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Thread: Edging For Premature Ejaculation
- 01-21-2014 #41
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- Jan 2014
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- 85
Hello ammonite,
If i remember correctly, when i was 15 before my porn addiction i wasn't able to finish quickly, it was actually the other way around, i had to work hard to be able to finish... i remember two types of feelings, one that was a neutral sensation where i had to speed up the strokes to feel something, and after it i used to feel like when you are starting to reach the orgasm but i wasn't able to get there, it wasn't as intense as the orgasm but it felt like sparks of it...
I tell you this because i want to know if i used to feel the plateau phase, did i described it in the last pagraph?
Thanks for your help!
- 01-21-2014 #42
Yeah, when I also started masturbating I also had those 2 feelings and orgasm was hard to achieve. I think "the sparks of orgasm" as you describe it is definitely the plateau phase, so long as you felt some control when this was happening and no imminent build up to orgasm. That is a good way to put it.
I remember I used to feel plateau phase at first, but because I was new to the pleasure, I didn't have that much control in it, this would've improved with practice as it has now. However, I then began forcing orgasm with kegels and I started skipping the plateau phase and going straight into orgasm.
If you've been in it before which it sounds like you have, this should make it easier to get there again. Use the techniques in the thread, and try and remember what it felt like. It will take time, but it is well worth it. Because this is still a fairly new idea, there isn't any concrete advice on it yet, but feedback and experiments from members such as yourself can help change this.
Don't forget, you will also need a routine outside of edging to fix any physical issues which might be stopping you from getting into and staying in plateau.
And one final little tip about rushing. The main reason I advise people not to rush is because you need to retrain your response in the easiest way possible - by gaining control from the bottom up. However there is another reason as well. Sometimes when I first rediscovered plateau phase, I would have difficulty getting into it. When this happened, I would become frustrated. If I got frustrated in a session it was guaranteed I would then not get into plateau. If I feel myself getting frustrated now, and it still happens sometimes, I just end the session. To get into plateau you must be calm an relaxed. So, to get there you need to accept it will take time and just relax and enjoy the journey. If you mange to do this, and it isn't easy by any means, it will make getting plateau considerably easier.
- 01-21-2014 #43
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- Jan 2014
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What i am doing right now is edging in the morning and streching before going to sleep, i used to be able to do splits when i was young and now i just feel alot of tension in my lower body.
I am currently not doing my kegels and reverse kegels routine.
I think that edging is the most important step to overcome premature ejaculation cause your learn to have better control of your feelings and sensations, today while i was edging i noticed that i can focus on my pelvic floor muscles (makes me finish quicker) or my penis (removes tension on my BC muscles wich makes me last longer).
I'm currently working on staying on what i believe the plateau phase is (i described it in the last post i made). I used to last 30 - 40 minutes while edging, today i hardly reached 20 minutes.
Another thing i want to add, my best friend also suffered from premature ejaculation, right now he says he is a king in the bedroom, he told me he overcame his problem by learning how to properly breath in bed, he described it as when you go to the gym and you are doing reps, that it is the same concept. So try to breath properly while you are edging.
And never forget to stretch!
http://www.fitday.com/fitness-articl...etching.html#b
And also, i want to share my point of view on premature ejaculation, i don't see it as something that must be cured, like a disease, i see it as a skill that has to be trained, you need experience and practice to get better, some of us skipped the learning phase when we were young, personally i know part of my problem is for skipping steps i should have learned, for example, learning how to kiss, 3 years ago i was really bad at this, but with time i was able to get better, same with making out with girls, if i didn't know how to kiss a girl do you think i knew how to make out? To keep my story short i had sex before learning the basics (wich exploded right on my face). My advice, take things slowly, be patient, take one step by a time and remember that everything is going to be fine, NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE.
Last edited by Draugr; 01-21-2014 at 01:43 PM.
- 01-21-2014 #44
- Join Date
- Mar 2013
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- 17
The book is not bad. It's old now so can get it cheap second hand.
After some good edging sessions where I thought I gaining control I seem to have taken a backwards step.
Have you felt much benefit from the stretching routine, ammonite?
- 01-22-2014 #45
Draugr - Whether or not edging is the most important step depends on what causes your premature ejaculation - more on this can be found in the diagnosis link in my signature. For those who have it because of poor masturbation habits, edging is definitely one of the most important things. However, these guys also seem to have tense pelvic floors as a result of kegelling to orgasm and a reverse kegel weighted routine is needed to fix this. Good post about skipping the learning phase.
If I'm finding it difficult, I will tend to stop edging for a few days and this usually helps. If this does not fix the problem, you will have to search deeper for what might be causing it.
It is hard for me to say since I do so many different things which ones are actually helping. It is possible that the stretches have helped me release tension in the pelvic floor. They definitely helped in the first week, but I don't know if they have continued to benefit me.
- 01-25-2014 #46
Here is a little technique which can help train the brain for plateau. It is also useful for those who are less advanced and want to know what plateau feels like. On top of all that, it should be good for hardness as well!
First, you need to get yourself in the mood; get an erection. Close your eyes and try and do it without touching yourself though, do it only with imagination. Imagine someone you really love or someone who is very attractive to you. Once you manage to get it up, slowly begin edging, while still imagining sexy things about this pereon. Try not to let your mind wander. When it starts to feel good, completely stop edging. However, continue your imagination. See if you can still get good feelings even though you aren't touching yourself.
*IMPORTANT*- when you aren't touching yourself DON'T do kegels to make it feel good. This is a very bad habit. In fact, don't kegel at any time during this exercise.
If the feelings start going away, then slowly begin edging again until you start to feel good again. Then repeat with the imagination. Again if the feelings go away, go back to edging. Keep repeating these steps of alternating edging and stopping.
For me atleast, doing this was very effective when I was first trying to get to plateau. I personally need imagination to get into plateau it doesn't work otherwise. This was a way of using imagination without losing control.
Also, it is very relaxing when you are just using imagination, and this is also beneficial to getting into plateau.
Lastly, you aren't going to ejaculate from imagination alone and no touching. This helps separate the connection which I believe all premature ejaculators have of pleasure=orgasm. If you can manage to get good feelings just from the imagination, it will teach your body that it can feel good without ejacultion. This seperation of pleasure and orgasm is the most important thing in getting into plateau, since that's what the plateau phase is- pleasure without orgasm.
The idea then is that your start decreasing the amount of time you stop for and increasing the amount of time you edge for, while still maintaining the same pleasure level. Hopefully by practicing this your body will learn firstly to get into plateau, and secondly to stay there, so that when you do begin getting rid of the stopping time, your body will stay in plateau and not speed of to orgasm.
Again, all this wont happen over night because you're reprogramming many years of quick ejaculation reflexes. The idea is that this gradual change into lasting longer while still enjoying yourself, combined with a routine to fix any physical tension will, overtime reprogram your response so that it becomes natural to last long. If many years of poor habits can make you cum quickly, I don't see why many months (possibly even years) of good habits can't reverse this. However you do need to accept that it will take time- you aren't going to be able to change a lifetimes worth of habits overnight. I once read it takes 8000 repetitions of a movement to get it so your body can do it automatically (muscle memory) - so 8000 edging sessions later you'll be fixed.
Of course, it won't actually take this long since you'll be improving gradually all the time and will therefore be able to control yourself through various techniques, but it will take time before you have fixed it to a degree you don't even have to think about it any more. That is the final goal.
- 01-25-2014 #47
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- Jan 2014
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- 85
Hey, i tried a Fleshlight yesterday, i couldn't last 1 minute lol.... my glans were to sensitive that i exploded, i guess it is the bad habit of masturbating without lube and a light grip... what you think about edging with it instead of my hand, should i?
- 01-25-2014 #48
If you're struggling to last 1 minute then you're probably not ready to use it yet. Try practicing with your hand, but focus more on the glans if you feel you are ready. Remember to work your way up by gradually using more intense methods as you gain control. If a fleshlight is too difficult, focus on something else first. Alternatively, try going really slow with the fleshlight, without imagination and see it that helps.
If something brings you to the PONR that fast, you aren't ready to be doing it yet, at least not on a regular basis. Progress gradually and only when you are truly ready to.
- 01-25-2014 #49
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- Dec 2013
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That's interesting because i just made a thread about STU's!
Surely this can't be correct though? Otherwise, for those of us currently struggling to get past the one minute mark during sex, you're effectively saying we shouldn't engage in sex as we're not ready?
It makes more sense for me to say.... Ok, i lasted 30 seconds with x. Next time i will try to beat 30 seconds with x. (x could be your hand, a toy, a girl.... whatever). I understand the idea of gradual progression, no doubt. You wouldn't pick up the heaviest dumbells in the room on your first ever weight lifting session. But that's because a) it's dangerous, and b) because you'll NEVER go one rep with them if they are so outside of your strength range, there obviously will be no starting reference for progress. In this instance, using the STU would cause injury and we are measuring time - even if it's a few seconds, so we do have a point of reference (albeit not an impressive one!!).
Curious to hear yours and others' thoughts...?
- 01-26-2014 #50
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- Jan 2014
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Thanks for the reply, i was thinking to keep edging with my hand and use the STU every once in a while.
Why changing the weight of my lift if i am progressing with the one im currently using? Once my progress stops i can add more weight.
Btw, while i was using the STU i noticed everytime i stoped before reaching the PONR i was losing EQ, everytime i stop and start again i find out that i lost a big part of my erection, is that normal?
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