Edging For Premature Ejaculation

Excellent news OHW, well done! A lot of people comment about starting slow, this really seems to work. In terms of plateau edging, it is suggested to always build arousal gradually, especially at first, because a rapid build in arousal often leads to missing out plateau and skipping straight to orgasm. You've got to almost slip gently into plateau. Presumably it will get easier with time as the body gets used to going into plateau, and eventually it should become natural. So yeah, taking it slow and letting yourself acclimatise seems good. After all, once you're in plateau, you will have much more control. Did you feel as if you were in plateau?

For your edging, I would say just try and add missionary in gradually. So just do, say a minute of missionary in the middle of your edging session, and when you become too tense, switch back to an easier position. Maybe overtime you'll be able to go longer in missionary. This will allow you to practice missionary without compromising the rest of your edging routine.

Thank you ammonite for this thred, I think it's pure gold. I truly think this is the way to go, I too remember being a younger version of myself and having to FORCE myself to orgasm by clnching my legs and other muscles hard, and oftentimes I would even go so numb that it would be impossible for me to orgasm.
This habit went on and on for years and years, and for the past couple of months I have been going backwards trying to reverse all the things I believe have made me prematurely ejaculate.
I quit porn (I didn't watch porn back then. I was living at home and scared of getting caught!) and I have started edging in the manner that this thread suggests. Not going from PONR to PONR, but by prolonging the time before I reach PONR. I go on for 20+ minutes, and aim to finish the session before my first PONR.

I have managed to find my plateau, and it's truly an amazing feeling. I was too familiar with feeling next to nothing and then shooting up straight to the PONR.

amazing thred, and I suggest everyone of you follow the ideas shared here!

Thank you for your kind words and well done on your success!

Do you have any tips about how you managed to find your plateau, because advising people on how to find it is really difficult because everyone is different. Also, this is a sensation many people either will never have experienced or haven't experienced for a very long time. It generally requires a lot of effort to do.

Hmm, it is indeed a tough one to explain. For me, I think it took about a couple of months of ''prolonging the phase before PONR edingd'' to find a comfortable plateau where it would feel really good but I also had control.
I don't think there is another way to find your plateau other than doing this kind of edging long enough. Keep at it, control your IK's and sooner or later you will be able to identify your plateau. You know you're there where you feel good, but also in control.

Seems to be a combination of dealing with any IK, then completely removing orgasm from the picture. Makes sense, if focusing on orgasm is what got you to this situation in the first place, then doing the opposite should reverse the effects- completely ignoring orgasm.

Of course, you need to ejaculate every now and then to clear the pipes out so to speak, but perhaps it is a good idea to leave ejaculation for sex/ only ejaculate after some sessions. Minuteman has his 3 day routine on this idea.

Quick question as I haven't finished reading the whole thread yet: is lubricant preferable/necessary when edging this way for premature ejaculation, or would that be a step on the edging progression ladder?

I believe that ultimately you should go with lube, because you don't stick your penis in a dry vagina, right? At least I fucking hope not! But at first using lube might push you to PONR too soon, thus making the exercise useless. So, listen to your body.
I would suggest starting the use of lube when you have found your plateau.

For those of you unconvinced that psychology has an effect on your Pre E, last night I did a little experiment which proves, for me at least, that mine is at least 90% psychological (However, I do have pretty good pelvic floor balance now).

I started off by getting myself aroused with about 10 minutes or so just edging normally. Then I got a single erotic picture up on my phone. I continued edging, but really focused on this picture, her breasts, ass and legs etc, just thinking about how hot it was and how good it would be to have sex with someone this hot. This was challenging for me since I normally just use imagination, but I managed to stay in control and get into a good plateau.

Then, without changing my edging style or speed at all, I began to think about cumming all over her. I reached the PONR in under 30 seconds. I did this twice more, with similar effects both times. I changed nothing, except stopped thinking about her, and started thinking about orgasm. As soon as I thought about ejaculation I could almost feel the sperm building up in my testes and travelling up the shaft, before my pelvic floor started to tense uncontrollably. All of this triggered only by the thought of orgasm and ejaculation.

This experiment reminded me of a post dobby made not long ago about imagery. He said you can't let the images control you, you must control them. How you respond to the images and what thought connections you make dictates your ability to stay in control.

My interpretation of this is that premature ejaculators have a fundamental connection between anything erotic and orgasm. You might just associate penetration with ejaculation, but it could be worse than that. You might see a hot ass, and think about cumming all over it. This, combined with the results of my experiment that just thinking about orgasm can trigger it, could be what underlies premature ejaculation in many of us. What I would be curious to know is that if people without a history of Pre E have this response to. Just try getting highly aroused, then really focus on orgasm and ejaculation and see how it effects your stamina.

This problem arises, yet again, from rushed masturbation when younger. This teaches you to associate pleasure with orgasm. However, this could also explain why some people aren't effected by this. I'm pretty sure that most of us, pre e or not, rushed masturbation when we were younger. After all, who wants to spend. 30 minutes fapping? So why then have some of us ended up with pre e? The answer is simple, we are the ones who let the images control us. We are the ones who always make the connection between pleasure and orgasm.

There are two possible ways this connection might be effecting you. The first is performance anxiety. You think about performing badly and CUMMING too quickly. Because you are thinking about CUMMING to quickly it triggers that automatic response.

The second is the subconscious connection you may have. This is more likely and much more difficult to deal with. The connection between pleasure and ejaculation is so deeply ingrained that you think about it automatically, without a conscious connection. You may not even realise you are doing this, which makes it all the more difficult to deal with.

Anyway, this relates to this thread as I have always said to ignore orgasm when edging. This explains the theory behind that idea. It also goes to show that this point is far more important that it have been making out. It may in fact be, that once decent pelvic balance is established, this ingrained connection is the only thing which prevents you from accessing plateau and curing yourself of pre e. Once you have accessed plateau, this problem pretty much sorts itself hot because the sensations of plateau are enough to distract you from orgasm. But many people seem to be having trouble getting to plateau for the first time, possibly because of this connection between sexual activity and ejaculation.

So how do we cure this? Arousal control is the answer. There are two very good threads in the stickys, by drummer and Bygg D. However, I have only ever glanced over them since in my naive past, I always just put my pre e down to be purely a physical problem. I was also put off as I didn't understand the concept of arousal control, with all these distinct levels of pleasure (arousal ladder), and as both threads were very long, convoluted programs.

However, after glancing through the threads, it is clear that underlying the very principle of arosual control is the idea of disassociating (breaking) the connection between pleasure/erotic imagery and ejaculation. They do this through many different techniques, such as watching porn without touching yourself, so that you can learn to associate hot women with thoughts about how hot they are, rather than thoughts of ejaculating in or on then. Another way is to have sessions without orgasm at the end, because if you know you're not allowed to ejaculate, it should make it easier to ignore orgasm.

Anyway, I will now follow these threads in detail, and hopefully I will be able to come up with some simple exercises that I can post here to help with ignoring orgasm and getting into plateau. I now firmly believe that being too focused on orgasm/ ejaculation is the single biggest factor preventing plateau for most of you.

However, the big question is what is the final goal of arousal control? I have dealt with it by ignoring orgasm and getting into plateau. I have infinitely better control because of this. However, as my experiment shows, just the thought of orgasm is disastrous for my stamina. Is this still a problem? Do we need to learn to be able to control ourself while thinking about orgasm, or is this response normal in all men, and dissociating the strong connection between pleasure and orgasm is the way to overcome this response? Some feedback from non pre e members would be appreciated here.

Really great post ammonite!
From about 2 weeks I'm trying to overcome my mind's chase for ejaculate during endging with imagination. It's really hard for me (hugging and kissing images are beated now, but when it comes to imagine undressing scenes, I'm coming too :( )

How about pornstar mindset? I recently have read good interview with James Deen:

"MH: Fair enough. You’re not an expert, but you’re still human. And sex is still sex, so is it hard to stave off the urge to climax during your scenes?

Deen: Honestly, not really. I’m always just able to do it when I need to do it. For me, I just like sex. And ejaculating for me really isn’t that interesting. I mean, don’t get me wrong, it feels good. But it’s a lot less interesting to me than the actual act of having sex.

And usually when I do get off, it’s because the girl I’m having sex is asking for it. But other than that, I’d rather just not come and have sex for hours and hours and hours. Then take a break, eat a bagel, and then have some more sex—you know? "

For me personally, ejaculation has always been the worst part of watching porn and masturbating (I've never had sex). Because when I cum, the fun is over. All that excitement and energy will be gone in 3 seconds of ejaculation and some white cum. I've always hated ejaculation. I've heard a lot of people have sex, but refuse to cum at the end, just to keep the sexual tension. I can imagine all the enjoyment of sex is in the fucking, and not cumming. When you cum, you have to get dressed and go do something else.