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    Hi guys, have been loitering on the forums over the past week.

    I have come here as I'm a 28 year old male that is currently starting to have problems with premature ejaculation.

    As a bit of history I've never really had a superbad problem with it, although I've never been one to be able to last for half an hour plus. I'd say in terms of penetration I'd average around 10 minutes in the past.

    Anyway I've been dating a great girl now for 5 months and in the beginning all was good. Again I'm no casanova and penetrative sex lasted roughly 10 minutes I'd say (and I'd always get her off by fingering her, she has never had a penetrative orgasm without stimulation by me) but she was telling everyone how hot it was & she was telling me things like I was amazing in bed and I genuinely believe her on this.

    Recently though I've been starting to blow my load in the space of just a few minutes, and in fact even a few thrusts and I'm getting so excited that I'm feeling the PONR come on, so I'm having to stop and wait, or switch positions but it's just so obvious what I'm doing to her. She really hates it, especially as she's the sort of girl that loves it hard and deep and for a long time, unfortunately even when things were going well and she was telling me she was loving it I was feeling like I was underperforming =(. I haven't seen her much for the past month and last night and this morning we had sex and it was just whack. I tried to laugh it off last night and told her it was just because I was so excited as hadn't seen her for so long, but same thing happened this morning. I said sorry and she said I had nothing to be sorry for but I know if i don't get this under control over the long term we're going to part ways which would be sad =(.

    I'm a bit overwhelmed with all the new information on here. It seems like consistently 'edging' as a technique is useful (although I find it difficult to get an erection without any stimulation at all).

    Reverse kegels also are something new I'm reading about but I'm not sure where I'm suppose to employ them vs normal kegels during sex.

    Anyway, just wondering if anyone had any specific tips for me knowing a bit about my history. It sounds to me more psychological than physical but I could do with a lot of work on the physical side of things anyway to hopefully get me over that 10 minute mark long-term, hoping that I get over this issue!

    As an aside I'm one of those guys who can't urinate whilst other people are around, as I think i read somewhere the two are related..

    Thanks guys
    TC

    PS I've also started jelqing since being on the forums
    PPS I'd like to try get over this without talking to her about this as well for now

  • #2
    I used to be like you however I almost had to will myself to ejaculate when having sex. (Ps 10 minutes of hard sex beats 45 minutes of dragged out sex any day so that is awesome dont even sweat it)

    My ex and I would bang like rabbits and half the time I could never ejaculate. We had relationship issues and then took a 1 year break up and ended up getting back together. From that day forward I had pe with her every single time. It was mind boggling and hard to take in.

    Between bad masturbatiom habits and poor confidence my pe got out of control over that 1 year apart.

    The reason it got worse was because I lasted 1 minute just that one time and it has plagued me ever since. So what I'm telling you is don't let it bring you down. Be confident and learn to breathe and relax or it will get worse as your anxiety to perform will increase. This is what most men don't understand and just assume everything is mainly physical.

    Just be patient and read the stickies here. Especially read up on triangular breathing and relaxation exercises. I can almost guarantee your problem is arousal control and the anxiety that is spurred on you because of that one bad session

    Comment


    • #3
      Hey SB

      First of all thanks for this, I've seen your name pop up a lot on these threads helping guys out and your words mean a lot and I already start to feel better about it!

      Secondly wow, that must have been crazy to experience, and incredible what the mind can do during a physical act!

      I looked up triangular breathing and am going to try it today. Interestingly I've always noticed that on a long out-breath sensation in my penis decreases and I can't ejaculate even if I want to, however as soon as I hit that in-breath it's an instant explosion of sensation & oncoming of PONR.

      Comment


      • #4
        Np

        The breath out works wonders. When you exhale through the stomach slowly it relaxes the mind, slows the heart down and regulates the blood flow to your penis properly. This alone can be a cure. The breath in I would try different variations. Try an inhale from the stomach and not the chest, also try through the nose just make sure it is a slow deep breath and not fast shallow ones, or you will explode fast lol

        Trust me I know it sucks. But that's why these forums are great. You aren't talking to doctors or therapists who don't know what you're going through and just say do x and do y. We all know what each other is going through and can tell others what works for them and feed off each others tips.

        Just don't go down the road I have and worry yourself to death or it will get worse and worse. I never had bad pe but I made it a bigger deal than it had to be

        Coming her and asking for help was the first step and should already give you that one step closer to overcoming the issue

        My inbox is always open

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        • #5
          Originally posted by SeratoBeats View Post
          Np

          The breath out works wonders. When you exhale through the stomach slowly it relaxes the mind, slows the heart down and regulates the blood flow to your penis properly. This alone can be a cure. The breath in I would try different variations. Try an inhale from the stomach and not the chest, also try through the nose just make sure it is a slow deep breath and not fast shallow ones, or you will explode fast lol

          Trust me I know it sucks. But that's why these forums are great. You aren't talking to doctors or therapists who don't know what you're going through and just say do x and do y. We all know what each other is going through and can tell others what works for them and feed off each others tips.

          Just don't go down the road I have and worry yourself to death or it will get worse and worse. I never had bad pe but I made it a bigger deal than it had to be

          Coming her and asking for help was the first step and should already give you that one step closer to overcoming the issue

          My inbox is always open
          Thanks again man.

          What I've found with the triangular breathing is that sometimes it in a way makes me more out of breath and then I need to gasp for air using chest breathing.

          I'm trying a variation whereby instead of holding my breath for a count I just let the natural momentum of the inhale continue and diminish before exhaling through my mouth as long as is comfortable. Any tips for remembering to breath during sex? Do you try have a goal in mind, ie 20 breaths & then start again?

          Comment


          • #6
            Sounds like someone is falling in love!
            The world's still a toy if you just stay a boy!

            Comment


            • #7
              That (scary) thought literally occurred to me today. Help!

              Comment


              • #8
                Sorry can't help you there. Happened to me once as well. I think it was in the 70's? Or was it the 80's? Don't worry you'll get over it!
                The world's still a toy if you just stay a boy!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by takingcontrol View Post
                  Thanks again man.

                  What I've found with the triangular breathing is that sometimes it in a way makes me more out of breath and then I need to gasp for air using chest breathing.

                  I'm trying a variation whereby instead of holding my breath for a count I just let the natural momentum of the inhale continue and diminish before exhaling through my mouth as long as is comfortable. Any tips for remembering to breath during sex? Do you try have a goal in mind, ie 20 breaths & then start again?
                  I wouldn't put all your focus on your breathing during sex but I would practice it and ensure you do it every single time you masturbate that way it will be cemented in your brain and just become a second nature when you are aroused.

                  You can use this form of breathing any time you get nervous whether its for sex or anything else. If its too difficult keep practicing it or find something else for you that works. Just as long as you are simply remembering to breathe it will make the world of difference

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