Arousal problems

[jimpoilly]

First, some facts: I have PE, 22 years old and lasts about 30 seconds in bed. As many of you I have also jerked off trying to come quickly, but not so much to porn. These ten years I've jerked I never used lube and always going up and down on the shaft with a tight grip - barely or never hitting the glans. Now when I masturbate using lube and on the glans I do not feel anything, except when I'm ballooning. Sex is also pretty senseless until I come to PONR which is a major disappointment for me.

I've tried to follow ByggD's four week program to get control over your arousal as I've heard sex is mostly in your head. I think I've found out my arousal need serious reprogramming - I have problems getting aroused, most likely due to I used to jerk off without porn and jerked off just to jerk off. When I do get aroused I'm feeling some sensation at my glans, but having serious problems keeping myself out of PONR. For example, when I have sex and the second my girl starts to moan I come. I think this is because I get aroused and horny, but my body does not know how to respond to this correctly - I'm sort of trained to come when I get aroused. You can say my scale is either on or off, 5 or 10 if you are following ByggD's scale.

So, since I feel the glans when I'm aroused I do not think its a neurologic problem, since I may have been damaged by jerking hard with the shaft. I just think its strange I don't feel much sensation when I stroke around the glans with lube. My efforts forward will be learning more about myself and how I get aroused. When I think back I'm not as horny as I would like to be during masturbation, or even sex. I think I can solve my PE problem by getting more aroused and thereby feeling more - and then learning my body to respond to these feelings.

This post is mostly to clear my head and might seem a little odd, but perhaps someone has input and experience with this?

[Minuteman]

The problem you have as you have noticed is that your arousal response and your arousal intake (for the lack of better word) are somewhat mismatched.

Also since you are somewhat unused to the arousal spikes and ponr it just makes things worse.

The thing that might help you are applying a lot of lube while masturbating or edging and generally going very slow and sensual so that you can get the feeling back. In the beginning it will not seem so but as you keep doing it over and over in a bunch of session slowly the arousal will sort of reconnect.


A good fellatio with the focus on the glans mostly will help you here allot, tell your partner to focus on the head and to use the tip of the tongue to follow the edge of your glans and the underside of your penis, as with the previous exercise it might not work now but it will work if you stick to it.

Another good technique/idea is to focus on the part of your penis that feel and associates the sensation of pleasure and then slowly expand from that place either with a massage with allot of lube or a fellatio.

A good long edging sessions (about 20 minutes) with allot of sensation and a more relaxed grip will help you regain the feeling. I think you should stick with ByggD and other arousal guides and you will regain your sensations in time.