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Hello, just wanted to dump some thoughts on this, as in the past the topic came up again and again (no pun intended).
Thing was, at the time, which was some years ago now, that I was working on my own Pre E, I saw no way of desensitising. I also didn't and still don't agree with numbing creams.
And desensitising, in itself, isn't the answer.
But, since beating this, 90% of the time at least (though I think that's normal, and everyone pops early from time to time), my sexual activity has gone skywards. Something that we can all agree is as good a treatment as any. Because look, as important as pelvic floor fitness is for balance, so that when you really need to stop yourself and catch t, you can. If your body doesn't anyway of course (balance = body happy, expected response etc), as important as that is, it's only a part of the puzzle. Foundations perhaps, but not an answer on its own.
The rest of the time, you need to get yourself and your body used to the sensations of higher arousal. Which is where edging and peaking and more sex come in.
Now when you're well on the way, lets call it stage 3 ... if stage 1 is killing IKs and working on kegel balance, stage 2 is self awareness via edging and peaking, this has to be stage 3 ... then, and only then, can you look at desensitisation.
In all honesty, I found that with balance, awareness and training (read: fucking) I became a bit desensitised anyway. Enough anyway. I also found that I could move energy around and take the focus off my cock which helped too. But here, with that massive intro out of the way, I'm gonna talk about physical desensitisation.
OK. Here's the thing. I have this last year been using vibrators to get myself off solo. I didn't know I could, but yep... turns out you can. And boy, what an O. It's also been part of my exploration into the idea that men can have female Os if we take their path. That's going well. But here's the thing. Since using a more punchy vibe, and deliberately going for the most sensitive spots, partly testing, partly exploration of limits, I've found that without a vibe, it's become much, MUCH harder to finish in the normal way.
Couple of things about this.
1) That result is basically the same forced DE that MDMA did to me, and I presume prescription SSRIs too.
2) I've spoken to a lot of women about this, all of this, and a lot of women say they don't like vibes because they desensitise them and with too much play, they can't get off without one. Sound familiar?
And it asks the question of what's in play, as orgasm and arousal is as much mental as physical, like plenty of people can orgasm through thought alone. But here I was yesterday, post too much vibe desensitisation, unable to finish no matter how furiously and angrily I tried.
It's not like I wasn't turned on. God, the journey of beating Pre E, I've learned to plateau at length, and often, ten minutes plus of swimming at 9+ kicks the shit out of any orgasms I used to have, and that's without even completing. So mentally, believe me, I was aroused. It all felt amazing. I was just desperate for the final boom... so I could stop! I was getting tired!
But nope. Just couldn't do it.
Now I've always been of the opinion that good training is to hit your most sensitive spots, to push yourself. Just like weightlifting or something. Use peaking to get there if you need to. It's like foreplay and pushes your PoNR away as you limber up. But what I'm saying is that the intensity of hammering your hotspots with a powerful vibe (which incidentally never blew the lid, it was just intense), that physically desensitised me to the fuck-all-night-never-cum place.... In a couple of days.
Now what I'm working on, via the journey of seeking female orgasm, is building an orgasm that comes from your head, your chest, your pelvis, your body, and maybe that'll get me to the magic place of being able to orgasm at will. And I'm wondering that now with all my training and practice, some gentle, some clean, some aggressive, some illicit, to push my PoNR away, should I have also spent that time learning how to pull it down too?
Actually, that's also an open question I might also post on the Gym. We talk here about control, about beating Pre E, about DO and MMO, but do we talk about strategies for fully controlling our arousal and PoNR to literally hold off as long as we want, and to finish on command?
It's still a journey. Five years later. But what a journey! There will be answers. And these pleasures will be yours Pre E-ers. Things you never would have learned without Pre E will become something you look back on as a gift. Trust me on that.
To reiterate what some have said here on thread, I talk about desensitisation with powerful enough vibes on your most sensitive spots. IT WORKS.
But.
BE REALLY DAMN CAREFUL. After a week of doing this, I have only just been able to finish and cum again, two weeks later.
I've written a little more in reply 31
But.
BE REALLY DAMN CAREFUL. After a week of doing this, I have only just been able to finish and cum again, two weeks later.
I've written a little more in reply 31
Thing was, at the time, which was some years ago now, that I was working on my own Pre E, I saw no way of desensitising. I also didn't and still don't agree with numbing creams.
And desensitising, in itself, isn't the answer.
But, since beating this, 90% of the time at least (though I think that's normal, and everyone pops early from time to time), my sexual activity has gone skywards. Something that we can all agree is as good a treatment as any. Because look, as important as pelvic floor fitness is for balance, so that when you really need to stop yourself and catch t, you can. If your body doesn't anyway of course (balance = body happy, expected response etc), as important as that is, it's only a part of the puzzle. Foundations perhaps, but not an answer on its own.
The rest of the time, you need to get yourself and your body used to the sensations of higher arousal. Which is where edging and peaking and more sex come in.
Now when you're well on the way, lets call it stage 3 ... if stage 1 is killing IKs and working on kegel balance, stage 2 is self awareness via edging and peaking, this has to be stage 3 ... then, and only then, can you look at desensitisation.
In all honesty, I found that with balance, awareness and training (read: fucking) I became a bit desensitised anyway. Enough anyway. I also found that I could move energy around and take the focus off my cock which helped too. But here, with that massive intro out of the way, I'm gonna talk about physical desensitisation.
OK. Here's the thing. I have this last year been using vibrators to get myself off solo. I didn't know I could, but yep... turns out you can. And boy, what an O. It's also been part of my exploration into the idea that men can have female Os if we take their path. That's going well. But here's the thing. Since using a more punchy vibe, and deliberately going for the most sensitive spots, partly testing, partly exploration of limits, I've found that without a vibe, it's become much, MUCH harder to finish in the normal way.
Couple of things about this.
1) That result is basically the same forced DE that MDMA did to me, and I presume prescription SSRIs too.
2) I've spoken to a lot of women about this, all of this, and a lot of women say they don't like vibes because they desensitise them and with too much play, they can't get off without one. Sound familiar?
And it asks the question of what's in play, as orgasm and arousal is as much mental as physical, like plenty of people can orgasm through thought alone. But here I was yesterday, post too much vibe desensitisation, unable to finish no matter how furiously and angrily I tried.
It's not like I wasn't turned on. God, the journey of beating Pre E, I've learned to plateau at length, and often, ten minutes plus of swimming at 9+ kicks the shit out of any orgasms I used to have, and that's without even completing. So mentally, believe me, I was aroused. It all felt amazing. I was just desperate for the final boom... so I could stop! I was getting tired!
But nope. Just couldn't do it.
Now I've always been of the opinion that good training is to hit your most sensitive spots, to push yourself. Just like weightlifting or something. Use peaking to get there if you need to. It's like foreplay and pushes your PoNR away as you limber up. But what I'm saying is that the intensity of hammering your hotspots with a powerful vibe (which incidentally never blew the lid, it was just intense), that physically desensitised me to the fuck-all-night-never-cum place.... In a couple of days.
Now what I'm working on, via the journey of seeking female orgasm, is building an orgasm that comes from your head, your chest, your pelvis, your body, and maybe that'll get me to the magic place of being able to orgasm at will. And I'm wondering that now with all my training and practice, some gentle, some clean, some aggressive, some illicit, to push my PoNR away, should I have also spent that time learning how to pull it down too?
Actually, that's also an open question I might also post on the Gym. We talk here about control, about beating Pre E, about DO and MMO, but do we talk about strategies for fully controlling our arousal and PoNR to literally hold off as long as we want, and to finish on command?
It's still a journey. Five years later. But what a journey! There will be answers. And these pleasures will be yours Pre E-ers. Things you never would have learned without Pre E will become something you look back on as a gift. Trust me on that.
Member of the Month Jan 2015
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