Erratic's consistency log

[erratic]

Hi guys/gals

The arguments I read here all made too much sense so this is my brand new log , right here. As a person I often lack willpower when it comes to myself but less about others so I hope keeping this log alive will create some external motivation and make me enter a virtuous circle.

One of the best arguments for starting a log is that it helps one keeping track, that is also part of my decision. In fact I've already lost track of my PE'ing when I started only a few days ago ! So I'll put it in writing here. And to punish myself for my lack of rigor in the first days, I've decided to restart counting days from 1, starting today.

After much debate with myself I decided to stop ejaculating. Until a week ago I was on a 5-ish time/week basis, I plan to switch to one time per week. As I wrote elsewhere, I stopped watching porn 2 month ago without much difficulty. I didn't feel addicted to it, in fact I would watch porn only every 4 or 5 masturbation, but that's still an average of once a week, and I simply cannot justify having this in my life. It doesn't bring me anything good, makes me feel awful about myself just after orgasm ( I KNOW you guys know the feeling, turning off the video in a rush right after you're done because you feel so bad about what you watched). I don't EVER want to feel bad about sex or about anything for that matter, so I am determined to suppress it from my life once and for all.
So without porn, for the last 2 month I was still masturbating often, fantasizing almost exclusively about my GF, but when I read testimonies about how ejaculating drains your energy, I couldn't help but relate. I lack energy very often and while there might be other causes, I don't want to neglect anything. Besides, my EQ is not satisfying so I'll keep my mojo and stop ejaculating- at the same time I'm starting to PE. Changing too many parameters at the same time is will not exactly bring scientific data but who cares, I don't want to lose time, I want a radical change. It's been about 48H since I haven't ejaculated and can already feel it's going to be harder to abstain than say, smoking a joint or watching some porn.

This brings us back on the topic of willpower/procrastination; this will be an interesting experiment. The quick research I have made on the subject suggest that we have a finite amount of "will" and that we should apply it wisely for the things that matter the most. It is problematic for me since I feel like I am in a big period of change in my life, for the better, in many areas and all of them require some degree or persistence and mental strength. In other words, something has to give. I've quit any form of cannabis a few month ago, I try to stay away from alcohol, I study new subjects, I've been going to a Gym to gain muscle ( I'm really slim) for 2 weeks, now it's no ejaculation ( or masturbation without climax, probably even harder to resist) and a regular, methodical PE routine, plus the log... So I'm afraid I'm going to crack somewhere along the way, I feel I might be asking myself too much too soon. So to counterbalance a bit I've decided to indulge myself on the things I like, like buying an expensive book or buying a fancy pair of shoes/ piece of clothing. I think clothing can play a big part in one's self confidence so in the end I'm still in the virtuous circle.

We'll see, I'll do my best not to disappoint, but I invite you guys to post here and give me all the advice you can, all constructive criticism is welcome and it takes a lot to hurt my feelings so comment as much as you like and encourage me! I feel more determined than ever but I'll need you guys. Logs are one of the best things about this forum. Oh, and feel free to correct all my english mistakes, even the tiny or stylistic ones. I'll be thankful.

E.

[erratic]

Day 1

Of course I'm starting with the JP90.

10-15 min warm up
5 min stretches all directions
15 minutes wet Jelqs and V-jelqs, alternatively. I didn't count the number of reps, I did count them for the first days but I just timed how long a whole session would last and now I just go by the clock, much less tedious. A few helicopters when switching from one type of jelq to the other.
10 minutes just playing with the tool, trying to focus on my sensations with 30%- 80% erect.
5 minutes warm down.


It sounds stupid but the warm down is not easy for me because by the time I'm done with the exercises, my rice sock is just barely warm, and I can't get all dressed up again, heat the sock in the kitchen where my roommates are, then go back to my room, undress again and apply the sock. So I just use the residual heat from the sock, which seems insufficient.

For the next time I'll try to use a second sock, with much more heat and hopefully by the time I'm done jelquing, it will be a the right temp.

Like I've said I've been doing that for a few days on and off already, and my PIs are absolutely all green, I'm horny as hell because the GF has been away for a month. She'll be back in three weeks and we talk kind of dirty on the phone, helps me stay focused ! Actually I have to really tame myself not to jelq a lot more because I feel absolutely no soreness whatsoever, my dick seems happy that I massage it so nicely; so I feel I can start right away at 2 on-1 off without much risk. Am I making a beginner's mistake ? Can I go by feel ?

Side note, the water-based lube dries too quickly to my taste and is kinda sticky afterwards, quite unpleasant, but the silicone-based one is a bit too thick and less slippery so I mix the two and it seems a nice compromise. I have a bowl of water aside my bed to reactivate the lube effect from time to time.
That's all for today.

E.

[erratic]

Day 2


Yesterday night I had trouble sleeping. My arousal was through the roof, even though my EQ was only across the 10%- 80% range all night. My heart was pounding out of my chest and I wanted my girl bad. Maybe it was just my feeling that withdrawal was going to be difficult which turned into a self-fulfilling prophecy, anyway I just could not sleep. Impossible. I tried everything to get my mind off my GF. I even watched « Stand by me » with Wil Wheaton and didn't fall asleep, now that tells you how awake I was ;-) Anyway I turned off the light for good at 5 AM to wake up at 6:59 just before my alarm rang. 2 hours sleep is really not enough and to make things worse, I had a super intense workout at the gym for one hour and a half.. I'm literally exhausted but on the way back home I couldn't wait to PE and warm down in the shower.



15 min warm up

A few stretches in all directions except towards my feet ( my erect angle is bad , so I'm reluctant to do anything that could possibly make my dick point towards the ground ;- )

[50 slooow jelqs then helicopters, then 30 slow V-jelqs, then helicopters] X3

A few stretches

Warm down in the shower, with a few stretches- couldn't help but milk it a bit more with the liquid soap :- )


My dick seems fine, thanks, and my libido is still super high but I am too sleep deprived to have any energy down there. I still haven't managed to get a quality 90-95 erection and make actual measurements. My BPFSL is just above the 8' mark though, I just measured right now. Will go to bed early and tomorrow is a rest day PE -wise.



E.

[erratic]

Day 3

today was a day off but I had to fight the urge to PE. I managed to measure my BPEL with a 90-95% erection: 7,25. I was pinching the base of my penis right after a kegel to keep the blood in there though, otherwise back to 75% immediately *sigh
I expect/ hope quick noob gains just from the EQ improvement, I feel I might gain as much as 0,5 in EL. EG not measured today, last time I was a bit above the 5 inches mark.

Should I include my measurements in my sig ? It seems like bragging, but it will maybe save time later, not answering several times the same questions.

note: I'm off maca and ginseng for the next few days. I've been taking them for many month without interruption, figured it would be nice to take a break.

E.

[erratic]

Day 4

Warm up, more stretches than the last ime ( about 10 minutes), then 50 slooow jelqs then helicopters, then 30 slow V-jelqs, then helicopters, etc for approx 50 minutes
Warm down in the shower

Is 50 minutes too long ? It felt really okay; my EQ was ranging from 20 to 80% during the exercise. I try to be attentive to what my body tells me, but so far so good. Still no orgasm since 5 days. That has to be a personal best, or close ;- )

I decided to take tomorrow off. I really don't want to take any chance to hurt myself. So instead of going 3 on- 1 off, like I had planned, I will in fact reduce my pace at 1 on-1 off until the end of next week. I made a calendar pinned to the wall to help me keep track. The week after that will be 2 on, 1 off then... we'll see.

E.

[erratic]

Day 5 -REST

Took advantage of this free time to browse th forum and others' logs, and try to convince myself I dont' have a veinous leakage LOL.

[erratic]

Day 6:

15min warm-up
10 minutes stretches
30 minutes jelqs and v-jelqus
a few flaccid bends
Warm down in the shower

I tried flaccid bends for the first time. Felt ok. Not sure if early to add them to my routine ?
My PI are neutral so I'm not worried.

E.

[erratic]

Quick question guys, how do I create/ edit/ display a signature ? I've been to the "edit signature" tab, wrote my measurements, but impossible to get it to appear at the bottom of my message after clicking " save signature "...


Do the sigs need to be approved of by a moderator ?

Thanks !

E.

[erratic]

Ah okay, it appears now. Thought it would be retroactive. Nevermind !

[imac]

When you write a post there's a little box at the bottom that says "show your signature" if that box has been unchecked in your past posts then your signature won't show up on those posts. Also I'm not sure whether or not signatures show when posting from a mobile.