0 BPEL x 5.0 EG

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Yeah Minuteman I'm definitely going to continue 3-Day routine but I want to add some variation instead of simple edging.

                      What I mean is either add some stimulation like looking at a nude picture or may be some porn video for few minutes as suggested in ByggD's Guide to Controlling Your Ejaculation Response ?

                      Or may be start ballooning?

                      As you know I'll be having real sex in less than 2 months now so what exactly you & spanky suggest to proceed with now??

                      @Spanky...I got your point I was just kidding
                      "When the Premature Ejaculation is over...then you have my permission to fuck" lol

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        How do you know that you have Pre Ejac if you're a virgin? A vagina feels very different to a hand, so it takes some getting used to. I can remember that so long as I was relaxed I found it harder to ejaculate during sex than I did while masturbating, simply because I was used to the sensations of my hand.

                        I really don't think that you need to make a big issue out of this before you've even had sex, worrying about Pre Ejac as a virgin is bound to create anxiety related problems when you actually do have sex. Sure doing kegels, and learning some arousal control is great, and will surely be beneficial, but I think that you're over-analysing this when it really isn't necessary at the moment.

                        Good luck in your journey, but don't overly-worry about it
                        My progress log

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Yes Padawan you're right, I can't be sure about my PE unless I get to real sexual life.

                          But what I'm doing here is fighting with that typical anxiety (performance anxiety) you're talking about.
                          I had a pretty bad masturbation habits with porn addiction which totally ruined my pelvic floor balance & arousal levels.
                          So after coming here I learned lot of stuff, psychological & physical (Thanks to Spanky & Minuteman)
                          After some Kegels/RK routine & positive attitude, it was first time I masturbated without porn & it went for an hour & this gave me lot of confidence and feel that I have nothing wrong just bad habits, imbalance & no awareness at all about pelvic floor & PC muscles & their important functions.

                          So if you're trying to say that I should forget about PE, sit down relax & wait for that moment to come (real sex), gives me only more anxiety & so many other negative thoughts....

                          Instead what I'm doing here with the help of these guys is giving me much more confidence & lot of knowledge (how involuntary kegels effect & benefits of RK etc) which is actually giving me relax mind & positive thoughts that I will be having a good sexual life for sure...I hope

                          Hope you got my point for not wasting time here
                          Last edited by Bane007; 09-14-2012, 10:56 AM.
                          "When the Premature Ejaculation is over...then you have my permission to fuck" lol

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Bane007 View Post
                            ...Or may be start ballooning?

                            As you know I'll be having real sex in less than 2 months now so what exactly you & spanky suggest to proceed with now??
                            Minuteman's better than me to suggest a routine or exercises, his attention to detail is streets ahead of .. well ... basically all of us So I'm not great at setting out a plan for you, I can only really describe how to do things, and how they help - I think to some degree you have to respond and adapt to yourself anyway, and while that might seem a bit bewildering now ... knowing how much to do this exercise or that ... knowing what to focus on and so on .. just trust me when I say it gets a lot easier, and in my experience as long as you trust yourself, keep paying attention to yourself and your response you'll just know what's best.

                            I do recommend Ballooning though. That's pretty much the only way I masturbate now
                            * Partly because I'm exploring my own range of orgasms right now, and this way is a slower and more controllable climb.
                            * Partly because I just cum *that* much harder this way.

                            I think you get more from ballooning the more you know yourself and the more familiar you become with how everything feels. You know, on a subtle level anyway. So definitely give it a go, and see how that works out.
                            spanky
                            Senior Member
                            Last edited by spanky; 09-15-2012, 12:47 AM.
                            "I want to go to my death bed one day knowing that even when my heart led me into the fire, I fucking did it anyway, and I have the story to tell."

                            Everything I know about Premature Ejaculation

                            Your dick is almost certainly big enough. Relax

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Padawan787 View Post
                              How do you know that you have Pre Ejac if you're a virgin? A vagina feels very different to a hand, so it takes some getting used to. I can remember that so long as I was relaxed I found it harder to ejaculate during sex than I did while masturbating, simply because I was used to the sensations of my hand.

                              I really don't think that you need to make a big issue out of this before you've even had sex, worrying about Pre Ejac as a virgin is bound to create anxiety related problems when you actually do have sex. Sure doing kegels, and learning some arousal control is great, and will surely be beneficial, but I think that you're over-analysing this when it really isn't necessary at the moment.

                              Good luck in your journey, but don't overly-worry about it
                              Get what you're saying here.. totally, but I would say that our man here's not doing anything wrong. Far from it, he's taking a journey now (and with the perfect, stress free attitude I think) learning things that have skyrocketed my own experience of sex and made it so much better. As I said to him already, I wish I'd learnt this stuff twenty years ago, cos, and I'm not saying this to show off, my sex life is better right now than it's ever been.
                              "I want to go to my death bed one day knowing that even when my heart led me into the fire, I fucking did it anyway, and I have the story to tell."

                              Everything I know about Premature Ejaculation

                              Your dick is almost certainly big enough. Relax

                              Comment

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