My Premature Ejaculation (and introduction)

[Anonymous23]

Hi.

Let me just start of by stating that I have been reading in this forum for about two years now, and that I know about practically all the different techniques out there. I have also found out the fact that Premature Ejaculation has variable solutions. I will try to be brief, and just post what I already know about my PE.

Most importantly, my PE is all psychological. It has something to do with arousal, but maybe not. This is what I don't understand, and where I need help. Some important things that you should know. I can masturbate as long as I want without ejaculation, my pelvic floor is fairly balanced, and I have had a girlfriend for four years now. She is VERY understandable, and really doesn't mind my PE. I, however, am getting ruined by it. My confidence it quite low because of it, and it eats me up inside.

Demonstration of my PE

To describe my problem, let me tell you how my brain and penis are working together. Whenever I get aroused either by my girlfriend, or porn, my brain tells my penis: "Hello mr. penis! You like what you see there don't you? How great! Let me put sperm right at the tip of your head, so when someone touches you, or you enter someone, you will come within seconds!" This happens every time I get aroused. Sometimes it happens even before I'm hard.

That's basically my problem. And I have had it the the last 3 years. I have tried a lot of things that I don't want to bother you with. What I want to do is to get some advise from people in here. I have read "Arousal Techniques" and think that's somewhere along the lines of my solution; however, I may have to get some more advise from people with experience.

I think it is obvious that I need to reverse my mental reactions to porn and sex (foreplay etc), but you will have to forgive me if I get a bit confused. Someone swears to "No porn whatsoever" while other think porn can be used to control you arousal level.

So, this is me looking for advice, so I can put it all together and try to fix this motherfucker once and for all. Help please?

[MrB8]

I suggest you balance your pelvic floor with both regular and reverse kegels, and practice edging to learn to control your ejaculation.

https://www.pegym.com/forums/prematu...r-balance.html

https://www.pegym.com/forums/prematu...loor-yoga.html

https://www.pegym.com/forums/prematu...-thats-me.html

https://www.pegym.com/penis-exercise...n-pelvic-floor

https://www.pegym.com/forums/beginne...ing-101-a.html

[hideyoshi7]

From my experience, porn is always bad. Porn has effects on you that you cannot identify while you're still watching it regullary. Really. It's a big cause of anxiety at so many levels. I would recommend you to give it a try and stay away from the porn+masturbation combo for at least 90 days. While this will probably worsen your premE in the short term (while you're at it), it'll give you great insight about your body and the source of your anxieties in the long term. At least this was my experience.

[Anonymous23]

From my experience, porn is always bad. Porn has effects on you that you cannot identify while you're still watching it regullary. Really. It's a big cause of anxiety at so many levels. I would recommend you to give it a try and stay away from the porn+masturbation combo for at least 90 days. While this will probably worsen your premE in the short term (while you're at it), it'll give you great insight about your body and the source of your anxieties in the long term. At least this was my experience.

You are absolutely right, I have tried no PMO, and seen its positive effects on so many levels. I am more calm, more social and not as intensively horny as before. However, it did not cure my PE. As long as i thought about it while sex, I would come instantly. There is something with naked women and immediate ejaculation in my head, and I'm starting to feel that I have to reverse it somehow.

Another thing that I think we should all consider, is that it may be the arousal of porn that gives us the anxiety and overly sensitive penis. I say this because I have tried to masturbate without porn, but making me just as horny as porn in other ways. This led to the exact same feeling after ejaculation as I had when masturbating to porn. The same goes for edging, whenever I start edging, the feeling is so good that my arousal shoots trough the roof, and the arousal control will disappear. There is something happening in our head when we get horny enough, porn or not. I think the no PMO is great for people that are addicted to porn, and have porn induced premature ejaculation, but it did not fix mine. I have not made any program for me yet, as I'm trying to get some more information about how to do it.

To summarize, from my experience, porn and masturbation should never be combined. However, masturbation with high arousal may have equally as bad effect on your mind. Masturbation with low arousal may be key for my Premature Ejaculation, and I am considering step number 6 and 7 from "arousal techniques" because I need to have control over my arousal at this point, and I need to understand it.

[pegaso79]

Have you try reverse kegels when you are near the ponr, and reverse kegels out of sex and masturbation? That helps a lot.

[watson]

Hi guys. new to this forum... suffering from extreme PreE. i hv been doing ballooning techniques but the thing is i cannot stand even a few strokes while masturbating which makes it difficult for me to follow arousal techniques. can anyone help me in this matter.

[OceanCowboy]

I am in the same boat. If anything, porn almost helps because hot naked women aren't so much of a surprised when you have one for yourself. The more I read through this forum, the more I think that lack of arousal control is the cause of my PE. Like you said, anonymous23, whether masturbating with or without porn or having actual sex, even a BJ, there's like an instant fear of cumming and that triggers it. Sometimes (though rarely) I can as last as long and go as hard has I want. I'm trying to draw the correlations. I've noticed that in the morning, I tend to do better. Also, after a few drinks. Could it be that one's mind is more relaxed in the morning or with a little alcohol in the system? What are your thoughts, gents?

[Minuteman]

For me it was and probably always will be about pleasure. In the beginning a desire to last more because of the others very quickly turned into a desire to last more because I wanted simply to enjoy more.

While this may be too vague, instead of running away from pleasure try to embrace it make it synonymous with masturbation/edging/sex and not just with ejaculation.

In your head there is a picture of you ejaculation and a girl because your brain sees ejaculation as the best way for you to pleasure yourself, once you start enjoying the whole process more the picture will change.

The problem here is that it takes time to change that view point and you basically need only one tool with it's different variations, and that is edging.

The other thing you need is to simply get used to the prolonged high arousal, right now you are simply overwhelmed with so much sensation that you loose control (3day routine helped me with that mostly).

The other interesting thing in retrospect is that I have noticed just how little I was aroused and how much was it collected in one spot (your pelvic area) and how much more can I be aroused now throughout my whole body and not be under such pressure.

You can notice this by simply observing your self near PONR. Right now when I am highly aroused and near PONR I will be sweating and my skin would burn with heat, I would gasp like I have had run a marathon. Before it wasn't even close to that.

You have to allow arousal to course trough whole of your body and not just the pelvic area. This is also done by learning both how to relax and how to contract the parts of your body in order to let the arousal flow.

I firmly believe that it is much easier to overcome a premature ejaculation problem with a partner than alone, since you have to engage your whole body in the process while with masturbation and edging it is naturally much less dynamic, of course some preparation and arousal conditioning solo are needed.

So basically you are in luck that you have an understanding partner and you should make most of it. Foreplay is not just for her, it is also for you so that you can get comfortable near her and let your arousal envelop your whole body.

In that light this book can explain to her what are your problems and also include her in your routine.

[Anonymous23]

Update 1

Posting an update now, since I have found a lot of different things regarding my PE.

method

I do this whenever I got time for it, my program comes in to phases:

Phase 1:

- I watch porn. 20 minutes, no touching. I stop every 5 minutes, and analyze my self, my arousal, how I feel, and what I can do to control my arousal more.

- If I find myself too deep within the porn, I use some methods to snap out of it:

* Imagening watching myself in the current situation. Kind of an out of body experience, where I watch what I'm actually doing; watching porn. This helps me keeping my focus.

* Talking to my self, slowly (not loudly, that is just weird). Imagening myself pushing a "pause button", and explaining what I need to do; control my arousal, go from a 7 yo 5 on the arousal scale etc.

Phase 2

Masturbation, with low arousal. This happens the day after, because I don't want my brain to think about masturbation, or coming, when watching porn. I don't want my brain thinking about porn when masturbating either.

Progress

Well, there is progress. I have gone from 10 seconds, to approximately 1 minute. I have, however, found out that it in fact IS both a physical and psychological problem. Yes, my arousal was bad, but at the same time, I do kegel whenever I have sex with my girlfriend. Not when I masturbate though.

I am aware that fixing my PE will take time, so I will continue to do this. I will add something new the next month though. I will masturbate in different positions, more specifically to similar positions as my sexual ones. I have already tried this, and it is crazy how much harder it is to keep my pelvic muscle relaxed. I do, however, getting a sense of improvement, and with practice I will gain a more relaxed pelvic muscle, and be able to get rid of my PE.

I will update this thread until my PE is gone.

[longerlastingnoob]

Getting used to stimulation while highly aroused is what you need to do not cut it out. If your watching porn or with your gf reduce intensity of stimulation ( even if that means barely touching yourself of thrusting) to get used to being at that level and still continuing.
If your having ik's ( involuntary kegels) start doing some reverse kegels throughout the day.