Girlfriend is not supportive

[Floyd631 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Floyd631]

Hi guys, I was directed here by a friend so I wanted to get some perspective.
Now a little info. In the six years me and my girlfriend have been together I figured out that as long as we are having regular sex, I will last longer. So if we have sex 5 straight days, the 5th day I usually last close to 30-45 minutes.

Now, for a myriad of reasons (mostly medical) we couldn't have a lot of sex and went a little over a month without intercourse. When we got the all clear we jumped in the sack and I couldn't last. She immediately got upset and it hurt my confidence a lot. I honestly wasn't expecting her to get upset as every once in a while the sex is short, especially if we have gone a few days without sex, and I usually finish her in a number of ways.

I told her we just need to try again and get back into a routine but she was arguing that I was blaming her.

Well we tried a few more times spread out amongst a few weeks and I never improved and she never wanted me to finish her afterwards.

I know that a lot of this is a mental problem and I know that it's my problem but I can't help but want the support of my girlfriend. I've been looking at every theory or solution and the problem is, I know there's not going to be a quick solution but she doesn't want to work with me to see what works.

I mean we have talked about it and I told her that her getting mad afterwards is negatively impacting my progress but while drunk she told me that all the other guys she has been have never had this problem and she said she thought the problem was stupid and she doesn't understand it.

I've read this website from cover to cover and a lot of suggestions include working with your partner and I can't do that and I don't know how to make her see that I need her to help.

Aside from my relationship problems I want to fix the PE problem so that I don't have to worry about it in the future.

I've been doing kegels, and am trying to figure out Reverse kegels. (Help?) But I'm looking into a fleshlight or something similar to help with edging. Has anyone tried cockrings to help? I signed up for a gym and am going to start going as I see that can help a lot too.

[CUSP82 Administrator Admin of the Month Dec 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CUSP82]

Boy she sounds real nice doesn't she? I would find another one if it was me.

[MarchSalami Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close MarchSalami]

Talk to her some more. That is the only way as far as I can tell.

But it is hard, and women if they don't feel appreciated like the goddesses they are, problems will arise.

Make sure you compliment her and maybe write to her about your insecurities. It sounds like we are both fairly sensitive guys and I find I am better at expressing myself when writing.

Explain to her your difficulties and that it something you wish to overcome.

In my opinion a good sex life is crucial to a happy relationship.

And if she does not want to listen or get insulted by your thoughts then a complete reevaluation of your relationship might be required. Something that is tough and painful....

Good luck!

[closed224 Senior Member Member of the Month Dec 2014, Feb 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close closed224]

You don't need her support. It is nice to have, but is not a requirement. Start edging with your hand until your device arrives. Look in LongerLastingNoobs signature. Finish her first. Get into loving yourself, don't look for love outside yourself until you find it in yourself first. Stay strong and consistent in your efforts and you will reach your goals.

[Jackxxx Banned Find all posts View Profile Close Jackxxx]

I am sorry to say this but that is one of the fundamental problems in a relationship that lead to go separate ways. If theres no chemistry in bed, its over. Either if she doesn't like you or you wont like her, theres nothing you can do and quite honestly theres no way to fix.

If I was you I would start working on my problem by myself. You don't need to be asking or begging for support. Have your pride. Start doing your thing, cure your PE, grow your dick and find plenty of women who want to enjoy it.

If she is not here during your struggle, she doesn't deserve to be there during your success.

[Dangler Senior Administrator☼ Wizard ☼ White Tiger Award 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Dangler]

Does she bake oatmeal raisin cookies ? A coupe dozen of those and we'll sign you up for the Secret Order of Peter Pullers. You'll never regret that!

[Floyd631 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Floyd631]

I always thought that last sentence was stupid but it honestly makes a lot of sense now. I need to fix this problem for me and me only. The added benifit from that will be a healthy relationship. Thanks

[jieshao Member Find all posts View Profile Close jieshao]

Hey bud I feel ya. Believe it or not, my girlfriend has the OPPOSITE problem. She sometimes gets upset if I last too long. I've asked her why she gets upset and she says she likes me cumming quickly as it makes her feel desired and lusted over. I can understand her reasoning.

It's easy to say find another girl who appreciates you and your PE (loads of guys have PE, loads) but I;m sure you want to make this relationship work.

What you can do:

Edging
Kegels
Masturbate several times per day before sex
Buy a de-sensitizing lube / condoms
Get her off with your fingers and tongue before you penetrate her
Reduce your refractory period (look into it) so you can go again as quickly as possible
Tell her how she's making you feel. Communicate.

I think she's been really out of order getting into a huff about this. Women can cum quickly too ya know, us men never complain about that. Cumming quickly is a healthy sign the person is enjoying the other persons body and mind. Tell her that!

[longerlastingnoob Senior Member Member of the Month Jan 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close longerlastingnoob]

Stop doing Kegels and focus on edging and getting to know how your body reacts, then determine the state of your pelvic floor before starting a routine.

[Tamora Retired Super Moderator Member of the Month Aug 2015 PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Tamora]

She does come across as being pretty self-centered to be honest mate. Let's hope that's not the tip of the iceberg!

[mikecares Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close mikecares]

You need to practice reverse kegals more. Don't do a lot of kegals

First, learn to breath through your stomach. When you master that, breath in for a 2-3 count, then do a peeing motion (but don't strain yourself) and hold that for a few seconds and breath slowly out. Repeat this for reps or just hold it for a few seconds every time. Do it through the day and practice it consistently. Then progress it into sex. As far as your gf, how old are you guys? She sounds immature. My current girlfriend is 19 and stuck it out with my ED problems (still have) and is 100% supportive. If she is getting mad and arguing with you about it, she is likely going to stray and cheat. I'm not trying to scare you but when girls act like this, its telltale signs that there looking for something else. For now, practice the RKs and edging stuff. If its REALLY bothering you, there are some medications you can use in the short-term for pre-e. Also, you can try some cialis, masturbate 1-2 times a day before sex and then have sex with her to maintain erection quality. This a short-term thing and can actually be extended quite a long time.

But just to let you know, if a girl is truely physically and emotionally attracted to you, she will go through a lot of shit with you and stick with you. this girl does not sound like that. My current girlfriend has stuck and still sticks with me through my ED issues and is very supportive. I know sex is important in a relationship, but she seems to be very short in the understanding department. I would honestly consider ending it because she doesn't seem like she'll not support you if it gets slightly worse and isn't even improving quickly.

[TheGreatDivider Senior Member Member of the Month Dec 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close TheGreatDivider]

If she's this supportive as your girlfriend, I imagine how she would be as your wife or a mother to your kids. Geesh!

[Sequoia Tree Senior Member Member of the Month July 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Sequoia Tree]

Based on what you've said, your girlfriend sounds like a garbage partner. Refusing to cooperate and be patient and understanding with you, putting you down, and negatively comparing you to other guys are all huge red flags. You could do a lot better. If I were in your shoes, I'd dump her right away. That attitude of hers would prevent my dick from getting hard.

[MrsLooking4more Retired Super Moderator Member of the Month Feb 2013PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close MrsLooking4more]

Is this a serious relationship? What happened to the idea of for better or worse. My husband and I lived with ED and Pre E for years and we worked at it together. Yes there are times it becomes frustrating on both sides but working together can bring you closer. I even helped my husband with his routine and it became part of our foreplay.

could it be possible she is feeling blamed? Or feels like she is not sexy enough to make it happen? Realize she might have her own insecurities but regardless off that, she should be open to working things out as a couple, IF this is a serious relationship.

If is not then do your routine in stealth mode and get healthy for yourself. Good Luck!

[Floyd631 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Floyd631]

Is this a serious relationship? What happened to the idea of for better or worse. My husband and I lived with ED and Pre E for years and we worked at it together. Yes there are times it becomes frustrating on both sides but working together can bring you closer. I even helped my husband with his routine and it became part of our foreplay.

could it be possible she is feeling blamed? Or feels like she is not sexy enough to make it happen? Realize she might have her own insecurities but regardless off that, she should be open to working things out as a couple, IF this is a serious relationship.

If is not then do your routine in stealth mode and get healthy for yourself. Good Luck!

Yea we both definitely have gained a bit of weight so I know doesn't feel great about herself but she has been going to the gym.
In addition, she feels like I blame her but I'm just really telling her what isn't helping. This is my problem but she doesn't understand why she could be affecting it or how she can help.