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- 11-14-2013 #1
- Join Date
- Nov 2013
- Posts
- 213
Seems I have had some sort of PE for most of my adult life, im now 45. Almost positive it has been exacerbated by gradual tapering off of sex with my wife, and the ensuing increase in masturbation as a result. As I now know, my masturbation technique was incredibly "incorrect" and has greatly increased my PE. Always dry, always concentrated at the frenulum, and always rapid until ejaculation. I have begun edging, and have no problems edging for long periods of time, and seem to be able to NOT hit PONR too frequently(unless Im stopping or changing technique frequently enough to stave it off prematurely, as Im sure the point of edging is to GET to the PONR, and try to keep yourself there or near for extended periods) RK's do seem to help remove the urge to ejaculate, but only until I stop the RK, and then the feeling is right there again. After reading about all the people having their PE get worse by doing regular kegels, I am in a panic now, trying to decide if I should do them or not do them??? While Im sure that performance anxiety and over-visualization/stimulation is probably at play here, I dont really think it is a "major" contributor to my PE. I am just really confused right now about the path to take, as I wish to remedy this as soon as humanly possible.
- 11-14-2013 #2
- Join Date
- Nov 2013
- Location
- England SW
- Posts
- 16
From what I understand, doing regular kegels in a routine WITH reverse kegels will develop your pelvic floor balance and overall strength (even more so if you incorporate back kegels/reverse kegels too).
The stronger and more developed your pelvic floor is, any slight imbalances are less relevant.
I would say that cutting out kegels would be bad because firstly, you need to be able to feel them, understand them and get to know them. Secondly because they will help to strengthen and balance your pelvic floor.
Perhaps a routine biased towards reverse kegels would suit you as so many suggest.
Ultimately, every body is different and everybody's PE is slightly different so I'd say experiment, get to know your body and try to enjoy making*improvements to your sex life and relationship. The results will follow.
- 11-14-2013 #3
Firstly, if you haven't already, read the link in my signature as it will help explain what I'm going to say next.
I too have recently started a regular kegel routine, after having been scared of doing so for over a year. I can't be sure, but I'm pretty sure it's helping me. During that year, I followed a reverse only routine, which did help to some degree. I thought that because I had involuntary kegels, I had an inbalanced pelvic floor, even though I had never done kegels! Then, upon starting the routine, I discovered I could not hold a regular kegel for more than 2 seconds. Therefore, inbalanced pelvic floor could not have been the cause. I have a theory that you can train yourself to involuntary kegel all the time through poor masturbation habits. This is rectified by edging with an RK, as you said you do.
There is a difference between strength and tension. Strength is the ability to hold a hard kegel for extended periods of time. Tension is generally feeling tight, as if you are constantly holding a light kegel. From experience, it has been proven that what you want is a strong, relaxed pelvic floor. This means doing kegels for strength, and reverse kegels for relaxation.
To identify which you need to work on, try holding a hard kegel. If you can do it for 20 seconds or more, then that's good. If not, your pelvic floor is weak, and needs to be strengthened. If you can, it's likely strong enough, and you will need a reverse weighted routine to work on releasing that tension. If not, you will need to do your kegels, but remember to keep working those reverse kegels for relaxation. I reccomend meditive reverse kegels also.
In short, continue your current edging practices, and start a routine based on what you think you need. Take it slow at first if you think it might have adverse effects. The kegel routine may well have a temporary effect on performance as it can increase EQ and blood flow, making you more sensitive. Do all you can not to kegel during edging, get yourself out of that habit.
Good luck.
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Good luck.
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