Edging For Premature Ejaculation

[eworthi]

Great post. I am definitely one of those guys with no plateau during sex. I stumbled upon what I think is my plateau the other day while edging and I would describe it like this. I had already had to stop a few times to avoid PONR and was continuing on when the friction changed in my lubed hand, it felt like my unit had excreted its own lube right from the shaft, nothing actually came out as far as I could tell but sensation of stroking changed as well, it felt good but not that "I'm close to PONR "good, it felt like I could just stay there for as long as I wanted, as though IT was the destination, not orgasm. It was cool while it lasted but I think I sabotaged it by thinking something pornographic involuntarily.

[Smu]

A while ago I posted on this thread that I had found my plateau during edging. Now I have been keeping up with my edging, and I had sex with my girlfriend twice this weekend.
Both of those times I had total control for the first 5 minutes at least, thrusting pretty fast too.
Then I kept thrusting even faster which led to me orgasming, but I could have easily lasted so much longer if I had slowed down, it was not an uncontrollable orgasm!

My point is, this kind of edging really does work wonders. I have been doing this for months now, and I feel like I'm beginning to harvest the fruits.

[ammonite]

Great post. I am definitely one of those guys with no plateau during sex. I stumbled upon what I think is my plateau the other day while edging and I would describe it like this. I had already had to stop a few times to avoid PONR and was continuing on when the friction changed in my lubed hand, it felt like my unit had excreted its own lube right from the shaft, nothing actually came out as far as I could tell but sensation of stroking changed as well, it felt good but not that "I'm close to PONR "good, it felt like I could just stay there for as long as I wanted, as though IT was the destination, not orgasm. It was cool while it lasted but I think I sabotaged it by thinking something pornographic involuntarily.

Great progress, if this truly was your plateau, and the description sounds about right, then you've done the hardest part of this thread. Now you've just got to get used to getting there regularily. At first, it may be hard to recreate this feeling but don't worry. When I first got plateau, I didn't manage to get back there for over a week. The worst thing you can do, which I did, is to try really hard to get there. I was so focused on getting back to the amazing feeling that I put too much pressure on myself and I became frustrated that I could not do it. Making plateau a goal to be achieved is completely the wrong attitude, and the more accustomed to plateau you become, the more you will realise that your mindset is the problem. Essentially, don't let sex (or edging) be goal orientated, just relax and enjoy it. You pretty much described it in your post anyway, but here is a good aritcle - The Perils of Goal-Oriented Sex | The Passionate Wife

Keep us updated and post any feedback or advice

A while ago I posted on this thread that I had found my plateau during edging. Now I have been keeping up with my edging, and I had sex with my girlfriend twice this weekend.
Both of those times I had total control for the first 5 minutes at least, thrusting pretty fast too.
Then I kept thrusting even faster which led to me orgasming, but I could have easily lasted so much longer if I had slowed down, it was not an uncontrollable orgasm!

My point is, this kind of edging really does work wonders. I have been doing this for months now, and I feel like I'm beginning to harvest the fruits.

Excellent news, glad to see it has transferred to sex. Once you start getting plateau often during edging, it is important to practice thrusting and different positions, to make sure you can stay in plateau during sex. Again, any advice you have for how to get into plateau would be highly appreicated, as I realise what I have given is fairly limited.

[Smu]

Again, any advice you have for how to get into plateau would be highly appreicated, as I realise what I have given is fairly limited.

See again, that's a tough one to explain but I'll try. What I think really lead me to find my plateau was a stroking pace I was really comfortable with and eliminating (or at least minimizing) IK's! You could stroke it with a slow pace, but if you're involuntarily kegeling, then it's not going to make much of a difference.
To eliminate my IK's I surprisingly didn't have any kind of Reverse Kegel routine, but I every time I would IK I would consciously make the effort to RK. Sometimes I would hold a light RK for my whole edging session.

I still get IK's myself, but they're not nearly as strong and much less frequent now, and they only really start coming towards the end of my sessions, which is significant progress.

To sum it up:
-Eliminate IK's
-Use a comfortable stroking pace
-Positive reinforcement to yourself

The last one I didn't mention yet, but I think it is crucial. Try to eliminate all negative thinking (''I will never beat this...'' , ''I will just cum too fast again'') and all that bullshit. When you catch yourself having those thoughts, replace it with something positive.

[ammonite]

This post is about sexual conditioning and how it affects the psychological aspects of premature ejaculation. It also offers a little more insight into the plateau phase and maybe how to get there. This comes from doing some research around the scientific aspects of the sexual response.

The psychological part of premature ejaculation goes much deeper than just anxiety, which is what most people connect it to. In particular, it is about connections/ pathways between neurons in the brain. When a person does an activity, such as masturbating, connections are made in the brain so that it remembers how to perform and respond to that activity. As the person repeats the activity, these connections between cells are used more and more, and so become stronger/ more deeply ingrained. This is why things such as driving a car become easier after a while, because the brain learns how to do it as the connections become stronger. Practice makes perfect, so to speak.

So the problem is, for someone who has learned to ejaculate fast through rushed masturbation, the connections in the brain between receiving sexual stimulation and quick ejaculation are very firmly ingrained. The response, like driving a car becomes automatic, which is why it's very hard to change. Also, more bad news, most people’s sexual conditioning happened during adolescence, when they first discovered masturbation. During adolescence, the brain is evolving much faster than at any other point in life- more connections are being made in the brain. This means it is especially easy to create a bad habit, such as smoking, drinking or quick ejaculations during adolescence.

The good news is, the brain can make new connections later in life, all be it at a slower pace than during adolescence. So to counter the ingrained pathways between receiving sexual stimulation and orgasm, you need to make connections between receiving pleasure and not orgasming. Essentially, you need to perform edging. However it is very difficult to do this correctly, since edging is essentially masturbation, which triggers those pathways leading to orgasm.

This is why the start of edging is often the most difficult; this is the stage at which the initial connection must be made between receiving sexual pleasure and not going straight to ejaculation. The best way to do this, as stated in the original post is to edge in a way that it is unlikely to cause ejaculation, such as with a slow stroke rate and no imagination. Once this connection has been made, you then need to keep practicing good edging techniques so that the pathway becomes stronger. At the same time, the quick ejaculation pathway is not being used, so the cells die and the connections become weaker. Eventually, the pathway which doesn't involve quick ejaculations becomes stronger and so this will become the automatic response.

This process then needs to be repeated for many things, as there will be connections between thinking sexy thoughts and ejaculation, stroking fast and ejaculation, thrusting and ejaculation. This is where the edging progression comes in as you gradually add in more challenges and dissociate them from ejaculation. The entirety of plateau edging is essentially about creating new pathways in the brain which don't associate sexual acts with ejaculation. It's a long, difficult process, but once the initial pathways have been made, strengthening them become easier and easier as the brain gets more and more used to following them.

As for the plateau phase itself, I'm afraid that there is probably no simple mind trick you can use to access it. It will just happen naturally once you've gotten rid of enough connections leading to quick ejaculations. Like I've said, not being able to get into plateau is a by product of being too focused on orgasm. Maybe many of you didn't understand what I meant by this, now hopefully you do. This focus on orgasm/ ejaculation is not something you directly control, it is about those pathways in your brain leading to quick ejaculation. Remove these pathways and you remove the focus on orgasm. Then it is only a matter of time before the plateau phase comes along. To use the analogy again, it will be like trying to unlearn how to drive, it's not going to be easy. From my personal experience, it took around a year of edging before getting to plateau, and even now I am still working on improving the pathways in my brain between sexual stimulation and going into plateau.

However, do not forget the physical side. The two are interlinked massively. For example, pelvic floor tension is a major cause of Pre E. You can learn to relax the PF by doing reverse kegels. Doing these alters the situation slightly, as there will be less involuntary kegel spasms. This is a new situation, so the old pathways are less likely to be followed and so allows new connections to be made in the brain. Therefore, if you combine PF relaxation and good edging techniques you can further your chances of creating new pathways in the brain. This is why it is recommend to deal with the physical side before moving onto the psychological, as it gives you a good base to create new pathways from.

In conclusion, I believe there is still hope to the old fashioned combination of three things to deal with pre e.
1. The techniques such as RK, yoga, deep squats, possibly some supplements to make it easier for you to overcome pre e.
2. Proper edging technique (not rushing to the PONR, gradually making it more difficult) to capitalise on these improvements and make new pathways in your brain.
3. Most importantly, time. The willingness to accept it may take a while to create good new habits.

Interesting video on sexual conditioning, courtesy of Big Al:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XvyejdlmKpE

[Pegasus]

Great post a.
I like the conclusion you get the body right develop the skills have your head in the right place ,shin gi, tai.

[eworthi]

Thanks ammonite, I do believe I did find my plateau, if only because I haven't found it again since. But, like you said, expect it to be elusive for a while. I am not worried as my whole routine has been disrupted while my parents are house guests. I'm 50 years old but perhaps the fear of being caught masturbating by your folks just never goes away? Hey, maybe this is my big chance to face the psychological aspects of my PremE head on, by continuing my edging even while they are around!

[ammonite]

Thanks ammonite, I do believe I did find my plateau, if only because I haven't found it again since. But, like you said, expect it to be elusive for a while. I am not worried as my whole routine has been disrupted while my parents are house guests. I'm 50 years old but perhaps the fear of being caught masturbating by your folks just never goes away? Hey, maybe this is my big chance to face the psychological aspects of my PremE head on, by continuing my edging even while they are around!

Might be worth a shot trying that. All I will say is don't feel that you must edge or stick to an edging routine. I find it best that you just edge when you feel like. This means that not only are the sessions better, but also it gives you a better mindset. After alll sexual stimulation, including edging, should really be for your enjoyment. It's much harder to enjoy something if it's seen as a routine or something that you must do.

However, at first before you can really enjoy your edging, it may be better to stick to some sort of routine. Just doing it when you feel like it is more of a skill for when you're getting plateau regularily. You're well on the way to this stage though. Nonetheless, your chances of getting into plateau will be much greater if you're in the mood for an edging session.

Also, if you have further diffilculties, try taking a week or so break. Then when you get back you'll be much hornier so it will feel better and you'll be able to notice the pleasurable sensations as soon as you start edging and it will make it easier to get into plateau. This can be a good technique for anyone who has problems feel pleasure except for during orgasm. Might not work as well if you're having regular sex though.

[gbb011]

Awesome thread, great read!

Couple questions:

1) I currently IK every time I touch near or the head of my penis. I'm currently edging by touching only my middle/bottom. Should I stay on this course or change how I am edging? If I stay, when do I know when to move to the top part of my penis?

2) I currently need to hold a RK during edging because I don't feel like I can stop IK. Should I instead be not holding a RK and just using less stimulating grips?

I'm just starting out (couple weeks) and know I have a long road ahead, just want to make sure I'm walking the right way

[ammonite]

Awesome thread, great read!

Couple questions:

1) I currently IK every time I touch near or the head of my penis. I'm currently edging by touching only my middle/bottom. Should I stay on this course or change how I am edging? If I stay, when do I know when to move to the top part of my penis?

2) I currently need to hold a RK during edging because I don't feel like I can stop IK. Should I instead be not holding a RK and just using less stimulating grips?

I'm just starting out (couple weeks) and know I have a long road ahead, just want to make sure I'm walking the right way

Thank you

1) The head is the most common area for IK to occur because it has the most nerve endings so is the most sensitive. Ideally you want to edge including the whole of the penis, to get used to all of the sensations, so that it is most similar to sex. I think I described a technique somewhere in this thread to counter IK from the head, which sort of links in with your second question.

What you do is hold a very strong RK (can use your abs for support if needed) and gently touch the head of your penis (whilst erect). While this would normally cause an IK, hopefully the strong RK will stop this, because it isn't possible to hold an RK and kegel at the same time (I think). If you still get an IK, you can try touching even more gently, or in a less sensitive area (the frenulum is normally the most sensitive). Overtime, you will find that you get less IK, and can progress to using harder touches while doing the exercise.

2) The same principle applies here, by using the RK during edging it stops the IK and so over time and repetition the new response becomes ingrained. Eventually, you won't even need to do the RK to stop the IK because they will be eliminated anyway. I did most of my early edging sessions holding a constant RK, and it worked for me in getting rid off most IK. If you still find it too hard you can use an easier grip, but yes using RK during edging is a well established technique for countering IK.

To finish off, the most important thing about edging is experimenting and doing what feels right. Because the body is so used to masturbation leading to quick orgasm, any way you edge teaches the body a new response which will counter your Pre E. Plateau edging is just one way of doing it, and as you experiment you will start being able to make your own decisions about which direction to take your edging in. It's essentially all about changing that habit of going for the quick orgasm.