RisingHope's Journey to cure PreE

[RisingHope Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close RisingHope]

Hi,I'm RisingHope and a long time lurker. But I had to admit that I won't get very far alone or that it would take way more time than needed so, here I am,hoping that the feedback I get from this forum will be able to guide me more efficiently to my goal.

Since we gotta start somewhere,I'll share my story with you. I discovered pornography pretty early in my life. My first encounter with that medium was at the age of 8 years. Now don't worry it wasn't anything hardcore. It was one of those softcore movie that would be aired at midnight(if anyone live in the province of Quebec and watched TQS back when it still existed,they'll know the word Bleu Nuit lol). I only watched a bit and it didn't trigger much in me.

Skipping forward by 4 years. Ah...12 years old. The dreaded puberty. No I was not rebellious, but I sure was horny as hell! I had my first ejaculation by rubbing myself on a pillow until I came. From that moment forward, I'd masturbate by rubbing myself on a pillow or using a calendar with sexy women that I found. At that period I didn't have a computer...yet. When I finally got my computer, I still remember the first search I ever made on Google: XXX. I still remember how overwhelmed I was. My heart was beating very fast. I was seeing a women naked for the first time. It wasn't softcore crap where you don't even see her genitals. I masturbated and came a lot. Porn was my new drug. I would masturbate pretty even every other day and sometimes, twice in a row.As far as I can remember it was never longer than 10 non-continuous minutes. I would use a light grip and do the start-stop techinique when I reached PONR,until I decided to blow it.(I still do that when I relapse,but that's another issue.). This period where I was hooked on porn lasted for pretty much 5 years...

17 years old...Porn starts to feel boring...I need to watch more bizzare genres to get off...I won't share the details, but I hit the lowest of the lowest genres possible. At 18 years old, I want to become a sex machine like in porn and last 1h30 or something. So I started kegeling with no particular plan other than to do a crapton of Kegels and becoming a MMO and DO. At some point I was doing like 200 kegels x 2 per day.

Very recently(as in 5 months ago), I decided to lose my virginity. So I went to a massage parlor and chose some chubby girl. Fake massage and stuff, when prompted I ask for full intercourse. No teasing or anything she puts some lube and gets in cowgirl position. 30 secs later and I was done. She even said: "Already?". I felt kinda awkward but deep down I knew it was bound to end like this the first time. I left...pretty pissed off about sex.

A month later,I went to another massage parlor and picked a decent girl this time. Got to play around a bit more. She gave me a blowjob with a condom on and I didn't blow it instantly. Thought it was a sign that I was already used to sex. We got into doggy style position and after about 30 secs I was done...again. At least she didn't make any commentary...

A month later(seeing a pattern here lol), I went to a nuru massage parlor. They don't go full intercourse,only a handjob. Also the girl spends more time massaging you. After some time,you switch side and she does some body to body and you can touch her. When she grabbed my penis to release me, I blew it...after 6-7 strokes. At this point I was suspecting that something is wrong. I mean,by the 3rd sexual encounter,I should be able to last at least 5 minutes right?

About 3 weeks later is when I started to get desperate a bit. I went and did it with some ugly 48 year old granny. She was pretty overweight(face wasn't that bad). She started by trying to give me a blowjob(no condom),but as soon as she started licking,I felt like I was going to cum just like that. I went down on her to last longer. Then we switched to doggy. Yep, as you guessed after a few thrusts, I could feel the PONR so I was doing the stop-start technique as usual. She wasn't wet at all and so after some rather intensive thrusting,I could feel something snap. Lo and behold, my penis was all bloody. Frenulum snapped. I hurried to cum,then I got the f*** out of there as soon as I could,cursing the thing known as sex.

2 weeks later(lol), I went to a massage parlor again. This time it was some cheap a** asian with saggy tits. We immediately got into it. She started by giving me a blowjob(with cap on)...and I almost came in 10 secs. Told her to stop,she giggled a bit(Tch.). We got into missionary and I was thrusting, I already knew I wouldn't last...again!. I left sad and depressed and stayed that way for a few days. At this point, I was researching like a mad scientist on the subject of PreE. I was already doing Minuteman's DO routine in order to bring back pelvic floor balance(currently at Lvl 0,Sublevel 0.3). In the meanwhile,I had relapsed to porn after 30 days of abstinence.

October 27th...Nuru..again.Sensual BS and stuff. Still blew it after 6-7 strokes.
November 1st...Massage parlor...again. This time I was able to last 1 min? It seemed to have lasted 1 min anyway.Relapsed to porn on November 3rd and 8th... and this is my story so far. Nice to meet you all, and I already thank you for the feedback I'll probably get from members


So far I'm only doing Minuteman's DO routine and ammonite's Plateau Edging(when I can find some privacy). If you have any additonal routine suggestions or questions,feel free to ask

[Dangler Senior Administrator☼ Wizard ☼ White Tiger Award 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Dangler]

I'll just say thanks for joining, and wish you success !

[RisingHope Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close RisingHope]

Day 1(November 11^th 2014): Finally starting this journey. Hopefully, by the end of the 7 months, I’ll be able to experience the plateau phase (aka deriving real pleasure from sex).

Observations: I’ve given up fairly quickly on edging while sitting. It’s not challenging enough (I could literally last forever while sitting.), but more importantly, sex is not something that is done while sitting. Most of the time, you’re either on your knees or standing. So I started edging while standing. As I thought, using zero thoughts leads to me feeling nothing at all. I even had trouble keeping myself hard halfway through. I tried increasing the stroke speed and that led to me almost reaching the PONR while being semi-erect.


I also tried edging while squatting and as I thought, it was also about to make me reach PONR. Tomorrow, I’ll try edging while being on my knees (kind of like the missionary position).
IKs are still there. Even worse, they’ve seem to get faster. (1 per 0, 5sec---1 per 0, 25sec) Reverse Kegels don’t seem to have an effect yet (I’ll keep holding one while edging anyway, until it eventually starts having an effect on IKs)

[RisingHope Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close RisingHope]

Day 2(November 12^th 2014): Ugh, privacy. So hard to have privacy…my only haven to edge is the toilet.

Observations: As promised yesterday, today I edged a bit while kneeling. It was pretty much the same as standing or sitting. With a blank mind, I feel no arousal and no sensation. Today though, my pelvic floor feels sore for some reason. I don’t think it had an effect on my edging…Anyway IKs are still there and I expect them to be there until I make some more progress in Minuteman’s DO routine.


My pelvic floor will rebalance itself eventually but only if I continue to do my exercises. I also made an interesting observation. The faster I stroke, the faster my IKs get, adding even more pressure.

[chemicalagent420 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close chemicalagent420]

I belong to several foreskin restoration groups. Many of the men that experience premature ejaculation in our group are the ones that are most tightly circumcised. Because of the lack of free moving skin these guys experience way more friction than an intact man, and still a good bit more than a man who is loosely circumcised. If this is you then you would benefit tremendously from foreskin restoration. There is a forum here at PEGYM but it will most likely direction to a few outside sites, because it is relatively new to this site.

[longerlastingnoob Senior Member Member of the Month Jan 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close longerlastingnoob]

Hi man, your in the right place to overcome this.
You say you use rk to stop ik's ( although with no joy) are you doing rk's in a routine?

[Minuteman Member of the Month March 2013. Find all posts View Profile Close Minuteman]

Well as you see yourself one of the things you have to deal is your porn addiction, because in the long term it will be one of the reasons you will not be able to overcome premature ejaculation and might eventually end up with ED as well which is even worse.

Due to porn you also developed a sort of disconnection from your own arousal, so you will need to regain that though edging for an extended amounts of time near PONR using your imagination as arousal source for now (later on sensations will be arousal enough). Since it is not a good idea to use porn a different approach should be uses, so something like literary erotica would not be a bad idea.

Starting to pursue meaningful relationships might also be a good idea since in order to fix this you need an understanding partner that will be patient enough, not to mention that you should have sex in a more relaxed familiar space.

[RisingHope Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close RisingHope]

Hi man, your in the right place to overcome this.
You say you use rk to stop ik's ( although with no joy) are you doing rk's in a routine?

Kinda. I'm doing minuteman's DO(which includes some RK exercises) routine to see if I could re balance my pelvic floor. Wondering if I should just stick to an RK routine instead

[longerlastingnoob Senior Member Member of the Month Jan 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close longerlastingnoob]

How long have you been doing mm's routine?

[RisingHope Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close RisingHope]

How long have you been doing mm's routine?

about 5-6 weeks. according to my schedule next week I should be at LVL 0,Sublevel 0.4

[RisingHope Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close RisingHope]

Day 3(November 13^th 2014): Ugh, I’ve had this annoying feeling in my testicles for 2 days in a row. It feels like my testes are literally sore…A result of doing RK’s while moving? Morning or Night, I should save a moment to properly and calmly do my routines instead of trying to save some time by multi-tasking.

Observations: I started by edging the normal way: Stroking my trunk in a slow, controlled manner while having a blank mind. Could not even get erect until a sexual image flashed across my mind. Now erect, I continued to stroke. No arousal, no sensations. I decided to vary it a bit.

Continued stroking with a blank mind and controlled manner, but I focused only on my glans. It was different and quite amazing, compared to trunk-stroking. I could actually feel the physical effects of PreE such as involuntary kegels and legs tensing up instead of just seeing symptoms like constant twitching. I continued stroking until I felt the PONR, after about 8 minutes. Paused then went at it for another 3 minutes and I just decided to let it go. Don’t know if this is plateau edging,but it sure was effective!

[RisingHope Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close RisingHope]

.

Due to porn you also developed a sort of disconnection from your own arousal, so you will need to regain that though edging for an extended amounts of time near PONR using your imagination as arousal source for now (later on sensations will be arousal enough). Since it is not a good idea to use porn a different approach should be uses, so something like literary erotica would not be a bad idea.

Starting to pursue meaningful relationships might also be a good idea since in order to fix this you need an understanding partner that will be patient enough, not to mention that you should have sex in a more relaxed familiar space.

Do you mean that any arousal level lower than what I am used to feels bland and that the direct result of this is my body overreacting during intercourse( kinda like someone lifting 5lbs with the same intensity as 50lbs)

Also,you're totally right about meaningful relationships. I wanted to experiment a bit and luckily I did,because other wise I would have found out months or years later with a girlfriend. Meaningless sex also feels very bland and empty... like it's missing some kind of spice

[Minuteman Member of the Month March 2013. Find all posts View Profile Close Minuteman]

Do you mean that any arousal level lower than what I am used to feels bland and that the direct result of this is my body overreacting during intercourse( kinda like someone lifting 5lbs with the same intensity as 50lbs)

Also,you're totally right about meaningful relationships. I wanted to experiment a bit and luckily I did,because other wise I would have found out months or years later with a girlfriend. Meaningless sex also feels very bland and empty... like it's missing some kind of spice

Your body is reacting pretty much as it should but you are not used to high level or arousal, there is arousal control and then there is arousal conditioning, most need both in some degree to fix the problem. While arousal control usually means using your breath, focus and pelvic floor muscles to control the level of your arousal (just because it is control it doesn't mean you just control it downwards but upwards as well) arousal conditioning means exposing your self to high arousal for an increased amount of time and simply getting used to it.

One of the malformed ways you had arousal conditioning is trough porn but all that did was dull your arousal instead of letting you feel the same intensity of it all while not being negatively affected as much and while still reaping the positive benefits of high arousal in other words pleasure.

So what you need to do is to reintroduce high-arousal properly back (sensual edging near ponr for an extended amounts of time), then learn to maintain it for an increased amount of time (3day routine), learn to control it (https://www.pegym.com/forums/prematu...echniques.html and https://www.pegym.com/forums/prematu...-response.html).

When doing whatever pelvic floor routine, never do it absentmindedly, devote your full focus to it. This means not having any distractions at all. Also if you feel that your pelvic floor is fatigued take a break, learn your body's rhythm and try to match the pelvic floor routine to it.

Did you visit a doctor about the frenulum?

[RisingHope Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close RisingHope]

Your body is reacting pretty much as it should but you are not used to high level or arousal, there is arousal control and then there is arousal conditioning, most need both in some degree to fix the problem. While arousal control usually means using your breath, focus and pelvic floor muscles to control the level of your arousal (just because it is control it doesn't mean you just control it downwards but upwards as well) arousal conditioning means exposing your self to high arousal for an increased amount of time and simply getting used to it.

One of the malformed ways you had arousal conditioning is trough porn but all that did was dull your arousal instead of letting you feel the same intensity of it all while not being negatively affected as much and while still reaping the positive benefits of high arousal in other words pleasure.

So what you need to do is to reintroduce high-arousal properly back (sensual edging near ponr for an extended amounts of time), then learn to maintain it for an increased amount of time (3day routine), learn to control it (https://www.pegym.com/forums/prematu...echniques.html and https://www.pegym.com/forums/prematu...-response.html).

When doing whatever pelvic floor routine, never do it absentmindedly, devote your full focus to it. This means not having any distractions at all. Also if you feel that your pelvic floor is fatigued take a break, learn your body's rhythm and try to match the pelvic floor routine to it.

Did you visit a doctor about the frenulum?

Thank you for such detailed explanation. Based on what you said, does this look like a good program:


-4 days of plateau edging,that is edging while staying away from PONR, in order to focus on countering IKs, controlling my arousal with Arousal techniques and restoring my plateau phase.

-3 day routine in order to get used to high levels of arousal over an extended period of time.


The only thing I'm not certain about is my pelvic floor routine(currently doing Dry Orgasm Routine). Would it be better to solely focus on RK or continue doing the whole set of exercises(K,RK, RL,RRL)? Either way, I'd do that pelvic floor routine every day and i'd take breaks if i feel sore or fatigued.


PS: No haven't seen a doctor. For now I'll just take it easy,it's mostly healed

[longerlastingnoob Senior Member Member of the Month Jan 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close longerlastingnoob]

For now see what inpact your current routine has, worry about changes or adding/taking away later on.