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- 03-18-2016 #21
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I was told to think of the whole process as sensual rather than just what you're gonna do with your penis. Embrace the feelings you're getting rather than worry about it all. Learning to enjoy the feelings has really started helping me rather than worry that when I started to get some feelings and arousal I'm just gonna cum.
I've found saying dirty things really really helps with my EQ and arousal for sessions as well. I think when you're practicing you can get to many things to think about ... visualisation to keep erect, is my pelvic floor relaxed, am I breathing, can I RK! Then you get so tied up in all that you loose it. Talking dirty is dead easy to do and doesn't take too much focus to do.
- 03-18-2016 #22
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Thanks Goat and Paul.
I do think you are right, it's just that many success stories here on PEGym mention the DeathGrip as a cause of there cure, and many mentions that delayed ejaculation was caused by DeathGrip.
Maybe I should just use a tighter grip and with lube which simulates more real sex, and then take my time to slowly build up my arousal.
I am kinda frustrated at the time of writing, here is an update of my edging session with my woman:
This was my first edging session with my woman. In order for her not to lying forever waiting on me being very focused, we did set a timeframe of 20 minutes. Then we knew when the clock rings I have 2 tries left (just in case I am on to something).
I was a bit disappointed with my performance. After the nice edging sessions I have had alone, I was really confidence, but in this real situation I had much less control. In the very last 2 minutes, I manage to hold continues thrusting of 40seconds, that was not much. But I hope I will improve soon. I did not ejaculate.
I totally lost track of PONRs since I had so many. So I will measure my success in the maximum time of continues thrusting in a 20 minutes period from now on.
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However in a positive light, I did have more focus and feeling of what was going on down there. I noticed that the stimulation was actually much lighter on the penis head than in my edging, however I felt a strong pressure against my lower mid shaft. Like she were jelqing my penis with her tight pussy. I will focus a bit on that, and then also on enjoying it more and stay on the arousal level without cumming in my private (alone) edging sessions.
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Goat and Paul if you have a progress log, then please post a link here. I think it would be great to follow people in the same situation as me.
- 03-18-2016 #23
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I rarely comment on the mental part of pre e since the physical side is where I can help .
I will say however that there is an element of anxiety in pre e
- 03-19-2016 #24
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Pegasus, you're right I do strongly believe that anxiety is a big element in pre e, in some cases.
However in my own case I do not believe that it plays the biggest role at least. I have been in a really nice and caring relationship for 10 years and I look forward to have sex every time and in the bed when we have 'normal' sex I do not care as much about not cumming while we are doing it, I just stop moving for a short while by still being inside her and giving her some stimulation on the clitoris with my fingers.
What I miss the most is that after she has finished and when it is my own pleasure, I seem to have trained myself through the 10 years to just get off as fast as possible. It is my own fault, but my girlfriend has in fact this last night told me, that I should not be sorry and that we are gonna work on it together.
She remembered that for around 7-8 years ago she began to hurry on me during blowjobs, and while we were having sex and she have had her first orgasm she admitted that she just wanted me to cum as quick as possible. The past 3 months we are enjoying sex a lot more and now I just want to be able to really have the control, not necessarily fucking like a pornstar, but just be able to continues thrusting for like 3 minutes in a medium/fast tempo, then stop and use my fingers, use my tongue etc. I just like to be a little more dynamic.
I have always been a fast shooter, and suddenly remember bad masturbation habits. I remember me sitting in the bathtub jerking it of insanely to cum as fast as possible while my brother was asking me to open the door to go on the toilet. So I need to train my mind to not strive for that fast orgasm anymore.Last edited by JanTantra; 03-19-2016 at 05:48 AM.
- 03-19-2016 #25
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As I felt some progress in my edging session today, I will give a little more history of what lead me to my current DeathGrip routine.
History
I started practice using the STU-fleshlight for 2 months ago, I found it really hard to do continues thrusting at that time, or at least I had to warm up for like 30minutes before I could do it maybe 3 minutes without breaks. I practiced with it for 1 month, but only saw very small progress which I couldn't really transfer to real sex, so I started looking in other directions. I notices JamesMonroe talking about the DeathGrip and I experimented with it for 2 weeks with dry DeathGrip the first 15minutes and then fleshlight afterwards, the first day I saw improvements and could thrust much longer without breaks in the fleshlight. That is why I went to use only dry DeathGrip for 30 minutes the past 2 weeks.
Todays edging session
Today right after writing the previous post I tried the STU fleshlight again, but without first starting with the dry DeathGrip. And it was amazing.
TIP: I placed the fleshlight in a folded yoga mat, such that I could thrust instead of using my hand.
Attachment 83248
First i did it standing holding the yoga mat against the wall. I felt like I could continue forever in this position. I thrusted without any breaks for 7 minutes. Then in bed I used DeathGrip a bit in doggy style position for 5 minutes (Don't now why I did that actually) and lastly I got back to the fleshlight, in the bed I hold the yoga mat against the bed headboard / wall while I thrust in doggy style position. I didn't notice the clock was running, I was just happy. I continued this for 24minutes but had small breaks within, we are talking about really small breaks here maybe 10 seconds for every every 4-5 minutes. I ended up placing the yoga mat flat down on the bed and thrusting like it was normal missionary position, i did this for 3 minutes and then ejaculated. Actually I was not going to ejaculate, but it was a mistake. However I noticed really how relaxed I was when I came and the IKs was not that explosive.
Great session!!
However I must mention the two things which may or may not influence on this also:
- Yesterday I ejaculated, before that I had not ejaculated for 2 weeks, so that might explain why I was more relaxed this time.
- Also the friction / suction effect felt much stronger in the STU than in real sex. I am wondering if the suction effect causes my foreskin to stay more still and hence my to only move my penis head within my own foreskin most of the time. I will experiment with that, I think I will buy a 'looser' fleshlight to test that out, or even better see if I can find a cock ring that keeps my foreskin retracted all the time during edging.
I think I will adjust my routine a bit and use lube more often, to not forget that feeling. And also I am buying the "Stoya Destroya" or "Obsession Bliss" since they seems most intense. I hope if I can get used to manage that sensation then I should be able to manage it with my girlfriend also.
My plan is not to use the fleshlight only, I will still try to vary between dry DeathGrip, lubed DeathGrip and fleshlight with lube.
Can't wait to test with my woman tonight!
- 03-19-2016 #26
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Hey man - here is my progress log. Sounds like very similar kind of situations.
I've also got a STU device, not used it in a week or two. I'm going to start introducing it I think after day 14 and like you, mix it about. So somedays STU, some hand, different positions etc... so as not to fall into a pattern.
- 03-24-2016 #27
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Hi.
Here is a little update
The past 4 days I have not been edging due to easter break and some other activities that made it a bit cumbersome. However I have had a lot of sex with my girlfriend. What I noticed was that I have much more control in the morning, which again strengthen the theory of tight pelvic floor building up through the day. One of the mornings I did put on a tight vibrating cock ring, which seems to numb me a bit. That was great because my woman could ride on me a bit more than usual. However when it was my turn to cum, I still only thrusted in doggy for 30 seconds before I reached PONR.
Having the feeling of my girlfriend's nice pussy fresh in my mind, I skipped the DeathGrip today, The idea was to experiment and find the best way that simulate the exact same feeling.
1. I tried the fleshlight STU with lube, however as I have described earlier it seems that I can thrust in this forever.
2. I tried adding a not so tight cock ring, just to keep my foreskin retracted. It seemed not to help that much, maybe it was too loose, hence I could still thrust without hitting PONR.
3. I then tried another cock ring which was a bit bigger. I placed my penis and my balls in it and it felt tighter and my penis became big the same way like when I am aroused in real sex. I noticed that it was harder for me to stay away from PONR. However at the same time I was also feeling that I maybe took to much focus away from the IKs which was hard to feel due to the tight grip of the ring.
Conclusion
I did not find something that really simulates my girlfriends pussy and think I will skip the cock rings. However I also noticed that the spot just above the pee whole was the most sensitive to me when I reach PONR, so I will start rubbing that and will focus on it with Dry DeathGrip and Lubed DeathGrip.
I still plan on buying a more intense fleshlight, but also one which has more real life feelings, since I feel that PONR comes faster using very wet sensitive grip. And the reason for that I think is because that is the way I have been masturbated my whole life. Either you have two choices, using the same light grip and get used to that, or get yourself used to the more intense grip in order to reach PONR. I think I will go for the last, since I would like to fuck more hardcore in real sex.
EDIT
After reading my post again, I have come to the conclusion. I will order both "Stoya Destroya" and "Obsession Bliss" because the whole internet seems to scream about their intensity. I remembered the old "Train hard - Fight easy" motto. Why should that not count for sex. I mean doing 10 push ups with 50kg on the back makes it alot easier to take 10 without any weights.Looking forward to the new fleshlights arives.
I am especially looking forward to Obsession Bliss which looks like it will gives a lot of stimulation on the head, but also Stoya I like the randomness in this pattern while thrusting.
I will let you know on my first try with themLast edited by JanTantra; 03-24-2016 at 06:16 AM.
- 03-25-2016 #28
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Back to the DeathGrip, yeehaw!!
After a bit experimentation, which lead to ordering "Stoya Destroya" and "Obsession Bliss" fleshlights, I am back to the DeathGrip.
Today I had a session of 35 minutes, I wanted it to be longer, but my girlfriend was on her way home, so I just stopped. I did not ejaculate. I love the feeling of a used dick after such a session.
I did it dry and to begin with I retracted my foreskin and hold it back while stroking and rubbing the head and shaft with the other hand (the grip was tight, but not so tight that I couldn't stroke without moving the skin back and forth, i.e. I was rubbing the whole part head and shaft.) I did this for 7 minutes.
Then I went on to a tighter grip which then became more jelqing like feeling of the shaft alone for another 7 minutes. (I did this because of my earlier described experiences where I felt my girlfriend's tight pussy was jelqing me.)
In the above two I had much control and could easily continue. I use them to desensitize me a bit.
I then tried short and fast strokes just below the head. It was very intense and I felt PONR in 30 seconds, much like the feeling I have in real sex when I feel that I am loosing control, and that my pelvic floor begins to tense up without being able to do anything about it. It has been 3-4 months since I have been looking porn, since I have stopped, however I remembered that this grip was used a lot when the male pornstar needed to cum in the end.
I just googled some gifs, and indeed this grip is used by all of them:
<pornographic link removed>
As an example: <pornographic link removed>
From now on I will focus on this intense grip in the end of every session. If I can control that and keep my arousal low with that grip I believe I can do it in real sex also. And now I think of it, THIS must be the 'real' DeathGrip, when guys are getting used to that in the beginning of masturbation in the teenage years they end up with a great stamina.
I spend 20 minutes with this intense grip and the number of PONR and duration of each continues stroking was much the same as when I practice edging with my girlfriend in doggy style. I believe this might be a way to compare the intense feeling of stimulation. I will practice to increase the duration with this grip and see if the effect will reflect in real sex also.
I am much confidence that this will work!Last edited by Ultimate Burrito; 09-27-2020 at 04:45 PM. Reason: Links to pornographic images removed by mod
- 03-25-2016 #29
Great work!So if I understand you correctly, you are doing 7 minutes with rubbing the shaft and head simultaneously?Are you uncut?Becase I am and I feel pain, because of the frenulum, when I try this, but maybe I should de-position my hand in order to be pain free.After that you are doing 7 minutes with DG only the shaft?And then you try to finish with 20 minutes of the described grip?Sounds like a freaking good routine, I`ll try it today!
p.s. You must use less hot gifs, shit like this brought me to this situation
- 03-25-2016 #30
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I am also uncut.
Yes I do 7 minutes where I hold my skin back with one hand and then with the other hand I am stroking / rubbing on the entire head and down on the shaft just below the head (My foreskin does not move here, it is held tightly back as much as possible).
The other 7 minutes is really tight DG on the shaft only. This way I can hold the tightest grip and use my foreskin to stroke up and down. I often does this below the duvet, such that the duvet kinda stimulates the head when I am lying down under it with my penis straight up in the air. Sometimes I change a bit, such that on the stroke down i loosen the grip shortly and the on the upwards movement, i.e. away form the body, I tighten again such that it becomes kinda jelqing, I noticed some IKs here, which I like to get rid of.
The last 20 minutes I am trying to perform the really intense tight grip fast (shown in GIFs) and still be in control. At the moment I need to stop and do reverse kegel every 30 seconds or so, but I will work my way up to longer duration and try to slow down the pace instead of completely stopping. As mentioned I felt the PONRs coming near the same way as with my girlfriend, so I hope it can be transferred directly to real sex if I can control this.
With regards to your pains, I do not know how sensitive you are. But in my own case I feel that when I am a bit moist on the penis head after a whole day of the glans being covered in the foreskin it is harder to rub because of the friction. I dry the head in the duvet. Also if my hands are to sweaty I dry them to, such that I can have the dry against dry friction.
I have begin to wear a glans ring the whole day and I even sleep with it, to keep my glans dry and get used to the sensitivity. My glans ring is one similar to this, I have both the night and day edition, but they are actually the same just different color, so I believe you can settle with one, unless you want to wear them both at the same time which I sometimes do:
<Outside link removed by mod>Last edited by Ultimate Burrito; 09-27-2020 at 04:46 PM. Reason: Removed link to monetized site
Try every other day or maybe...
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