Delayed Ejaculation...Help?

**mhop18** · 09-30-2009

Hey guys...a newbie to posting here, but been following the site for over a year now. Anyway, for my posting...

I'm a fairly new guy when it comes to sex (lost my virginity at the end of '08). It was all good, but I did notice one thing: me and my girlfriend went at it for about an hour and a half and I had not reached orgasm. I have had sex several times since then, and all of those encounters ended with the same thing: no orgasm from me (though I got her to orgasm a few times very quickly

). A few of these instances lasted 2 hours (one as long as 3). I recently did some research into this topic and I stumbled upon a condition I was unaware of: delayed ejaculation. I read into it more and came to the conclusion that I have this condition.

My question is have any of you guys experienced this, and if so, 1) how did you overcome it? and 2) how long did it take to overcome it? Any advice would be GREATLY appreciated. This problem, though beneficial in some ways, is depriving me from getting the full experience of sex.

**Pegasus** · 09-30-2009

Yes I had it and recent research indicates that it is more common than previously thought.
I used to stud the girl for however long and then pull it out and jerk off.

The cure for me was 2 fold, first I had to use a much lighter grip when masturbating.
Second I was being gentle in bed ,this does not suit me, I found I had to go hard.
Took me a long time to overcome it but with the advice you get here you should find it easier.

**PhibbysHammer** · 10-01-2009

I actually used to screw them sore and then let them blow me to get off. I masturbated too much at that time and just had to get my head right. Do you masturbate and do you ejaculate when you do?

**jadzeno69** · 10-01-2009

Yea PH, sometimes when you are so used to servicing your self, it's hard to find pleasure in someone else doing it. After all, you know EXACTLY what you like. Sometimes women, as wonderful as they are, miss that one spot a little, or don't do it right, etc.

Also mhop18, I've been a faithful kegeler for a while now, and it has helped me with ejaculation control. However, after I delay it a few times, the urge usually goes away, and I experience something like what you are describing. After the urge disappears, I can go for hours and sometimes have trouble getting off, but I always do

. Usually I am able to work it up again with some good kegeling at the right times during intercourse. Also, in intercourse, there might be some angles/positions that feel better or are more pleasurable than others. There are some I know I have to save for the grand finale because they'll make me cum in minutes if we do them at the beginning. And a third thing is try to relax a little and focus more on the woman and pleasing her, and try to get into the whole experience more and maybe the rest will take care of itself. Usually that advice helps with premature ejaculation, but give it a shot.

**mhop18** · 10-01-2009

Originally Posted by PhibbysHammer

I actually used to screw them sore and then let them blow me to get off. I masturbated too much at that time and just had to get my head right. Do you masturbate and do you ejaculate when you do?

Yes to both questions.

**PhibbysHammer** · 10-01-2009

Try holding off on the self service for up to 3 days prior to your next most likely sexual encounter. You'll probably drown her internally.

**werdup59** · 01-31-2010

I've got the same problem that mhop described and it's starting to create a lot of anxiety for my girlfriend and I. She's an absolutely amazing girl, and the sex is out of this world, but I just can't ejaculate. We can literally have sex for hours and she'll orgasm numerous times, but I won't even come near the PONR. The problem is compounded because she thinks its her fault (which couldn't be further from the truth), and this is causing me anxiety and even ED at times.

My plan is to try and become reconditioned for sex by eliminating all porn and masturbation from my routine (I'm on day 4). So my question is, how long do you guys think it will take to become reconditioned? Also, I've been edging and doing kegels for about 8 months before I met her. So I'm wondering if that may have contributed to my problem? Should I stop doing those exercises?

**rosabuzard** · 02-07-2010

good point!

**Pegasus** · 02-08-2010

Edging and kegals should help, remember to include reverse kegals.

**Jackxxx** · 02-08-2010

Originally Posted by werdup59

I've got the same problem that mhop described and it's starting to create a lot of anxiety for my girlfriend and I. She's an absolutely amazing girl, and the sex is out of this world, but I just can't ejaculate. We can literally have sex for hours and she'll orgasm numerous times, but I won't even come near the PONR. The problem is compounded because she thinks its her fault (which couldn't be further from the truth), and this is causing me anxiety and even ED at times.

My plan is to try and become reconditioned for sex by eliminating all porn and masturbation from my routine (I'm on day 4). So my question is, how long do you guys think it will take to become reconditioned? Also, I've been edging and doing kegels for about 8 months before I met her. So I'm wondering if that may have contributed to my problem? Should I stop doing those exercises?

Reconditioning takes months. The body reacts better to evolutions, not revolutions. If you keep masturbation for edging, remember to completely modify your grip. Use a VERY light grip, different rythmm, etc. Or get a fleshlight.