Edging For Premature Ejaculation

[ammonite]

I guess a better way to put it is that my pc muscle feels flexed or hard almost the entire time.

Is this normal or is this something I'm supposed to be relaxing, and if so, how?

Yes this stems from bad masturbation habits by clenching kegels to achieve orgasm. I also used to hold a kegel for practically the entire time. This was strange since I couldn't hold a kegel for that long in isolation; somehow I managed to train myself to kegel continuously during stimulaltion, presumably through muscle memory. At first I wasn't even aware I was doing this.

To see if you are doing this, before you start edging, place a hand on your PC muscle. Then begin to stroke and see if you can feel any change. If the muscle is weak then you may not be able to feel it but it might still be there. You might be able to feel the movement anyway even without your hand. You can't feel any involuntary kegels since your pelvic floor is already in a constant state of kegel, how can it involuntarily do something it is already doing. (Kegel=tension). This is similar to using an intentional kegel to stop the spasm kegels that cause ejaculation and thus giving a DO. Unfortunately for you, all this kegel succeeds in doing is making it feel better and so making you orgasm faster.

To stop this you need to work on relaxation techniques such as reverse kegels and stretching outside of edging. You should also try and hold a light reverse kegel for the whole of your edging session to prevent the kegel hold. If you do this, you might start being able to feel actual involuntary kegels, or if you are lucky like me, there won't actually be many involuntaries, and it was just this constant kegel that caused quick orgasm. You should also try to edge slowly and make a conscious effort to prevent this kegel hold happening.

[ammonite]

Also, one thing myself and other senior members are struggling to do is find words to accurately describe what the plateau phase feels like. This would help beginners know what they are aiming for.

If anyone who has achieved plateau can think of a way to describe it, that would be very helpful, thanks.

[dobby]

Thanks Ammonite, I will try to consciously relax the muscle and simply stop stimulation if it gets completely flexed until it goes away, then resume.

I'm interested to see if RK's can replace the currently muscle memory of flexing the PC muscle during stimulation.

If it's possible to retrain this response to happen automatically, that would be quite helpful!

[Draugr]

ammonite, is it normal that the frenulum is over sensitive? when i am using the stu i feel like it gets streched and makes me almost reach PONR...

[dobby]

ammonite, is it normal that the frenulum is over sensitive? when i am using the stu i feel like it gets streched and makes me almost reach PONR...

I'm not sure if it's normal, but I have the same sensation with the STU.

One option is to use more lube which will decrease the stretching and be less sensitive on the frenulum.

I typically just keep going over the frenulum until it starts to be desensitized.

I also notice that stimulation causes me to hold a strong involuntary kegel so I've been working to use RK's to get my PC muscle back into a relaxed state.

When you're at the PONR, try going over just the frenulum really slowly and see how the sensations change.

Interested to follow this thread to see if I can learn from your progress, not many guys on here seem to be using the STU consistently.

[Draugr]

I'm not sure if it's normal, but I have the same sensation with the STU.

One option is to use more lube which will decrease the stretching and be less sensitive on the frenulum.

I typically just keep going over the frenulum until it starts to be desensitized.

I also notice that stimulation causes me to hold a strong involuntary kegel so I've been working to use RK's to get my PC muscle back into a relaxed state.

When you're at the PONR, try going over just the frenulum really slowly and see how the sensations change.

Interested to follow this thread to see if I can learn from your progress, not many guys on here seem to be using the STU consistently.

Sure, it would be nice to have a STU partner lol ^^

Well, right now what i felt is that the preassure (its to tight) from the STU tense up my muscles to much... it kinda gets my erection tired, or i mean the base or my penis... its kinda weird..

The arousal with the STU is the same as when i have sex with my gf.

[ammonite]

Yes, the frenulum can be very sensitive. Dobby gave good advice, in that you should try and stop the involuntary kegels, since that is probably what is causing you to reach the PONR very quickly. Using RK holds at lower arousal to prevent involuntary kegels is very effective, but I find they cannot be used very well once you start getting near orgasm, best to use them in plateau or before. This is another reason you should pratice at lower arousals at first, to get rid off the involuntary kegels that speed you to PONR.

I will also be updating the OP with some disclaimers and also a possible alternative way to acsess plateau for more advanced people.

Here is an excellent post ItsPossible made, explaining the theory about reconditioning yourself for plateau in more detail than I have here.

[robot_]

Are edging sessions supposed to feel like a workout? I find that I tense up while getting hard and hold this state for the duration of sex or masturbation. When I'm edging, I am constantly doing back rk's to release the tension, but as soon as I do it builds up again and I have to do another rk or back rk. So I am ending up feeling slightly sore and worked out after a session.

[ammonite]

Well ideally edging should be something you enjoy, rather than something you have to do. Trouble is, if you have Pre e, it isn't easy to enjoy since you're always fighting the urge to cum. However, if you do your RKs to prevent involuntary kegels and tension, your body should eventually learn to be more relaxed. I think it's probably fine to be a little sore, but if its getting to the area where it's painful then something's wrong.

I used to always hold a constant light reverse kegel to counter spams, but now, about a year and a half later, it's not really that necessary any more, and if I feel myself getting tense my body seems to automatically RK slightly to release the tension. Its a long process to change the habit of tensing up though.

[Draugr]

I think i found my lost plateu,
How did i find it? Well, i tried to link myself while having sex (with my imagination) with my full erection phase, my heart rate increased, my breathing went faster, it felt close to a massage, my penis was getting stimulated and i was focusing on the sensation like when your penis just raises without letting my arousal go up.

Its difficult to describe the plateu phase... why? Because it is the moment when you realize that you can get stimulation while controlling it... Yes, it feels good, people moan/breath for a reason, im pretty sure everyone, even people with PE have felt it while masturbating, its feels like the moment before you think "im going to finish" but prolonged, as simple as that, i think this is the reason why people cannot describe it, because you can actually compare it with the orgasm phase.

I can be wrong, but i think this is how my plateu phase feels.

So ammonite, i am thinking on doing exercices to link what i feel down there to what i think, for example, the phases before the erection i will link them with the forplay, the erection phase with sex/penetration and the moment my partner reaches her orgasm with the PONR. You think this is viable?