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  • Success! But not cured.

    Hi all, first time poster long time lurker here. As the title says, I am seeing results with my Pre E problem (thanks to the main contributors to the stickys - you know who you are ) though I still need further advice. This is why I have not posted in the success thread. Anyway, now for my story, I'll try and make it as short as possible.

    Like many others here, poor masturbation when I was younger lead to me being trained to ejaculate quickly, and having a very tense pelvic floor (kegelling myself to orgasm.). Because of this, I was a 1 minute man, and had involuntary kegels throughout the day. This leads me to believe that, for most people, Pre E is primarily a physical problem, with the mental aspect kicking in due to poor performace because of the unbalanced pelvic floor. The reason I say this is because, despite having had Pre E myself, I have never had anxiety problems because, being young, I am ready for another round (which you all know lasts much longer) straight after clean up, so Pre E was never really a problem. I also have a strange ability where I am able to keep an erection after ejaculation, so if need be, I can just keep on pumping - I do not feel any pleasure from this until the refractory period is up so this is not something I use often. However, cumming to quickly breaks the mood, and I realise that as I age, it may well take longer to be ready to go again, so I decided to do soemthing about it.

    Around a year ago, I discovered reverse kegels on this forum, and almost immediately they had a positive effect. I have never actually followed a routine as such, I just do long reverse kegel holds throughout the day whenever I remember. Like some others have mentioned, my reverse kegels do not seem to have gotten any stronger over the year, but they are now a lot easier to isolate and thus perform for long durations - which I think may give the illusion of strength to some people. Please feel free to share your own experience on this.

    Anyway, I used a constant light reverse kegel to hold of involuntarys during sex and was able to go for 3-4 minutes within weeks. Unfortunately, I got stuck at this hurdle, as soon after that, a "wave" of involuntarys would kick in and I would have to stop or ejaculate. This I believe to be the limitation to reverse kegels for many of us. Again, please share your own experience on this.

    I was stuck like this for a month or two until I tried something different. I started trying to eliminate involuntary kegels from everyday life. For those of you who have severe problems with involuntarys, you will know that anything and everything can set one off. I had to be careful moving, peeing, you name it. I also used the reverse kegel to help me accomplish this.

    So, this is what I have been doing for the past year - practicing reverse kegels and trying to limit the involuntarys. This has been in no way a routine, and has been a very relaxed approach to curing Pre E. BUT, for the results. The average time for my first PONR is now in the region of 10-15 minutes, during this, there are almost no involuntarys at all and I hold a light reverse kegel for the duration. I appreciate that 10-15 minutes is not a marathon, but for those of you who had what I had, it almost seems like one.

    So, you ask, if I can go for that time, why do I say I'm not cured? Well, after the 10-15 minutes, I get the quick rush of involuntarys, and then something very strange happens. I have not seen this mentioned before on this forum. My penis "locks up" into the hardest kegel hold ever, and orgasm soon follows. The kegel stays held right through orgasm, and then stops just prior to ejaculation. I can do nothing to stop this except stopping all movement completely. I can not maintain the kegel after orgasm to attempt a dry orgasm, as I have seen some of you mention. I am incapable of orgasiming without this mother of all involunatrys. This is why I say I'm not cured, and would very much like to hear suggestions to help with this, or from others who also expericne this.

    My current plan for the future is to continue with the reverse kegels, and try to limit involuntarys. I may also try to desensitise my frenulum by slow rubbing, as I always have an involuntary when this area is touched, and this could be holding back my success.

    Again, I would like to thank all who have helped me with this, even though you've never spoken to me- Pegasus, Minuteman, imac, JamesMonroe and especially Spanky. I hope my experience can help people who are struggling, and I hope I'm not just repeating things that have already been said.
    Diagnosing the cause of your premature ejaculation
    Edging For Premature Ejaculation

  • #2
    How is your pelvic /lower back region, aligment/posture/tension/spasm,?
    Can you do a flatfooted deep squat?

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Pegasus View Post
      How is your pelvic /lower back region, aligment/posture/tension/spasm,?
      Can you do a flatfooted deep squat?
      Thanks for the reply.
      Ive never had any medical problems down there, however I have been told I have poor posture (slouching) but I am unsure if this relates to lower or upper back- probably a bit of both. In general, my pelvic floor still feels very tense, I must make a conscious effort to relax it with light reverse kegels. The only spasms I am aware of are the involuntary kegels.
      With regards to the squat, I find my heels lift if I try to go past my thighs being parallel to the ground, if I force my heels down I fall over backwards lol. Could you please explain the significance of the squat, it is not something I have heard of before. I assume it is to do with strecthing/relaxing the pelvic area?
      Diagnosing the cause of your premature ejaculation
      Edging For Premature Ejaculation

      Comment


      • #4
        Yes , I suggest you practise deep squat ,yoga as per MarcusHa's thread and ball massage. General exercide also.

        Comment


        • #5
          man i still can't figure out reverse kegel

          i heard it is like pushing out , but when i do this my ejaculation takes place ??

          what can i do ??

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by vetoo View Post
            man i still can't figure out reverse kegel

            i heard it is like pushing out , but when i do this my ejaculation takes place ??

            what can i do ??
            the next time you urinate, consciously try to urinate faster. That motion is reverse kegeling. Compare to kegels,which is trying to stop urine flow.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Gatrog View Post
              the next time you urinate, consciously try to urinate faster. That motion is reverse kegeling. Compare to kegels,which is trying to stop urine flow.

              i can only do this using my ABS , is that normal ??

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by vetoo View Post
                i can only do this using my ABS , is that normal ??
                Yes isolation improves wit practise.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Many thanks for the yoga suggestion- straight after exercise my pelvic floor feels much more relaxed, I will continue with these and hopefully I can have more long term relaxation.
                  However, my main reason for posting was to enquire about holding this rock hard involuntary kegel. Just to clarify- this is not normal? Would like to here anyone else who experiences this, and any more suggestions to combat it.
                  Diagnosing the cause of your premature ejaculation
                  Edging For Premature Ejaculation

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    A physio to look at your pelvic region might be a good idea.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      You're welcome and good luck.
                      Started MAY 2011 BPEL 5 and a 1/2 inches. EG 5 and a 1/2 inches.
                      Now MAY 2012 BPEL 6 and a 1/2 inches. EG 5 and a 1/2 inches.
                      I have cured myself of prem ejac, now I am working on a bigger shlong.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Right, I have been continuing with the reverse kegels and yoga for a few weeks now, and there has been some general improvement, however no luck with the huge involuntary.
                        For some clarification, I would like to hear what a "normal" orgasm pattern is. For example, mine is something like this:
                        Increasing arrousal,
                        Involuntary kegels,
                        Rock hard involuntary kegel starts,
                        PONR,
                        Orgasm,
                        Rock hard involuntary kegel ends,
                        Ejaculation.
                        Edit: I am thinking maybe of stopping orgasm/ejaculation for a month or so in an attempt to "reset" my pelvic floor, I realise this is not a popular move, but i doubt a month can do much harm. However, I expect years of this habit will be hard to reset. I also do not have easy access to a physio.
                        ammonite
                        Senior Member
                        Last edited by ammonite; 08-18-2013, 03:59 PM.
                        Diagnosing the cause of your premature ejaculation
                        Edging For Premature Ejaculation

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by ammonite View Post
                          Right, I have been continuing with the reverse kegels and yoga for a few weeks now, and there has been some general improvement, however no luck with the huge involuntary.
                          For some clarification, I would like to hear what a "normal" orgasm pattern is. For example, mine is something like this:
                          Increasing arrousal,
                          Involuntary kegels,
                          Rock hard involuntary kegel starts,
                          PONR,
                          Orgasm,
                          Rock hard involuntary kegel ends,
                          Ejaculation.
                          Edit: I am thinking maybe of stopping orgasm/ejaculation for a month or so in an attempt to "reset" my pelvic floor, I realise this is not a popular move, but i doubt a month can do much harm. However, I expect years of this habit will be hard to reset. I also do not have easy access to a physio.
                          Normal orgasm pattern if we look it in that light should look something like this.

                          Increasing arousal
                          near PONR (SIK)
                          PONR - Ejaculation/Orgasm (kegel/ejaculation spasms), it is a point of no return, in other words once you are at that very point there is no return

                          Involuntary kegels usually don't happen in an "normal" (normal here being a person with no premature ejaculation problems) orgasm pattern, aside from SIK ones that happen near PONR.

                          Also ejaculation spasm kegels and SIK are different. An involuntary kegel of any kind is a singular involuntary occurrence of a kegel movement be it synchronous or asynchronous while ejaculation spasm kegels are a string of kegel movements that are mostly unbreakable (stopping it a the beginning results in an DO, stoping it at mid point or any time later than the first spasm causes retrograde ejaculation or other failed DO instances). Sometimes kegel spasms near PONR can occur even without ejaculation of the sessions is long enough and it also feels like orgasming. This is of course my view of those processes but there is allot of things there that is simply to hard to define or even pay attention to it, SIK being one of those it took a loot of time to actually view apart from AIK or plain involuntary kegels.

                          Not doing something will most of the time result in a short term reset, since it is your body's natural tendency to it, the best way is to actually counter it with other good habits (like long edging sessions every time you plan to masturbate), taking a break after you sufficiently "installed" good habits might be actually more useful since if you continue with long edging sessions for example then the body should default to that bu this is mostly theory of course (the break after good habit forming part).
                          premE FAQ

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Okay, so from your post in the DO guide, I think this may be a habitual kegel (years of kegelling myself to orgasm), rather than SIK, I notice this as during stimulation I hold a light reverse kegel, which is overpowered by this regular kegel as I get near PONR. If so, the way to fix this is just counter act it with reverse kegels, and to stop stimulation if they get overpowered by the regular habit kegel? The problem I see with this is that my habit kegel is very strong, and can usually overide any reverse kegel I use to try and stop it.
                            I find this slightly frustrating, as I had thought all my involuntary/habit kegels had been eliminated by my reverse kegel only routine which has thus restored my pelvic floor to a balanced state, but hey.
                            I have also noticed that, the longer I make my edging sessions, and therefore the slower I approach PONR, the easier it is for me to hold off this habit kegel. On especially long sessions, I sometimes make it right into orgasm before my kegel tenses up. Not sure about the significance of this...
                            Anyway, the reason I want to deal with this is, although I can go for long periods of time at lower arousal levels, if I am especially aroused, I feel this habit kegel shoots my over from around a 7/8 straight into 10, thus ruining my chances of enjoying the higher arousal.
                            Diagnosing the cause of your premature ejaculation
                            Edging For Premature Ejaculation

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by ammonite View Post
                              Okay, so from your post in the DO guide, I think this may be a habitual kegel (years of kegelling myself to orgasm), rather than SIK, I notice this as during stimulation I hold a light reverse kegel, which is overpowered by this regular kegel as I get near PONR. If so, the way to fix this is just counter act it with reverse kegels, and to stop stimulation if they get overpowered by the regular habit kegel? The problem I see with this is that my habit kegel is very strong, and can usually overide any reverse kegel I use to try and stop it.
                              I find this slightly frustrating, as I had thought all my involuntary/habit kegels had been eliminated by my reverse kegel only routine which has thus restored my pelvic floor to a balanced state, but hey.
                              I have also noticed that, the longer I make my edging sessions, and therefore the slower I approach PONR, the easier it is for me to hold off this habit kegel. On especially long sessions, I sometimes make it right into orgasm before my kegel tenses up. Not sure about the significance of this...
                              Anyway, the reason I want to deal with this is, although I can go for long periods of time at lower arousal levels, if I am especially aroused, I feel this habit kegel shoots my over from around a 7/8 straight into 10, thus ruining my chances of enjoying the higher arousal.
                              Habits are very hard to overcome, that is why you have to really work on overcoming them to actually progress (you said it yourself, YEARS of kegeling yourself to an orgasm), the fact that you are able to find the situation where you can overcome them is a great step but expect at least a month or two of serious dedication and work to see some serious signs of improvement. You basically answered your own questions, in other words go for long period of time at lower arousal level for a few months while slowly increasing arousal levels and challenging your self (one way) or spend an equal amount of time with in a constant high arousal situations, whatever you pick stick with it, some people react great to one way while other to another way.

                              I notice a trend that is more and more prevailing amongst newcomers and that is that they are aware that the problem will not be fixed fast yet they still expect results to come fast, while this is a step up from the typical "beat your premature ejaculation in 7 days" mindset it still needs work.

                              Whit premature ejaculation you need at least a month of anything you have chosen as your cure to actually show its benefits however small they may be, if you are lucky you might get a positive feedback to the selected way of dealing with premature ejaculation very fast but that is almost always temporary. In order for some technique to actually work more time is required.
                              premE FAQ

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