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  • Please Help Me Cure Severe PE

    Hi all,

    First time poster - great community here and I'm really hoping I can get some help and in time, be able to help others who find themselves in this unfortunate situation.

    Basically long story short, my severe PE has been caused by my terrible masturbation habits over 15 years. I masturbate with a VERY light grip (always while watching porn) and I now ejaculate within 5 - 10 seconds flat... Every single time without fail.

    The last time I was in a relationship and getting regular sex was over 10 years ago. I suffered from PE then but it I would last 3 - 5 minutes... Not 3 - 5 seconds like now! Lasting 5 minutes now would be a dream..

    Basically I'm so nervous, anxious and frustrated with myself that this pain is self inflicted that I have withdrawn and banned myself from relationships. I refuse to allow an innocent girl to suffer because of my foolish and selfish actions.

    Psychologically this is eating me alive... I stay up all night thinking about how I may have ruined any chance of a happy relationship with my own hands!

    The million dollar question on my mind now though, is can I reverse the damage I have caused over these years? Or is it too late?

    And if the answer to the above question is yes (God I really hope so).... Can anyone please suggest a good routine to follow.

    Please bear in mind I'm a total beginner and have never looked into resolving this before thinking there was nothing I could do about it.

    My last hope is placed on this forum... I can honestly say I sometimes feel suicidal when I over think this issue... But, what women could ever be satisfied by a guy who lasts 5 seconds all the time.... The answer of course... Is none!

    I really look forward to hearing some of your replies and suggestions and I pray we can all find a solution to this curse.

    Thanks for reading.

  • #2
    Before we proceed, if you're feeling suicidal you'll need to seek attention outside of this forum! Premature ejaculation, which is something that can usually be treated (especially if porn use is ceased) should never be used as an excuse to end one's life!

    Please read through the following to see how to further understand about porn use, masturbation and its effects- as well as what you can do to counter them:
    www.pegym.com/articles/detraining-effect-understanding-reversing-negative-habits-improve-erection-quality-sexual-confidence-part-1

    For premature ejaculation specifically, I'd recommend an extender version of the Stop and Start exercise (outlined in pg. 3 of the article above). Instead of the regular 3 "stops" before ejaculating, you'll be anywhere between 5-10 stops. Once you can get to 10-15 minutes total, you can start decreasing the number of stops back towards the recommended 3.

    Starting with a light grip is good, but you should attempt to normalize the pressure as time goes by and your stamina increases.
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    • #3
      Thanks for your reply Big Al - I really appreciate it.

      Of course I should clarify that I was exaggerating when talking about suicide (I'll never do that) but I just wanted to get across just how much this problem is affecting me.

      If you will be kind enough to answer this one question please... Do you think it's possible for me to "retrain" my body to last longer just like I conditioned it to ejaculate so quickly in the first place?

      And if the answer is yes... Roughly what length of time am I looking at to achieve that considering it took me about 15 years to get where I am today.

      It's difficult for me to ever imagine being with a girl and not climaxing immediately... I fear there will also be a psychological aspect to deal with here as well.

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      • #4
        Have you read the sticys?

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        • #5
          Hey Pegasus,

          Yes I have read them over and over but frankly they left me confused as to what exactly I should be doing... That's when I decided to post a new topic hoping for some help.

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          • #6
            There is a variety of methodology , your first issue is anxiety.

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            • #7
              I agree I do suffer with anxiety... But not when I'm masturbating. My anxiety is born out of my fear of being with an actual partner. So don't think anxiety plays any role in my premature ejaculation.

              From the vast experience you guys have... What would you recommend I do now? As in specifically what routine?

              Bearing in mind I've decided to do a full "reboot" so no porn (hopefully ever again) and no masturbation.

              Should I learn to do kegels/RK and how may they help me gain some form of control?

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              • #8
                But, what women could ever be satisfied by a guy who lasts 5 seconds all the time.... The answer of course... Is none!
                First off, there are many who are in relationships where neither has a penis (lesbians) and they have full and satisfying sex, so your anxiety and mindset are askew at the moment. And, YES, anxiety is one of your biggest obstacles right now. You basically work yourself up so much that you almost guarantee your failure. You have no control over your excitement, no control over your reaction to stimuli and as a result, your penis does what it is designed to do - deliver a package to sustain life and perpetuate your gene line.

                Read up on stamina training and more specifically edging. Masturbating serves one purpose, ejaculation and relief, it does nothing to train you to recognize stimuli and how you react to it. Edging - the pushing of the point of no return (PONR) without ejaculating helps to train you for stamina. Add to that deep breathing to help you relax and stay focused during your training. You will slip a few times, but that is part of the learning curve. Take a moment to read this excellent success story by one of our current members. It will give you some inspiration to move forward and give it a try.
                https://www.pegym.com/forums/prematu...-real-sex.html

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                • #9
                  Thanks ZZman.... Appreciate your input.

                  Inspirational story indeed... I only wish I can achieve something like that in the future...

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                  • #10
                    Secondman, stick around, we will turn you into minute-man, and then hour-man. I share not only from others experience, but from my own feeble flubbing of a past where most of us start of as Pre-E sufferers who need to find a way. I did not have the luxury of the internet and forums like this, so trial and error was the way I learned. It also helps to seek out and source your partner as one who is kind and patient, one that will understand and work with you. So find a girl who is into you, not into just jumping into the sack. Leading into anxious situations with a partner you know is much less taxing than one who you just met.

                    While belated, a big welcome to the forums, we are glad you took the time to join. You will find your stay here enjoyable and community very hospitable to questions you may have. Seek out companionship where needed, consider starting a program to enhance your unit, read the information in the "Start Here" button at the top of the page and start your own progress log, so you can look back on this beginning once you have conquered this plague and laugh at the beginning of a journey that will bring you to new heights in short order. My friend, the fun has just begun. Hunker down for the long haul, you can fix this with a positive attitude and some dedicated practice.

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                    • #11
                      Hi Secondman.

                      Welcome to the forum, this is the first step to cure the damn PE.

                      I have PE my self, not that severe I think, but the essense of PE is lack of that damn control, so I feel with you.

                      However I started out here on PE gym for around two months ago and I begin to feel much much better control. I am still not the "ejaculation by command man" and it might be a long way to there, but the important thing is that I do see progress and can see my self being there in time. Now when I have sex with my girlfriend, I am already much more aware and relaxed, I feel it becomes better for everytime.

                      When I joined this site I find the hardest part was to find compose a routine, I read a lot of progress logs to see what actually worked for others like me. I now use the routine described in my progress log, take a look and see if it is something for you.

                      https://www.pegym.com/forums/prematu...-progress.html

                      Good luck my friend!

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                      • #12
                        Thank you ZZman and JanTantra... Your kind words are very motivating..

                        I guess a thousand mile journey starts with one step... So here goes!

                        For now I'm going to quit all porn and ejaculation for a few weeks while simultaneously starting a kegel/RK routine in an attempt to start balancing out my pelvic floor.

                        Anything else I should be looking to do right away?

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                        • #13
                          I have done so many regular kegels, to the point where I could stop ejaculation by tightening them.

                          However I feel it made my pelvicflor much tighter and caused many invulantory kegels while having sex, which pushed me towards PONR. Also I found it much harder to do while having sex than edging. It caused me to thrust 15seconds then stop and kegel then thrust a little more. And finally when I was conditioned enough I could go for longer intervals, but the sex was so mechanical and I didn't feel the power and control that I would love to have during sex.

                          As a result I stopped with regular kegels and only performed reverse kegel which is recommended especially by an old user JamesMonroe and it seems to work for me..

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                          • #14
                            That's interesting JanTantra..

                            I was under the impression that we're looking for a balanced pelvic floor. Won't I causing further imbalance by only doing a RK routine?

                            At this moment in time I'm just very confused and still not sure what exactly I should start doing.

                            The overwhelming feeling I have now is anger with myself as I have brought this curse upon myself... I wish I could have known the bleak future I was painting for myself with my terrible habits.

                            Trying to think about this positively... Does anyone believe that this could be some sort of blessing in disguise.. As in PE sufferers may go to lengths that normal guys don't even know exist and we can actually end up learning how to last far, far longer than your average man?

                            I'm certainly hoping so...

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Secondman View Post
                              I was under the impression that we're looking for a balanced pelvic floor. Won't I causing further imbalance by only doing a RK routine?
                              My personal experience is that I already had a really strong Kegel muscle, hence it was very easy for me to learn kegels. Regular kegels is not all bad, it gave me a better sense of my pelvic floor such that it maybe was easier for me to learn reverse kegels, however because regular kegels was so easy it was also easy to skip the discipline and forget the reverse kegels.

                              Many here on PEgym talks about that PEs have a tight pelvic floor and a strong kegel causing IKs, that is why I and others recommend a reverse kegel routine only to begin with, then with time when you know how to proper relax the pelvic floor you could begin with regular kegels again. Personally I want be doing regular kegels again before I have complete control on when I want to ejaculate.

                              Originally posted by Secondman View Post
                              Trying to think about this positively... Does anyone believe that this could be some sort of blessing in disguise.. As in PE sufferers may go to lengths that normal guys don't even know exist and we can actually end up learning how to last far, far longer than your average man?
                              I would not call it a blessing in disguise, since I would ratter be completely without it, but I see you point that being aware of your sex life and that you can improve it, will anyone benefit from. When I talk to my friends it seems that I have way more sex than them, I personally think it is because my girlfriend really enjoys having sex with me, it is not only about me ejaculating but much more about her getting her orgasm, that being with licking, kissing, fingering etc. Where my friends girlfriends complains about 7 minutes until they gets off and then forgets all about them. See the point? If we PEs whom have been forced to pleasure a woman with other methods than the penis only can learn to control the ejaculation also, then we have the whole 'package'.

                              That being said, if a person without PE wants to improve in bed, then yes he might have an advantage to begin with, but I think everything can be trained, so when both can control ejaculation it is more about being sensitive and loving to the woman you are enjoying sex with.

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