My log, introduction and questions!

[Lukas01 Member Find all posts View Profile Close Lukas01]

So first of all I will introduce myself. I am 21 years and am suffering from preE since I can remember. First time mastrubating was probably at the age of 11. Was really obsessed with anything related to sex. Later on I found out porn don't know at what age exactly. But what I still do know is that I never lasted long. Probably for about 3/4 minutes maximum when watching porn.

So being that young and already suffering from preE I already wanted to last longer. Couldn't stand the fact that I had no control and had no option to last longer. This went on for some years and eventually I went from mastrubating twice a day to not mastrubating at all. The fact that I came so soon worried me about eventually getting a girlfriend at the age of 15/16. Really worried me before actually experiencing it.

At the age of 20 I had my first sexual encounter and as expected I lasted for around 10 seconds. I was really stressed about it and what she would think. Worried about maybe she telling her friends etc. etc. So then I thought I must do something about this. Sadly to say I bought e-books got scammed a couple of time in what they promised to be solutions. Ofcourse this was a scam but well maybe that had to happen. So that didn't work and I wouldn't believe it had to do with my pelvic floor.

This is the time I went to the docter and got a offlabel antidepressant. Made me last alot longer but bad erections and couldnt ejaculate from mastrubating anymore. And getting a blowjob still made me come in about 4minutes not that is fast. I knew this wasnt the solution and decided I would quit my relationship to focus on solving my preE. So now I quit the antidepressant and here I am.

Started edging three days ago and I last 20 minutes easy without stimulation. I try not to kegel when mastrubating and be as relaxed as I can. When I use imagination mastrubate quicker I reach PONR very fast. It's like I skip all my arousal levels and just skyrocket to the PONR mark. Read on this forum about plateau edging and that's where I am going for now. I did kegel before and trained it alot so maybe made it worse and now I focus on RK.

So now I introduced myself I noticed something yesterday while mastrubating. Just had a slow pace and focussed on not kegeling and keeping my pelvic floor relaxed. Although I did notice this and I wonder if this is a kegel. Everytime I start mastrubating I feel my muscels flex a little bit. When I then stop they relax but the same happens when I start again. I am a little bit confused if this is naturally and should happen or that this is a light kegel. It feels like it but maybe I am wrong. When I feel the skin between the balls and the anus it does tense up a bit.

So I would really like to ask if someone can fill me in on this. Anyways I am really motivated to get this going and just improve my Premature Ejaculation. I am certain that in the long term I will solve it and excited about that. I will keep this thread up to date. I am sure I will have more questions and maybe someone reads this long story and feels the urge to help out haha!

I am sorry for the bad english!! If someone has some tips about this thread feel free btw! Maybe shorthen it a little bit but I just typed this down to make the step of starting a thread (: !

[Minuteman Member of the Month March 2013. Find all posts View Profile Close Minuteman]

At first I thought it might be involuntary kegels but on further inspection I think it is just a habit you have developed, as you edge more and try to consciously relax in different positions it should pass.

For now just keep up with the edging and reverse kegels as you wanted, also include wall deep squat stretches (read deep squat based stretches entry in the firs t post )every morning and before bed, and well as meditative reverse kegels before edging and see how that goes for about 2-3 weeks.

In the mean while when you notice something interesting about edging post it in your log. Also be sure to read logs of other members here since they also contain valuable information and maybe will give you more ideas how you should progress, but at least for the first 2-3 weeks just focus on the above.

[Lukas01 Member Find all posts View Profile Close Lukas01]

Thanks alot for your reply, means alot to me! Alright I will just try to get rid of that habit. One thing I wondered if I masturbate should nothing happen inside of my penis in terms of tensing? So if I have just a erect penis I feel no tension nothing and as soon as I touch my penis or masturbate something tenses up or flexes inside of my penis and in the region between the anus and balls. So while masturbating the same feeling as just being erect only.

I will put some time in getting used to do deep squats, I do autogenic training aswell to have an option to relax while in stressed situations. I believe that being stressed with the whole situation of busting so early is just making it worse. So I try to turn the negative thinking into positive and just wait with the whole girlfriend thing untill I get this under control.

[Minuteman Member of the Month March 2013. Find all posts View Profile Close Minuteman]

Thanks alot for your reply, means alot to me! Alright I will just try to get rid of that habit. One thing I wondered if I masturbate should nothing happen inside of my penis in terms of tensing? So if I have just a erect penis I feel no tension nothing and as soon as I touch my penis or masturbate something tenses up or flexes inside of my penis and in the region between the anus and balls. So while masturbating the same feeling as just being erect only.

I will put some time in getting used to do deep squats, I do autogenic training aswell to have an option to relax while in stressed situations. I believe that being stressed with the whole situation of busting so early is just making it worse. So I try to turn the negative thinking into positive and just wait with the whole girlfriend thing untill I get this under control.

Since in sex and in some more vigorous edging your body will move it is natural that you will have some movement and tension there, what we aim is that there is no overall kegel or reverse kegel activity, in other words we try to keep our pelvic floor neutral.

That being said, many beginners have trouble with that (granted many members in general regardless) so instead of having a neutral pelvic floor most opt for holding a slight reverse kegel during edging etc, so you might want to try that as well and see how it goes for you.

As for the girlfriend, I think that is not a good idea. I think that if you are open about it and happen to find a partner that understands that you will be able to make more substantial progress with your partner, since the best way to train for sex is to actually have sex. This is a nice example of a member using the help of his partner in order to fix his premature ejaculation problem.

Gen you give more info on this autogenic training? Are you using some particular source for the exercises etc?

[Dangler Senior Administrator☼ Wizard ☼ White Tiger Award 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Dangler]

Welcome aboard matey. Yo ho !

[longerlastingnoob Senior Member Member of the Month Jan 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close longerlastingnoob]

Hi man, Minuteman said all thats needed. Edging may be the key to beating your pre e. But working on pelvic floor balance is always good, just don't overdo as it might not be needed in the first place.
Good luck, you can beat it.

[Lukas01 Member Find all posts View Profile Close Lukas01]

Since in sex and in some more vigorous edging your body will move it is natural that you will have some movement and tension there, what we aim is that there is no overall kegel or reverse kegel activity, in other words we try to keep our pelvic floor neutral.

That being said, many beginners have trouble with that (granted many members in general regardless) so instead of having a neutral pelvic floor most opt for holding a slight reverse kegel during edging etc, so you might want to try that as well and see how it goes for you.

After you posted I tried it again just figuring out what it is that I am experiencing. Tried to hold a RK and then start masturbating but the tensing wins it, the tensing actually is a kegel it is the same muscle that I use to kegel just not to full extend. When I hold my penis with my hand my PC is relaxed when I make the first stroke I immediatly kegel to like 40-60% I believe.

Note that this is what I think that is happening. Because when I then masturbate I am holding what I believe a 40-60% kegel, when I actually kegel myself the muscle just hardens to like 100%, when I kegel when I am not masturbating I go from relaxed to 100%. So I believe I am actually kegeling all the time when I am sexually active.

This reminds me of something that happened to me while having sex with my girlfriend. First I used a anti depressant and then I could thrust for a good amount of time but sometimes while I was not even close to PONR my PC started to give one kegel and that ended up in a spasm making me ejaculate without a real orgasm experience. This happened to me multiple times.

As for the girlfriend, I think that is not a good idea. I think that if you are open about it and happen to find a partner that understands that you will be able to make more substantial progress with your partner, since the best way to train for sex is to actually have sex. This is a nice example of a member using the help of his partner in order to fix his premature ejaculation problem.

Gen you give more info on this autogenic training? Are you using some particular source for the exercises etc?

Actually I had two girlfriends the first I had sex with ended in may, this is where I stopped anti depressants. Later I had another girlfriend and I came in like 30 secs most of the time. Started experimenting with L-tryptofan and other medicine. Had times where I lasted 3-4mins and then back to 30sec it just wasn't a long term fix. The girlfriend was aware of my situation I even visited a therapist and she knew about that. It was just me telling myself I could not give her the pleasure she wanted, that made me end the relationship. Maybe this is not the best solution, but I can't help but think negative about it sometimes.

Maybe you are right and in the end I must just accept it. She even said after I broke up with her that it really didn't bother her because I actually was trying to improve. Hopefully I can get it sorted up in my head that I quit thinking that negative about it, because you have a point.

About the autogenic training, this is a method used by Dr. Schulz. It lays focus on relaxing the muscles, promote bloodflow (hope this is how you say it), steady the heartbeat, steady the breath and keeping a relaxed mind. It helps staying calm and not being that stressed. I had periods were I would think a whole day straigth about PreE. I will add a link to the guide I use. I just started the part where I focus on the breath. Autogenics -- A self-help training schedule

[Lukas01 Member Find all posts View Profile Close Lukas01]

Thanks alot Dangler and longerlastingnoob. It actually motivates me alot that there are so many helpful people on this forum. Lot of times I just thought there was no cure for PreE atleast not naturally. But as I am reading people their Log's and other forum threads I start to get my hopes up!

[longerlastingnoob Senior Member Member of the Month Jan 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close longerlastingnoob]

Just to say theres more than just hope, and being on this forum makes it a lot more.

[sexmaster Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close sexmaster]

Sad that are so many young guys here because no one educated them about this topic...
On the other hand, is good that you are here and working on fixing it. Can relate to a lot of what you are saying. Keep posting, don't settle

[Minuteman Member of the Month March 2013. Find all posts View Profile Close Minuteman]

Maybe you are right and in the end I must just accept it. She even said after I broke up with her that it really didn't bother her because I actually was trying to improve. Hopefully I can get it sorted up in my head that I quit thinking that negative about it, because you have a point.

About the autogenic training, this is a method used by Dr. Schulz. It lays focus on relaxing the muscles, promote bloodflow (hope this is how you say it), steady the heartbeat, steady the breath and keeping a relaxed mind. It helps staying calm and not being that stressed. I had periods were I would think a whole day straigth about PreE. I will add a link to the guide I use. I just started the part where I focus on the breath. Autogenics -- A self-help training schedule

Acceptance of premature ejaculation is something you must do in order to start the healing process it is the denial that just creates more problems.

The autogenics remind me very much of yoga nidra so you might want to give it a shot as well since I found it to be very beneficial overall.

To learn yoga nidra all you need to do it follow the instructions in this video (there is a mp3 downlod link in the description that is better to use)

[Lukas01 Member Find all posts View Profile Close Lukas01]

Acceptance of premature ejaculation is something you must do in order to start the healing process it is the denial that just creates more problems.

The autogenics remind me very much of yoga nidra so you might want to give it a shot as well since I found it to be very beneficial overall.

To learn yoga nidra all you need to do it follow the instructions in this video (there is a mp3 downlod link in the description that is better to use)

If I have some spare time I will try this out, thanks!

In the meanwhile I did edge yesterday for about 20 minutes. The more I focus on when I kegel and what muscle it is it seems I notice it more easily. While masturbating I am holding a permanent kegel for like +-50%. Now I set a new goal to learn how not to kegel when touching my penis. Actually it made me very excited to know that this was something I did. I am aware about kegels for quite some time now but never really took time to really focus on it. I did train my kegel muscle alot and I really think it is just to tense. Whenever I touch my penis I IK. Now I am focusing on it while peeing aswell and I notice that in order to stop my pee stream I have to kegel. If I don't pay attention to it I kegel about 8 times. When I do focus not to kegel I can minimize it to one kegel at the end. Is it possible not to kegel at all and put your penis back in the boxershorts? It gives me a feeling of not closing of the stream of urine when I not kegel voluntarely for one time at the end.

So now my focus lies on trying my RK trying to relax the PC. Started digging around today and found a thread about penis stretching. This seems like a very helpful method for my case. I will start doing this every day and see if it helps. At the moment when I try to RK it is either just not working or I don't notice it. When I try to RK and then masturbate to keep the kegel away the kegel will always win. This motivated me even more to let the RK win from the kegel so I can masturbate without holding a permanent kegel. If I reach this goal I can eventually start eliminating IK's while masturbating and in the end train myself to get rid of that habit.

In a summary very happy with my findings so soon. Got some new things to work on, and I am 100% certain I must be able to achieve this. If someone reads this and questions some of my findings please leave some feedback! I am just making assumptions based on information I find on this forum and what I feel myself.

[longerlastingnoob Senior Member Member of the Month Jan 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close longerlastingnoob]

No questions on your findings there spot on keep at it and good luck.

[Lukas01 Member Find all posts View Profile Close Lukas01]

So today I did some penis stretches which felt good. After that I tried to focus on reverse kegeling. Really tried to set my mind on it.

Really curious though to what I should feel if RK'ing. As of now when I try it I breathe out push with my lower abdomen and try to visualize myself extending my penis with bloodflow. When I really focus on it it feels like something moves there but im not 100% convinced yet hopefully someone can help me out here whether I am going the right way?

Secondly I did some edging after but I didnt really like that fact that I am holding that permanent kegel. So I tried my best not to kegel when stroking but as of now it is impossible for me. Does this mean I have to strengthen my RK's? If I try a RK when erect (what I believe to be RK as of now) and the try to start masturbating it immediatly goes from RK to a kegel. Can someone relate to this? Would really love some feedback on this because I am left out with some questions.

[longerlastingnoob Senior Member Member of the Month Jan 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close longerlastingnoob]

Your rk jus needs to develop, thats why it turns into a kegel because there underdeveloped and kegels are overdeveloped. Also have to untrain yourself to quickly kegel while edging.
Don't push the rk out when you breath out, do it when you breath in. Then release when you breath out. Don't breath fast just normal ( or slightly slower) breathing.