PE, I'm struggling

[G1088 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close G1088]

Hello everyone! I'm here to share my experience & trouble & hopefully cure them. Then on from that I'd like to offer help too. So anyways, I'm 27 male from the UK. I've been with my partner now for 9 years, most of my sexual life with her & before her was fine! I could last long enough & control myself really well. What's happened I have no idea?! These last couple of years have been horrible & really hard to cope with. I can still please my partner every time so she feels there isn't an issue. But I literally can't last 10 seconds, why this is happening to me now? I have no idea. Hopefully with some tips from you all I can get rid of this demon.

Thanks in advance,
G1088

[Closed054 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Closed054]

Hi and welcome to you!! The guys have some great advice for you, also check out the AP90 if you are a porn addict, alot of people are and this may help you as well. Best wishes

[FalconFire Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close FalconFire]

Heya G1088, welcome!

First thing to always keep in mind is that anxiety over sex can make things that aren't a big deal into a problem. You start obsessing and going crazy. Don't do that to yourself, because it's usually nowhere near the problem guys can blow it up to be in their head.

There are some great articles on kegels and learning to edge. Have you changed your dietary intake or supplemental intake that would impact being super turned on? One thing guys get hung up on is that they think once they cum, it's over. Sure, we have refractory periods (well, assuming you aren't tinkering with inhibitors), but we can still feel the pleasure of all other kinds of things and spend a long time on all the other physical sensations. And, if you go once and then spend time playing, you can usually go again (and again, depending on your stamina). The second time will be longer, because you already went off.

There are also de-sensitizing creams and such if that's the worry.

Lots of things to try, and that's part of the fun of learning. Make this into a game of exploration, and your anxiety over it will go way down.

[G1088 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close G1088]

Thanks to both of you for your replies.

I wouldn't say I have a problem with porn, I used to watch it a lot but I cut it out about two months ago & hardly ever get the urge to even watch it now.

I think that is probably the problem with me right now is that I'm over thinking everything, I need to learn to relax again & free my mind of the stress. How do I do this though?!

My diet is pretty healthy tbh, I do take protein as I workout a few times a week.

I never tried the de-sensitising creams as I've read it can pass on to her & will ruin it for her?

[jockinthebox Retired Moderator Member of the Month May 2015PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close jockinthebox]

I'd leave the de-sensitizing creams alone. The ones that work contain lidocaine as an active ingredient and some condoms have it in their lubrication, but a better alternative is some key focus on exercises to help you overcome your pre-E.

First develop a kegel routine with 60:40 ratio of K:RK. RK should be your focus to learn them properly. They feel like you're forcing a piss internally. The best practice exercises to build RK's is deep flat-footed squats and yoga poses (dog/cat) at the people gym. Proper breathing is also key, so focus on meditative deep abs breathing during PE & sex to help control arousal. Giving up PORN is a GREAT IDEA as it trains the brain to seek quicker satisfaction and dopamine surges through ejaculation. Instead, learn to edge instead of masturbate, reaching PONR 3 or more times during 20 minutes or more, then before ejaculation, backing off using stop/start or ballooning, then continuing to edge. It will train your body as well as your brain to better interpret IK's on the rise, and allow you to RK holding off ejaculation.

It's a lot to learn, and takes a LOT of practice, but it's well worth the effort for a lifetime of control and the confidence you'll gain from being a satisfying partner for your mate.

[longerlastingnoob Senior Member Member of the Month Jan 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close longerlastingnoob]

If you masturbate a lot more now then you used to ( 9 years I'm going to assume you do ) and rush straight to orgasm, it's a developed response. Read this.
https://www.pegym.com/forums/prematu...aculation.html

Rk is like forcing out your pee, kegel is holding it in, opposing movements.

[G1088 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close G1088]

Ok, now I'm getting a little lost with all the acronyms lol I know what levels are but I have no idea what k:rk or rk is?

I will have a look at some breathing exercises to do.

I have been edging, I can usually last around 20 minutes and control it pretty well. It's only when i seem to get to aroused that it's hard to stop.

I probably do masturbate more these days so should I cut it out all together? I mean like only edging, should I orgasm every time? I'll have a look at that guide now.

Thanks

[Cavalier Retired Super Moderator Member of the Month Feb 2015PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Cavalier]

Welcome aboard!

The members above have given you some great advice. You can beat this and can find a lot of great information as well as advice here. A great place to start is in the MUST READ Sticky Threads - Premature Ejaculation Forum.

Good luck.

[Jr3 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Jr3]

My experience shows that mental anxiet translates directly to premature ejaculation. In addition, some psychological illnesses and imbalances in cerebral chemicals can cause an uncontrollable response to stimulation.

I personally suffered from this and had multiple tests done. At first I thought it was prostatitis causing my PE, but they found everything to be normal. So I started seeing a therapist about anxiety and some other issues, that helped tremendously. I'm currently on a very low dose of Lexapro, which has made my PE all but vanish. My hope is that in a few months I'll taper off the drugs and be in a much more stable state of being. This includes confidence building, working my pelvic floor via kegels, and working here in the PEGym.

My experience was similar. I never had the problem prior, but some life situations happened and sort of took my mental anxiety over the edge, which greatly increased my PE.

[longerlastingnoob Senior Member Member of the Month Jan 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close longerlastingnoob]

Lexapro causes delayed ejaculation and annorgasmia

[Dangler Senior Administrator☼ Wizard ☼ White Tiger Award 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Dangler]

Sometime, I recall members suggesting controlled - breathing; in that you need to concentrate more on your breathing than on your activities below the beltline.
May want to research that.

[G1088 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close G1088]

Brilliant, thanks guys. I'll be busy reading up on everything you have suggested so far & getting to know the forum a little better

[plays alot Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close plays alot]

Good Luck, G1088. Everything you need is here. Much like yourself, I was able to last in bed prior to developing pre E. The causes and cures are the same for a virgin as it is for a sexually experienced person. You will most likely be in more control than ever once you figure things out.

[G1088 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close G1088]

Thanks! I've been reading different threads each day for little tips etc. im currently lasting around 22mins with no stimulation or ejaculation. The hardest part will be bringing photos etc in & trying not to get to aroused!

[G1088 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close G1088]

Just a little update, today I managed to get to the 20 minute mark edging & only got to the the ponr twice, I managed to RK & keep on going which I was so happy. I could feel my body starting to tense up! Which made me think I've been tensing up for so long trying to get a fuller erection & it's been contributing to my problems. I'm starting to get the feel back in my body now & recognise different signs. I need to relax my PF muscles more, so I'll be doing more stretches & RK's