Is there hope? My introduction.

[Spero. Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Spero.]

Good evening guys,

I’d firstly like to express how happy I am to have found a forum where a lot of genuine real time information is available for anybody needing it with genuine friendly members who don’t troll or respond with ridiculous replies, which don’t help at all. I have briefly looked around and I like it, I feel confident I may find information here which I need to learn to help me over come my situation.

So a little about me, Im 23 years old, a hardworking busy lad with lots of milestones, im currently with the love of my life (corny I know... but so very true) I’ve known my partner since we were 15 and we’ve been in a serious relationship for well over a year now. We both want kids together and marriage as we already live together so we are very focused. Here’s the thing… I suffer from a very extreme case of Premature Ejaculation, This is that bad I don’t last no more than 30 seconds some times.

About my PE, I can become turned on extremely easy, touching or kissing each other makes me hard and even talking. Along with this I do get Pre Cum a lot, this drips out not massively but when im hard and turned on. I have had PE from my very first time I believe, I only lasted a minute or so back then. Ive had sex for years and its always happened to me, I can masturbate and cum within minutes if I need, The problem for me is when I enter my partner my penis has its own mind and as soon as I go to pump it feels extremely sensitive on my penis and almost like cum is running along my penis. Sometimes I pump a few times and my penis pulses a lot when I stop and I feel I cannot stop it no matter what. I don’t now what it is, its currently killing my relationship, my partner has put up with it for so long she’s threatened me that’s it. It leave her crying after sex its that bad.

This girl means the world to me and I need to somehow show her im trying, ive been to my GP he said its all in my mind and then subscribed me to Viagra. Didn’t work one bit, to be honest I don’t think they helped me get hard either. I don’t have a problem becoming hard.
On the second visit I was desperate, he recommend I looked at techniques online, ive tried the start stop technique which I feel doesn’t work as my penis pulses and I just cant stop it and then I ejaculate, then there’s the squeeze technique… Ive tried this and when I feel like im getting up to the ejaculation feeling I squeeze and stop, I do this dry 3 or 4 times but it doesn’t help either, maybe I’m doing it wrong?

Im now currently left at my ultimate lowest, my girlfriend is ready to move out, she loves me but has had enough… no orgasm for a year. I can understand! She’s not into oral or toys as much but just wants sex. Im so low I just feel I will never get anywhere. I have seen some topics, which I may read into further; does anybody at all here recommend a topic or starting point? I need to see results small or big within a month as I’ve kind of got this deadline before my partner walks.

I will happily answer any questions at all, about the situation or me. I look forward to sticking around here I genuinely do. Thank you for looking at my topic.

Spero

[someone_like_u Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close someone_like_u]

Im now currently left at my ultimate lowest, my girlfriend is ready to move out, she loves me but has had enough… no orgasm for a year. I can understand! She’s not into oral or toys as much but just wants sex. Im so low I just feel I will never get anywhere. I have seen some topics, which I may read into further; does anybody at all here recommend a topic or starting point? I need to see results small or big within a month as I’ve kind of got this deadline before my partner walks.

Hey Spero and welcome to the gym. I can read in your words your frustration and despair to find a suitable solution. I think yes, you can find the answers and improve your PE for your relationship, but I've bolded something in your post. I think your girlfriend needs to help out with this as well. It's not all on you. You don't last long enough for her with intercourse and hasn't orgasmed in over a year yet doesn't like toys or oral, and now she's threatening to leave if YOU don't change. That's not fair! I think you two need to sit down and really communicate and hopefully one of the guys(I'm female) will chime in with some info for you on how to make you last longer

[Bnip Retired Moderator Member of the Month July 2013PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Bnip]

Welcome Spero...you have endured a lot and will continue to be challenged. You are right, you have come to a place of support and inspiration. If you are dedicated, you can fix any problem you have mentally or physically with your unit. They go hand in hand. There are a lot of variables going on in your life. Take care of the one you can control which is PE. Good luck!

[Dangler Senior Administrator☼ Wizard ☼ White Tiger Award 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Dangler]

We are looking into a problem with your accounts, Spero. and Spero
The one with a period at the end is causing a system problem, and has been reported to our system rep.
If there is any way you can use the Spero without the period at the end, it would help.
If you can, PM private message me "Dangler"

Thanks

[Minuteman Member of the Month March 2013. Find all posts View Profile Close Minuteman]

It is a fact that you are in a very tricky situation but there is hope.

First of all you should really read this book and then give it to your partner to read it so that she can in a way better understand the situation. https://www.pegym.com/forums/prematu...they-work.html

Also you should try out some of those exercises that don't involve actual dry orgasming since they really can help.

Also read this post and try to incorporate the breathing tenchnique in the edging that i will describe later on in this post.

Then read https://www.pegym.com/forums/prematu...preme-faq.html to get the hang of the terms and concepts so that you might understand the concepts better, especially pay attention to the kegel definition so that you may identify it with your pulses.

Now, stop doing the squeeze technique since it will not help you as much, instead you should focus on edging. Start-stop techique is a sort of a variation of edging here is what you will do.

Get comfortable, lie down on your back (preferably naked) and relax try to masturbate but do it with medium pace. When you reach the point where you start having pulses and feel that you are just about to ejaculate slow down drastically and use the breathing technique described in the post mentioned above (in other words on the thrust motion exhale trough the mouth in a sort of relaxing motion like you just dropped something heavy or just what to take a breather etc, and on the opposite motion inhale), see how it applies to you. If you feel that you are simply unable to continue due to the fact that you will ejaculate simply stop, lie don't and wait around 30-60 seconds (you can count if you like) and then go at it again at the medium pace doing the breathing etc.

Later on as you get the hang of kegel and kegel holds and if the pulses you mention you can identify to what we call here involuntary kegels then everytime you feel that pulse you will preform a 1-3 second medium strength kegel hold, or if you fell more intuned with reverse kegels a 1-3 minute kegel hold.

The point of edging is several-fold. Firstly you need to get used to prolonged high arousal situations so that you have enough time to pull back into a lower arousal situation via controlling you pace and breathing etc. Things now happen way to fast so that neither your body nor you can actually can differentiate trough the bunch of states you are going trough. Secondly is that by stoping and not ejaculating right away you are telling your brain that quick ejaculation is not what you want. It is like any bad habbit it simply sticks and it takes time to get rid off. There are other benefits but for now that is the most important.

For now this will be all you need, doing other stuff will just deter your progress for now. Later on when you are at least a little bit better at this you should try this at least once just to see how you will react to this.

Your partner will ending up being the person that will either heal you or stop your progress, so in some part it might not be a bad idea to show her this forum or better yet this post so that she may understand just how important she is for you to get better. You can do the edging session where she will be the one that stimulates your penis, first with her hands, later on with her mouth and finally with the vagina. Both her and you need to understand that you need to get to know her and yourself in a much much slower pace when it comes to sex.

Once you are in tune with yourself, both in relation to yourself and to her your sex will improve much. But this will not happen over night and will happen much harder with out her help. She also much understand that this also happens because you find her way sexy and attractive, and that can make things harder in the beginning.

Also remember that you need to control the pace of sex in order to be proficient, you unfortunately at this time don't have the luxury to let her quicken the pace and so on. You have to start slow by having longer foreplay (focus much more on her and staifying her with you hands and mouth), also by trusting much slower and sometimes even shallower. It will be like that in the beginning but once you find what makes you more aroused or less arouse you will be able to last longer with much less interruptions.

Also here is a known fact about lasting longer. Each man after some point in time during an session (be it sex or edging, regardless of the pace of stimulation, meaning that it can be very slow) where he can last almost indefinitely because his body gets used to continuous arousal. That mark is usually 20 minutes. So if you are able to reach 20 minutes of condituous edging you will experience that effect and both you and your brain will get the confirmation that it can be done. It is a great motivational tool.

That is it for now. Be serous and determined about this, also show her in anyway you can that you are serious about fixing this with her. The more she understands you the better will you progress. If she is not willing to devote some of her time for both your and hers betterment maybe it is a good thing you are deciding to split now and not latter on.

Good luck.

[Spero. Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Spero.]

Hey Spero and welcome to the gym. I can read in your words your frustration and despair to find a suitable solution. I think yes, you can find the answers and improve your PE for your relationship, but I've bolded something in your post. I think your girlfriend needs to help out with this as well. It's not all on you. You don't last long enough for her with intercourse and hasn't orgasmed in over a year yet doesn't like toys or oral, and now she's threatening to leave if YOU don't change. That's not fair! I think you two need to sit down and really communicate and hopefully one of the guys(I'm female) will chime in with some info for you on how to make you last longer

Thank you very much for your kind words. I guess it would be ok if she orgasmed but its getting this, she isn't a fan of toys at all nor self masturbating when I'm away she says. However if clearly this is what she's needing surely she would give it herself to create less stress? My views but i take in what you say and thank you.

Welcome Spero...you have endured a lot and will continue to be challenged. You are right, you have come to a place of support and inspiration. If you are dedicated, you can fix any problem you have mentally or physically with your unit. They go hand in hand. There are a lot of variables going on in your life. Take care of the one you can control which is PE. Good luck!

I hope this is a simple fix and its all just me being silly, i hope to grasp hold of my PE problem and fix it at the earliest opportunity, it is hard with having the pressure of my partner giving me a time and the expectance. Thank you for the welcome.

It is a fact that you are in a very tricky situation but there is hope.

First of all you should really read this book and then give it to your partner to read it so that she can in a way better understand the situation. https://www.pegym.com/forums/prematu...they-work.html

Also you should try out some of those exercises that don't involve actual dry orgasming since they really can help.

Also read this post and try to incorporate the breathing tenchnique in the edging that i will describe later on in this post.

Then read https://www.pegym.com/forums/prematu...preme-faq.html to get the hang of the terms and concepts so that you might understand the concepts better, especially pay attention to the kegel definition so that you may identify it with your pulses.

Now, stop doing the squeeze technique since it will not help you as much, instead you should focus on edging. Start-stop techique is a sort of a variation of edging here is what you will do.

Get comfortable, lie down on your back (preferably naked) and relax try to masturbate but do it with medium pace. When you reach the point where you start having pulses and feel that you are just about to ejaculate slow down drastically and use the breathing technique described in the post mentioned above (in other words on the thrust motion exhale trough the mouth in a sort of relaxing motion like you just dropped something heavy or just what to take a breather etc, and on the opposite motion inhale), see how it applies to you. If you feel that you are simply unable to continue due to the fact that you will ejaculate simply stop, lie don't and wait around 30-60 seconds (you can count if you like) and then go at it again at the medium pace doing the breathing etc.

Later on as you get the hang of kegel and kegel holds and if the pulses you mention you can identify to what we call here involuntary kegels then everytime you feel that pulse you will preform a 1-3 second medium strength kegel hold, or if you fell more intuned with reverse kegels a 1-3 minute kegel hold.

The point of edging is several-fold. Firstly you need to get used to prolonged high arousal situations so that you have enough time to pull back into a lower arousal situation via controlling you pace and breathing etc. Things now happen way to fast so that neither your body nor you can actually can differentiate trough the bunch of states you are going trough. Secondly is that by stoping and not ejaculating right away you are telling your brain that quick ejaculation is not what you want. It is like any bad habbit it simply sticks and it takes time to get rid off. There are other benefits but for now that is the most important.

For now this will be all you need, doing other stuff will just deter your progress for now. Later on when you are at least a little bit better at this you should try this at least once just to see how you will react to this.

Your partner will ending up being the person that will either heal you or stop your progress, so in some part it might not be a bad idea to show her this forum or better yet this post so that she may understand just how important she is for you to get better. You can do the edging session where she will be the one that stimulates your penis, first with her hands, later on with her mouth and finally with the vagina. Both her and you need to understand that you need to get to know her and yourself in a much much slower pace when it comes to sex.

Once you are in tune with yourself, both in relation to yourself and to her your sex will improve much. But this will not happen over night and will happen much harder with out her help. She also much understand that this also happens because you find her way sexy and attractive, and that can make things harder in the beginning.

Also remember that you need to control the pace of sex in order to be proficient, you unfortunately at this time don't have the luxury to let her quicken the pace and so on. You have to start slow by having longer foreplay (focus much more on her and staifying her with you hands and mouth), also by trusting much slower and sometimes even shallower. It will be like that in the beginning but once you find what makes you more aroused or less arouse you will be able to last longer with much less interruptions.

Also here is a known fact about lasting longer. Each man after some point in time during an session (be it sex or edging, regardless of the pace of stimulation, meaning that it can be very slow) where he can last almost indefinitely because his body gets used to continuous arousal. That mark is usually 20 minutes. So if you are able to reach 20 minutes of condituous edging you will experience that effect and both you and your brain will get the confirmation that it can be done. It is a great motivational tool.

That is it for now. Be serous and determined about this, also show her in anyway you can that you are serious about fixing this with her. The more she understands you the better will you progress. If she is not willing to devote some of her time for both your and hers betterment maybe it is a good thing you are deciding to split now and not latter on.

Good luck.

A brilliant reply, thank you so much for putting in the effort to write this and help me begin. With the method recommended edging, do i slow when i feel my pelvic spasm or when i feel it is about to do that? I will read the article's provided thoroughly thank you for taking the time in finding them and linking them. This is brilliant and gives me upmost confidence.

Currently when i masturbate i can last around 5 minutes, my thoughts are of the actual end session which may be bad i should focus on time. Before i ejaculate i tend to let go and leave it for 30 seconds and carry on, however not edging properly so i will try edging.

With edging, how many times do i edge to ejaculation before actually ejaculating? When my partner wants sex and try do i try this too like stop technique?

Kindest regards

[second lensman Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close second lensman]

Someone's words are golden.
Personally I think she should be proud that she turns you on so well.

[Minuteman Member of the Month March 2013. Find all posts View Profile Close Minuteman]

The first thing anyone should do with edging is to try and last as long as he can just so that he can actually experience lasting longer. That feeling is enough to bring hopes up for a long while.

In this post I describe a technique that might help you last longer, so read it and try it out. For other things lets not rush to much and lets take one thing at a time.

So

- When edging try out the technique described in this post and in my previous post

- Read the book (it is very short and to the point) to get the ideas what to do with your partner and to get the overall feeling for the situation. Also read the topics connected to the book for more insight

- Read the premE FAQ so that you can somewhat get updated on what we know and on the terminology

For now complete this get your thoughts about all this in order post here your progress and we will try and point you in the right direction concerning your progress.

[Andros Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Andros]

Aren't there some desensitizing creams you could try? At least for some short term benefits?

That's crazy that your gf doesn't like masturbation or toys. That's a lot of pressure to try to get a woman to cum just on penetration alone. I don't think a 14" penis would even do it for more women.

[camaro Senior Member Member of the month June 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close camaro]

Work hard my friend, and you will succeed.

[D.King Member Find all posts View Profile Close D.King]

Hello mate welcome to the gym,

First off let me say I suffer from premature ejaculation, I have to keep start and stopping every time I go deep inside. I used Pau Yuen Tong Balm it's bloody brilliant. I used it the other day and had written a thread about it this morning in the premature ejaculation section, Go and have a read. It highlights my experience with it, you only need the tiniest amount. This will be good whilst you start you rehabilitation process just like what I am doing (not that I've started it yet) I'm lazy which is bad. Make sure you have a read your girlfriend will praise you for it, I did it on a sly so she didn't know and I could just pound her constantly, it was heavily watching her arse jiggle like crazy.

Ps. make sure you get that balm its natural and it will help you out until you work on fixing yourself.

[Meow_09 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Meow_09]

About my PE, I can become turned on extremely easy, touching or kissing each other makes me hard and even talking. Along with this I do get Pre Cum a lot, this drips out not massively but when im hard and turned on. I have had PE from my very first time I believe, I only lasted a minute or so back then. Ive had sex for years and its always happened to me, I can masturbate and cum within minutes if I need, The problem for me is when I enter my partner my penis has its own mind and as soon as I go to pump it feels extremely sensitive on my penis and almost like cum is running along my penis. Sometimes I pump a few times and my penis pulses a lot when I stop and I feel I cannot stop it no matter what. I don’t now what it is, its currently killing my relationship, my partner has put up with it for so long she’s threatened me that’s it. It leave her crying after sex its that bad.

Welcome to the forum and I have the same PE issues. Good luck !

[Spero. Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Spero.]

Sorry to bump my thread up somewhat but i wanted to let you all know my current progress also my queries.

So, Started Minutemans 3 day exercise, This feels good and gives me confidence in doing it. I just need to question at what point to stop masturbating, the PONR or pre PONR? When i get into PONR my muscles flex and its almost uncontrollable.

Also sex with my partner, when we have sex im highly turned on and she can masturbate with me for some time however as soon as im inside her, The feeling of 1 thrust i feel im going to ejaculate then i pull out, my penis feels like its pulsing and then i ejaculate. Nightmare. Is there any way i can resolve this or pr long sex for now whilst working on the 3 day exercise?

Will the 3 day exercise eventually solve this somewhat i hope?

Thank you

[computman Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close computman]

Sorry to bump my thread up somewhat but i wanted to let you all know my current progress also my queries.

So, Started Minutemans 3 day exercise, This feels good and gives me confidence in doing it. I just need to question at what point to stop masturbating, the PONR or pre PONR? When i get into PONR my muscles flex and its almost uncontrollable.

Also sex with my partner, when we have sex im highly turned on and she can masturbate with me for some time however as soon as im inside her, The feeling of 1 thrust i feel im going to ejaculate then i pull out, my penis feels like its pulsing and then i ejaculate. Nightmare. Is there any way i can resolve this or pr long sex for now whilst working on the 3 day exercise?

Will the 3 day exercise eventually solve this somewhat i hope?

Thank you

hey . i suffer just like you. i think you need to really pay attention to your body. when your body is really turned on and about to ejaculate there are certin signs. you need to watch for these signs and stop right before you ejaculate.
do not worry about sex right now. i used to be a guy who almost had the same thing as u. i could only masturbate for 30 seconds before i would ejaculate. but now i can last almost 12 minutes masturbating without the feeling of ejaculation. now im working on doing it with lubricant which is much harder but i know if i put my mind into it i will succeed.

good luck