need to turn PE / ED around.. how do I start?

[JimRaynor]

Guys, how do you handle edge sessions when there's the possibility of booty calls?

I finished a 30min dry edging session this morning. I took it extremely slow and only approached PONR twice, once around 20min in, once more at the end. A few minutes ago, a booty call came in asking me to watch a movie at her place later tonight.

Forecast calls for 25% chance of vaginal sex, 50% chance of BJ, 100% chance of a hand job.

I'm wondering, having edged in the morning, would it make me more likely to PreE in the evening with the real deal? Should I MB to ejaculation to get the "edge" off, at the risk of performance ED?

Or am I thinking too much and I should just go in and be whatever?

[SeratoBeats]

Stay away from SSRI's. Unless you are going through a severe depression you don't wont that garbage. Sure it will work wonders but it isnt made to cure pe. Once you come off the SSRI's you will experience the withdrawal symptoms and you'll wish you never went on them. And besides its a temp fix, you want a fix that will change you for the rest of your life.. Naturally!

I suggest you focus on 3 things.

A) Arousal control - focus on keeping your body and mind relaxed and do this by learning proper breathing techniques and meditation. Understand what excites you and find ways to de escalate the feeling. You'll need to understand your body and the feelings you get when aroused.

B) Anxiety - this goes hand In hand with the above but I believe it's probably the biggest factor and its definitely whats eating you alive. Trust me I still experience the performance anxiety during sex and its the 1 single only thing that affects me with pe. Once you concur your fears and learn to relax and enjoy the sensations you will last much much longer and overcome both pe and Ed. Again I will stress BREATHING like I always do, very important for relaxing the mind and body.

C) Physical (Reverse Kegels) - if you're like me and you always voluntarily force kegels when masturbating because it felt better or you just wanted to hurry up and finish I strongly suggest you temporarily do a reverse kegel only routine. You need to re balance your pc muscles so you can keep them relaxed and get the extra staying power. Chances are you're like me and have ridiculously strong kegel power if you did what I mentioned above lol. I still think the mind is the most powerful influence on pe but sometimes it can be as simple as balancing your pc muscles that will give you the extra help in curing pe.


Just to end off... For now ditch the porn and focus on masturbating purely with imagination. When you're ready you can be responsible and incorporate audio or visual stimuli but ONLY when you're ready and you do not abuse it to kingdom come. That shit is what messed you up in the first place so until you're ready to be in control of it just stay away from it.

If you have any questions don't be afraid to ask. We're all in this together. Take it from me, I used to be a guy who could last forever and then I turned into a minute man. I have had a taste of both worlds. Anything and everything is reversible you just have to want it.

[jackapplebob]

I know exactly what you're talking about when it comes to kegel holds and orgasming. If I hold a K really hard as I cum, I won't release anything but my EQ goes to a 0 almost faster than if I'd ejaculated. Good for not knocking your girl up, bad for more sexy time. I haven't figured out how to fix it, but I'm just saying I know what you're talking about.

I feel like we're pretty similar with this issue. My penis will involuntarily spasm a lot. I know that has to do with the pelvic floor and all that good stuff, but it's a hard fight.

Don't do SSRI's. I did them at my gf's recommendation to help with my problem. I had such mood swings we almost broke up. I was a wreck. Either really angry or in a ball of tears. Not worth it. Problems disappeared after going off.

I still really struggle with PE. I found that edging helps me the most. And not getting so into it. A lot of it, for me at least, is mental. I get so into my girl that its hard to control myself. As they say, I'm putting the pussy on the pedestal.

Good luck fighting the good fight.

[JimRaynor]

I ejaculated twice yesterday. Interesting experience highlighting the psychological aspects of my PE and pointing to arousal control as a key factor for improving real sex performance.

First time was with the flashlight STU that arrived in the morning. I was able to last about 20min using the usual ejaculatory control techniques, while keeping stroke rate extremely low (2~3secs per thrust). Definitely not a stud, but much better than what's to come.

Second time was through PIV intercourse late in the evening. About 30, 40min of foreplay consisting mostly of me playing with the girl's breast and ass cheeks. No condom was used. Damn, I was a second man. As soon as I plunged into girl's warm and wet hole, I was done. I didn't even thrust once. Just the initial penetration sent me over the edge.

The difference between these two cases were levels of arousal, which was obviously much higher with a real woman. I'll have to keep working on controlling arousal levels.

[SeratoBeats]

Too much foreplay is bad too

You rev yourself up and keep yourself at a 9 the entire time and by the time you're ready to have sex you ejaculate because you have been overly aroused for so long at such a high stage. Now with arousal control you can and will get better at controlling yourself during fore play but at the end of the day were all human and even the most experienced will be too overly aroused when playing with a girls tits and ass for 40 minutes lol

[SeratoBeats]

I'd like to add one thing that really does help however, is pleasing the woman either orally or by finger. When you get her off before sex you relieve the stress of her having to be pleased and this will boost your confidence. Also it will focus your mind and body on her as opposed to your own penis and this will channel that energy away from you giving you more peace of mind.

[JimRaynor]

Field report.

I spent the weekend with a FWB. The most recent routine that I followed during the week up to the booty calls included 5Gs, edging with fleshlight w/o frquent ejaculation, and abstince from porn. I'll jelq / stretch occasionally in shower.

ED: Improved from 3/10 to 6/10

Most of the time I was able to have a ~8EQ erection without effort. If I'm not hard, playing with the girl's breast, or finger her V a bit, is enough to bring me back up to a 8. However, problem still exists in maintainihg arousal, especially during prolonged foreplay.

Also, I'm still not recovered from ED enough to have "spontaneous intercourse". There are many times that the girl was in front of mirror bent over, or on bed with @ss in the air playing with her ipad, that my very thought is to lube up and do her there. However, in those situations, I was not aroused enough to achieve an erection.

Overall I'm pretty happy with my recovery from ED.

PE: From 0/10 to 1/10

Assume I need to last 10min to get a 10/10... I improved from 0.03 to 1. I'm officially a minute man, hehe. FWB noticed and told me good job...

Anyhow, the PE I experience from intercourse feels quite different from PE from edging. During foreplay, there are a lot of kegal spasms. After the PIV starts, the distinctions to PONR is very subtle - in all cases, I felt this "soreness" on my penis shaft and that signifies the PONR. This is not what I felt during edging.

Maybe I'll start to feel more like this way after I break in my fleshlight STU a bit.

Whatever I was doing, I feel there's definite improvement in both ED and PE. I don't plan on making major changes any time soon.

[ammonite]

Good for you!

My only advice at this point is to keep your mind open to other possible causes of your Pre e, and if any pop up, tackle them

[JimRaynor]

I didn't have any partner sex since last post (4 week drought so far... euugh), so all of the following report are solo.

ED: No porn at all. My "desire" depends on a lot how often I ejaculate during edging, but either way I have no problem getting it up solo when wanted. Without sleeping with partner, I don't know how the game will be, but for now I consider no porn + less ejeculation to have solved the problem.

PE: All my experience is with fleshlight. I can last fairly easily for about 20min w/o porn. If I can I can shoot in 2, 3 min if I kegel hard, but if I sit back, RK, and vary depth + speed, I can approach PONR multiple times then come back down. By 20min I get bored and lose concentration and go past PONR.

Now I try to do weighted kegels throughout the day, kegel when I'm sitting, RK when I'm walking about. I want to incorporate RK into daily move pattern and teach myself that is the "correct" way. I have not seen problem with EQ yet.

[JimRaynor]

I had sort of a revelation this morning. I have a slightly chubby build so I unconsciously try to "suck in" my stomach for years now, which lead to unconscious tension on the pelvic floor. When I completely relax my abs, my stomach sticks way out and I feel natural reverse kegel.