Hi all. I am a first time poster. I found PEGym about a month ago when my Pre-E finally became too much to bear. I have been married for 15 years and have been suffering with Pre-E from my very first sexual experience. I believe that hurried masturbation sessions as a teenager contributed to my Pre-E, but I honestly can't remember ever having had a sexual experience much longer than 5 minutes tops. Most times, it is within a minute of insertion.
Over the last few years, I have been doing a good bit of reading about Pre-E and I went through 2 years of trying to solve the problem with SSRI's. While they definitely delayed my ejaculation by a minute or so, they also came with a decrease in libido and weight gain. Those things combined led me to stop taking the SSRI's.
I have read all of the sticky's in the forum and I am encouraged that I can beat this thing with consistent effort and dedication. From what I've read, I think that focusing on Reverse Kegels is the first step for me. When I first read about them, I feel like I was able to perform the RK more easily. Now, it seems that I have to focus much more in order to be sure that the muscle is relaxing. Over the last week, I have been focusing on the Deep Breathing and RK on the inhale. This seems to engage the RK much more effectively. I still think that I need to develop a RK routine that I perform multiple times a day. Does anyone have a specific routine that I can use and increase the intensity over time?
I've also been edging over the last month. I used ByggD's Arousal control methods to begin my edging routine. Completely dark room, begin flaccid, no porn. I have continued to use this strategy, but should I begin adding auditory stimulation or porn? I have heard conflicting info regarding porn. Some say to eliminate it completely, some to add it a little at a time to increase your arousal. I know that during intercourse, I will be much more aroused than lying in a dark quiet room. While I am enjoying the feeling of the edging sessions, my main goal is to be able to satisfy my wife for the first time in our marriage.
My edging sessions were immediately lasting longer than 20 minutes, but there are a few points where I have to stop/slow down in order to make it past the PONR. A RK seems to slow the arousal down, but I still need to stop stroking in order to hold it off. But over the last month, it seems that my ability to stroke faster and more consistently has increased. I have tried a few times to change my position during edging from lying flat on my back to kneeling or standing, but when I begin to engage my muscles to either thrust or move my hips, I immediately begin to approach PONR and I am unable to stop. Does this mean that I am not ready to change positions yet?
I am trying throughout this process to focus on the fact that I want to last longer and that I don't actually need to ejaculate. I am just concerned that all of this work will not actually result in my lasting much longer. Please tell me I'm on the right track. I don't expect to solve this in 3 weeks, but I need to believe that this isn't going to define my life.
Over the last few years, I have been doing a good bit of reading about Pre-E and I went through 2 years of trying to solve the problem with SSRI's. While they definitely delayed my ejaculation by a minute or so, they also came with a decrease in libido and weight gain. Those things combined led me to stop taking the SSRI's.
I have read all of the sticky's in the forum and I am encouraged that I can beat this thing with consistent effort and dedication. From what I've read, I think that focusing on Reverse Kegels is the first step for me. When I first read about them, I feel like I was able to perform the RK more easily. Now, it seems that I have to focus much more in order to be sure that the muscle is relaxing. Over the last week, I have been focusing on the Deep Breathing and RK on the inhale. This seems to engage the RK much more effectively. I still think that I need to develop a RK routine that I perform multiple times a day. Does anyone have a specific routine that I can use and increase the intensity over time?
I've also been edging over the last month. I used ByggD's Arousal control methods to begin my edging routine. Completely dark room, begin flaccid, no porn. I have continued to use this strategy, but should I begin adding auditory stimulation or porn? I have heard conflicting info regarding porn. Some say to eliminate it completely, some to add it a little at a time to increase your arousal. I know that during intercourse, I will be much more aroused than lying in a dark quiet room. While I am enjoying the feeling of the edging sessions, my main goal is to be able to satisfy my wife for the first time in our marriage.
My edging sessions were immediately lasting longer than 20 minutes, but there are a few points where I have to stop/slow down in order to make it past the PONR. A RK seems to slow the arousal down, but I still need to stop stroking in order to hold it off. But over the last month, it seems that my ability to stroke faster and more consistently has increased. I have tried a few times to change my position during edging from lying flat on my back to kneeling or standing, but when I begin to engage my muscles to either thrust or move my hips, I immediately begin to approach PONR and I am unable to stop. Does this mean that I am not ready to change positions yet?
I am trying throughout this process to focus on the fact that I want to last longer and that I don't actually need to ejaculate. I am just concerned that all of this work will not actually result in my lasting much longer. Please tell me I'm on the right track. I don't expect to solve this in 3 weeks, but I need to believe that this isn't going to define my life.
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