Edging For Premature Ejaculation

[Cantona7]

Today was my third session w/o ejaculating at the end. I have been horny all week from not ejaculating the past two sessions. Today, though, interesting thing happened--I was on the edge from the minute I started edging. My arousal level was through the roof. How do I counter that? I mean I had to slow down, change positions, tone down my imagination/cut it out completely to give me a breather, so to speak.

I usually have a storyline going in my mind as I am edging, like hot sex with my gf or banging my high school crush etc. Is it the right way to go about it?

On a different note, my discipline is getting better. I have gone three sessions w/o ejaculating at will.

Plateau is elusive, however. I don't know how to feel pleasure without being very close to PONR. I feel like I can go on forever if my mind is clear of sexy thoughts/stories. But as soon as I start cooking something up, I'm on the doorstep of ejaculation. Everything happens so quickly. Frustration would the right word.

Anyways, I am gonna keep working on it. Drop in with something that will help my case.

Thanks!

[ammonite]

If this is the first time you have tried so many edging sessions without ejaculating, it may just be because you are not used to the sensations. It may get better with experience.

Personally I always use imagination when edging, I can't get into plateau otherwise. However, if you find yourself becoming too aroused, simply stop your imagination until you regain control.

I'm afraid I can't really help you with accessing plateau, other than to re read the original post incase you pick up anything from there you may have missed. Unfortunately, getting frustrated will only hinder you, so as hard as it may be, try to avoid becoming annoyed. Directly aiming for plateau is a bad idea, just relax, try and enjoy it and you may just find it accidentally.

All you can do really is keep practising edging, try our different things and do what works for you. It took me almost 2 years of edging to find plateau, although I didn't have this thread to help me so hopefully it will be quicker for you. Because this is a relatively new approach, there is little hard evidence of how exactly to access plateau. So far, the people who have reported back seem to have slipped into plateau in a sort of eureka moment, not quite knowing what specifically they did to get there. In the mean time, focus on other aspects of edging, relax and try to enjoy yourself. I'm afraid this is generally not a quick process.

[franzjager]

great post!

[Cantona7]

How tight of a grip do you recommend? Also, I only stimulate the head because shaft does not provide any sensations. May be I need to start doing full strokes?

I find myself stroking it really fast. It happens subconsciously and then I break it. Cycle continues. Would it be something detrimental to my progress? I read somewhere slow sensual strokes are the way to go. What's your take on the matter?

[Minuteman]

How tight of a grip do you recommend? Also, I only stimulate the head because shaft does not provide any sensations. May be I need to start doing full strokes?

I find myself stroking it really fast. It happens subconsciously and then I break it. Cycle continues. Would it be something detrimental to my progress? I read somewhere slow sensual strokes are the way to go. What's your take on the matter?

If I may interject.

Full strokes are a way to go since you should be feeling sensations (and pleasurable at that), the best way to feel them on the shaft in the beginning is that when you are near PONR focus your stroking mostly on the shaft with little or no glans, also by using some lubricants you can up your overall sensitivity.

I noticed that stroking really fast can sometimes make you less sensitive during that process, the slow full strokes (with the same grip as when you do it fast) can actually bring you faster to PONR (even now at some point it will bring me much closer to PONR than the fast ones). Your fast stroking is both a bad habit and something that reinforces the "rushing to PONR" mindset which for most of your goal is a bad one.

The slow strokes can also reveal what triggers your faster approach to PONR and can also help at identifying the involuntary kegels, and as the last point it can be very sensual and pleasurable and the more your connect the edging before PONR to pleasure the less you will need to rush to PONR to feel nice, and the more the overall session is enjoyable the more your body and your brain will want to repeat it.

[ammonite]

MM has covered most of what I would say there.

Definitely start using full strokes. The reason you only feel pleasure in the head now is because it has more nerve endings and it's what you're used to focusing on. However, the only reason you don't feel pleasure from the shaft is because you compare it to the pleasure from the head. It's similar to how you don't feel plateau pleasure because you are too focused on the intense pleasure of orgasm; you miss the more subtle pleasure by comparing it to the intense pleasure. I used to be guilty of this, although after switching to a full grip around a year ago, I now experience a fuller, more realistic sensation.

As for the tightness, ideally you want it to simulate that of a tight vagina, so aim for that but go looser if it is easier at first. Of course , there are people who like the death grip, though personally I am against desensitising the penis. The amount of pleasure isn't the problem, it is controlling that pleasure which premature ejaculators find difficult.

Long slow strokes, especially ones which can pull on my frenulum and cause extra pleasure (and IK sometimes) can in fact bring me to the PONR faster. For most of your sessions, you probably shouldn't stroke faster than a realistic thrusting pace, though it may be beneficial to practice going fast every now and then as an edging progression. Try linking each stroke with a thrust in your imagination. Better still, actually do thrust but this is a very advanced technique.

Recently, I noticed that as I have gained much more control, I have a bad habit of increasing stroke rate the closer I get to PONR. This is bad, as we want arosal to be independent of stroke speed- that going faster still enables you to remain in control. It is especially bad during orgasm, I stroke insanely fast. I believe this might have caused a bad connection in my brain between going fast and ejaculating, so currently I try to reach PONR (only when I want to) without changing stroke rate.

MM's last paragraph is very good. If you stroke away really fast, your IK can merge together into a continuous tension, and so are much harder to notice. If you do really slow, sensual strokes, you will be more likely to notice the IK or jump of your penis on each individual stoke. Also, I personally find long sensual strokes are much more likely to cause IK anyway. What he describes at the very end there is essentially the plateau phase, and perhaps a way to try and get into it. Now that I think about it my stroke rate is generally quite slow in plateau as it is a very sensual experience.

[Cantona7]

Thank you MM and Ammo!

Will definitely go with the slow sensual approach. The reason (or a part of it) I go fast is my imagination is really wild. The crazy stuff I do to women and the Sex God I become(in my fantasy)....boy you need em fast strokes to keep playing it in your head.

Anyways I have learned if I keep doing it, that fantasy might never come true. So a slow and careful approach from this day onwards.

[Minuteman]

Thank you MM and Ammo!

Will definitely go with the slow sensual approach. The reason (or a part of it) I go fast is my imagination is really wild. The crazy stuff I do to women and the Sex God I become(in my fantasy)....boy you need em fast strokes to keep playing it in your head.

Anyways I have learned if I keep doing it, that fantasy might never come true. So a slow and careful approach from this day onwards.

But keep the fantasies, it as good fuel and it can help raise the confidence which is alway a good thing when it comes to premature ejaculation.

I find that morning fantasies can really make the session pleasurable and longer in some way if you are patient, but rather than more women I tend to focuse on just one and try to play out the whole encounter in my head from the beginning of the intercourse (foreplay etc) to the very end, this also helps me with pacing since it allows me to go very slow in the beginning.

I also noticed, at the very beginning of my journey, that starting with and already fully erected penis and then going really slow and sensual for the first 5 (or even 10 ) minutes, can really make a difference on the quality of the edging later on in the session, in other words I am able to edge with almost no pauses and to the full range of sensations, the hard thing here is not giving into the strong desire to edge too fast and too long (since you might trigger IKs far to soon). It is a very simple task and also very difficult to do always.

[Cantona7]

Good points. I jump straight into the good stuff. I'm sure it has a big part to play why I subconsciously choose to stroke faster than I should.

I am gonna work on building up the arousal slowly throughout the session. Ideally, that's how it is supposed to be during sex. Will report back with results and, of course, more questions

[Cantona7]

I have been doing slow full strokes. It is definitely harder in a way. Here's what I have noticed:

This approach triggers IKs. On careful observation, I found it usually happens on a down stroke, when I pull the skin back from my head. I am uncut, so maybe oversensitivity in the head is the cause? How do I disconnect these two actions? It is important because with every set of IKs, I get massively close to the PONR within seconds!

I also associate slow stroking with slowing down my fantasy. I could do more wild and crazy things with fast strokes. Last two sessions, it came to the point where my fantasy wasn't arousing enough and I just stroked away to make sure I didn't stop before the 25 min mark. I'd also like some tips on how to disconnect these two phenomena.

Thanks