27 Year old with 23 year long Pre Ejaculation Issue. Thoughts, Advice, Guidance.

[Gambet31 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Gambet31]

Hey Guys,

Sorry for the long post. I want to first say this site is truly great with every individual contributing and helping to make an extremely difficult issue seem possible to overcome.

I can trace the start of my PE problem back to being 4/5 years old. It is an interesting voyage as you starting reading all the forms and then understanding how you got this problem.

For me its clear I have had this issue a LOOONNNGGG time....I remember in my preschool years exploring my sexuality and fondling and even going as far as oral tho at that age you have no idea what any of it is. This happened many times over the course of time, maybe years, No intercourse that i can remember (not even sure if it is possible at that age) but definitely recall having a strong sensation when it happened tho not sure if it was an orgasm.

Having gone through that I then learned to masturbate and reach the sensation of orgasm very early. I don't remember exact ages but it was well before puberty. I would guess b/t 6-10 yr old.

At that point began YEARS of bad habits. Get home from school and... jack off. Take a shower... jack off. Get sent to my room and... jack off. Stressful day... jack off. It was mainly to thoughts of girls at school as I didn't know what porn was yet. I just knew it felt good and orgasm felt even better so my goal was as quick as possible to not get caught. Hence I think this is a leading caused of my EXTREMELY high and quick arousal especially with a girl.

I remember being 15 and making out with a woman... just making out and that caused me to PE. This happened many times with me and it is very embarrassing. So when I was ready to have sex I discovered it best to PE before sex just from making out w/o the girl knowing. Back in the day I could keep the erection all the way through sex after ejaculating the first time. This worked great and all the women were extremely satisfied because I could last a long time my second time usually with a decent EQ but I would have to kegel the entire time and think dirty, dirty thoughts to maintain it which is another circle which I think has made my PE worse.

So my strategy of back to back ejaculations boosted my ego because the girl was satisfied but I wasn't and neither was my psyche. In reality it destroyed my psyche. It has been a constant battle and I find myself really trying hard just to satisfy the woman to boost my shattered ego from the PE. In reality what happens is premature ejaculation and regardless of how long I last the second time or whether the woman says sex was good I'm embarrassed as hell. Subconsciously I put more pressure on me the next time the cycle repeats.

In my recent years... its harder perform back to back ejaculations with no breaks in between, just can't do it.

I found this site 2 weeks ago and have done a TON of research and reading here are my questions as to what I have learned thus far.

What I have discovered is that I kegal at EVERYTHING. I sometimes think I hold a constant kegal all day long. Is that possible and is it normal to kegal when doing day to day activities such as weight lifting or golf or just going upstairs?

My second issue is finding the front reverse kegal. I push out the back RK and feel the anus and back part protrude. I sometime think I may be getting the front to release if I hold the back long enough but then I get urge to pee. Is this normal? Any suggestions. So in other words I think I can isolate a front kegal, can do a full front/back kegal, and can do a back RK but can't do a front RK.

Third is that my arousal level is high as shit. I have read different theories on how to control that. Correct me if I'm wrong but one is to avoid all porn and sex to rewire your brain and the other is to use porn it to 'get use' to sex and arousal. Any thoughts on which one is best?

Fourth is my glans is SUPER sensitive. It is weird that after I ejaculate if i touch my glans it is so sensitive and tingling that it almost hurts. Side note: if i play with and rub my glans after orgasm I get the severe urge to urinate. Its an intense feeling to pee. Is this normal? And is death grip best way to get glans to be more normal?

I'm a very organized person and want to lay out a long term plan week by week. But don't know which one to start with. Is it ByggD's or Drummer19's or do I take a hybrid and create my own? I know everybody is different but how long did it take you to beat PE and were you as severe as I believe I am.

For the past week I have been edging 5 days a week for 20 min even though I reach PONR after 2 min. I could edge everyday but should I?

I believe sex should be fun and not have to worry about PE in 2 seconds. I want a normal sex life and I am determined to get there. Thanks for all your help along the way!

[BigO AdministratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close BigO]

Sorry man, you have not had pre ejac since you were 4, not possible, not probable, not believable. You may have liked little girls when you were a little boy but if you want honest help clean it up some and straighten out the story. You pretty much lost me when you said rounding 3rd base and eating poon and said it was at an age of a toddler.

[Gambet31 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Gambet31]

BigO,

You are correct. PreEjac since 4/5 is not possible. Having that situation happen and learning horrible habits which have affected my life is.

You don't have to believe me if you don't want but why would I make a story like that up?

Believe me I have a lot better things to do than make up stories on a blog.

I have this problem and that situation in my life is a huge part of the cause.

I re-read the post and I apologize for adding satire to it. I did that in hopes it would make it easier to read. I can and will go back and edit out the satire but those situations in my life happened and led me to where I am today.

Why would I waste my time writing that or even find this website if that wasn't the case. Believe me this is a SERIOUS issue to me and I am sincere in asking for help and if it wasn't I wouldn't be here.

Bottom line.. Those instances happened at or around that age and have led me to this.

Thanks for your help.

[frisson Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close frisson]

Okay, a few things need to be said here. You were 4 and experimenting with another person your age?

Woopdifucking do. You weren't sexually active, pal. This is all child psychology 1-0-fucking-1. Pardon the language but this very topic upsets me; parents have absolutely NO idea that this is COMPLETELY FUCKING NORMAL AND HEALTHY.

At an early age like this, children begin to "explore" each other.

"Hey, I've got something dangling between my legs. It's weird. What do you have?"

"You have WHAT?" She pulls down her pants, incredulous at his statement.

"Oh wow! You don't have anything, what does that mean? Maybe mine is a laser gun!"

"I'm jealous."

That's about all it adds up to, folks. Kids exploring each others' differences. Sexuality doesn't factor into the equation for a hell of a long time. The whole putting-it-in-your-mouth bit? That's simply a vestige of your babyhood. How so? A baby's first method of identification is via oral insertion. They bite and suck on everything. This is what you were doing.

If, however, you weren't attempting to identify her via oral insertion, you NEED TO SEE A THERAPIST NOW.

Why? Because people that age ARE NOT SEXUALLY ACTIVE IN ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM. This means that you LEARNED it from somewhere.

That said, your constant kegeling isn't so worrisome. If you've done it for as long as you can remember, it's probably strong enough to withstand it now. Kegeling during weight lifting is normal. The urge to pee during RKs is normal as well.

Don't avoid sex. Drop the porn. That shit does some serious damage to your brain.

A sensitive glans is not abnormal. Do NOT death grip the shit out of yourself to "fix" this glans "problem" because it isn't one!

A few final things. You were not sexually fooling around with another girl at the ages of 4 or 5 or 6 or whatever else for sexual pleasure. That's physiologically impossible, I'd say. You might've enjoyed a tingle located in your groin, but that sure as shit did not come from sexual contact. I was able to stimulate myself early on by climbing ropes or poles, making out and fondling would've done nothing for me, or the vast majority of the population for that matter.

You're 27 and you've slept with 16 women yet you worry if glans sensitivity is abnormal? You've been "sexually active" since the age of 4 and somehow this detail continues to perplex you?

You need to be careful with the hyperbole. It is unbecoming.


Just continue along the path sans porn. You'll do fine.

[GoingForGold Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close GoingForGold]

I find the front reverse kegel most easy to do when I am taking a deep breath into my belly as opposed to my back.

If you haven't seen a therapist that specializes in such things, do so. It may help to sort out any emotions that you have about your early sexual 'initiation' as it may be. Such things can be confusing, I would imagine.

[jiffsean Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close jiffsean]

Hey Gambet31, thank you for letting us know of your situation. I don't think you're making up stories or anything, I mean elementary school kids have sex nowadays. What's important is that you have premature ejaculation right now and you should work towards fixing it.
I would strongly suggest with just Reverse Kegel Exercises. Stop Kegel or Edging or masturbating for a couple days, preferably a week. Every other day perform strong Reverse Kegels. Every day try to hold a "semi-Reverse Kegel" whenever you can remember. The beauty of Reverse Kegel is that you can do it anywhere without letting anyone know.
Also breathing slowly and relaxing your whole body(https://www.pegym.com/forums/prematu...se-kegels.html) will help your pelvic floor muscles relax and loosen up the muscle, delaying the PONR and orgasm.
I would start with these two, and slowly incorporate Kegel and Edging(WITHOUT PORN) as you get more comfortable with Reverse Kegels. It takes a while to get used to Reverse Kegels so don't give up and keep trying. We all had that frustration in the beginning, but like all of us you will soon be able to do Reverse Kegels.
Believing that you can fix PE is the very first step. Let me know if you have any questions.

[MovingUp Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close MovingUp]

Okay, a few things need to be said here. You were 4 and experimenting with another person your age?

Woopdifucking do. You weren't sexually active, pal. This is all child psychology 1-0-fucking-1. Pardon the language but this very topic upsets me; parents have absolutely NO idea that this is COMPLETELY FUCKING NORMAL AND HEALTHY.

At an early age like this, children begin to "explore" each other.

"Hey, I've got something dangling between my legs. It's weird. What do you have?"

"You have WHAT?" She pulls down her pants, incredulous at his statement.

"Oh wow! You don't have anything, what does that mean? Maybe mine is a laser gun!"

"I'm jealous."

That's about all it adds up to, folks. Kids exploring each others' differences. Sexuality doesn't factor into the equation for a hell of a long time. The whole putting-it-in-your-mouth bit? That's simply a vestige of your babyhood. How so? A baby's first method of identification is via oral insertion. They bite and suck on everything. This is what you were doing.

If, however, you weren't attempting to identify her via oral insertion, you NEED TO SEE A THERAPIST NOW.

Why? Because people that age ARE NOT SEXUALLY ACTIVE IN ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM. This means that you LEARNED it from somewhere.

That said, your constant kegeling isn't so worrisome. If you've done it for as long as you can remember, it's probably strong enough to withstand it now. Kegeling during weight lifting is normal. The urge to pee during RKs is normal as well.

Don't avoid sex. Drop the porn. That shit does some serious damage to your brain.

A sensitive glans is not abnormal. Do NOT death grip the shit out of yourself to "fix" this glans "problem" because it isn't one!

A few final things. You were not sexually fooling around with another girl at the ages of 4 or 5 or 6 or whatever else for sexual pleasure. That's physiologically impossible, I'd say. You might've enjoyed a tingle located in your groin, but that sure as shit did not come from sexual contact. I was able to stimulate myself early on by climbing ropes or poles, making out and fondling would've done nothing for me, or the vast majority of the population for that matter.

You're 27 and you've slept with 16 women yet you worry if glans sensitivity is abnormal? You've been "sexually active" since the age of 4 and somehow this detail continues to perplex you?

You need to be careful with the hyperbole. It is unbecoming.


Just continue along the path sans porn. You'll do fine.

Just because most kids don't have the ability to or end up doing sexual things with each other at that age doesn't mean he had an issue because he did so. I know when i was in highschool i had a female friend who at 5 years old in kindergarden would go to a boy's nap area or whatever during nap time and they'd explore each other and pleasure each other. I knew both of them in highschool, and the guy confirmed it too, they've been friends ever since they could remember.

Humans are known to pleasure themselves since being in the womb and this is common knowledge these days.

Is it sexual in the same way it is for an older person? no they dont know shit about sex, or what they're feeling, or even feel the same things ... but to call it not sexual, I think is incorrect, and to call it a problem and an issue is very incorrect.

I remember very well when i started getting fantasies about getting in bed with girls and having strong urges to touch them all over with my body and kiss them and feel good in bed with them right towards the end of my 4th grade year and that summer at just turning 10 ... now i didn't really think about intercourse, or humping exactly because i didn't know what it was, but i still had urges, even stronger than i get these days id say from 10 - 15 really was when i had the strongest sexual desires and so just because i didnt exactly want intercourse didn't make it less sexual. Now whatever a kindergardener may feel or want at the time when masturbating close with another is obviously even less than what i was thinking about at 10, but in my mind, it still falls along the same path - sexual enjoyment for a human being.

[Gambet31 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Gambet31]

Thanks for your posts guys.

Reading and writing about this situation actually gives me anxiety rite now. I think that tells me this is really something deep down that I am battling in my mind.

Frission - Sorry for the hyperbole in the original post. You are correct, it is unbecoming. I can only think it was my way of bringing down the seriousness of the issue which in reality is quite dark to me.

Jiffsean - thanks a ton for the RK advise. I greatly appreciate it.

MovingUp - I can really relate to your post. I remember the urges/enjoyment but like you said really had no idea of what the hell the feeling or sex was.

Its good to hear from you guys that you don't think the experiences at that age are a problem but rather a part of growing up. I guess the problem would be where it has led me to today - having severe PE.

The girl that this happened with is a good friend of mine. We never talked about it except once which confirmed both our memories then it was never brought up again. I can't help but think that it led me to this severe PE. She is now a lesbian and it tore her family apart. Deep down I wonder if that situation had a part in where she is today.

I do think I'm going to take GoingforGold's advice and see a therapist about the issue. May help to get things straightened out and answer the questions floating around in my mind.

[jiffsean Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close jiffsean]

No problem Gambet31, I wish I could've been a little help. In terms of psychological issues that are going through your mind, yes seeing a therapist might help you. But in terms of premature ejaculation, just follow our exercises and you'll surely recover like all of us. Let me know if you have any questions!

[BigO AdministratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close BigO]

Hey Gambet, I did not mean to jump on you. Take the advice you have been given. There are a lot of great threads here on the forum that may help you.