Hi all,

Glad I found this place. Seems like a much healthier environment than a lot of places I've found on the net. No snake oil and great to hear so many success stories.

I'm 37 and I've never had a problem with PE until the last couple of weeks. While I suppose my staying power could have been longer, I've always been able to last long enough to satisfy my wife. I've been happily married for the last 11 years to a beautiful, amazing woman. It is an exceptionally loving marriage, but a couple of months ago we ran into some problems. We've worked them out now, but since then I've started shooting early.

I think there are a couple of causes: my self esteem has been low as a result of the issues and I've gone from being very confident and adventurous in bed, to being really anxious and eager to please; while things were bad, my wife and I weren't sleeping together and I started to masturbate a lot and conditioned myself to come quickly. Our house is small and free time is scarce! Since our daughter was born we'd already started rushing sex sometimes - all of this seems to have created a perfect storm which has made me quicker than Billy the Kid!

I've spent a bit of time on here the last couple of days and as a result I'm taking these steps:

1. Kegels - no strict regime yet, buts lots of experimenting with a part of my body I've never really thought about. Already I've noticed my pelvic floor strengthening and my EQ improving and came close to a DO once. Still a bit confused about reverse kegels, root lock etc.
2. Edging - I find I can last a long time (20 mins plus) although I'm not using any stimulus, lube etc. for example. To be honest, I struggle to find enough time to do this.
3. I've got an anaesthetic cream from the doctor. I haven't tried this yet, but thought it might help me get my confidence back. I know a lot of you will advise against this.

I've also spoken to my wife - I find this really hard, although she is really supportive and understanding. We're going to try start/stop together.

Any advice or input would be welcome.