Feels like I'm stuck and won't ever solve this issue

[victory89]

Sorry i was asking victory89 what his routine is? He never mentioned.

I don't have a routine at all. I only discovered this site about two weeks ago, read up a few of the stickies and posts on reverse kegels etc. I have done kegels in the past and realised that I hardly ever have IKs. When masturbating myself I can literally last as long as I want, or blow my load in under 30 seconds if I really want to and flex my kegel muscle really hard. The reverse kegel was pretty hard to identify at first but now I can flex it pretty much any time I want, my stomach muscle flexes with it.

In general I have great health, I used to swim on a national level, thats kinda why I thought the muscle problems aren't where my problem is.

Another issue I've been having is that my libido has been surprisingly low lately. After an orgasm my penis goes pretty much limp for half a day, and it takes me several days to get to the same level of hornyness again. That's one reason why I haven't been doing a routine, since I always get the urge to finish myself off towards the end of a session but then I'm stuck with no sex drive for a day or two afterwards. I also feel kind of depressed the day following any kind of release.

[NeverEnough9]

Consider yourself lucky. Much easier to "fix" than having DE with very little sensation. Id trade places any day.

[longerlastingnoob]

If i you can make masturbation/edging last as long as you want and dont have ik's then it could be sensitivity or arousal, or both. When edging concentrate on the glans and find the spot that gives you most pleasure and see what diffferences you notice. If your libido is low for so long and your also depressed it could be because of the negative way you view sex. I'll just say no matter what your issue you will overcome pre e especially with help from this forum, and given time and dedication become a masterof sex.

[victory89]

If i you can make masturbation/edging last as long as you want and dont have ik's then it could be sensitivity or arousal, or both. When edging concentrate on the glans and find the spot that gives you most pleasure and see what diffferences you notice. If your libido is low for so long and your also depressed it could be because of the negative way you view sex. I'll just say no matter what your issue you will overcome pre e especially with help from this forum, and given time and dedication become a masterof sex.

I think it might have to do with arousal. I know my most sensitive/pleasurable area is just below my head at the top of my shaft. I think my problem might have more to do with arousal though. I become really really aroused when a girl starts moaning, and I recall that I always wanted to train myself to come the same time my girlfriend came. I think the sound sucks me into their frame and then I literally feel like I'm just as aroused as the girl is for some weird reason.

[Rybina]

I think you're really correct to practice reverse kegals, I use this technique almost every time I have "sober" sex and can actually stop myself from having an orgasm whenever I want to now, but it will take time to master it.

One thing I really really think is the best advice anybody could give you, is consider a long term relationship, instead of trying to go out and have flings. And find a girl who has very little sexual experience, a virgin, or somebody who you know for certain will want to develop feelings before having sex. That way there's trust and understanding beforehand, with enough feelings for each other to work through it. Once the pressure to perform has gone, you'll probably find the situation will improve by itself.

There is a forum on here to ask for a woman's perspective, and I bet every single woman on it would be more than happy to work through this problem together with a good man, and look forward to good sex with a good man eventually, than have good sex with a man who could turn out to be twat eventually.

Keep your chin up OP, the guys on here will get you through this, and since your part of the club now, why not start the JP90 routine, PE has been known to help with this problem, and gaining some size would boost your self esteem and confidence too.

[victory89]

Ok, some updates, had a breakthrough:

I have been practicing reverse and normal kegels lately so they are getting stronger and easier to activate.

Then earlier today I felt like testing the way the different kegels made me feel while masturbating.

Reverse kegeling while masturbating seems to not have any major effect on me at all,
but normal kegeling makes a huge difference and basically I can hit the PONR within a few seconds flat. All the blood rushes to my penis, then I get this weird tingly good feeling in the head of my penis. This tingly feeling is exactly the same feeling I experience when I have PE issues with a girl.

So what I think this comes down to is that my regular kegel muscle is unconsciously tensing up when I get very aroused, which causes too much blood to flow to my penis and makes it super sensitive, and then I blow my load almost from just thinking about anything that excites me a bit more. The problem is that it feels like there is a lot of tension in my pelvic floor that I am not controlling at all. When I'm just masturbating then that tension isn't there because I'm generally much more relaxed than I am if I am with a girl. With a girl I often get an erection pretty easily, even from kissing, and I think that slowly starts to build the tension in my pelvic floor.

So now I need to figure out how to keep my pelvic floor relaxed. Is this tension I'm experiencing due to an imbalance between my normal kegel muscle and reverse kegel muscle? If so, I guess I just need to keep strengthening my reverse kegel more and more until everything goes back to normal.

Any advice would be awesome.

[longerlastingnoob]

I think you have the same problem i had. Its those early involuntary kegels that cause your pre e. The way to stop them is by doing reverse kegels like you said. When i first tried regular kegels the same thing happened, i finished in under a min with little stimulation. I started a reverse only routine over 7 weeks ago and i've made unbelievable progress , and had i have known then what i know now it could of been a lot sooner.

[victory89]

Another update:

I just went through the kegel masterlist that minuteman posted and realised I was doing my reverse kegels wrong in a way. I was doing the root lock reverse kegel which is the back instead of the front. So from now on I will focus on the front instead.

[longerlastingnoob]

Doing them both together is better when your starting, i'm still not isolating them.