My Road To Sexual Happiness

[asasf181 Member Find all posts View Profile Close asasf181]

HI!
First of all, I would like to say a BIG THANK YOU to all of you guys who put their time and effort to help each other. This is just great and very much appreciated!

I have been lurking this forum for quite some time, tried to start a routine about six months ago but stopped due to lack of time. Now I have the time to put effort in this, and I'm all the way in this!
Well, I did start a routine this last month, but had a few fall-backs into porn and bad masturbation, so I figured opening a thread of my own would make me more committed and motivated.

My Story:

I'm 21 years old, and Prem-E was a problem since I first started to have sex, about three years ago. I had a girlfriend back then, but we broke up two and a half years ago, and since then I have had no sexual activities until a few weeks ago.
Both with my ex and with the new girl, I have always came in no more than 1-2 minutes.
Well, this is defenitely going to cahnge!

The Causes For My Problem:

The causes for my problem are mostly bad masturbation habits and lots and lots of involuntary kegels (I used to kegel during the whole time I was masturbating - wasn't even aware I was doing that and that it was bad... So it made my pelvic floor very imbalanced).
There is, of course, the mental cause - anxiety and all that crap that came after I realized I couldn't last long enough. But I know I should just stay relaxed and I always satisfy her manually before penetration, so I am not that stressed during the act.

My Routine:

Firstly, I started a kegel routine to balance my pelvic floor. I am doing Minuteman's dry orgasm routine, currently on stage 0.3. In addition, I do reverse kegels through the day, and always try to be aware of my pelvic floor being relaxed. I incorporate the meditative reverse kegel also during the day - not practically meditating but I correlate the breathing with the rk as stated there.
I do feel my pelvic floor is a lot more relaxed than before (I started taking notice of that when I first found this site about six months ago), but I still get a shit-load of involuntary kegels when things get too intense.

Secondly, I edge for 30-60 minutes a day. I did some gradual edging sessions back when I found PEGym, so this is not new to me and I enjoy edging for an hour and sometimes even longer. Of course I do have to stop many times to prevent ejaculation - it's not like I edge for an hour straight without stopping.
I'm not sure whether I should go on the 3day routine or not. I tried that - not exactly as Minuteman suggested in his thread but more like ByggD suggested - I edged for like an hour each day and came only the third. Maybe it was too intense for me because I didn't manage to stick to that plan very long and fell back into porn.
What would you suggest? doing a 3day program of about 20 mins a day or edging for a whole hour but coming every time? Or maybe I should do 3 days of an hour long edging with ejaculation following by 3 days of 20 mins coming only the third?

I also read about all kinds of streches, but never really felt anything with that, is it really that important or should rk-ing be enough?
Do you have any other suggestions and things I can add?


Thank you for reading this and for all this great information on this awesome forum! I will certainly update here every day or two

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

There are many forms of edging , if you are moving towards mmo the edging shold be progressive in the same way as the k/rk training.

[asasf181 Member Find all posts View Profile Close asasf181]

The main goal is to first be able to last longer and control my arousal. After I'm able to do that, MMO would be a nice bonus which I would like to experience. I do the MMO kegel routine because I think it's a really great routine not only for MMO but to balance and strengthen the pelvic floor for any reason.

[ammonite Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ammonite]

Definitely set aside some edging sessions where you won't cum at the end. It removes the goal of orgasm. It may sound silly, but this was a major cause of my Pre E- the subconscious drive for orgasm. By removing the goal, you allow yourself to enjoy the feelings before it, and you will come (hehe) to realise that there is more to sex than orgasm, you may think this already, but the subconscious mind is a strange beast.

As you progress, you can then decide during the session how its going to end. If its been long and good, you can cum, if not then refrain from doing so. This also removes any feelings of guilt after a poor session.

[asasf181 Member Find all posts View Profile Close asasf181]

Just finished about 25 mins of edging without coming. ammonite, as you said, I really enjoy these sessions even without ejaculating.

A few things I have noticed during the session:

1. After about 20 mins, I become alot less sensitive and can go on easier. Am I supposed to get to this point earlier with some more practice? I think this would be great, because it doesn't get less enjoyable but I am able to stay in the plateau state (at around 7 in the arousal scale) longer.

2. I didn't get as much involuntary kegels as usual, hope it's a good sign. Anyway, I feel that doing a rk while edging might set the involutary back a little, but it makes me slightly more sensitive, thus still gets me closer to PONR. What do you feel when you rk while stroking?

3. Edging faced down (trying to replicate missionary position) is way harder than just lying on my back or sitting. Probably due to the body and muscles being stressed. I want to practice this position later on.

One more thing - I don't get the ballooning thing. In the ballooning 101 thread they said there is a sweet spot on the base of the penis - I just can't find that place. Should I be rubbing my glans? This gets me to the PONR really quick and would result in me cumming if I don't stop frequently.

Thank you guys for reading and for your helpful responses!

[ItsPossible Member Find all posts View Profile Close ItsPossible]

Hi asaf181, I think it's great, that you are on track!

I also thought about point 3. Since it is a whole different way of stimulation, when you are tightened up at the hip section.

But I guess, this will result from edging session sometime in the futere anyway. I see it as just learning to play the basics and will be able to use this autamatically in the future while having sex.

I am looking forward to hear from you! Keep going! ItsPossible!

[asasf181 Member Find all posts View Profile Close asasf181]

OK, some insights from today's 20 minutes session:

First of all, it was a great session! I got the first "build-up to PONR" about seven minutes into the session which is a significant improvement. Also, I managed to stop the build-up and get my arousal down to 7 again without completely stopping stimulation but only by slowing down - couldn't do that before. I had to fully stop only about 16 minutes into the session - a week ago that would be like 4-5 minutes!

I also tried a new thing today: Some of you suggested in some threads that when your arousal level goes up and close to PONR, or when getting an involuntary kegel, you stop stimulation and hold a hard kegel for 1-3 seconds and then let go and this lowers the arousal. I noticed it does work, and wondered if this could work if I keep stoking, and guess what - it did! The moment I felt my arousal level goes up from 7 to 8, I held a hard kegel and kept stroking slowly for 3 seconds, this was intense and got me more aroused, but as soon as I let go of the kegel hold - I'm back to 7 and can keep stroking!
This felt just great.
It is important to say that if I did the kegel too late - like on 8.5-9, it would just result in PONR and then I had to stop to prevent myself from cumming. So be aware if you try that kegel hold that you should do it the moment you feel the arousal starts to grow beyond 7.

I think this is it for today.
Thanks!

[asasf181 Member Find all posts View Profile Close asasf181]

Well, yesterday's session was quite intense. I went on for 10-12 minutes and came by accident - I stopped a second too late. No biggie since it was after two day of not ejaculating, and I will make the next time gradually longer.

One more thing - I think I should take a day of rest from my kegel routine, since I feel a slight pain in the area.
Do you have a rest day as part of the routine or do you do your kegels every day?

[asasf181 Member Find all posts View Profile Close asasf181]

Hi guys! A new thought from the last two days - I think the cause to my PremE is more an arousal thing than a physical-pelvic-floor-balance thing. Two things make me think that way:
1. I don't get as much involuntary kegels as before, and even when I get almost none of them, I get to PONR pretty quickly.
2. I've noticed that when I'm focused on something else while edging (ie reading something or just browsing through facebook), I can go on for like forever.
I know I'm not supposed to do something else while edging, and I don't usually, but it happened today and helped me get more focused on the real cause for my PremE.

By now, except for this one time a few days ago, I haven't had much success with lowering my arousal level without stopping - slowing down seems to make the stokes even more intense for me.
Tomorrow I will read the arousal control guides again and see if I do something wrong or I can add something to my routine.
Any advice other than what's written on the stickies?
Thanks!

[asasf181 Member Find all posts View Profile Close asasf181]

Update:
I see that the second day of the 3day program is always the easiest for me to control. Today, even though I did get some involuntary k's, it was quite easy to keep my arousal straight, and I felt that way every time I went through the 3day program on the 2nd day.

Any thoughts about that discovery? I would like to be able to feel that way every day, not only after one day of edging without cumming. How should I train myself for that?

[asasf181 Member Find all posts View Profile Close asasf181]

Hi guys! Been a few days since my last update.
So I've been doing my edging sessions these last few days and felt that my control significantly changes each day. One day I feel I can control myself almost completely, and the day after that I just can't stroke for more that a minute before PONR and have to stop frequently. I really hope this will get better over time as I really put a lot of effort in this journey.

Some questions:

1. Is it OK to edge twice on the same day? This one day I edged in the afternoon for about 40 minutes, and in the evening I was horny again so I edged for another 20 minutes. I ejaculated both times. I don't do that regularly and I do a 3day program at least once a week. Is this gonna hold me back or is it fine? And if I edge twice without ejaculating the same day, is that good or bad?

2. I don't have success with the 3-5 second kegel hold to lower my arousal as I did this one day about a week ago. Could that be just a one time thing or do I just need more practice?

3. What do you think about watching porn without touching yourselves? I quit masturbating to porn completely and haven't watched any porn for quite some time, but today I watched an 8 minute video and was trying to keep myself calm. I didn't touch myself and I managed to not getting an erection at all.
I think this might help me learn to stay calm on arousing situations.
What do you say?

[ammonite Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ammonite]

I generally don't edge twice in one day but I don't think it is actually bad.

If I kegel with an erection, it makes me more aroused so that doesn't work for me either. Instead, I use either a continous light reverse kegel to lower my arosual, or a strong reverse kegel when involuntaries happen.

[asasf181 Member Find all posts View Profile Close asasf181]

Thank you for the answer ammonite!
I also use the light reverse kegel most of the time, but a strong rk seem to get me very aroused if I keep stroking.
I experienced with a strong kegel for just a few seconds and it felt good on one session, but I haven't managed to repeat that.

Also, I edited my last post and added a question. I will be glad to know your opinion about it

[ammonite Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ammonite]

Yeah, I also often have to stop stroking for the hard RK to work, but I generally only use it as a last resort at high arosual levels.

I actually do not know what the effect of porn without masturbation will be, but I have heard it mentioned before in some arousal control threads, could be useful.

I try and stay away from porn completely, as the temptation is too great.

[asasf181 Member Find all posts View Profile Close asasf181]

My session today was just.. awful.
I had a really lousy EQ throughout almost the whole session. I did get full erection for short periods during the session, but it subsided and went kinda limp pretty fast. Maybe it's because I did my kegel routine not long before the session, but I'm not sure about it because I felt it was hard for me to get an erection the whole day.
By the way, when I did get a full erection it was a really short way to PONR, so I can't even say I've become a DEer.

I hope this thing won't repeat.