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Mental problems with wife's and own sexual past

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  • Trapezius When it comes to relationship's trust is a must, if you don't trust your partner hire a good private investigator and either dispel your insecurities or verify your suspicions. From my experience suspicion about infidelity is often founded, but it can also be a sign of personal desires to be unfaithful and projection.

    If you can't personally contain your desires for other women then you are best to be single. Being in your children's life is very important to their development, but women are known to weaponize them against a man if there is a benefit in doing so or they feel slighted. What ever you decide remember what is best for your kid/kids and work towards that outcome.

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    • Originally posted by Stretching Eternal View Post
      Trapezius When it comes to relationship's trust is a must, if you don't trust your partner hire a good private investigator and either dispel your insecurities or verify your suspicions. From my experience suspicion about infidelity is often founded, but it can also be a sign of personal desires to be unfaithful and projection.

      If you can't personally contain your desires for other women then you are best to be single. Being in your children's life is very important to their development, but women are known to weaponize them against a man if there is a benefit in doing so or they feel slighted. What ever you decide remember what is best for your kid/kids and work towards that outcome.
      It would be best for me to be single or have few years of short few weeks to few months relationships. I tried that in 2019 but failed and got priapism and lost all my confidence. Now slowly regaining some of it with great effort and money.

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      • You have to value and love yourself. If you don't how can you expect others to?

        This may sound like pat advice, but it's a very real thing! It's also not a reference to judging yourself based on looks, penis size, wealth, etc. but to your value as a human being.

        When you really do this, you'll be able to attract and keep relationships with those who want to be with you for more than superficialities.
        Last edited by Big Al; 1 week ago.
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        • Trap face it your brain is broken. No kind words here will help you. You are suffering a form of PTSD that needs professional help. No shame in admitting you need that kind of help. It takes a man to realize he need assistance and to go out and get it. Do it and you'll have a chance to get better. Without it, well you'll be forever what you are now and I don't think you like it.
          The world's still a toy if you just stay a boy!

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          • Originally posted by CUSP82 View Post
            Trap face it your brain is broken. No kind words here will help you. You are suffering a form of PTSD that needs professional help. No shame in admitting you need that kind of help. It takes a man to realize he need assistance and to go out and get it. Do it and you'll have a chance to get better. Without it, well you'll be forever what you are now and I don't think you like it.
            I am facing it. And just writing here helps a little bit. I have been on psychotherapy just under 2 years straight. Just started with different therapist. I have talked to psychiatrists too. I have also studied this and ssri meds is the one route I have not taken. Psilocybin I would be very interrested to try. Maybe SSRI or psilo will be cure for the brain. I think I will need chemical assistance to cure brain. You are right about post traumatic stress disorder.

            Short version of main actual reason for last 2 years of misery and post traumatic stress disorder.
            That priapism accident and ED after that happened in that point of life that it utterly destroyed me. That accident caused post traumatic stress disorder. I was not mentally stable before that, but nothing actual damage has happened to my body, EQ was 10/10. I would have been ok soon without that accident. After that I was scared to death that there is permanent damage.

            Long version:

            The main mind fuckery was that 2019 fall when I was in bad mental state after things went bad with women I dated 10 months. I did few very stupid decisions. I had 10/10 EQ and tried to have sex with very ugly woman and it did not work. I promised myself I will never try to have sex with ugly woman. I had one beautiful woman after that. Then the woman I dated canceled spa weekend in last minute and went to take another man to her bed. I wanted to have some woman in my bed. In bar I went for ugly woman who looked at me. Took her home and said I don't want sex but she wanted. It did not work even with 100mg viagra. In the morning I injected Invicorp and got priapism that was taken care in ER after 5-6 hours.

            ​​​​

            After that erection did not work with that beautiful woman who with it had worked before. This was the moment that destroyed my life. I was handsome 35yo guy, with good body and dick, who wanted to finally live dating period of life. Then suddenly I had what I thought to be permanent ED even with drugs. Just before I was super alfa 10/10 EQ. Self-confidence straight from 7/10---> 1/10. I met few beautiful women but dare not make a move. And even after 8 months after accident when I met my current GF my erection did not work and mind was utterly ruined. Thoughts of ending my life came to visit my head.

            I should have stopped beeing in contact with my ex and take it easy and not rush things. Take a little time before starting dating again. Just like I did after my divorce and it worked.

            Now erection is ok with drugs. 80-90 % what it was before. Just had 2 nights in a row with 1-2 hour sex sessions. I am again few years older and look 5 years older because huge anxiety.

            It is part perfectionism;
            I have about everything else fine in my life. Good job, 2 healthy kids. But the ego had plans that good looking guy, liked by girls since teens and whole life and still +30yo. Good body, good dick, everything good to go. And I fucking failed again in that part of life, dating and single life, just like I failed as teenager. Psychological erectile dysfunction is the main reason.

            And that one part of life where I failed brings mind down so whole life is destroyed.
            Last edited by Trapezius; 5 days ago.

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            • Life is not destroyed. That occurs only if you let it. There are many things in life I wanted but I just couldn't have. I never dwelt on that which I couldn't have but rather found other things to do that I enjoy.Sure I like women but if I didn't have one there is so much in life to enjoy I always found something to keep me and happy and I go to bed each night satisfied with the day. Think about other hings and that which you can't have right now forget about and with time it will come back.
              The world's still a toy if you just stay a boy!

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              • Originally posted by CUSP82 View Post
                Life is not destroyed. That occurs only if you let it. There are many things in life I wanted but I just couldn't have. I never dwelt on that which I couldn't have but rather found other things to do that I enjoy.Sure I like women but if I didn't have one there is so much in life to enjoy I always found something to keep me and happy and I go to bed each night satisfied with the day. Think about other hings and that which you can't have right now forget about and with time it will come back.
                Again thank you for commenting. I am grateful to anyone who takes time to post this thread after 5 years of my endless seeming struggling. I myself am actually staring to believe again that I will be fine with great amount of effort.

                One thing is that I really have enjoyed sex in 2 different relationships and liked how I am sexually. And I could not understand why I can't be like that with other women. I have kinda accepted that I need longer relationship and feelings to enjoy sexuality and there is nothing to shame about that. Now with current GF I have started to like my sexuality too. Not yet so much that in those two relationahips before, but I am getting there. Thought has actually come to mind that I could be with her long time and do not need to seek experiences anymore.

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                • Find something you enjoy doing and do it. Put sex away.
                  The world's still a toy if you just stay a boy!

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