- 10-23-2013 #1
Don't know why you blow too fast? Can't find the relevant information? Read On!
There is a wealth of information on this forum, most of it extremely helpful, advising you on how to cure yourself of premature ejaculation. The problem is that the cause of premature ejaculation can be different for everyone. Therefore, the treatment can aslo be different for everyone. A lot of new people come here, and are simply overwhelmed by the amount of information. This often results in those annoying, "help me what do I do?" posts. The aim of this thread will therefore be to create a collective resource of each possible cause of premature ejaculation, the symptoms and the treatment. Since we will not all experience the same cause(s), we will all have different ideas to contribute. Many of the causes may overlap somewhat, but this does not really matter. If this proves to create a good quantity of combined knowledge, it has been suggested a sort of questionnaire be created, where begginners can identify what their problem is, and provide them with a solid starting point for their journey. I appreciate there will be a lot of repetition here from previous posts, but I feel it would be good to get all of the information in one place. I will start with my own insight, using the form; cause, symptom, treatment. Please feel free to add to this, and your own suggestions.
A Helpful Starting Point:
While not everyone is the same, most people who find this forum have Pre E because of the causes; bad masturbation habits and tense pelvic floor (scroll down for more information). In order to treat these, 2 aspects are most important.
The first is edging. To edge, allocate yourself at least half an hour of free time. What you do is essentially masturbate, but make sure you don't ejaculate. At first, take everything really slowly, and don't use any stimuli is this pushes you over the edge. If you accidentally reach the PONR, stop and have a little rest. Try and go for at least 20 minutes, more if you can. As you gain control, add in faster stroke rate, different positions and imagination. At the end of the session, you can ejaculate if you wish, but it can be useful to set aside some edging sessions where you simply stop without orgasm.
The second is reverse kegels. These are the opposite to kegels. Wheras kegels give you strength, reverse kegels give you relaxation. For whatever reason, nice relaxed pelvic muscles don't involuntarily contract (involuntary kegels) during stimulation and therefore you can stay in control. To reverse kegel, try and push out like you are pissing or farting. Don't push too hard though, its more of a relaxation than a forceful exercise. You can do these in reps, during edging, or during the day when you feel tension in your pelvic floor.
If you're feeling adventurous, you can try penis stretching, though this is a new approach.
-Weak Pelvic Floor:
This is a result of lacking tone in the pelvic floor area. Since these muscles are used during sex, this means they become easily fatigued and as a result can cause a lack of stamina.
If you have a weak pelvic floor, you have likely never followed a pelvic floor routine (kegels). If you try and perform a kegel, you will have trouble holding it for more than a few seconds.
This can be rectified by starting up a kegel routine to increase strength in the pelvic region. However, do not forget to do the complimentary reverse kegels to go with this to prevent yourself from getting a tense pelvic floor.
-Poor Masturbation Habits:
By rushing masturbation during your younger years, whether to avoid being caught or just to get to the orgasm as quickly as possible, you will have trained yourself to ejaculate quickly during stimulation.
You feel yourself kegelling away during stimulation, consciously or sub-consciously. When you touch sensitive areas, such as the frenulum, or under the head, you feel a strong involuntary kegel. Like previosly mentioned, you have a habit to rush masturbation, as kegels make it feel better.
The key to fixing this one is to retrain your response. This means starting edging- taking your time during masturbation. You may also find it helpful to hold a light reverse kegel during edging, as it will help hold off involuntary kegels. You can also try rubbing the sensitive spots while holding a reverse kegel and trying not to regular kegel, though this overlaps somewhat with hypersensitivity.
-Tense Pelvic Floor:
For whatever reason, you hold tension in your pelvic area. Because it is tense, the muscles are ready to cause you to ejaculate when stimulation begins.
Tension may often take the form holding a kegel during the day, at work, whatever. Your pelvic floor region may just feel tired or tense. You may be experiencing a lot of stress. It is generally hard to relax the area.
Meditive reverse kegels are a good one for this, they will help you relax your pelvic floor. Reverse kegels in general are also good, focus on making a mental note of when your pelvic area tightens up, and trying to relax it. You can also try yoga and stretching of the pelvic area. A new approach is penis stretching.
-Rushing to the PONR:
This one is an extension of the poor masturbation habits. All you think about is orgasm, so inevitably, it happens quickly.
You feel that the sole reason for a sexual engagement is orgasm. You do not really feel any pleasure except at or right before orgasm. You constantly think of orgasm/ejaculation during stimulation. In terms of the sexual response cycle, you skip straight from arousal to orgasm, missing the plateau phase, which can contain feelings you will never have experienced before.
This is a tricky one to fix, as it requires you to rewire your brain and though process. You will not progress until you realise there is more to sex than orgasm. Learn to enjoy the feelings of stimulation before orgasm. Just think to yourself "hey, this feels so good". Plan out some edging sessions where you will not allow yourself to orgasm at the end, as this removes the goal. Realise you can have so many good feelings, without actually orgasming.
-Inbalanced Pelvic Floor:
This is similar to tension in the pelvic floor in the way that it causes involuntary kegels during stimulation, which cause an accelerated progression towards the PONR. This theory was created by pegasus, and is often viewed as one of the most common causes of premature ejaculation on this forum, due to kegels being over prescribed for premature ejaculation.
You will probably have followed a kegel routine at some point. You will be able to hold a kegel or root lock for long periods of time, perhaps over 30 seconds. You have probably never used reverse kegels or reverse root locks, and find these difficult to perform.
To fix this, you need to identify which exercise(s) are weaker than others. In the case of permature ejaculation, most likely it will be the reverse kegels and root locks are weaker than their regular counter-parts. If you have trouble with regular kegels, please see "weak pelvic floor" written above. Having identified the weak muscles, start a routine to rectify this.
This is a result of your penis being too sensitive to the touch, maybe because of more nerve endings and/or chemical imbalance, or some people believe you can train your penis to be like this. Because of this, the sensations feel better, so you ejaculate quicker. Remember, a super sensitive penis is not necessarily a bad thing! If you can control it, sex will feel even better.
Your penis head may actually be painful to the touch, in very bad situations. Or, it may just feel exceptionally good when you touch it, better perhaps than it should. You get strong involuntary kegels when you touch your "sweet spots" (please note that these involuntary kegels can also be caused by habit).
Desensitising the penis is generally not reccomended except in extreme cases. However, you can try rubbing things, such as cloths, against the glans or just retracting your foreskin (if you have one) and allowing your underwear to rub against the glans in an attempt to get it more used to touch. The alternative is to try to get used to the feelings. This can be done by using the "death grip" and general ballooning of the head. There are of course creams and condoms which can help you in the short term, but you don't want to rely on them long term.
The more aroused (sexually excited) you are, the closer you are to orgasm and the easier it will be to achieve orgasm. Arousal in itself is a great thing, without it sex would be pretty boring. The problem comes when you have too much arosual too early.
In today's modern world, the major cause for over arousal is porn, since it depcits situations far more arousing the sex would normally be. You may be involuntarily tightening your leg/chest/ muscles, have a rapid heartbeat and be sweaty or anxious. Instead of thinking about enjoying sex, you think about orgasm and ejaculation.
Most importantly, stop the porn. By watching it, you train yourself to be too aroused during actual sex. Then, learn about your body's arousal, and how to keep it under control.
This is associated with people who get extremely nervous before sex. They feel pressured to do well and this combined with insecurities they may have creates a negative feedback loop.
If you feel scared before sex, this is you. If you think that you have to be amazing in bed and please your partner loads this is also you.
There are no physical exercises to deal with this one, though working on the physical aspects gives you confidence which helps ease the anxiety. You need to take a step back from sex, realise it isn't everything. Learn to enjoy it rather than seeing it as a task to perform well at. It also helps if you are comftable with your partner, and they don't make you feel pressured.
-General poor fitness:
Stands to reason, if you're not in good shape physically, you're not going to perform well at sex, which is a physical activity. It could be deeper than this, but its not going to hurt to get into good shape anyway.
We're talking about things like; unfit, overweight, smoking, excessive drinking etc. It has also been suggested that poor posture could have a role to play.
Simple really, change your lifestyle, change your sex life. Also, although it doesn't really come into this category, you need to be mentally fit. What I mean by this is have a positive mindset, focus on your achievements, no matter how small, and you WILL progress faster.
Before reading the next section, please ensure you have read and understood all previous causes. If any applied to you, devote enough time to give a proper attempt at trying the treatments for each. The next section focuses on causes which are, to some degree, out of your control. However, it could be very tempting to just put your premature ejaculation down to the following causes and go see a professional and demand drugs. While for some people this could undoubtedly be an issue, I believe that most people could benefit just from the treatments outlined above. So please, be honest with yourselves. Also, I have no knowledge/understanding of this at all.
For a more detailed explanation of this, see here. Basically, if your body has either very high or very low levels of certain chemicals, it can effect your sexual stamina.
Low levels of serotonin and GABA have been linked to premature ejaculation, as have high levels of dopamine and histamine. Aside from seeking professional help the only real way you could tell if these apply to you is if you have seriously tried everything else for at least a year, and seen no progress. There are also some side effects, as described by sameel.
A quick little guide to what can help restore balance:
Low Serotonin- general exercise and working out, 5-HTP, St. Johns Wort, Vitamin B-Complex.
Low GABA- Green tea, St. John's Wort, Vitamin B6, Magnesium, Passion Flower, Valerian, Glutamine.
High Histamine- Sulfur rich foods (like ginger, garlic, onions, turmeric, eggs, cauliflower, broccoli, red meat, poultry etc.), MSM, SAMe, Methionine, L-Arginine/Citrulline, Vitamin-C, Calcium.
High Dopamine- Seek medical help?
-Frenulum Breve (Short frenulum)
Not quite sure of the link here, but a lot of people with this condition complain of premature ejaculation. Could be that this pulls the penis head in awkward ways, or that a tight frenulun is more sensitive than a relaxed one. The tension in the frenulum can generate involuntary kegels, which of course accelerates the ejaculation process.
Your frenulum should be long enough to; "allow for the full retraction of the foreskin so that it lies smoothly back on the shaft of the erect penis". If it distorts the head significantly, or is painful to pull back, its probably too short.
Surgery is the primary treatment for this condition. However it has also been suggested that gentle stretching excercises can help in the less severe cases. Unless yours happens to be extremely short, it is unlikely to be the major cause of premature ejaculation.
These are the causes I understand, as I have experienced them all to some degree, or they have been explained to me by someone with experience. Like I said, I'm sure there are many other causes, so if you have experience or understanding of one not mentioned, please make a short summary of it like I have. It does not need to be long, since all the information is already out there, it just needs grouping together, so links to the relevant posts would be extremely helpful. Similarily, if you have anything to add to the ones I've already mentioned, please, don't hesitate.
These are links to threads which I think are helpful but not really related to any one cause. A lot of these are extremely valuable and have gone unnoticed for a while now, hopefully this will give them some more attention.
Last edited by ammonite; 01-06-2014 at 01:01 PM.
- 10-23-2013 #2
Tense pelvic floor muscles do not mean that the muscles are strong it just mean they are tense. As for objectifying orgasm the better wording would simply be rushing to PONR or rushing to ejaculate.
Anyway, this topic will be a good place where we can collect both causes and later on questions.
As for my material most of it went in some form or another into premE faq so feel free to read and get some info. The problem is that we are not fully clear on the causes (and probably will never be) but this is the step in the right direction.
- 10-23-2013 #3
- Join Date
- Oct 2013
I am a young guy (18) and I involuntary kegel every time I go over my penis head. From what I have read here I am gonna chalk it up to bad masturbation habits from when i younger and a year ago I began doing kegels without doing reverse kegels until recently.
So from what I read i might be suffering from the effects of bad masturbation habits and unbalanced pelvic floor...
My question is will reverse kegeling and edging over time stop these IK's? Happens literally every time I go over the head even when I flex rks. Thinking I would have to do even more rks since I am sure I am getting a kegel workout from these iks.
Last edited by valeed; 10-23-2013 at 10:48 PM.
- 10-24-2013 #4
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- 10-24-2013 #5
PE Gym Editor
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Admin of the Month Mar 2015
- Join Date
- Jul 2009
- Blog Entries
Yes, my own work centre3s on the pelvic floor and edging, for some arousal control is an issue .
- 10-24-2013 #6
Added a short write up for inbalanced pelvic floor,
Changes based on minutemans suggestions,
Added links relavant to each cause to help people once they figure out which one(s) apply to them,
General spelling and grammar,
List of causes still needing to be written up.
Hopefully I've made it more clear which causes still need their own section, if you think you can contribute, just post it here or PM me. I've also put some links in, though I've definitely forgotten about some helpful threads. I also need to find a good one about edging. Again, any helpful links, post them here. Thanks.
- 10-27-2013 #7
- Join Date
- Jul 2012
- Blog Entries
NEUROTRANSMITTERS are the brain chemicals that communicate information throughout our brain and body. They relay signals between nerve cells, called “neurons.” The brain uses neurotransmitters to tell your heart to beat, your lungs to breathe, and your stomach to digest. They can also affect mood, sleep, concentration, weight, and can cause adverse symptoms when they are out of balance.
Most importantly, this imbalance causes premature ejaculation, nerve disorders, hypersensitivity, anxiety, depression and other mental illnesses. Mental illness is under diagnosed through out the world. A study showed that 42% lifelong premature ejaculators has ADHD.
Neurotransmitters control your arousal, erection and orgasm etc. Each one of us has different levels of these neurotransmitters and this determines our general behavior and personal traits.
There are excitory neurotransmitters like histamine and dopamine. High levels of these cause over excitement, over arousal, over sensitivity and over activity.
There are inhibitory transmitters like serotonin and GABA. These calm your body, brain, nerves and muscles.
Balance between excitory and inhibitory neurotransmitters is very important. If the balance is in favor of excitory transmitters, then you are over excited, over thinking, anxious, ambitious, hyper-sexuals and premature ejaculator etc. You fall in Category-A personality. They have less control over their body, brain etc.
If the balance is in favor of inhibitory transmitters, then you can enjoy good sleep, sex etc. In fact, this is what makes your personality Category-B. They have better control over their body, brain and actions.
Normally, the ultimate balance of neurotransmitters is determined by the body metabolism through a complex feedback mechanism. When you increase one neurotransmitter, your body tries to achieve the balance by reducing or enhancing other chemicals, hormones or neurotransmitters. That is why it is normally not advised to play with these chemicals unless you have some serious illness or disorder.
Neurotransmitters for Sex:
A. Serotonin, its deficiency causes premature ejaculation, anxiety and depression etc. That is why, the first thing a doctor prescribes is an SSRI drug (though it is an off-label use).
Recreational drugs and weeds including opiates etc., also increase the serotonin.
Exercising and working out muscles increase the serotonin and should be the first choice to increase serotonin.
Supplements: Griffonia Seed Extract or 5-HTP, St. Johns Wort, L-Tryptophan, Ashwagandha, Vitamin B-Complex.
B. GABA is the second most important neurotransmitter. Lack of it makes the nerves hyperactive and causes premature ejaculation, insomnia, restless legs syndrome, nerve control and motor control disorders etc. Severe deficiency of it causes epilepsy. If drinking alcohol makes you last long, increasing GABA will most probably help you last long. Alcohol increases GABA in the brain temporarily.
Supplements: Glutamine, Green tea or L-Theanine, St. John's Wort, Vitamin B6, Magnesium, Passion Flower, Ashwagandha, Valerian, Kava-Kava. Almonds, Walnuts are also good foods. Melatonin also increases GABA
C. High levels of histamine causes premature ejaculation, anxiety, over stimulation, aggressiveness, compulsive and a racing brain, high libido, allergies, and low muscle tone. Easy orgasm and high libido is a major symptom of high histamine "histadelia". A saliva or blood test can be done to check your histamine levels. In homeopathy, the term "Sulfur Patient" is used. You can google these terms and find out more detailed symptoms. I think high levels of histamines is a big factor in premature ejaculation (if not the prime factor).
According to "The Amino Revolution" book, premature ejaculation in younger males is due to high levels of histamine.
Dr. Pfeiffer mentioned premature ejaculation as a symptom of histadelia in his book (page 155). This topic is worth reading. On page 160, he prescribes following to lower the histamine:
In summary, the treatment program for histadelia is:
1. Vitamin C 1.0 gm AM & PM
2. Vitamin B-6 to normal dream recall
3. DL-Methionine 500 to 1000 mg AM & PM
4. Calcium salt 500 mg AM & PM
5. Phenytoin (Dilantin) 100 mg AM & PM
6. Low protein diet
7. Avoid multivitamins and folic acid
Here is another document which describes to lower histamine levels using Methionine, L-Arginine, Vitamin C, Vitamin B6 and calcium etc. Here is another article to lower histamine levels.
Here is a list of histamine lowering foods. Some of these are often found in premature ejaculation supplements.
Sulfur rich foods (like ginger, garlic, onions, turmeric, eggs, cauliflower, broccoli) are good to reduce histamine. Quercetin, Nyquil, butterbur also lowers histamine.
Most effective supplements are MSM, SAMe, Methionine, L-Arginine/Citrulline, Calcium, Vitamin-C, inositol, TMG, and zinc.
Avoid: Folic Acid, Alcohol, Histadine, Sugar
Delayed ejaculators are given histadine to increase histamine levels and cure DE.
D. Dopamine is a pleasure and motivation neurotransmitter.
High levels cause over excitement and over arousal and therefore cause premature ejaculation. If your refractory period is low, then you are high in dopamine.
Anxiety, psychosis, addiction, compulsion, gambling, aggression and unhealthy risk taking are some symptoms associated with increased levels of dopamine.
Low levels of dopamine cause Parkinson's disease etc. In this case Macuna Prurens is used to increase dopamine.
E. Nitric Oxide is also very important to relax the smooth muscles and calm the nerves. If you have erection problems or erectile dysfunction associated with premature ejaculation, then you are low in nitric oxide. That is whey nitric oxide boosting herbs are also part of premature ejaculation food supplements.
In today's advanced world, L-Arginine/Citrulline is a miracle for boosting nitric oxide. It is widely used supplement in the muscle building community because high levels of nitric oxide are required for building and healing muscles.
Ashwagandha, pomegranate, watermelon is good for increasing nitric oxide production.
Mineral Imbalance is another important factor in premature ejaculation. It greatly affects the neurotransmitter balance.
Zinc, Magnesium, Potassium, Selenium, Copper, Manganese, Calcium etc., are also very important.
Almonds, nuts are important for healthy nervous system and contain balanced minerals like magnesium, potassium and calcium etc.
Magnesium deficiency has a possible role in premature ejaculation
Vitamin D Deficiency: If you live indoors, you should check your vitamin D levels. It hinders the absorption of calcium etc., and as a result mineral imbalance happens. Testosterone becomes low, histamine rises and you get into an array of problems.
If you are making slow progress with pelvic floor exercises and edging etc, there is no harm in trying some of the above herbal and food supplements. These are just foods and not prescription drugs.
What a typical supplement for premature ejaculation looks like? It contains ingredients to lower histamine levels and increase serotonin, GABA and nitric oxide.
Last edited by sameel; 12-13-2013 at 08:36 AM.
- 10-28-2013 #8
Added write up for poor fitness,
Added write up for neurotransmitter levels,
Edging and ballooning links.
Thanks to Sameel for his write up there, I think I got the gist of it across. If any beginners find anything hard to understand about any of the article, or just have general questions, feel free to post here. As always, further work is welcomed.
- 11-01-2013 #9
Added short write up for oversensitivity, verification may be needed here.
Also, added a new section of general links. Amazing how many useful threads I havent come across before!
- 11-01-2013 #10
- Join Date
- Sep 2013
My problem is oversensitivity and I didn't see much of a solution to that. Next time I'm out I'm going to get a delay spray and try that.Total extender hours: 590+
Gains made so far: 0.00"
Total Phallosan hours: 80+
Gains made so far: 0.00"
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