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DESPERATE need of help PLEASE :(

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  • DESPERATE need of help PLEASE :(

    hi guys. I've been doing A LOT of reading n comprehending on this site, have learned a lot, I've read the stickies and even seen guys progress, but still feel as if I'm unfixable and now I'm extremely depressed and see no light at the end of this dark tunnel.
    I'm 28, and have suffered with PE for years. Ive come to understand a few things about my body because apparently i knew nothing and this site is extremely informative. My PE is an EXTREME case and its due to poor masturbation habits my entire life. I dry masturbated since 5 to porn not knowing i should've been using some sort of lube. I've also been a heavy smoker since 16 and a heavy drinker since 17. This week I quit porn, put down the cigarettes and don't drink as much as i usually do. I began jogging 3days out of the week and plan to continue.
    My PE is super severe, as i enter my woman i feel the ponr coming and reverse kegel doesn't help in pushing it away further. Regular kegel will hold it but as soon as ANY stimulation occurs i blow my load. Even just touching it I'll blow it. When she gives me oral i can't last to save my life. 20seconds into it i blow my load in her mouth.
    I've tried edging but i think I've progressed in stopping the involuntary kegels,i just can't stop the feeling of wanting to cum as soon as stimulation occurs. When i start and feel ponr coming on, which is inside of a minute, i stop, but as soon as the feeling passes and i begin stimulation again I'm almost immediately back to that ponr. I absolutely cannot stroke my woman without being rushed by the wave of ponr. Condoms don't help, and i don't want to depend on drugs. What's wrong with me?
    Paying attention to my body I've noticed that i hold a light kegel throughout the day without realizing it. I've been working on deep breathing to eliminate it. Also I started a kegel, rk, root lock, reverse root lock program this week hoping it works.
    I read on the site about arousal levels and i completely cannot ride the wave per say. I get hard, i feel a little stimulation and its over from there. I really wanna be able to have sex where i can last even a half hour but that seems like a goal I'll never reach.
    I'm in desperate need of help guys, I'm asking not only the vets who have helped many before me like Minuteman and Pegasus, but anyone in the community who can assist in making me normal and giving me a new life. Please help me guys

  • #2
    Do more RK's than regular Kegels, doing so will train your PC muscle to relax. You also need to train your mind within controlling arousal.
    You never slow down, you never grow old!

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    • #3
      In order to avoid repetition please read some of my last posts where I reply to new members in a same way I will to you.

      What you need, as what many new member need is a starting point, a foundation, and a solid one at that, upon which you will be able to build and on which you can rely upon. The other problem, which I have faced as well is that no matter how much you try to observe you simply do not know what to look for but once you find it you wonder just how could you miss something like that.

      While there are many more aspects, these two are probably the most important, foundation and observation or better yet mindset, the other one lifestyle change which you will need to focus on to in the future if you plan to make your progress permanent but for now lets focus on the two.

      The one of the hardest for me is acceptance which refers not only to accepting that your have premature ejaculation but not allowing bad sessions to bother you, once you are able to do that the real and actual psychological healing truly begins, but lets not go that far for now. The other also important one is learning how to enjoy the process and actually derive pleasure from your sexual activity, while it sounds logical that you do, you will be amazed to just how little actual pleasure you have felt concerning your own sexuality and experiencing it.

      The first one is edging and is good with itself but gets even better with the other aspect. I have noticed trough my own experience and trough experiences of other members here that the one most useful technique that simply doesn't have any bad sides is edging. While pelvic floor routines and other can actually bring even more problems if a person if not informed about, edging is such a simple yet profoundly useful technique that it can rarely (if never) actually bring something bad, and you really don't need to know much about it to start.

      To clarify on the point of edging, edging is a masturbation with a purpose/goal in mind other than ejaculate but it can (and most of the time will) include ejaculation.

      In that light the goal of edging in your case is to last longer and then ejaculate (or not if you chose, but I thing it would be a good idea to focus on edging with the ejaculation at the end). So begin to edge see how long can you last, do not judge how long can you last, just observe, and every next time you edge try to last at least that long or even a minute (or second longer).

      When I say minute or second I don't mean that you should time your edging down to a second by alway have a sort of reference via your clock. Of course sometimes you will be able to last much longer than you ever did only to drop down the next time.

      What you are looking for here is a proof that you can actually last long. That proof does wonders to your confidence, and that proof will be your foundation.

      But edging itself, while a wonderful tool/technique can only take you that far if you don't start observing the process and learning more about your own responses, and simply learning more about premature ejaculation form the sources here and most importantly from yourself.

      This is as I have mentioned a aspect that I was not able to fully use until I have came to this forum and then slowly by both reading a lot of material and by experimenting and observing trough edging I have been able to learn much about myself in regards to arousal and pleasure and that have furthered my own edging technique even further.

      At this point all this may seem like a bunch of esoteric stuff but as you start getting the hang of it you will agree.

      So to make this more useful. Before you are two tasks. The first one is to edge at least 3 times per week and try to last as long as you did the last session or even a little bit more, during that time you will try to observe that will happen during edging. Also you will open up a log/journal in which you will describe your edging sessions and your observations about it, this is an important step because you will notice just how much you can learn from just tying down your observations let alone have them discussed with a good productive community such as this.

      The other task is for you to start reading all the info in this forum. It is long and not all of it is relevant but it will help you in your observations and in getting to know the terminology. When reading try not to ponder to much on something that bothers you to much just accept it as information for now, but if you find something that you can't just forget thinking about feel free to ask in your log/journal.

      As for the rest of the aspects I outlined here (acceptance, pleasure and lifestyle, there are probably more but those I can think of right now) they will also come as your edging technique gets better and each will propel you much further.

      This week I quit porn, put down the cigarettes and don't drink as much as i usually do. I began jogging 3days out of the week and plan to continue.
      From the aspect of lifestyle this will help you allot in the long run.

      You may wonder why I didn't added pelvic floor routine to your tasks. The truth is that many who come here do not have a major inbalance or even a weak pelvic floor and that though edging those imbalances and weaknesses can usually be fixed. Although that doesn't mean that pelvic floor exercises don't have their place here or that you will not use them, but for now edging is your best bet and your best tool, apart from actual sex.

      I hope you found this helpful, you have came to the right place, all that is left for you now is to be disciplined, dedicated and persistent and above everything enjoy the process, sensations and the pleasure.
      Minuteman
      Member of the Month March 2013.
      Last edited by Minuteman; 09-25-2014, 03:27 PM.
      premE FAQ

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      • #4
        Welcome, minuteman said it all, can't really follow with anything except that you can definitely beat this. I have in a short time, mine wasn't as severe as yours but there are people who've had it more severe ( don't even get it out of there trousers and they blow) and they have beaten it aswel, so you can do it if you follow above advice.
        A Game of Bones. A Stretch With Rice And Fire.

        Start1/04/15:BPEL:7.1 MEG:5.2 -1/07/15:BPEL:7.2 MEG:5.4

        Edging For Premature Ejaculation./
        Pelvic Floor Balance./
        Minute Man'snKegel Master List./ Reverse Kegels./
        JP90 Routine./ Conditioning Your Wang.

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        • #5
          Ruff_House - I remember when I was about 15 and experienced what you're talking about, although not quite to that degree, but almost. Now, at 49, it takes me FOREVER. Pound, pound, pound away to the point my back is killing me and she got off screaming hard 15 minutes ago. Frustrating for the both me and you.

          These guys on here can help you a lot. They've helped my psychological, unrelated problem quite a bit!

          Take care, you'll be just fine in the long run dude!

          Comment


          • #6
            thanx for the inspiring words fellas, it's greatly appreciated. Was wondering, with the 3 a week edging should i do a strictly rk routine instead of one that has k,rk,root lock, rev root lock?
            Also, is it wise to have sex after a rk routine earlier in the day? How often during the week should i do my routine?

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            • #7
              The normal begin point for edging is stop/start.
              When this is done for awhile you can look at moving on.

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              • #8
                Your k/rk routine should begin out of sex .
                MM is suggesting the begin point for you should be to learn your own body.

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