Ayjaye's Road!

[Ayjaye Member Find all posts View Profile Close Ayjaye]

Hi Guys,

Figured I would start a progress log to help keep myself accountable and also as a means to track progress and keep myself driven to see this thing through!

So I have just finished my first 5 days of the JP90 routine, I am following the routine exactly as listed with the addition of a 15 minute edge session following the jelqs and prior to the warm down as I am looking to fix my PE as well as grow my member.

19/02/17 - First routine, did the v-jelqs totally wrong (used my index and middle finger and jelqed downward), finally found some links on here that showed how to do them properly. Following the JP90 routine, I cracked out the Fleshlight for the first time to work on my edging, lasted about a minute before I reached the PONR and spent the next 15 minutes doing stop / start's. I tell you what, when I released at the end it was a next level orgasm for me, not experienced anything like it previously...

20/02/17 - Continued to get used to doing slow and steady jelq's, was definately going too fast per rep and was making a conscious effort to slow them down. I also find I have issues maintaining a 50%-70% erect state and frequently need to stop and get the member back into action. Lasted 1 min 30 in the Fleshlight, improvement!

21/02/17 - Getting more comfortable with the routine now, didnt need to refer to JP90's post. I am finding that my total session times are getting slightly longer each time as I focus on slowing down the jelqs, total routine is around an hour.

22/02/17 - Definately starting to notice some changes downstairs, veins starting to protrude out, no pain and all PI's seem to be good. Finished the routine again and actually starting to enjoy it, thou that could be the fact that I find edging at the end with the fleshlight rather enjoyable. up to 2 minutes in the fleshlight now before hitting PONR, really working on relaxing downstairs and focusing on breathing and using other techniques learned on the forums like thinking of other things and just trying to keep everything relaxed. I still need to learn how to RK properly, but towards the end of the edging session I was getting some nice long stints in before hitting the PONR.

23/04/17 - Still no negative PI's, went ahead with the routine and feeling really good about it! Just to clarify, my current routine is 5-10 mins warmup (its summer here and HOT anyway), stretches as per JP90, 50 wet jelq's, 25 vjelqs, 50 wet jelqs, 25 vjelqs, 50 wet jelqs, 25 vjelqs and then 15 mins edging and 5 mins warm down, usually takes a little over an hour. Had a breakthrough today, lasted 4 minutes in the fleshlight before PONR, really feeling good about gaining more control over my ejaculation and this thing still gives me crazy good orgasms!

So thats it for now, got my 2 days break and hoping to get some alone time with the wife this weekend to see if the work in the fleshlight is helping!

If you guys think I should modify anything, feel free to suggest, but so far seems to be going ok.

[SmallEddie Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close SmallEddie]

You have about the same starting measurements and goals as me . Lets do this!

[Ayjaye Member Find all posts View Profile Close Ayjaye]

We got this! i'm in this for the long haul, already feeling better in general without any gains measured.

[Ayjaye Member Find all posts View Profile Close Ayjaye]

Quick update, had my 2 rest days and managed to have a quality session with the wife, noticeable improvement in how long I lasted (it may have helped that we were drunk), but definitely felt alot more confident in myself!

26/02/17 - Had alot of issues with my routine tonight, really struggled to maintain an erection around 50-70%, needed to stop numerous times and get myself going again and ended the session not feeling happy at all - going to wipe this one and reset for today!

[Ayjaye Member Find all posts View Profile Close Ayjaye]

27/02/17 - Much better session this time, didnt have to stop so frequently to keep my erection level where it needed to be. I still feel I am getting better at jelqing and improving upon the way in which I am doing it. Decided to have an edging session following my routine without the fl this time and without ejaculation, I can definitely control myself alot better with my hand than the fl.

[Ayjaye Member Find all posts View Profile Close Ayjaye]

28/02/17 - Awesome session today!

10 min warmup
13 mins stretches
26 mins jelqing (150 jelqs, 75 vjelqs)
22 mins edging

I am definitely noticing an improvement in my flaccid length and girth, thou it often varies as is always the case with a flaccid dong, but i definitively 'feels' bigger. The biggest thing for me right now is I am now 2 weeks without porn and for the first time in I dont even know how long I had an erotic dream about my wife and woke up this morning with a raging hard morning wood, feels good.

[Bukowski Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Bukowski]

Hello Ayjaye, I'm also a newbie (I've been going just a couple of weeks longer than you), and we also have similar starting measurements and goals!

I'm glad to hear things are going well for you. Increased vascularity (protruding veins) and better ejaculation control are both positive PI's, so keep it up.

Don't worry too much about your disappointing session on Sunday. Everybody has bad days where their session doesn't feel as 'good' as others, due to e.g. struggling to maintain an erection. As long as this doesn't carry across multiple sessions (which it looks like it hasn't according to your two most recent posts), don't let this bother you. I don't think this is a sign of negative PI's, just a bad day!

Keep it up, and I look forward to following your progress log over the coming months.

[Ayjaye Member Find all posts View Profile Close Ayjaye]

01/03/17 - Think I have my first negative PI, I switched up and gave Cocoa butter a go instead of water based lubricant for jelqing and now have what seems like a pimple at the base of my shaft, its red and has a white head, so pretty sure its a pimple or similar, its very sore to touch - so looks like it will be a few days rest for me. I will go back to the water based lubricant, it may not have been due to the cocoa butter, but lets see. Hopefully only takes a day or two to settle so I can get back into it.

[Ayjaye Member Find all posts View Profile Close Ayjaye]

04/03/17 - So the pimple has settled down enough, it ended up fitting in not that bad with my rest days, I ended up only doing 4 days and had 2 rest days on the 2nd & 3rd and got back into it today, which was good for me as I am very much a routine man and so far I have a pretty good routine going.

Did my typical session today, 10 mins warmup with rice sock, 15 mins stretches (left, right, out, up with helicopter shakes and 10 left and right circles between each directional stretch), 3 X 50 jelqs and 3 X 30 v-jelqs. I tried going for a lighter grip this time round also, see if that helps avoid any negative PI's.

On another note - my libido is back in full force now, 3 weeks without porn and man it feels so good... Not only has dropping porn helped bring up my libido, but my wife has noticed and we have been have more sex than ever over the last week, I feel 18 again!

Loving PE!

[Ayjaye Member Find all posts View Profile Close Ayjaye]

Day 19 - Switching to day # instead of date, given its a 90 day thing it is likely going to be easier to track this way, im thinking I will measure again on day 30, 60 & 90.

Things are still going well, have really cemented down a routine now and just gotta keep it up. If nothing else comes of this whole thing, getting away from porn and getting my libido back is enough to keep me happy about my choices to start this whole thing.

So for day 19, the wife and I were rather frisky in the morning, we were sorting through the wardrobe when she asked me to clean our toys, that then lead to me passing her the wireless bullet and telling her to slip it in her pants so I could control her whilst we were sorting through our stuff, she ended up going weak and the knees pretty quickly and came! happy days

She then decided it was time to return the favor and wanted to watch me use the fleshlight, managed to coax here into using it with me and I couldnt believe how long I lasted with her and I both using it together, typically when I have been doing my edging alone I struggle to last 3-4 minutes before the first PONR, but with my wife, I was able to last 10 minutes or so before hitting the first PONR, it was weird, I was in a totally different headspace with her doing it - it felt amazing, but I was engrossed in her enjoyment at watching me use it that it kept me distracted enough to be able to just keep going, was also fun teaching her what felt best and the best ways to use it. So I would consider this a very successful edging session, I ended up letting go after about 15 minutes and forgot to tell her that the cap was pretty lose on the end, and as others with a fleshlight can attest, if not held downards cum spills out, so cum ended up going all over her legs

Later in the evening I did my usual JP90 routine minus the edging. Day 19 was a good day!

[Ayjaye Member Find all posts View Profile Close Ayjaye]

Day 20 - into day 3 of my 5 on 2 off cycle and PI's still remain good, not been getting morning wood of late, but I have never really been one to get it often anyway... Hoping this will happen more often in the future. My libido still remains sky high, I literally cant stop thinking about sex and find myself fantasizing alot throughout the day!

Did my typical routine again today, been using a rice sock for warmups now for the last 4 sessions and it is much easier than continually needing to re-heat a wash cloth, only issue is I do my routine at 10pm at night when the house is asleep and the microwave is bloody loud.

Today's session:

10 min warmup with rice sock
12 min stretches (left, right, out, up with 10 left and right circle stretches and helicopter shakes between each directional stretch)
20 min jelqing - probably the best jelqing session to date, maintained 50-70% erection level alot easier than normal, only need to get it going again a few times
15 min edging - didnt use the fl today, reverted to the good ol' hand and stopped after 15 mins and didnt ejaculate, going to try to do this from here on and only ejaculate every 3 days or so.

[Ayjaye Member Find all posts View Profile Close Ayjaye]

Day 21 - So I ended up having an unexpected rest day, was starting to feel a little lethagic downstairs, I guess that is to be expected but wanted to rest up to be sure, there was also the potential of having sex with the wife and didnt want to miss that opportunity and decided to have a rest day, the end result was that I didnt have sex with the wife and didnt do PE. Ah well.

Day 22 - Today was the toughest day thus far, I was working from home and the wife was home also, she came into the study where I was working in a gorgeous gown and lead me to the bedroom and this is where things went bad for me, for some reason I became extremely anxious and was overthinking about performing, didnt relax and couldnt get erect, something which has started happening to me more and more of late, since I have acknowledged in my mind I have PE and also discussed it at length with the Wife, I am finding I am suffering alot of anxiety issues and really struggling to relax myself and just get in the moment, prior to this I always kind of knew I had PE, but I didnt let it get to me and just got in the moment and enjoyed it...

My mind is continually thinking about getting a rock hard erection and lasting a long time and it is having a massive impact on my arousal and just relaxing and enjoying being in the moment, thankfully my wife is amazing and supportive and eventually helped to get me relaxed and gave me an amazing headjob, but as soon as she climbed on I basically came straight away and felt terrible.... Once again, she was great and said its fine and then we proceeded to grab a toy out and I helped her get off, but it still messed with my mind and still is.

I find myself in a position now where I know I am working on resolving my PE and also working on a bigger dick, but I am in this mental battle with myself and am now having performance anxiety.

Going to really work on relaxation techniques and am considering maybe getting some help, im not sure if this is a side effect of going porn free for 22 days? or if its just part of the process of working through my PE challenges.

Trying to maintain a positive mindset!

[Bukowski Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Bukowski]

Day 22 - Today was the toughest day thus far, I was working from home and the wife was home also, she came into the study where I was working in a gorgeous gown and lead me to the bedroom and this is where things went bad for me, for some reason I became extremely anxious and was overthinking about performing, didnt relax and couldnt get erect, something which has started happening to me more and more of late, since I have acknowledged in my mind I have PE and also discussed it at length with the Wife, I am finding I am suffering alot of anxiety issues and really struggling to relax myself and just get in the moment, prior to this I always kind of knew I had PE, but I didnt let it get to me and just got in the moment and enjoyed it...

My mind is continually thinking about getting a rock hard erection and lasting a long time and it is having a massive impact on my arousal and just relaxing and enjoying being in the moment, thankfully my wife is amazing and supportive and eventually helped to get me relaxed and gave me an amazing headjob, but as soon as she climbed on I basically came straight away and felt terrible.... Once again, she was great and said its fine and then we proceeded to grab a toy out and I helped her get off, but it still messed with my mind and still is.

I find myself in a position now where I know I am working on resolving my PE and also working on a bigger dick, but I am in this mental battle with myself and am now having performance anxiety.

Going to really work on relaxation techniques and am considering maybe getting some help, im not sure if this is a side effect of going porn free for 22 days? or if its just part of the process of working through my PE challenges.

Trying to maintain a positive mindset!

Hey Ayjaye, sorry to hear about your PE induced performance anxiety. It sounds like you have a great partner who is trying to support you through this, and with time I'm sure this will all be a distant memory, especially given you're practicing edging alongside your enlargement routine.

It could definitely be partly down to going porn free, especially if you were prior to your abstinence heavily reliant on porn to get an erection.

May I suggest you consider looking into meditation? I've been practicing mindfulness meditation for around a month now to help with non-PE related anxiety issues. Whilst this won't directly have an effect on your sexual performance, I've personally found the more consistent you are with keeping up meditation, the more you see the benefits spill over in to your everyday life. This could help with the relaxation you are seeking, by navigating your thoughts away from how you will perform in the bedroom.

I'm not sure if it's against the rules to recommend a particular service on here (mods, please remove this paragraph if so), but I've been following the guided meditation on the Headspace app (https://www.headspace.com). I was reluctant about meditation at first but thought I'd at least give it a go after one of my friends recommended it to me, but I have found it to be very beneficial.

Best of luck, and keep up the good work.

[Ayjaye Member Find all posts View Profile Close Ayjaye]

Hey Ayjaye, sorry to hear about your PE induced performance anxiety. It sounds like you have a great partner who is trying to support you through this, and with time I'm sure this will all be a distant memory, especially given you're practicing edging alongside your enlargement routine.

It could definitely be partly down to going porn free, especially if you were prior to your abstinence heavily reliant on porn to get an erection.

May I suggest you consider looking into meditation? I've been practicing mindfulness meditation for around a month now to help with non-PE related anxiety issues. Whilst this won't directly have an effect on your sexual performance, I've personally found the more consistent you are with keeping up meditation, the more you see the benefits spill over in to your everyday life. This could help with the relaxation you are seeking, by navigating your thoughts away from how you will perform in the bedroom.

I'm not sure if it's against the rules to recommend a particular service on here (mods, please remove this paragraph if so), but I've been following the guided meditation on the Headspace app (https://www.headspace.com). I was reluctant about meditation at first but thought I'd at least give it a go after one of my friends recommended it to me, but I have found it to be very beneficial.

Best of luck, and keep up the good work.

Hey Bukowski,

Thanks for the support mate, even thou online, its nice to feel supported

Will definitely take a look at the link and I do agree with you, I suffer anxiety issues outside of PE also and will definitely look into meditation. I know it part its due to the porn as I was a pretty heavy user of it for arousal and I acknowledge this now and have no desire to go back, just gotta keep pushing myself forwards!

Today is a new day and i'm going to beat all of this, I am going to start working on relaxtion / meditation and cut back my routine a little as it could also be in part due to over-training.

My new routine is going to start today, I had day 23 as a rest day also and my unit certainly feels more 'alive' today, also woke again with a morning wood which I have had since early on in this process - perhaps I went a little too hard to fast and just need to slow it all down.

Going to cut back on reps and move to a 2 on 1 off routine and see how that works out for me.

Keep up the good work aswell mate, love reading your daily log.

[Ayjaye Member Find all posts View Profile Close Ayjaye]

Day 23 - Back on the boat, did the my usual routine today but have decided to move to 2 on 1 off and see if I respond better to that, will continue to scale back if need be.

Day 24 - Felt really good this session, I am getting really nice jelqs now and end the session feeling like I have done a workout but not overdone it, PI's all looking good and feeling refreshed heading into a rest day!